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Is there anything more dispassionately intimate than a dental hygienist appointment?

Super tiny, super cute little hygienist telling me how improved my gums are while her torso is pressed against my head and her face is like 3 inches above mine while she roots around my mouth.

The fact that I'm counting this as close human contact makes me worry about how lonely I am.
 
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Is there anything more dispassionately intimate than a dental hygienist appointment?

Super tiny, super cute little hygienist telling me how improved my gums are while her torso is pressed against my head and her face is like 3 inches above mine while she roots around my mouth.

The fact that I'm counting this as close human contact makes me worry about how lonely I am.
It could have been @Terrik .
 
Is there anything more dispassionately intimate than a dental hygienist appointment?

Super tiny, super cute little hygienist telling me how improved my gums are while her torso is pressed against my head and her face is like 3 inches above mine while she roots around my mouth.

The fact that I'm counting this as close human contact makes me worry about how lonely I am.
I had a crush on my hygienist once. In a plan to spend more time with her I would eat a package of Oreo's before the appointment.
 
It is only now that I understand @GasBandit 's tooth fetish.

The soft scrape against the enamel. The growing pressure and then release of calculus being removed by an impossibly sharp scaler. The curette moving ever closer to the gingiva. Millimeter by millimeter.

"Soon", I whisper. "I will uncover what lies beneath."
 
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It is only now that I understand @GasBandit 's tooth fetish.

The soft scrape against the enamel. The growing pressure and then release of calculus being removed by an impossibly sharp scaler. The curette moving ever closer to the gingiva. Millimeter by millimeter.

"Soon", I whisper. "I will uncover what lies beneath."
Hmm, removing calculus, my favorite
 
It's that time of year again.
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I've always loved the monster cereals. But I'm noticing that the Frankenberry just isn't as strawberry-flavored as it used to be.

Good thing I have Nestle Quick in the cabinet to fix that right up :D
 
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What really gets me is that neither January 9th, nor the 1st of September is on a Sunday in 2019.
Obvious grammar and calendar issues aside, I don't even have Netflix! Never have.
I'm almost sorry I deleted it without ever opening it. Who knows how many other hilarious inaccuracies were inside.

--Patrick
 
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