The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.

North_Ranger

Staff member
Reactions
46 0 0
#1
Following the tradition begun by fade, this thread is for things you think aren't important enough to warrant their own thread, but you'd still like to tell 'em.

In my case, I just fricking love bureaucracy, especially when it comes to getting into government programs that are meant to promote newly-graduated employment. Apparently I'm not eligible to get a "First Chance" card (basically the state would give some money to my first employer for up to 10 months) unless I quit the job I took because I'd rather do some work than sit on my ass and collect the dole. Apparently it makes sense to them that an MA with a license to teach English works as a telemarketer...
 
Reactions
94 10 0
#2
Some trainwreck threads are amazing.

[quote="Something Awful'']I got back together, sort of, with an ex. I think we pretty much knew that it was just going to be for sex and that was fine. I didn't want or need a boyfriend. Especially not one that was him.

We get as far as him unbuttoning my dress and he comes out with:

'I can't. It's like trying to gently caress Anne Frank.'

Cockblocked by Hitler? I still haven't figured that one out..[/quote]

I'm a terrible man, but I laughed so hard. For the record, this was from a ''what deal killers have you experienced in dates'' thread.
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
Reactions
46 0 0
#3
What's wrong with Anne Frank? Besides her status as the innocent face of Holocaust victims and being jailbait, I mean?

...

Oh God, I just called Anne Frank jailbait, didn't I? I'm so dead now.
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
Reactions
46 0 0
#5
It still sounds weird to me. I mean, Golda Meir I'd understand, 'cause she looks damn ugly, but Anne Frank?
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
Reactions
46 0 0
#7
NR, if you had the chance, would you do Anne Frank?
If she were a little older... sixteen's a little too young for my taste. Plus, it would be kinda creepy for various reasons, including my niece being sixteen and the sudden resurrection of a long-dead little Jewish Dutch girl.
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
Reactions
46 0 0
#11
Well, it seemed like you were wondering why Anne Frank would be a turn-off.
I still wonder, because such expressions as the one above are usually related to someone really fugly, like Courtney Love or Cher or Gwyneth Paltrow with her neck out. Anne Frank's kinda cute.
 
P

Philosopher B.

#12
NR, if you had the chance, would you do Anne Frank?
If she were a little older... sixteen's a little too young for my taste. Plus, it would be kinda creepy for various reasons, including my niece being sixteen and the sudden resurrection of a long-dead little Jewish Dutch girl.[/QUOTE]

I was gonna make an Icarus joke, but sixteen is like 'ugly old biatch' in Icarus Years.
 

Amorous Eyes

Staff member
Reactions
42 0 0
#13
NR, if you had the chance, would you do Anne Frank?
If she were a little older... sixteen's a little too young for my taste. Plus, it would be kinda creepy for various reasons, including my niece being sixteen and the sudden resurrection of a long-dead little Jewish Dutch girl.[/QUOTE]

Zombie Anne Frank?



Just a little creepy.
 
Reactions
42 0 0
#23
Google translate:

Come, little ones, and let me tell the story ... such as my mind recalls half asleep.

Cap. 1

Wondering whether to go to Caprabo at that time, thinking that maybe I left over time, I stayed a while at home. Good strategy, for few seconds later my father went down to buy something or other for dinner ... And, following the basic safety tips when going to the house of a girl, but had no need to use them, thought Nacho buy what he called "extras." And I did not want to give explanations when I meet with my father and younger sister at the supermarket, especially because, for the same reason, he said he was going to dinner "with people of the master's house one of them.
The lambrusco left me free, paid for my father, but I was very angry about marginal issues unrelated to the story, so I went with a little more time than you should. It had to lose, which I did, but the case is already in the neighborhood for half an hour before the agreed she calls me and tells me to go later that the tattoo is taking longer than expected.
I did time in a nasty bar run by a Chinese, I passed a pharmacy and let it go because of the risk to see me as they returned home, and finally got home.

Cap. 2

The beginning was promising: I was loving, he showed me the tattoo (which is not as bad as I thought, but is yet to convince me to finish: it is different from meeting a girl and discover a discreet tattoo on the back or something like that to know someone with a tattoo on the basis of the size of a donut, but that's another story must be told another time) and shows me his room. Meticulously. With awkward pauses. That made me cool.

I take your "storage-dispatch" to see the video that has been set for work on Monday, greeting his mother and sister, we settled a bit ... Not a bad start. He sits beside me on the sofa, there are occasional faint touch ...
Oh, and his mother and sister were very good company to see Buffy.

...

The fact is that the mother leaves, after making a typical mother and try to overfeed, and his sister alone "is going to stay a while (until 3:30 / 4:00). It's nice, Buffy is not as bad as I remembered, sister lie down on the floor and Yas on the couch ... with feet pointing towards me. > _ <
After a while, he redirected his head toward me, and I leaned as much as is humanly possible. It does not work, there are cushions for middle. And it's the sister. "When will be different, I think," now there is no possibility of intimacy. "
Yes it was different.

Cap 3 (and change of tense and for good)

A sister which cleared the ground, Yas was directly, leaving me on the sofa. I lay down, so we had the heads more or less the same axis, and I thought if acaricides head like a faithful dog, but he was as rare. And besides, which saw my hand floating around (but for my pose upon lying down, was not to do anything orbiting), began as a shrink.
Sick of this situation where we were at two different levels, (and seeing that the thing ended, since it was sleeping moments) decided that tb I Lay her on the floor. I'm a little matter to lie down beside her ... And I swear, is gradually moving away from me!
Finally, there is very tired, clearly tells me as I half check / goodbye in a hurry. I give him chocolate before going to sleep, which I reserved for, well, when they went to sleep *, I appreciate it, but goodbye. Two more correct kisses and greetings from the balcony, but not because I am a posh blind the lamppost that stands between the balcony and my eyes.

I get lost and just taking a taxi.

* Or to bed> _> <_ <

("Two kisses on the cheek, of course)
 
Reactions
296 38 0
#24
I hereby move that the 3rd edition of this thread be subtitled "The Crappening"
 

Gusto

Staff member
Reactions
75 0 0
#31
I have several sheets of paper downstairs in the "studio" stained and labeled with various household polar solvents. I wanna see if any of them can provide a cheaper alternative to mineral spirits for the sake of oil painting.

...I may have poisoned myself.
 
Reactions
273 91 0
#32
This song, or the whole CD it's on in fact, stuck in my heaaaad. It's poison, oh sweet sweet poison.

 

figmentPez

Staff member
Reactions
1,190 159 3
#35
The blog "This is Why You're Fat" disappeared from the interwebs a few weeks ago, and rumors about the reason are finally starting to surface. Allegedly it went down due to a spat between the blog's creators. Allegedly Richard Blakeley plead guilty to harassment of co-blogger and former girlfriend Jessica Amason, and deleted all the content of the blog in spite. Whatever the truth, TIWYF is in limbo and a new blog has stepped up to fill the void: This Is Why You're Huge.
 
Top