GasBandit
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  • Few things are as gratifying as finally managing to grab that one stray ear hair with tweezers and no mirror.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Or even sans tweezers.
    I don't need discord, I just need an audio file on loop "Hey Gas, I got a question.."
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    But it's only a QUICK question...
    GasBandit
    GasBandit
    But a "legitimate" question!
    ♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    It's still a little early for Christmas music.
    If you're not in Discord, are you even really a Halforumite?
    Cog
    Cog
    Do I need to say something there?
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Yes.
    My AMA disappeared into the mists of time. Maybe for the best :P
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    The world will never know.
    I'd do an AMA, too, but I know it'd just be 30 questions about pork sausage.
    I'm playing the game - the one that will take me to my end. I'm waiting for the rain, to wash who I am.
    The mark of maturity is enjoying things you hated as a child. For example, spankings and naps.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    And brussels sprouts. Mmm, tiny cabbages.
    Every day is a struggle against the idea of putting chicken nuggets in the blender and calling it a protein shake. 17 days til solid food.
    Well, here goes nothing.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Here’s hoping nothing untoward happens.
    Bricks are domesticated rocks.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Bricks are dirt and/or clay that we have remade in rocks' image.
    When the PC Master Race curses you: "May your ping time match your frames per second."
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    "May your GPU temp match your FPS in °C."
    The boss just banned overly-specific nicknames, and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian the Good Time Ruiner.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Yeah, leave Brian’s good name out of it.
    Marriage must be especially awful for a bisexual. There's TWICE as many people you can't have sex with!
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    What happens if you marry an asexual?
    I don’t always use UTF-8, but when I do, I parse it as ASCII.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    At least it’s not Zalgo.
    If there is a universal constant, it might be that no man of any age ever wants to consider the thought that he may have had his last BJ.
    Yogurt is just spoiled milk pretending to be pudding.
    blotsfan
    blotsfan
    Greek yogurt is delicious and can work as a great, healthier substitute for cheese in many places. Fight me.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    At least it's not kefir.
    If animals didn't want to be eaten, why are they made out of food.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Because making out of the food food eats would also make them much, much slower.
    It annoys me that the lowest magnitude numbered street in my town is 15th street. Doesn't that really make 15th street... 1st street?
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    No, it means they could only come up with 14 clever street names.
    Whose IQ is higher, a Hanzo Main, or a Rick and Morty fan?
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Statistically? I'm guessing the R&M fan. Just remember that IQ is only a measure of INT, not WIS.
    Being a solid 3.5 with a thing for 10s is rough.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Just find one 10 and then go into it almost 3 whole times.
    Karma means I can do bad things to people all day long and rest easy in the knowledge they deserve it.
    Being an adult is easy. You just feel tired all the time and tell people about how tired you are and they tell you THEY are tired as well.
    blotsfan
    blotsfan
    Then take a nap.

    THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Then you tell them about how you stayed up until 3:30a the previous night dicking around on the Internet.
    Every mother teaches their son to mansplain from day one by pretending not to know. And then they grow up and get griped at for it.
    Why does Norway paint barcodes on their warships? So when they all return to port, they can SCANDINAVIAN
    Emrys
    Emrys
    No. Just... no.
    "Dependence begets subservience and venality, suffocates the germ of virtue, and prepares fit tools for the designs of ambition." Jefferson
    You ever notice how unburned CD-Rs smell like celery?
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    No.
    We went a walking in the dark, goosing statues in the park, and honey, if Sherman's Horse can take it, so can you.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    ...and reminisciiiiiiiiiing
    I bet the first guy to hear a parrot talk freaked right the hell out and was afraid to tell anybody.
    Horror movies with jump scares are like stand up comedians who tickle people instead of telling jokes. "You laughed! Technically I'm funny!"
    Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday is so close to Monday.
    Picking your nose doesn't make you a bad person, it's what you do next that determines your character.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    What kind of person are you if you put it back?
    There's no longer such things as unacceptable behavior, just unacceptable victims.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    What we need now are standards on what constitutes unacceptable victim behavior.
    Most adult friendships are just figuring out whose turn it is to cancel plans.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Sometimes it's more about whose turn it is to forget to plan any plans in the first place.
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You're doing the thing again
I get that reference!
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Very Subtle.
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