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  4. Welcome to Halforums!

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  5. Welcome to Halforums!

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  6. Welcome to Halforums!

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GasBandit
Last Activity:
Jul 23, 2017 at 12:01 PM
Joined:
Nov 27, 2008
Messages:
48,745
Trophy Points:
1,844
Media:
21
Albums:
1
Positive ratings received:
43,175
Neutral ratings received:
1,194
Negative ratings received:
179

Post Ratings

Received: Given:
Like 14,417 1,239
Disagree 262 34
Hugs 2,092 171
LOVE IT!! 3,013 19
Funny 15,398 198
Pun 362 124
Informative 2,840 206
I get that reference. 816 182
I need this explained to me. 163 7
Needs a lock! 166 10
Brofist 4,599 299
Spoiler! 254 13
You're doing the thing again. 153 48
Gender:
Male
Birthday:
Jan 24, 1979 (Age: 38)
Home Page:
Location:
Yeehawbutts, Texas
Occupation:
Retired supervillain

GasBandit

Ask me about my Reprehensible Filth, Male, 38, from Yeehawbutts, Texas

Staff Member

Why does Norway paint barcodes on their warships? So when they all return to port, they can SCANDINAVIAN Jul 23, 2017 at 2:25 AM

GasBandit was last seen:
Jul 23, 2017 at 12:01 PM
    1. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Why does Norway paint barcodes on their warships? So when they all return to port, they can SCANDINAVIAN
    2. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      "Dependence begets subservience and venality, suffocates the germ of virtue, and prepares fit tools for the designs of ambition." Jefferson
    3. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      You ever notice how unburned CD-Rs smell like celery?
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        No.
        Jul 14, 2017
    4. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      We went a walking in the dark, goosing statues in the park, and honey, if Sherman's Horse can take it, so can you.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        ...and reminisciiiiiiiiiing
        Jul 12, 2017
    5. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      I bet the first guy to hear a parrot talk freaked right the hell out and was afraid to tell anybody.
    6. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Horror movies with jump scares are like stand up comedians who tickle people instead of telling jokes. "You laughed! Technically I'm funny!"
    7. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday is so close to Monday.
    8. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Picking your nose doesn't make you a bad person, it's what you do next that determines your character.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        What kind of person are you if you put it back?
        Jun 23, 2017
    9. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      There's no longer such things as unacceptable behavior, just unacceptable victims.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        What we need now are standards on what constitutes unacceptable victim behavior.
        Jun 12, 2017
    10. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Most adult friendships are just figuring out whose turn it is to cancel plans.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        Sometimes it's more about whose turn it is to forget to plan any plans in the first place.
        Jun 12, 2017
    11. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Where do I register to become a sex offender?
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        PLEASE tell me there is a Yahoo! Answers thread for this.
        Jun 7, 2017
        Denbrought likes this.
    12. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Pollen count's so high, the meth heads are trying to convert it back into sudafed.
    13. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      I was Bart's age when the Simpsons launched (not counting Tracy Ullman). They're still on the air, and I'm now Homer's age, and I envy him.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        Don't. The weirdest stuff always seems to happen to that guy. And his family. And his town. Also I was in college by the time even the Tracy Ullman ones came out.
        May 31, 2017
    14. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over, somehow.
    15. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Remember, kids, you can't spell "advertisements" without semen between the tits.
    16. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      My career as a karate instructor was tragically curtailed when parents found out I was wholly unqualified & just enjoyed kicking children.
    17. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Postmodernism - is it nihilism for narcissists, or narcissism for nihilists?
    18. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Look out! The anorgasmic are comi- wait, no, false alarm. They're not.
      1. Bubble181 likes this.
    19. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Knowing what a CHA modifier is, is apparently a negative CHA modifier.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        This explains why high CHA folks tend to have low INT.
        Mar 19, 2017
    20. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Why do people get excited for Pi day (3/14)? It's completely irrational.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        I prefer Tau day. It's twice as good.
        Mar 15, 2017
    21. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      I have two settings: "Sleep is for the weak" and "Sleeping for a week."
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        Is there a setting for "Sleep-eat your physique?"
        Feb 27, 2017
    22. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      If your GF/Wife has a friend you find annoying, simply mention offhandedly at random that the friend is pretty. Problem will solve itself.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        That could backfire, y'know. Best be prepared for either outcome.
        Feb 24, 2017
    23. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Fee Fee Fi Fi Fo Fo Fum, I smell smoke in the au-di-to-ri-um
    24. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Interior crocodile alligator. I drive a Chevrolet movie theater.
      1. mikerc
        mikerc
        "Interior crocodile alligator"? Are you claiming to be an otherkin?!
        Jan 17, 2017
      2. GasBandit
    25. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Make guns illegal! Because it worked so well for drugs, right?
    26. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      One of the difficult things about being single again is trying to find a good reason to shower on days I don't go in to work.
    27. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      You ever just feel like a gooey wad of festering, caustic venom encased in a candy shell of politeness and amiability?
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        No. There have been a few times I've felt like caged vengeance, but not venom.
        Dec 28, 2016
    28. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Every corpse on Everest was once an extremely motivated person. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        "Even if you don't succeed, you might still serve as a cautionary tale for those who follow."
        Dec 21, 2016
        Null likes this.
    29. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      That one rogue hair on your forehead that shows you where your hairline used to be. When it grows out, it's like running into an awkward ex.
    30. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      People my age get so worked up about Star Wars because they've been making payments on it since they were kids but they'll never own it.
      1. Dei likes this.
    31. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      "Don't call me racist until you've tried taking Korean clients to a Japanese restaurant." -Overheard in a Goldman Sachs elevator
      1. stienman likes this.
    32. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      "Political Correctness is fascism pretending to be manners." - George Carlin
      1. PatrThom likes this.
      2. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        This quote is confirmed as "genuine Carlin," unlike many of the other ones out there attributed to him.
        Nov 18, 2016
    33. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      Women are like guns - they recoil when I hold them.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        Do any of them go off half-cocked?
        Oct 26, 2016
      2. Null
        Null
        If they're recoiling when you hold them, it sounds like there's a problem with an oversensitive trigger causing premature detonation. Girls with oversensitive triggers can be avoided by steering clear of tumblr.
        Oct 26, 2016
    34. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      I don't think people appreciate how much effort I put into not becoming a serial killer.
      1. PatrThom
        PatrThom
        Right there with you, pal.
        Oct 7, 2016
    35. GasBandit
      GasBandit
      If you're not the one paying for something, you're what's being sold. Expect to be treated as their product, not a customer.
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Birthday:
    Jan 24, 1979 (Age: 38)
    Home Page:
    http://www.gasbanditry.com
    Location:
    Yeehawbutts, Texas
    Occupation:
    Retired supervillain
    I'll tell you about the person I met when I was young...

    In 198x, we found the Badd's top secret material for Project Albatross, which was never put into practice. Commander of the Imperial Forces, Generalissimo Killt, had seen the plan and decided to implement it himself.

    The Federation tried to stop him by sending our best soldier, "Super" Joe... but lost contact with him. One brave man was sent with a special mission - to rescue Joe, and complete his mission. The story begins...

    Signature

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  • You know, today already got off to a rough start. But I was getting it sorted out, and had a handle on it. While I was...
    GasBandit, Dec 22, 2016
    So here we are. It's been three years. What do I say? Am I over it? I don't know. Maybe I never will be completely. But I...
    GasBandit, Nov 29, 2016
    Maybe someday I'll let this day go by unremarked. But I am not quite there yet, this year. I'm bitter, and tempted to put...
    GasBandit, May 16, 2016
    It's the first time I've managed to get any substantial time off from work in 5 or 7 years or so. It's nice, I guess. The...
    GasBandit, Apr 2, 2016
    It just occurred to me that maybe my outlook on marriage is shaped by my family's track record. My mother and father married...
    GasBandit, Dec 8, 2015
    It's all trance stuff. I know I know, trance rots the brain... but, it's really good music to get work done. So here's the...
    GasBandit, Oct 8, 2015
    I am sharp and twisted. I wonder how so many people rise so high when they have no idea what they are doing. I hear the...
    GasBandit, Sep 30, 2015
    [IMG] Total Views: 483,087 Subscribers: 2,748 Total minutes watched: 3,540,683 Likes: 5256 Dislikes: 96 Total ad revenue:...
    GasBandit, Sep 18, 2015
    I've been waiting to die. It sounds melodramatic, but that's the simplest way to put it. Even as I've recovered from the...
    GasBandit, Jul 7, 2015
    It's the second occurrence of your birthday since you passed. Seems like a proper time to look back. It's been a bit of a...
    GasBandit, May 16, 2015
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