I feel the same. I felt the same the first days after the quake, everything was surreal and part of me find it interesting. On the other side, I'm still dealing with what happened the next year.I know I am not alone at all, but I have to admit that there is a part of me that gets excited every time something big and bad starts to happen. It's exciting and dangerous and disruptive. I fully understand that many people don't have the luxury to feel this way, and I mean no disrespect. It's not really a voluntary reaction, though.