Rant VI: Now Drama Free

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I've posted a few times on here about my nephew, Dexter and his being born 3 months premature, his cerebral palsy, shunt and now his liver cancer. I don't think I ever mentioned it, but if you've checked out my sister's blog, you may have picked up that she was also pregnant with a second child, due right around the time Dexter's chemo was to be finished.
Well, yesterday she found out she miscarried.

My sister and my brother-in law are both wonderful people. Both lead healthy lives with a very healthy vegetarian diet, my sister was a straight A student in High School who graduated with honours and again with honours from the arts acadmy she attended, who is not going back to night school at age 28, and again receiving straight As, so that she can go to University again and become a nurse.

What I'm saying is, my family has done nothing to deserve this.
 
Fuck I hate my brother. Hate. He went to Australia for a year on a working Visa, but came back after only three months. At first he claimed he was unable to find work, but then it came out that he simply refused any job that wasn't a high-paying construction job. Later he said he came home because, quote "It was boring and I hated everyone I met." He spent most of his time inside a hostel reading books on modern warfare and watching sitcoms on his netbook. Things he could've done here. So after returning home, he starts drinking again (well I'm sure he was doing that in Australia), and burns through 2 bottles of my parents rum in as many nights and stole some of my tequila. Every night he gets drunk with his friends, always forgets his keys and wakes up my mom at 3 or 4 in the morning to have her unlock the door. I would rather he woke me up/called my cell but of course he doesn't have his own cellphone anymore, and the preparation it would take to call me from his friends' house is too much thinking. While drunk, every emotion of his is pushed to the extreme, especially when it comes to his topic of choice: War.

He would love to join the military. Not for any noble or patriotic reasons but because he wants to know how to fuck shit up and he knows after he finishes his 'special forces training' (bear in mind he's not even in the military yet) he will join a private military contractor and go around saving the world from the scourges of Somalia et al because he knows better than everyone else. Because he is so intimately familiar with war and the military, if you say something that suggests you aren't SUPER AWESOME GUNG HO FOR KILLING THOSE SOMALIS then Sam flies off the handle, screams, swears, belittles you, storms outside for a cigarette, storms back inside and punches a hole in the wall of his room.

Some nights, of course, it's better emotions that are exaggerated. Maybe he's super funny, or sad and vulnerable, or just happy, but most of the time he's angry and unable to control it.

I wouldn't be so goddamn furious if he didn't treat everyone like such crap. He stays out until the sun comes up, wakes up grumpy (But "not hungover, I don't get hungover") and refuses to do anything around the house (he's unemployed as he just returned last week and I don't know where his cash is coming from...) for my parents to help out, even insinuating that it's unfair for them to even ask.

Fuck he's such a useless shit.
 
Damnit.

Background: My girlfriend had a lot of problems before we met. Depression, anxiety, etc. Because of that, she did homebound school for a while. However, she fought depression successfully, and her anxiety attacks seemed to disappear, mostly. She was still nervous when going into large crowds, but she seemed in all respects happy again.

This year she went back to school, because it's her senior year. Today she got another anxiety attack ): I feel terrible, because she's half a world away and I can't really help her because I'm stuck here.
 
I

Iaculus

My grandmother died today, after several years of worsening Alzheimer's and other complications. I won't call it a mercy because ideally, merciful deaths don't involve you slowly losing your faculties until you're bedridden, in constant pain, and only capable of rudimentary speech and movement in the first place.

So yeah.
 

Dave

Staff member
Good thoughts your way, buddy. My grandmother died of the same thing so I know where you are coming from.
 
Good thoughts and feelings your way Iaculus, my wife's grandmother passed the same way. Alzheimer's is a terrible, terrible disease.
 
Another update about my dad for those who are interested


He got out of the hospital on Friday night but they are still unsure why he had the seizure (actually they are not sure if it was a seizure they said it could have been a stroke) There best guess so far is that it could have been one of his medicines. They said the CT scan was inconclusive and there was some mixed views on the MRI results (One doctor said he saw something one doctor said he didn't see anything) But he does seem to be doing better and they did put him on some anti seizure medicine but he is not allowed to drive for at least 6 months so he is not to happy about that. So that is the update for anyone who was still curious on what was going on.











and Iaculus you have my condolences for you and your family :(
 
Just got a $300+ ticket for cycling through a red light. I can't goddamn afford that. I barely even make that a week doing this shit courier job.

Christ, now I can't stop crying.
 
It was one of those intersections where there's a short period for pedestrians to walk both ways and diagonal. I go through them all the time, but incredibly slow and carefully (pedestrians always have the right of way in my eyes). Got through and there was a cop standing there waiting for me.

I fucking deserve it. I just don't know what to do. I'm not thinking very straight right now.

---------- Post added at 01:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 PM ----------

What's worse is some asshole stood and watched the whole thing. I broke down crying and the minute, the very minute the cop handed me the ticket, the asshole applauded and walked away.
 
Nick, you need to take the ticket to the... uh... mindfart... place that you pay it at (DMV?) and set it up to pay it on payments. They should do that for you.
That is a REALLY high fee, but think of it this way, you blew through a red light on a BICYCLE.
You are lucky to have your life.

I see bikers around here who wouldn't know a red light or stop sign if it smacked them in the face and it's not my life they are putting at serious risk, I'm in a well armored car, all they have is their fleshy self. Why bikers don't follow the rules of the road I will never know... but thats still a ridiculously high ticket.
Payments dude. Go get them.
 
Problem is, just to make even any kind of decent money couriering, I have to do stupid shit like this all the time. Otherwise, I don't get orders delivered quick enough to get another that isn't given to another courier or something.

Despite that, I'm only making $300 (if that) a week. Fuck, this might be enough to make me just quit, since it's only a week left.
 

Dave

Staff member
Just got a $300+ ticket for cycling through a red light. I can't goddamn afford that. I barely even make that a week doing this shit courier job.

Christ, now I can't stop crying.
Step 1: Calm down.
Step 2: Is there anything you can do to fight this? If not, go to step 3. If so, fight it and win.
Step 3: If you end up having to pay it, check with your court and let them know that $300 all at once is a hardship. If Canada is like the US they'll let you make payments.

It's not the kind of thing to get too stressed over. And yes, I've been that destitute before.
 

fade

Staff member
I got a bike ticket once. I thought it was the dumbest thing ever. I was on campus, too. I always felt those were bike havens. I let the officer know how stupid I thought it was, too.
 
E

Element 117

Did you kick him in the balls and scream, "'Hey Booboo' you, Yogi-bear motherfucker!"? Or is the story behind the incident another one that will Fade away?
 
I got a bike ticket once. I thought it was the dumbest thing ever. I was on campus, too. I always felt those were bike havens. I let the officer know how stupid I thought it was, too.
But see, thats the thing. You are a small, easily torn apart meat machine. Bubba is in a 2 ton pick up that will barely notice you being turned into a slushy under hit Hemi.

You will lose if you, like most bikers I know, decide the rules of the road should not apply to you. It's just simple science. Hence the tickets.
 
It was one of those intersections where there's a short period for pedestrians to walk both ways and diagonal. I go through them all the time, but incredibly slow and carefully (pedestrians always have the right of way in my eyes). Got through and there was a cop standing there waiting for me.

I fucking deserve it. I just don't know what to do. I'm not thinking very straight right now.

---------- Post added at 01:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 PM ----------

What's worse is some asshole stood and watched the whole thing. I broke down crying and the minute, the very minute the cop handed me the ticket, the asshole applauded and walked away.

FYI, if you are on a bicycle, you aren't considered a pedestrian in the eyes of the law.

You aren't supposed to even ride on the sidwalk. You're supposed to ride on the road, and obey the same laws the cars have to.

A friend of mine got hit and run over (It ran over her leg. Somehow, it didn't break any bones, but man was it ever bruised and swollen) on her bike, crossing during a WALK light, and was fined a $300 fine for riding on the sidewalk. Its balls because here, there is no bike lane, and transport trucks are constantly using the main roads here as a convenient way to get past build up on the highways to and from Toronto.

I still use the sidewalk, but I get off my bike and walk it accross during lights. I suggest you do the same if you're going to use the sidewalk.
 
I get off my bike and walk it accross during lights.
This. The nice thing about cycling is that if you have to go across during the red light, all way walk phase, you can do so as a pedestrian pushing a bike and it won't be much slower than riding the bike carefully through the masses.

Still, bike courier is a tough job, and the cops aren't going to give you a break. They should be able to set up a payment plan for you.

---------- Post added at 01:36 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:32 AM ----------

boy I sure love being fucking exhausted all day, and then when I finally get to go to bed, feeling wide awake

my life is awesome
I get that way whenever my brain and body are out of sync. If I haven't exercised at all, but sat in front of the computer dealing with difficult things then my body is restless. If I've worked outside all day on tedious chores, then my body is so exhausted but my brains going a million miles a minute.

For the latter problem, I usually play a few puzzle games (sudoku, kenken, etc) and it helps me go to sleep.

May not help you, but I hope you fall asleep soon and rest well.
 

fade

Staff member
Did you kick him in the balls and scream, "'Hey Booboo' you, Yogi-bear motherfucker!"? Or is the story behind the incident another one that will Fade away?
I rode on the wrong side of the road. In the bike lane. On campus. In a massive stream of other bikes doing the exact same thing. Guess which one got pulled over? The skinny long-haired guy. Gee wonder why. I think the shining moment was when I kept pointing out the other people doing the same thing as he wrote my ticket, and told him he really saved the world from an evil-doer today. Best 110 bucks I ever spent.

The reason for the massive stream of bikes including me? The other lane was closed for construction a little ways back (meaning I was required by his fellow cop to ride on the wrong side just before this), and the student union was half a block from the closed part. To not do what I was pulled over for required navigating out into auto traffic, crossing over a grass-diveded road, riding half a block, then crossing over the divider to get back to the union. And this dude (a bike cop) was sitting there waiting for someone.
 
So, I'm done with the job. I was only going to be working for less than another week, anyway (last official day was next Wednesday, the 31st).

My boss called me just now and asked what I wanted to do. He had another drive that could start tomorrow. I told him I think I'd like to be done. With the mood I'm in now, and how frigging careful I would be driving after this ticket, I doubt I'd even make much in the next week. I might be able to get a few extra hours at Blockbuster in the meantime. *crosses fingers*

That said, he was very empathetic. I told him - or more mumbled, given my depressive mood - that I have depression and he was very understanding about it. I apologized for being a likely bad driver/delivery guy. He just sent me a text after hour short conversation, too: "What type of driver you are is not as important as what type of person you are and you are a good person, Nick. Take care of yourself, first."

So, yeah, I think I'm going to follow that advice. Rather than be depressed and worried about biking all over the city, I'm going to at least try improving on my mood before school starts in a few weeks.
 
Fuuuuck. After I came back from Europe I forgot to change my phone plan (it was on a bare minimum service) so all the minutes and texts I sent added up to $136. Ouch. I feel stupid.
 
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