Alternate for Valve: See those mountains? There's only two of them.
Random Video Game Crap
- Thread starter Frank
- Start date
Digital Homicide: Hey, see those mountains? They're asset flips, but we put tens of thousands of code into the game so you can see them. Worship us.
Gamer: Uh, yeah, these are pretty terrible mountains and don't really fit with the rest of the terrain. Plus, I just clipped right through them.
DH: FUCK YOU YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME. WE'LL SUE YOU FOR SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT OUR MOUNTAINS.
Gamer: Uh, yeah, these are pretty terrible mountains and don't really fit with the rest of the terrain. Plus, I just clipped right through them.
DH: FUCK YOU YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME. WE'LL SUE YOU FOR SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT OUR MOUNTAINS.
figmentPez
Staff member
Nintendo: That mountain is the pile of money we made off of Pokemon. That mountain is the money we made from Mario. That mountain....
GasBandit
Staff member
More like "We make our money by putting hats on mountains we modeled 10 years ago."[DOUBLEPOST=1488928793,1488928687][/DOUBLEPOST]
Unknown Worlds: See those mountains? Actually, wait, the mountains won't load until you're about five feet away. Okay, there you go. Now, see those mountains? They're actually underwater. Also they hide deep, terrible, untold secrets. Also don't get too close otherwise your game will crash.
Volition: See those mountains? You're now riding down the side of the mountain on a velociraptor while Kanye's Power plays in the background, and UFOs hover in the sky, and the UFOs are making gang signs.
Volition: See those mountains? You're now riding down the side of the mountain on a velociraptor while Kanye's Power plays in the background, and UFOs hover in the sky, and the UFOs are making gang signs.
Hello Games: Our mountains are bigger than any other mountain you've ever seen before! No other developer could imagine these mountains! You can climb every part of it, any way you want, right to the peak! So many things can happen in these mountains! Everything and anything is possible! Deep, never-ending caves to explore! You can fight yetis! Meet other mountain climbers! Ski the slopes! Recreate Sylvester Stallone's Cliffhanger! Julie Andrews will personally show up to your house and sing The Hills are Alive while you trek up the mountain!
Consumers: Yeah, uh, this mountain is actually pretty dull. I can climb to the top, but it's long, arduous, boring, and when I reach the peak, it just shoots me all the way back down to the bottom. Literally nothing about this mountain is like you promised. Where's Sly? Where's Julie Andrews? Where are the yetis?
Hello Games: Oh! Yes. Well. Um. Hey, what's that over there?
Consumers: Yeah, uh, this mountain is actually pretty dull. I can climb to the top, but it's long, arduous, boring, and when I reach the peak, it just shoots me all the way back down to the bottom. Literally nothing about this mountain is like you promised. Where's Sly? Where's Julie Andrews? Where are the yetis?
Hello Games: Oh! Yes. Well. Um. Hey, what's that over there?
figmentPez
Staff member
Watching the chaos TFS causes in River City Ransom: Underground makes me shudder at the thought of playing with Terrik
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I know I've heard the name but I can't associate it with anything in particular.
Yeah, he's been that way for a few months. It's almost certainly the reason why he makes maybe one video a month now and why he's been having trouble with sponsor ship.
I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Maker Studios dropped him in the recent purge. Disney wouldn't want to be within 10 feet of him.
Youtuber who makes mildly amusing videos. He used to be part of Game Grumps too.
His biggest claim to fame is he USED to be on Game Grumps until Danny Avidan took over several years ago. It's sort of what made him on Youtube.
Oh shit, and because of that, he's now cemented in his opinion that that the Jews want to genocide him and his culture. I'm sure he'll be making videos with Sargon of Whatever or Thunderf33t soon enough.
JESUS, AND HE'S IRANIAN?!
WHAT THE FUCK?
All I know about Game Grumps is something about them crowdfunding a game, doing about half of it, then saying, "Yeah, we're done with this, fuck you, we're not refunding your money."
Edit: Fucking wow. Real class act there.
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Wasn't that Yogscast? Game Grumps haven't done a crowd funding thing to my knowledge.
GasBandit
Staff member
If you ask me, Jontron's best stuff came back before he was a Grump. His recent, post-Grump stuff feels... I dunno, overproduced? If that's a thing? I think the reason why they come out so infrequently is because now instead of a one man racket, he's now got cameramen and writers and editors and shit. The set and costume design for his recent star wars series was way too high production for the actual content being delivered. I miss the old days of his reviewing old obscure DOS games comedically.
I thought those were the same people for some reason.
Which is also why it came out MONTHS after it was supposed to. Remember though, Maker Studios (his production company) is owned by Disney, which is the main reason WHY he has all this production value and WHY he was able to do all the Star Wars stuff.
No, Game Grumps is Arin Hanson (Egoraptor) and Dan Avidan/Danny Sexbang from Ninja Sex Party, along with Arin's wife Suzanne Berhow and NSP's keyboardist Brian Wecht (who gave up a career as a theoretical physicist for Youtube stardom).
Yogscast is basically a brand at this point, with over a dozen channels of content. It's a different company with different people.
Jim Sterling did a review of the new Zelda. He gave it 7/10 and didn't see the same game that everyone was praising. Which, you know, is fair because that's how opinions work. He liked it, though, as a 7 would indicate.
Except his site has been DDOS'd and the barrage of comments he's getting range from "you did it for the clicks" to "Sony bought you." And of course, the ever classic, "Why not just do an OBJECTIVE review!"
Except his site has been DDOS'd and the barrage of comments he's getting range from "you did it for the clicks" to "Sony bought you." And of course, the ever classic, "Why not just do an OBJECTIVE review!"
