Movie News & Miscellany

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DAMN. I haven't seen Bob be this brutal with a movie in awhile. Sounds like it's all completely well deserved, but still! Brutal as fuck!

I looked up the plot summary, saw the big controversial twist, and now I no longer want to watch this movie. Why do prequels constantly need to shit on canon?
 
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What got me annoyed was one of the trailers pushing hard the "Find out Nagini's backstory!" angle.

WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT VOLDEMORT'S PET'S BACKSTORY IS? IT'S A FUCKING SNAKE!

Except now it's an Asian woman who literally becomes a white dude's pet and vessel for his seed, er, soul fragment.

Why would anyone think that was a good idea? I mean, if you REALLY have to tie it in, why not just have Voldemort have named his snake after her, instead of making them be the same creature?
MAD hate for the Nagini crap, the DUMBEST part of that is that JK Rowling says that her backstory is "the secret she's been hiding for 20 years". Either A.) She's lying and she made it up recently or B.) Her publishers told her to hide it because its the worst backstory ever imagined.
 
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I looked up the plot summary, saw the big controversial twist, and now I no longer want to watch this movie. Why do prequels constantly need to shit on canon?
From an article about said twist:

To buy into this twist, one of two things must be true: 1) we have to believe that Dumbledore knew about his orphaned brother’s existence, but didn’t care enough to try to rescue him from horrific physical and emotional abuse, which is highly out of character for him

Yes, because Harry Potter didn't get left with the Dursleys.
 
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How weird is it that it seems Warner Brother-I MEAN-JK Rowling created a WORSE prequel movie than George Lucas? I mean at least with Star Wars the Clone Wars supposedly TIED INTO the original trilogy, what the fuck does any of the new nonsense add to the "Wizarding World"?

AND WHILE WE'RE QUESTIONING THINGS-will Ezra Miller get a new agent after this? I am UTTERLY surprised to say this is a low point for him after Justice League but...there it is.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
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MAD hate for the Nagini crap, the DUMBEST part of that is that JK Rowling says that her backstory is "the secret she's been hiding for 20 years". Either A.) She's lying and she made it up recently or B.) Her publishers told her to hide it because its the worst backstory ever imagined.
The only thing I can think of is they were maybe trying to recreate the cult popularity success of that "Tales from Jabba's Palace" Star Wars EU short story about the rancor and its trainer. Problem is, that was a really well written story with a really interesting hook.
 
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How weird is it that it seems Warner Brother-I MEAN-JK Rowling created a WORSE prequel movie than George Lucas? I mean at least with Star Wars the Clone Wars supposedly TIED INTO the original trilogy, what the fuck does any of the new nonsense add to the "Wizarding World"?

AND WHILE WE'RE QUESTIONING THINGS-will Ezra Miller get a new agent after this? I am UTTERLY surprised to say this is a low point for him after Justice League but...there it is.
I thought Ezra Miller's low point was directing a movie about the murder of Michael Brown that sympathized with Darren Wilson, the officer who shot the teenager.
 
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I thought Ezra Miller's low point was directing a movie about the murder of Michael Brown that sympathized with Darren Wilson, the officer who shot the teenager.
*Uses serious Google-Fu* WOW-I had NO idea about that! Holy shit, yeah screw Ezra!

I emphasize google-fu, as SERIOUSLY its not on his IMDB page. He CLEARLY wants that shit erased but the INTERNET REMEMBERS!
 
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The only thing I can think of is they were maybe trying to recreate the cult popularity success of that "Tales from Jabba's Palace" Star Wars EU short story about the rancor and its trainer. Problem is, that was a really well written story with a really interesting hook.
That's the thing about the Star Wars EU - half of it was fucking brilliant, about a third was kind of tedious retreads of previous stories but with the author's star character in place of ones we'd actually enjoy, and the rest was screaming gibbering insanity.

And about 1/12th was Troy Denning's ryona fetish.
 
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So, I've been binging Star Trek like mad. Loving immersing myself in my favourite series of series. Then Red Letter Media puts out a re:View episode about The Motion Picture, which rules and people are too hard on. I love this movie, I don't give no shits. It's dull and weird and boring and I love it.

Good episode.

 
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The most common complaint I hear is, "It was too cerebral," and that there wasn't enough action to hold people's interest.

That complaint reminds me of a famous review of the original The Wizard of Oz:
It has dwarfs, music, technicolor, freak characters, and Judy Garland. It can't be expected to have a sense of humor as well — and as for the light touch of fantasy, it weighs like a pound of fruitcake soaking wet. Children will not object to it, especially as it is a thing of many interesting gadgets; but it will be delightful for children mostly to their mothers, and any kid tall enough to reach up to a ticket window will be found at the Tarzan film down the street.
--Patrick
 
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Cut the movie down to the 44 minute episode the script started as and I’d probably have enjoyed it a whole lot more.

Not the movies fault, but I’m still upset that they never bothered to tie the Borg to V’ger in some way.
 
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You have to understand, it wasn't the movie itself, but what it represented: a sci-fi franchise that was literally raised from the dead because of fan interest.

As someone who saw the film in theaters, I was elated to see these characters again after years of watching re-runs. And what they were wearing, how it looked, the whole premise was very futuristic (for the 1970's).

Yes, it's incredibly dated, and yes, there was a bit too much reliance on the special effects (and the whole thing with the transporter accident was just to appease NASA), but it was still, at its heart, a damn good story.
 
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They also point out that since it was made in response to Star Wars, to do something so turbo Star Trek in the face of pew pew space laser swashbuckling adventure where the only time the Enterprise fires a weapon is to shoot an asteroid during the wormhole accident is crazy.
 
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Cut the movie down to the 44 minute episode the script started as and I’d probably have enjoyed it a whole lot more.

Not the movies fault, but I’m still upset that they never bothered to tie the Borg to V’ger in some way.
Oh Shatner did: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Return_(Shatner_novel)

I've actually read that book. I can't remember how I got it, maybe a gift? But it wasn't crap. COMPLETELY out of anybody else's canon, but not a terrible book from what I remember.
 
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Star Trek IV is still one of my favorites, and that one also lacked action. But the first Star Trek movie never really stuck with me.
 
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I never liked the fanonical linking of the Borg and V'Ger.

If the Borg could turn an antiquated probe into a near godlike complex so powerful it creates an energy cloud 82 AU's in diameter surrounding it, they'd never need to assimilate shit to achieve perfection.
 
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It's actually supposed to be the other way around; V'Ger created the Borg to get information through assimilation, not the Borg creating V'Ger through assimilation.

However, THAT is non-canon as well; ST:Voyager had the Vaadwaur say they fought the Borg 900 years previously ("Dragon's Teeth"), so this couldn't possibly be true.

Star Trek Online has V'Ger looking Borg Bosses in the Borg Red Alert as a nod to all of this though.
 
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*SHUTTER* Look at his...his weird little hedgehog fingers! We gettin' UNCANNY VALLEY up in this!
I know, right? The overall design certainly isn't good, but something about his small, ungloved hands is really making me uncomfortable.

At this point, I almost feel the only saving grace for this movie would be if we get some prime scenery chewing from Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik.
 
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I was not prepared nor am I ok with the amount of muscle definition they've decided to portray him as having.

This is pretty earthshaking.

I think I need to go lie down.
 
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So what, exactly, is supposed to be the plot of Sonic? The games didn't have a plot, the tv shows didn't have a plot (ok, one tried to, at least, but it felt like it was just ripping off Star Wars).

*is produced by The Fast and the Furious*

Ok, so the plot is "go fast". Got it.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
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So what, exactly, is supposed to be the plot of Sonic? The games didn't have a plot, the tv shows didn't have a plot (ok, one tried to, at least, but it felt like it was just ripping off Star Wars).

*is produced by The Fast and the Furious*

Ok, so the plot is "go fast". Got it.
"Gotta go fast".
 

GasBandit

Staff member
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So what, exactly, is supposed to be the plot of Sonic? The games didn't have a plot, the tv shows didn't have a plot (ok, one tried to, at least, but it felt like it was just ripping off Star Wars).
Well, they managed to find SOMETHING to make an actually fairly-well-liked animated series out of...


"All those weird pictures of me?" SONIC KNOWS ABOUT DEVIANTART
 
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