I don't like it when he does that.
You guys may remember the tale of the Angry Google Translator I told before. If you don't recall, here's a recap:
Part 1:
The thing is, though, her performance in the test translation is actually kinda good. Some minor errors, but on the whole it's decent enough. But no, I'm not letting her back in here, not while I'm around. (gandalf_you_shall_not_pass.jpg.png.pdf.exe)
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
Bonus to part 3, mildly encrypted using ROT13:
And today we come to part 4. This particular translator was fired after that last incident, and we haven't given her any cases for over two years. Well, today I saw a familiar name in our online test translation system. Yes, it appears a certain someone has decided she wants to try again.
The thing is, though, her performance in the test translation is actually kinda good. Some minor errors, but on the whole it's decent enough. But no, I'm not letting her back in here, not while I'm around. (gandalf_you_shall_not_pass.jpg.png.pdf.exe)
The only part of a pig to escape the slaughter house is the squeal...
That's what apples are for...
FUCKING full moons!
GasBandit
Staff member
Amazon, Friday: "Order in the next 10 hours and get it sunday!"
Me, Friday: "Sunday, huh? Guess I better have it delivered to the house, then. Normally I have stuff delivered to work because I'm always goddamn there and I don't want packages sitting out."
...
Me, Sunday: "I think I'll check the package tracking..."
Amazon: "Transferred to USPS for final delivery. You'll have it by 8pm today!"
Me: "..."
Amazon: "...what?"
Me: "You goddamn imbecile. USPS DOESN'T DO THE THING ON SUNDAY. Why didn't you say you'd be sending it via USPS when I ordered? I'd have known there was no way in hell it'd get here sunday then! Fuckin' amazon. Now it's gonna get here MONDAY while I'm at WORK and it's gonna SIT OUT on the PORCH all god damn day where my degenerate neighbors can steal it."
Me, Friday: "Sunday, huh? Guess I better have it delivered to the house, then. Normally I have stuff delivered to work because I'm always goddamn there and I don't want packages sitting out."
...
Me, Sunday: "I think I'll check the package tracking..."
Amazon: "Transferred to USPS for final delivery. You'll have it by 8pm today!"
Me: "..."
Amazon: "...what?"
Me: "You goddamn imbecile. USPS DOESN'T DO THE THING ON SUNDAY. Why didn't you say you'd be sending it via USPS when I ordered? I'd have known there was no way in hell it'd get here sunday then! Fuckin' amazon. Now it's gonna get here MONDAY while I'm at WORK and it's gonna SIT OUT on the PORCH all god damn day where my degenerate neighbors can steal it."
You have more than one?
USPS does do the thing on Sundays for Amazon. I've had items arrive on Sundays before.Amazon, Friday: "Order in the next 10 hours and get it sunday!"
Me, Friday: "Sunday, huh? Guess I better have it delivered to the house, then. Normally I have stuff delivered to work because I'm always goddamn there and I don't want packages sitting out."
...
Me, Sunday: "I think I'll check the package tracking..."
Amazon: "Transferred to USPS for final delivery. You'll have it by 8pm today!"
Me: "..."
Amazon: "...what?"
Me: "You goddamn imbecile. USPS DOESN'T DO THE THING ON SUNDAY. Why didn't you say you'd be sending it via USPS when I ordered? I'd have known there was no way in hell it'd get here sunday then! Fuckin' amazon. Now it's gonna get here MONDAY while I'm at WORK and it's gonna SIT OUT on the PORCH all god damn day where my degenerate neighbors can steal it."
My order arrived today, and I am out in BFE.
I did not believe them either.
I did not believe them either.
Amazon has Sunday delivery through USPS. If they say it’ll get there it probably will. Check your mailbox if it’s small enough to fit in there, and beware that their Sunday delivery vehicles have a different schedule so it won’t come at your regular mail time. If it’s larger than your mailbox they’ll drop it off on your porch.
As a police officer, I'm sure he's been shown a full moon by plenty of people on plenty of occasions.
I'm kind of a Michael's regular and I thought I had seen everything there. But no...
Last week when I went in, a couple had a huge St. Bernard walking with them and her puppy in their cart. I went right over and before I could pet the dog, she head butted me so I guess she wanted me to. The puppy whined and then I was petting them both while I talked to their "parents". Both dogs were well behaved and super friendly. Neither were barking.
I went off and did my shopping and while in the line up, I could hear people complaining around me. When I got to the cash, the family with the dogs was there, and we spoke again. Once they left the store, every customer but me flipped out at the cashier helping them. Each cashier patiently told them that Michael's is a pet friendly store. That wasn't enough for anyone. Some were just loud, but the old lady next to me was all hands on hips, red in the face, and spitting while she yelled. What if she were severely allergic? It appears you aren't ma'am. What is she were terrified of dogs? It appear you aren't ma'am. If you can't be without your dogs for a $&@*%#¥ hour, you have mental issues etc.
What's wrong with people? The dogs hurt no one and we're better behaved than the customers screaming at the cashiers.
Last week when I went in, a couple had a huge St. Bernard walking with them and her puppy in their cart. I went right over and before I could pet the dog, she head butted me so I guess she wanted me to. The puppy whined and then I was petting them both while I talked to their "parents". Both dogs were well behaved and super friendly. Neither were barking.
I went off and did my shopping and while in the line up, I could hear people complaining around me. When I got to the cash, the family with the dogs was there, and we spoke again. Once they left the store, every customer but me flipped out at the cashier helping them. Each cashier patiently told them that Michael's is a pet friendly store. That wasn't enough for anyone. Some were just loud, but the old lady next to me was all hands on hips, red in the face, and spitting while she yelled. What if she were severely allergic? It appears you aren't ma'am. What is she were terrified of dogs? It appear you aren't ma'am. If you can't be without your dogs for a $&@*%#¥ hour, you have mental issues etc.
What's wrong with people? The dogs hurt no one and we're better behaved than the customers screaming at the cashiers.
GasBandit
Staff member
Well slap my mama and call me spanky, it did come today.
I get Sunday Amazon deliveries all the time. And yet my neighbors still look at me like I'm an idjit when I go out to the mailbox on a sunday afternoon. I got the Amazon app, you dorks. I know there's something in there before I head outside.
fade
Staff member
I've been out mowing the lawn when the Amazon Sunday delivery shows up. The person wasn't wearing a uniform, and the van was a plain, unmarked white Ford Transit Express. Naturally, this was a bit weird, so I researched it, and read somewhere that there are subcontractors who do the actual delivery.
I'm surprised this didn't make it into the regular rant thread. You must still have a healthy supply of spam on hand.
My biggest problem with Amazon not saying up front whether it will come UPS or USPS is that I don't receive USPS service at my house (too rural) but I do receive UPS service here. Anything coming via USPS has to come to my PO Box, which of course UPS cannot deliver to.Amazon, Friday: "Order in the next 10 hours and get it sunday!"
Me, Friday: "Sunday, huh? Guess I better have it delivered to the house, then. Normally I have stuff delivered to work because I'm always goddamn there and I don't want packages sitting out."
...
Me, Sunday: "I think I'll check the package tracking..."
Amazon: "Transferred to USPS for final delivery. You'll have it by 8pm today!"
Me: "..."
Amazon: "...what?"
Me: "You goddamn imbecile. USPS DOESN'T DO THE THING ON SUNDAY. Why didn't you say you'd be sending it via USPS when I ordered? I'd have known there was no way in hell it'd get here sunday then! Fuckin' amazon. Now it's gonna get here MONDAY while I'm at WORK and it's gonna SIT OUT on the PORCH all god damn day where my degenerate neighbors can steal it."
GasBandit
Staff member
Sooo we just had our big annual holiday toy drive, and from all indications, it has been an unmitigated clusterfuck. The receptionist and traffic director are out so I've been helping answer the phone while I work logs, and I've fielded at least a dozen calls from women who signed their kids up but the toys haven't gotten to them. I mean, I know we're ridiculously short-staffed, and the lady we put in charge of running the thing this year was the shortest of short timers with one foot out the door and was always a useless ditz to begin with but...
... oh hey, I think I found the fucking problem.
... oh hey, I think I found the fucking problem.
Here I am again, on a Sunday, in the office doing work. I have been coming into the office and working on Sundays for something like the last eight or ten weeks. Partly it's because I have a lot to do and I haven't been able to get it done on workdays. Partly it's because I'm a lazy bum and I haven't been getting my work properly done on workdays. The worst part is that coming in on the weekends never works out well because I always just sit here, unmotivated and working really slowly, until I shuffle off home in the evening.
Though coming in on Sundays does mean my wife can't drag me to church, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
Though coming in on Sundays does mean my wife can't drag me to church, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
Boss: "Hey Bhamv, since you're the head of your department and have additional duties now, we're looking to reduce your editing workload. The standard workload for editors is 8,000 words a day, but we're going to drop you down to 6,000 or less."
Me: "That's cool. Although looking at my case list, it appears I have 27,000 words due today."
Boss: "Huh. How about that."
Apparently I am more than 4x as awesome as I'm expected to be.
Me: "That's cool. Although looking at my case list, it appears I have 27,000 words due today."
Boss: "Huh. How about that."
Apparently I am more than 4x as awesome as I'm expected to be.
GasBandit
Staff member
Apparently back in 2010 their website got hacked and huge numbers of client credit cards were stolen. Maybe history is repeating itself.