BananaHands' Terrifying and Terrific Tinder Thread!

GasBandit

Staff member
How to monetize Tinder properly -



When in doubt, spam emojis. 60% of the time it works every time.



A tinder says what?



Well at least she's up front about it.


Gonna need a pic of said asshole first. To gauge hygiene.



Presentation is everything


A lady likes a man with humor and class.
 
"Hey Sis, you won't believe what just happened to me."
"Yeah? What?"
"This guy, well...[animated description of events goes here]"
"Omigod! That's my fetish! Do you think you could find him again?"
"Srsly? Well, I guess we are sisters, so..."

--Patrick
Wow... that Frozen sequel went in a weird direction.
 
I actually also use a Wayne's World quote on my OKC profile, which of course brings in exactly zero views but whatever.

So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.
 
I like the ending. Instead of being freaked out or going on some "no homo" bullshit, they laughed about it. Kudos to those guys for acting like adults.
 
I was thinking it'd be fun to have a "Haltinder" forum game. Take the avatar or a picture of a Halforumite and make a mock-up tinder profile for them (not to be actually posted on Tinder, naturally).
 

Dave

Staff member
I was thinking it'd be fun to have a "Haltinder" forum game. Take the avatar or a picture of a Halforumite and make a mock-up tinder profile for them (not to be actually posted on Tinder, naturally).
 
Ugh, I've known too many guys who have tried a variation of this: they sat they're broken up with girlfriend, go out with another girl and then tell the other girl that he and his girlfriend "have gotten back together". Most times the original girlfriend never knew she was "broken up with".
 
Ugh, I've known too many guys who have tried a variation of this: they sat they're broken up with girlfriend, go out with another girl and then tell the other girl that he and his girlfriend "have gotten back together". Most times the original girlfriend never knew she was "broken up with".
Well, yeah, but they usually first have sex :p
 
True, but I've also know friends who've had this done to them even without "teh sex". Still gross either way.
Oh, absolutely, the whole "testing the waters"/"keeping a toe in"/"keeping the skills alive" thing is skeevy and sleazy and yucky. I don't feel a need to keep my womanizing skills* up, I'm in a relationship and sincerely hope I'll never need them again.




*I don't actually have womanizing skills.
 
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GasBandit

Staff member
Hmm


I'm thinking "no."


Right to the point


Unrelated


How aggressive can it really be if you have to ask to do so?


Bleck.


What a save.


Probably no.


Psht, I can do that without going anywhere.


Actual Cannibal Shia LeDouche


This again


Negging alive and well


Lol no


The order of operations is kinda important on this one.


Sorry, this position requires at least 3 years experience.


Well cut it up and put it on a pizza then.
 
:facepalm:

You'd think some people would know better, but it's never a good idea to take your introduction cues from porn.
 
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