The Undisputed Unified Wrestling Thread

I firmly believe no PPV, not even WrestleMania, should be any longer than three hours. Four, MAYBE. Anything beyond that is just draining.
 
I'm done with the WWE I think. This Ashley Massarro business is simply deplorable.
 
In a brief searching, she had battled depression, so suicide really isn't something that isn't unfortunately uncommon.

https://www.wrestlinginc.com/news/2019/05/ashley-massaro-reportedly-found-hanging-in-apparent-suicide-654375/
I suspected as much. My disgust has to deal with her treatment by the WWE, which given her death has recently come to light.

During a Tribute to the Troops tour in Kuwait, she was drugged, raped and sodomized while on a US military base. Unable to keep up with the tour she was left behind. After returning to the states the WWE doctor noticed she was unwell, and upon promising her privacy she revealed what had occurred. The next day Vince and all the other senior WWE people had her endure a board meeting where they decided that she would just have to live with it as it would hurt the company to bring it forward to the police. She was offered the benefit of never having to go back to the middle east and that all female talent would travel with a staff buddy from that day forward on overseas trips.

This information comes from her sworn affidavit.
 
Ugh, I think I remember hearing about that and thinking, “This is real? This is a thing that happened?”
Because it sounds like the kind of thing that only happens in horror movies.

—Patrick
 
Yup. The whole thing was my reason when I cancelled my Network subscription. That and their continued involvement with Saudi Arabia. Fuck the WWE.

On a related note, AEW Double or Nothing was fucking awesome and I'm not surprised so much WWE talent wants out to go there. I can't believe how good Dustin vs Cody was and that ending after the match was the most real emotion I've felt watching wrestling since....Daniel Bryan at WM30 I guess? That HAD to have been sprung on Dustin without telling him, otherwise the emotion those two showed is the best acting, literally ever, in the history of wrestling.

The whole card was good. I was dreading the 6-person Japanese women's tag team match when I saw just how old and beaten and tired Aja Kong looked, and even that turned out top notch. If I had one or two major or minor complaints, it was the Cody/HHH throne spot, which is super fucking lame and I hope they knock that shit off forever and that too many of the matches went too long after where they logically feel like they should have ended. Too many false finishes. Damn it D-Lo.

I had no idea who the fucking Best Friends were but I remember Angelico from Lucha Underground and Evans from his nonsense with Teddy Hart. I expected Angelico to do some cool shit, but he looked like he was moving in slow motion and was just a spring board for Evans to bounce off of. Chuck Taylor won me the fuck over. I am dad-bod mad about his finisher getting kicked out of Best Friend love hug for life.

The ladies 4-way might be the worst match of the night because Nyla Rose and Awesome Kong did fuck all outside of the ring the entire time. I hate when 3+ person devolve into that and this the most extreme version of that.

Bucks and Lucha bros was fantastic and my only complaint was it going too long after it felt like it should have ended.

Kenny and Jericho was good too and I understand why it ended like it did. It was more to do Hang Man Page a favour than anything. He gets a big name match and Kenny and Deanoxley get to have a hecka battle.

The 6-Man with SCU vs some Chinese guys with German names at the beginning was a good curtain jerker and got the fans going for sure. Those Chinese fellas need to learn to sell, because they are DIRE at that.

MJF is a FUCKING star of a heel. Holy shit, he CRUSHED it on the mic at the belt unveiling. He corpsed Bret a bit and Bret is the sourest mother fucker to ever walk the Earth (and I fucking love Bret Hart, man is my hero forever, but I know he's a bitter somebitch). The belt is a bit gaudy, but at least it's not 4 of the exact same belt with a pallet swap or that GOD UGLY 24/7 belt WWE has.

All in all, it was an incredible first effort of a show and I am ALLLLLL IN with AEW.

for my @bhamv3 comment of the day, Brandi Rhodes is fucking gorgeous and Cody is a lucky man. Holy moly.
 
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Jon Moxley (Dean Ambrose) RIIIIIIIIIIPS into the WWE in an interview on Talk is Jericho.

https://omny.fm/shows/talk-is-jericho/the-emancipation-of-jon-moxley

I wouldn't worry about Renee either, she's been turning down major sports network offers for years. If the WWE (Vince) takes any shit out on her, she has options.

Jericho's ad breaks are fucking nearly intolerable.

JM: So, here I was heading into Vince's office...

/obvious cut to a later date when Jericho is recording ad breaks

CJ: Ha ha ha, Vince's office, how about Dippity Doo Brand Kitty Litter. I use it all the time. Dippity DOOO!

/obvious cut

JM: ....and you gotta wait around for hours.
 
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So, I've heard the opening licks to this song, maybe, I dunno, 1200 times in my life. Just a guestimate.

I had NO idea it had lyrics and was an actual song. I thought it was just dundundundundunnnadadunnadundundunnadunnadundunnnnadunadaaaaaah over and over and over again.

 

Zappit

Staff member
A Hell in the Cell match just ended in a DQ. It...it’s like WWE just hates their own product.
 
So, I've been digging AEW so far but one thing that constantly sticks in my craw is how bad everyone's theme music is. It's almost all shit. The only ones that are even remotely good are Hangman Page's and Kenny Omega's. The rest is all shit.
 

Zappit

Staff member
They did just hire Jim Johnston. Hopefully, the music will improve.
 
So, I've been digging AEW so far but one thing that constantly sticks in my craw is how bad everyone's theme music is. It's almost all shit. The only ones that are even remotely good are Hangman Page's and Kenny Omega's. The rest is all shit.
Kenny Omega is used to having a very heavy hand in his production and persona... like, he got Toby Fox to make him an intro and came out to the ring dressed liked someone from Dark Soul for Kingdom 13 in 2019, so it's not surprising his is good. The only guys I can imagine who've had such a... vision for what they wanted to put out are The New Day.
 
Just in case you needed any more reason to not watch WWE, after Crown Jewel yesterday, and this is heresay, apparently Vince had some sort of disagreement with the kind folks of Saudi Arabia. Vince, Brock and Hulk Hogan all got out on private jets and apparently 12 other talent were allowed to leave, but the rest are currently stuck in SA. Props to the talent who refused to go there, like Daniel Bryan and Kevin Owens (and Sami Zayn, who's not allowed to even enter SA because of his Syrian heritage).

There were a couple tweets from talent regretting ever going to SA, but they're gone now. There's been total radio silence since.

Look, there's tons of good wrestling out there right now with AEW and NWA that are SLIGHTLY less scummy than a company that's both embroiled with Trump's bullshit (Linda McMahon) and taking blood money from Saudi Arabia.
 
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The WWE is now calling it "mechanical issues". You don't go radio silent for 12 hours and have cryptic scared tweets by wrestlers that are quickly deleted for "mechanical issues".

I'm guess Kashogi had mechanical issues too keeping his limbs attached.
 
I'm slightly behind on my podcasts - only getting around to listening to the Podquisition from 31st October now. Jim is making his disgust at WWE for taking Saudi Arabia blood money clear, but the thing is this was recorded before this years Crown Jewel & I'm spending the whole time I'm listening to it thinking "Oh Jim Sterling from last week, my sweet summer child, you have no idea just what a shit show this is about to turn into".
 
The smallest top flight rikishi, Enho, versus one of the strongest, Tochinoshin. Even on a bad knee, it went about as you'd expect...
 
Still enjoying AEW myself. I'm glad they dropped the Nightmare Collective. It was awful. I literally never want to see that fucking Luther loser on anything ever again. Even though they always put on really good matches, I can't stand the Young Bucks and I think they have the worst tag team finisher of all time. I think they're finally starting to do some good stuff with the women's division and I like a lot of the new additions as well as Riho, Shida and Nyla. I'm loving the bad combo of Kenny and Cowboy. I'm into the Dark Order's weirdness. The Best Friends are the actual best. I love watching the Lucha Bros wrestle, but man, Ciero Meido should probably be done about 23 times less per match. We get it. No fear. If you don't watch AEW Dark on Youtube, there was one a couple weeks ago that had a match from the Jericruise that was filmed in that ECW fan cam style that featured Kenny and Riho versus Kip Sabian and Penelope Cruise that was fucking spectacular. Speaking of Kip and Penelope, I don't like Joey Janella. That's it. The Jurassic Express is also the actual best. Finally, Jon Moxley is a fucking superstar in the Stone Cold Steve Austin role and Jericho, even schlubby out of shape old Jericho, is a God damned Legend. Capital L. I love the Inner Circle.

I think that's it.

Oh, one more thing. Excalibur is an incredible commentator, but the part of the commentary team you would never have had me believe is Tony Schiavonne being 100% better than Jim Ross. Tony is so full of enthusiasm and love of the product that you forget that that's the way he was before the soul crushing days of WCW. Jim Ross is way after his best before date. He's a dottering old man now that is barely coherent. It's incredibly shocking that he's only a couple of years older than Tony.

Oh shit, double speaking of Tony, Britt Baker's shift from gormless, charisma vacuum baby face into one of the most vicious, hilarious, brutal heels has been incredible. She's so God damned good as an asshole.

I love being into wrestling again.
 
AEW Revolution tag team championship match might be one of the greatest wrestling matches I've ever seen. Young Bucks work for me 100% more as cocky entitled heels than they have been lately. Hangman Adam Page is going to be the guy for AEW eventually.

Cody's tattoo is maybe the worst decision of his life beating bringing his dog out into his pyro laden entrance. Word is Brandi hates it too, so what the fuck dude?

If you don't like Orange Cassidy's shtick, I've got bad news for you. You're wrong and have no friends.

Nyla Rose and Kris Statlander didn't have good chemistry and even though I still like both, they need more experienced hands to bring them to good matches. Statlander's handstand taunt of Nyla was gold. They were also fucking doomed going on right after that tag team match.

Jericho and Moxley put on the best brawling type match you can possibly put on. Especially given that Jericho's well past his prime. Still knows how to make a match good. Fucking knacker Moxley flicking his cut on camera to get it to bleed is something I hope someone gave him shit over.

Cody and MJF was ok. I'm glad MJF won, if for no other reason than I hate looking at Cody now because of that awful tattoo.

Hager and Dustin was fine too, nothing really special. Hager chewing his wife's face off to the chagrin of fat Jon Snow on camera made me laugh the fuck out loud. Having the babyface commit sexual assault on the heel's wife is awful and I wish they hadn't done it.



LOOK HOW SAD CHUBBY JON SNOW IS!

Sammy and Darby were fucking lunatics and their match was insane to watch. The coffin drop is up there with old school Jake the Snake DDT levels of over finisher.
 
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SPEAKING OF Jake the Snake. As much as I dig Brodie Lee, I don't see him as a head guy kind of guy. We'll see if he really has it in him to the face of an evil group. Now, those Jake vignettes with Lance Hoyt made me wish that the Exalted One ended up being Jake. He's still so fucking good at everything a pro-wrestler should be good at (save the actual wrestling part). Now that he's clean and going strong, I think it's fucking insane not to have him work with your guys creatively or some such at the very least.
 
Brodie Lee's exalted one being a Vince McMahon parody is both low rent and lame and the best thing ever at the same time.
 
Kairi Sane getting married in Japan, but still required to fly to Florida and wrestle in front of no one even though people might have been exposed to CV19 because apparently Miz is sick with it for probably the worst Wrestlemania ever is really something else. This show is unwatchable. Tag matches shouldn't be done in front of no one.
 
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