The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.

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One of my colleagues posted this today on Facebook, and I thought it was funny so figured I'd share:
"Going to seminary is, I think, a lot like going to culinary school - you learn the basic foundations, some cool party tricks, and by the end you can prepare a gourmet meal.
Pastoring, however, is waking up every day to a new episode of Chopped, where the ingredients are completely random and you're expected to do something with whatever you're handed while everyone watches and provides running commentary, and occasionally something explodes."

I have a sneaking suspicion this is true in other realms/professions too.
 
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One of my colleagues posted this today on Facebook, and I thought it was funny so figured I'd share:
"Going to seminary is, I think, a lot like going to culinary school - you learn the basic foundations, some cool party tricks, and by the end you can prepare a gourmet meal.
Pastoring, however, is waking up every day to a new episode of Chopped, where the ingredients are completely random and you're expected to do something with whatever you're handed while everyone watches and provides running commentary, and occasionally something explodes."

I have a sneaking suspicion this is true in other realms/professions too.
Programming degrees are a lot like going to culinary school and learning how to use 24 ingredients, 7 of which you'll never need, and 3 of which you'll never find in your local grocery store. And you'll somehow mostly make due with only 5 of them.
 
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So I'm making my daughter do the lion's share of the work on the cosplay she wants to do this year, because if there's one thing a teenager needs to learn, it's appreciation for the shit that gets done for her. I even told her I'm not going to work on the part that she can't do herself (which she probably could, but baby steps) until she does all the rest of it.

But what this ends up meaning is that she won't listen to me when I suggest easier ways to do things and so I'm just here gritting my teeth, rocking back and forth, and whispering "this is fine," as she does everything the hard way.
 

Dave

Staff member
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By the way, this is the EXACT intersection in my neighborhood this morning. This was taken several hours after I tried to go through and it's not even half of what I saw at 6 am.

 
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What I want to know is who managed to keep an ‘88 Buick LeSabre running this long, only to have it beaten up by a random hailstorm.

—Patrick
 

Dave

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Just got my annual review at work and scored a perfect 100%. Which is weird considering I watch Twitch and surf the web all day. But when you have 0 goals all you really have to do is show up to meet them.
 

Dave

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Means I get the full bonus on July 1. How much that is remains to be seen but last year was 11% and this year our enrollments are up like 150% and we're setting records.

Of course, they'll come up with some bullshit reason why they can't put that money into the employee profit sharing pool, but I know the numbers. I know how we're doing. If it's not 15% or more I'm going to be a tad upset.

For those who don't know what those percentages mean, that's a percentage of my annual wage as a bonus. Make $50K? 10% means your bonus - before the enormous taxes - is $5K. Taxes take like 37% so that $5K would be about $3150. Last year on my bonus check I paid $1475.41 in taxes. Oy.
 
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Means I get the full bonus on July 1. How much that is remains to be seen but last year was 11% and this year our enrollments are up like 150% and we're setting records.

Of course, they'll come up with some bullshit reason why they can't put that money into the employee profit sharing pool, but I know the numbers. I know how we're doing. If it's not 15% or more I'm going to be a tad upset.

For those who don't know what those percentages mean, that's a percentage of my annual wage as a bonus. Make $50K? 10% means your bonus - before the enormous taxes - is $5K. Taxes take like 37% so that $5K would be about $3150. Last year on my bonus check I paid $1475.41 in taxes. Oy.
My wife's job is the same for their bonuses. We were so excited for her bonus check and were stunned to see nearly half of it gone to taxes.
 
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I'll just give a friendly reminder that my normal paycheck taxes are about 46%, with a bunch of other stuff like social security added on top. On vacation or end-of-year bonusses, that ramps up. If it's a bonus based on performance, taxes are somewhere between 70 and 85%. With, again, some other stuff being added on top.
There's a reason nobody here has a high wage or bonusses but instead gets a car, laptop, power and internet compensation, second, third, fourth pensions, and all that sort of compensation - above a certain level it's just not worth it to get more money.
 
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Can you guess what important bit of information is not clear on my local high school's calendar of events?

If you guessed "Seniors last day is today, and not next week like it dsays on the calendar" then you guessed right. I just found out today that today was my son's last day of high school. Underclassmen go for another week.

He's got one non-mandatory all-day set of events Monday, and one 90 minute graduation practice the following Monday. But nowhere on the online calendar does it make it clear that he doesn't have to go back to school. There it is, in black and white: "Last day of school, June 7th". I called the school up to be sure, because he's known to get details wrong sometimes. But yup, it's true.
 
My tweet because I'm too lazy to write it all out again.

Reminds me of a problem we had with our server setup. Someone had turned on the verbose mode in the event log without thinking about it (note for non-techie people: that means EVERY event gets logged and I mean EVERY EVENT). We found this out when it was quickly running out of drive space and we found that when an event wrote to the log, it triggered the low space warning, which was then written to the log, which triggered the low space warning, which was written to the log, which triggered....
 
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Dad why is there chip dip in the mini fridge?

Well son, the reasons are two fold, the first is due to the economic adversity faced on our west coast because of our current trade war with China. The second is your mom is lazy.

Ha! Mom you got wrecked!
 
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Please pray for me. I'm stuck at a NASCAR race. I'm also out of alcohol with 279 laps to go.

How can something be so loud and so boring at the same time?! They're just driving in circles! Okay, triangles, but still!
 

GasBandit

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Please pray for me. I'm stuck at a NASCAR race. I'm also out of alcohol with 279 laps to go.

How can something be so loud and so boring at the same time?! They're just driving in circles! Okay, triangles, but still!
I've never actually been to a NASCAR race. You might now be more stereotypically southern than me.
 
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I've been to three NASCAR races, all before I was a teenager.

THEY SUCKED. They were loud, hot, boring, and lasted FOR FUCKING EVER.
 
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We had good seats right in front of the finish line, so we could see everything pretty well. Li'l Z was in heaven and his favorite racer won. But I'm making his father take him if this ever comes up again.
I've never actually been to a NASCAR race. You might now be more stereotypically southern than me.
Well, dadgum!
 
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Putting this in random since it's a mix of good/bad.

Being on reduced hours from work has its perks. An opportunity opened, I had a project that was just a bajillion notes from last year that I couldn't seem to turn into anything. But Wednesday, I started working on it because of that opportunity.

Now it's five days later, and I have a rough draft of a 110 page novella. AND that story is no longer nagging at my horrible, horrible brain.
 
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