The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.

[GasBandit]

Man dies after hitting bridge while doing TikTok dance on top of 18-wheeler - Dexerto

A Texas man died after hitting a bridge while doing a viral TikTok dance on top of an 18-wheeler as it zoomed down the highway.

www.dexerto.com

Tommy played piano like a kid out in the rain
Then he lost his leg in Dallas, he was dancing with a train
Then there was the ever-present football player rapist
They were all in love with dying, they were doing it in Texas

 

[PatrThom]

I'm not going to joke about this.
Stunt professionals and their crew(s) spend the time planning out their stunts specifically to avoid incidents like this. If you and/or your crew are not trained to anticipate and handle the risks associated with performing stunts like this one, then you should not be performing them.
And if you are someone who thinks, "Well, I've never had any problems so far," then I have a picture of a WWII airplane I want to show you.

--Patrick

 

[Frank]

Man dies after hitting bridge while doing TikTok dance on top of 18-wheeler - Dexerto

A Texas man died after hitting a bridge while doing a viral TikTok dance on top of an 18-wheeler as it zoomed down the highway.

www.dexerto.com

Tommy played piano like a kid out in the rain
Then he lost his leg in Dallas, he was dancing with a train
Then there was the ever-present football player rapist
They were all in love with dying, they were doing it in Texas

I feel like I shouldn't laugh, but those pictures are practically a Wile E Coyote storyboard.

 

[GasBandit]

I've been remotely trying to help a guy get a camera working for the last day or so. This morning, he sends me this:

 

[Celt Z]

 

[ThatNickGuy]

*gets a very irate customer who keeps snapping at me over anything I say*

Me: I understand you're upset, but I need you to calm down so we can discuss this.

Customer: Well, f%@# off.

Me: Thank you for calling. *ends call*

 

[bhamv3]

I have a childhood friend, a hot girl, with a very unusual name. For the sake of discussion, let's say it's Victoria von Woodencloset. We fell out of contact a couple of decades ago, though, so I don't know what she's up to these days.

I have a new coworker, a hot girl, with a remarkably similar name. For the sake of discussion, let's say it's Veronica de la Woodencloset. I've seen this new coworker, and she's not my childhood friend, but every time I see her name (eg when she sends a message on our internal messaging system) I get a sudden pang of excitement, then a couple of seconds later I go, "Aww."

The plot thickens... slightly.

My childhood friend, Victoria von Woodencloset, has a Facebook account but has not posted to it in literally years. However, other people can tag her in posts and photos. So given that @ThatNickGuy's suggestion made me want to track her down, I popped back onto Facebook and checked her profile. And I noticed that one post from a few years ago, in which she was tagged, also had my coworker Veronica de la Woodencloset tagged in it. As well as a bunch of other people with the name Woodencloset.

So it seems like they're actually part of the same family or clan or something like that, which explains the similarities in their names. So now I'm pondering whether to ask my new coworker whether she knows Victoria von Woodencloset.

(I want to emphasize here that "von Woodencloset" and "de la Woodencloset" are not their actual names, I'm just using them as an example, their real names are in Chinese.)

 

[drawn_inward]

*gets a very irate customer who keeps snapping at me over anything I say*

Me: I understand you're upset, but I need you to calm down so we can discuss this.

Customer: Well, f%@# off.

Me: Thank you for calling. *ends call*

I used to do inbound calls for directv. I learned that 95% of the people that called were either: angry, stupid, or luddites or a combination of the three.

 

[HCGLNS]

Blah blah blah toe beans!

 

[GasBandit]

You know, one of the biggest lies my teachers ever told me was "Girls don't like it when you pull their hair."

 

[chris]

You know, one of the biggest lies my teachers ever told me was "Girls don't like it when you pull their hair."

I'm sure with the pull a push is required at the same time.

 

[Celt Z]

You know, one of the biggest lies my teachers ever told me was "Girls don't like it when you pull their hair."

Your teacher needed to add "... without their consent." to be correct.

 

[PatrThom]

(I want to emphasize here that "von Woodencloset" and "de la Woodencloset" are not their actual names, I'm just using them as an example, their real names are in Chinese.)

Oh sure, ruin the fantasy for the rest of us.

--Patrick

 

[evilmike]

"Why is your safe word 'recess'?"

 

[HCGLNS]

How many years old were you when you realised recess is just the teachers union mandated break?

 

[Tress]

How many years old were you when you realised recess is just the teachers union mandated break?

Nope. There are mountains of research showing that children need mental breaks during the day in order to retain new skills. Playing during recess is a very important part of learning and growing.

Besides, most teachers have to work during recess in one way or another.

 

[Sparhawk]

How many years old were you when you realised recess is just the teachers union mandated break?

Never, because it isn’t.

 

[Squidleybits]

Blah blah blah toe beans!

Excited blah!!!

 

[General Specific]

How many years old were you when you realised recess is just the teachers union mandated break?

Teachers need to eat lunch and go to the bathroom, too. Also, just because they are teachers does not mean they are exempt from the laws saying workers get breaks.

 

[drawn_inward]

The grapevine at work said there's a big announcement today from the CEO. Usually, these things spill out before, but this time all the talkers say they can't say anything. Hoping it's not terrible news.

 

[GasBandit]

It's FRIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

 

[bhamv3]

I distinctly remember receiving an email from my company's IT department last week regarding some new infosec regulations they're going to be enforcing. The new regulations include changing our passwords regularly, not putting work-related files on our desktops, and not connecting non-work-related devices such as our own smartphones and laptops, etc. I was working from home when this email came in, so I made a mental note to read it again and do the stuff on it when I got back into the office.

Except now that I'm back in the office, I can't find this email anywhere. It's not in my inbox, it's not in my spam folder, and it's not in my deleted folder.

Did I dream up a bunch of new IT regulations? Did someone hack my computer and delete this email? Does this mean it's too late for me to do these information security measures, because my computer's been compromised already, it's too late for me, you guys go on without me?

 

[PatrThom]

Perhaps, if you proactively adopt these policies, you will receive a commendation for being so security-minded, inspire them to adopt them company-wide, and ultimately discover that you will receive this email in the future.

--Patrick

 

[bhamv3]

I would, except I don't remember them.

Also, if I did dream them, how do I know if they're actually good security practices? Does it matter if I have work-related files on my desktop? Am I not allowed to bring my smartphone at all, or am I just banned from connecting it to the company wifi? Also I vaguely seem to recall the email said something about my screen saver? Are my screen saver choices relevant to security?

 

[PatrThom]

Every one of these are good practices. Changing passwords regularly can frustrate shoulder surfers. Yes, keeping files locally rather than leaving them on a network share can matter. Probably enough to not connect personal devices to company WiFi. Screen saver should usually be set to activate after a short period rather than a long one, and to ensure it requires a password to wake once the screen saver has kicked in.

--Patrick

 

[GasBandit]

Changing passwords regularly

Changing your password regularly is a terrible idea, and here's why

Forcing users to think up new passwords too often could make you less secure, not more.

www.zdnet.com

 

[mikerc]

Did someone hack my computer and delete this email?

Uhh...no? Definitely not. I would never...I mean why would anyone do such a thing?

Dammit why did I think his porn stash would be on his work computer. He's a perv but not an irresponsible one. I didn't need to delete those emails either.

 

[PatrThom]

Changing your password regularly is a terrible idea, and here's why

Forcing users to think up new passwords too often could make you less secure, not more.

www.zdnet.com

I was actually going to mention this, but didn't want to get too far into the weeds. That is why I specifically said it can thwart shoulder surfers rather than being a good overall strategy.

--Patrick

 

[ThatNickGuy]

Not sure where else to put this. My ex is trying to raise funds for surgery for her cat. If I wasn't working out my own debt, I'd help. If anyone can spare something, it'd be much appreciated.

Help Me Save My Baby, organized by Kitara Brown

My name is Kitara and I have three cats that I love very much. My oldest girl, Booter, has a tumor o… Kitara Brown needs your support for Help Me Save My Baby

www.gofundme.com

 

[Dave]

I'm trying but the GoFundMe isn't going through. I'll try again Friday just in case. (I get paid Friday and am a bit strapped until then).

edit: Got it.

 

[Dave]

Fan-FUCKING-tastic!

Pascrell Shares "Explosive" Ticketmaster Report Alleging Abuses

Longtime Ticketmaster/Live Nation critic Rep. Bill Pascrell (D-NJ) has shared an "explosive" previously suppressed study of the entertainment giant's

www.ticketnews.com

 

[GasBandit]

My GF has replaced most of the cheap plastic handsoap dispensers I've been refilling for years with fancier ones. Naturally these new ones came with their own soap the first time, and they have similarly fancy names/smells.

The one in the kitchen is "Lemon Verbena."

My internet-poisoned brain keeps seeing "Lemon Verguba."

 

[Celt Z]

My GF has replaced most of the cheap plastic handsoap dispensers I've been refilling for years with fancier ones. Naturally these new ones came with their own soap the first time, and they have similarly fancy names/smells.

The one in the kitchen is "Lemon Verbena."

My internet-poisoned brain keeps seeing "Lemon Verguba."

Well, you are putting it on your hand.

 

[ThatNickGuy]

Something I never expected I'd have to yell at a kitten:

"No, stop attacking my butt!"

Context: I was laying on my side on my bed and Ruff decided to nuzzle up behind me. And suddenly decided my butt was the enemy for absolutely no reason.

 

[Sparhawk]

Something I never expected I'd have to yell at a kitten:

"No, stop attacking my butt!"

Context: I was laying on my side on my bed and Ruff decided to nuzzle up behind me. And suddenly decided my butt was the enemy for absolutely no reason.

No reason? You don’t consider that fart to be “no reason”?