The Quadrennial Winter Sporting Festival Thread

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I'm looking forward to our ragtag group of nobodies and has-beens taking on the big, bad Russians non-affiliated olympic hockey team.
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Go [FIND User:COUNTRY]! I know you can beat [FIND User:RIVALCOUNTRY]! They don't stand a chance in [FIND User:RELIGION; SUB User:RELIGIONBADPLACE] of [FIND User:CULTURALREFERNCE]!
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Nathan Chen did not do well at the Team Figure Skating event. I hope he can shake it off for the individual competition later on.