The EPIC WIN Thread 3: SON OF EPIC

Dave

Staff member
This is kind of a minor epic win but the more I think about it the more epic it becomes.

Driving home tonight I hit a stretch of highway where the lane I was in merges with another. You have no choice but to merge or you'll be forced to exit. I had room to merge but then this chick in a new car sped up to try and block me (she was in the lane into which I was merging). So having an old dented car I merged anyway. Fuck her.

She. Went. Nuts.

Screaming, flipping me off, swerving all over the place trying to get around me (presumably to cut me off). It was amazing. So what I I do? I laughed. Right at her. I looked her right in the eyes and lifted back my head in laughter. She started ranting and hitting her dash - still swerving, but traffic was too thick for her to pass. Finally, she was able to zoom around me and I just KNEW she was going to slam on her brakes, which she did. But I'd already signaled a left turn and then turned right and went right around her, still laughing. She tried to zoom around me again but I exited before she could.

Somewhere in Omaha there is a woman who is chewing the leather off her steering wheel and I'm still just laughing.
 

fade

Staff member
I hate when people will not let you in. I've posted this on FB before, and have had people I consider good friends act like I had three heads. See, they're all the woman in your scenario, and they all proudly maintain that they're in the right since they were there first.
 
I had a woman in a van the same size as mine try to pull on to the on ramp beside me and refuse to accelerate or decelerate to merge, then decide that I was the problem even though I needed to leave on the next exit. there was ample room before and after me but she didn't want those spots. If she has sped up to go in front I wouldn't have minded and would have slowed to make more space, but to pull window to window beside somebody yelling because they wouldn't let you in is ridiculous in my books.

I am not sure how I could have handled that one differently.
 

Dave

Staff member
I hate when people will not let you in. I've posted this on FB before, and have had people I consider good friends act like I had three heads. See, they're all the woman in your scenario, and they all proudly maintain that they're in the right since they were there first.
She didn't just "not let me in" she sped up to close the gap so I couldn't merge. Had I braked it might have been really difficult to get over because of the exit. I mean, I wasn't racing through construction to get around people, I was merging with the flow.
 

fade

Staff member
She didn't just "not let me in" she sped up to close the gap so I couldn't merge. Had I braked it might have been really difficult to get over because of the exit. I mean, I wasn't racing through construction to get around people, I was merging with the flow.
I understood the scenario--the people I'm talking about would still totally agree with her.
 
I had a guy go off on me once because my bumper dinked his when I parked in front of a gas pump, and not even hard enough that I noticed. He first went off on my wife (who was still sitting in the car while I went in to pay), and she came in to the store to let me know about the upset man outside. She wasn't kidding, either. He sounded like he was practically on the verge of suing me for...I don't know what, vehicular inappropriate touching? None of use could believe it. I just assume it was the absolute last straw in the worst day of his life or something.

--Patrick
 
Meanwhile, in Colorado, I will even slow down if safe to do so if I am in the lane closest to the merge lane, and the people merging still can't manage to accelerate to highway speeds to get in front of me. [emoji14]
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Meanwhile, in Colorado, I will even slow down if safe to do so if I am in the lane closest to the merge lane, and the people merging still can't manage to accelerate to highway speeds to get in front of me. [emoji14]
That's because of all the californians there.

If you want real traffic bedlam, I offer Albuquerque. The lines are just suggestions and the signs don't really mean anything. It's practically Italy.
 
We drove to visit our parents this summer, and I'm telling you, all of this namby pamby driving in Colorado has made me soft.
 
I was once being blocked and didnt have much time to get over, so I cut the guy off. He ended up following me into the parking lot to flip me off, throw a water bottle at my car and drive away.
 
What are you talking about? All of the exits give you at least 2 seconds to get from 15 to 55 in the next lane!

Although this incident was on a pretty normal road, so no excuse there. Just don't be an asshole and block people.
 
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Meanwhile, in Colorado, I will even slow down if safe to do so if I am in the lane closest to the merge lane, and the people merging still can't manage to accelerate to highway speeds to get in front of me.
I do this, or even move over a lane if there's room. It makes Mr. Z nuts, but I'd rather have my car undented than be "right".

What are you talking about? All of the exits give you at least 2 seconds to get from 15 to 55 in the next lane!
One of the many, many reasons to hate the Grand Central Parkway. Whoever designed that piece of crap never drove a day in his life.
 
Driving in Italy is dangerous. Being a pedestrian in Italy is taking your life into your own hands.
Italian driving really isn't that bad, and anyone who maintains it is has never driven in Brussels. We've won the "highest amount of roadworks", "worst condition of roads", "highest amount of traffic jams" AND "worst places to drive" awards all at the same time (some world wide, some European). Booyah! At least we're good at something!

(Foreigners don't notice as much because they stay on the UN-NATO-EU axis, which is the only bit anyone's bothered to keep in working order)
 

Dave

Staff member
This is kind of a different Epic Win.

Some of you have noticed that Emrys has not been seen since August 3. Some worried (as did I) so I sent her an email on August 27. No response.

Last night I got the following:

I'm doing better, cheri. Thank you for asking. Please tell everyone I'm thinking about them and will be back soon.
Epic. Win.
 
This is kind of a different Epic Win.

Some of you have noticed that Emrys has not been seen since August 3. Some worried (as did I) so I sent her an email on August 27. No response.

Last night I got the following:



Epic. Win.
Just chatted with her on Facebook as well. She said to tell you all that she misses and loves you all as well, and will return soon to reign more terror and doomweasels upon the masses!
 
Just chatted with her on Facebook as well. She said to tell you all that she misses and loves you all as well, and will return soon to reign more terror and doomweasels upon the masses!
Wait, is she going to reign those doomweasels on us, or rain them down on us?
 
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