[Thread Game] Terrible Video Game Descriptions (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)

[bhamv3]

Okay look, I know I'm not exactly a paragon of virtue, what with my chosen line of work, but ripping out my eye is a bit much, don't you think?

 

[PatrThom]

Okay look, I know I'm not exactly a paragon of virtue, what with my chosen line of work, but ripping out my eye is a bit much, don't you think?

Spoiler: Statute of limitations or not it is still a spoiler

Thief?

--Patrick

 

[Shawn]

After I made my first appearance as a villain in my rival's second game on Gameboy, I became the "hero" in this sequel.

 

[GasBandit]

After I made my first appearance as a villain in my rival's second game on Gameboy, I became the "hero" in this sequel.

Warioland?

 

[Shawn]

Warioland?

Correct.[DOUBLEPOST=1378764919,1378764807][/DOUBLEPOST]Shooting the quickly descending monsters turns them into precious stones.

 

[GasBandit]

"In times of trouble, go with what you know."

 

[bhamv3]

"In times of trouble, go with what you know."

Scorched Earth.

Oh god the nostalgia. Firing up the Death's Head and nuking every other player on the map.

 

[GasBandit]

Scorched Earth.

Oh god the nostalgia. Firing up the Death's Head and nuking every other player on the map.

Invariably the biggest cluster-fucks (pun intended) in that game always came when my tank said "I wonder what THIS button does?"

 

[CrimsonSoul]

motorcycles and bunnies in a minefield.

 

[Yoshimickster]

motorcycles and bunnies in a minefield.

Full Throttle. Which because Disney ended Lucas Arts has even LESS chance of getting a damn sequel.

Go the extra mile to achieve every side-quests...get a lame reward.

 

[bhamv3]

Go the extra mile to achieve every side-quests...get a lame reward.

75% of all Steam achievement-enabled games.

 

[Yoshimickster]

Nope! Let me replace side quest with missions.

 

[bhamv3]

Nope! Let me replace side quest with missions.

My answer remains the same.

 

[Shawn]

We couldn't think of any new enemies for this non Mario Bros related sequel, so we just threw in a bunch from Mario Bros 3.

 

[bhamv3]

Is this a shooting game or a driving game? Is it for two players or three players? I just can't decide!

 

[GasBandit]

Is this a shooting game or a driving game? Is it for two players or three players? I just can't decide!

Lucky and Wild?

 

[PatrThom]

Ok, I'll try one.
"Hey, Bucko. Go play on the steps."
"You're making me very unhappy."
"That was no accident!"

It's been a month, so time for the reveal.
This was Funhouse, and before you say, "Hey! That's a pinball machine, not a video game!" well...you'd be wrong.

--Patrick

 

[bhamv3]

Lucky and Wild?

Yep! So many fun nostalgic memories of three player mayhem. I was always the driver though.

 

[bhamv3]

In this game, given the choice between hitting someone with a lightsaber and hitting them with a baseball bat, players will choose the baseball bat nine times out of ten.

 

[Shawn]

In this game, given the choice between hitting someone with a lightsaber and hitting them with a baseball bat, players will choose the baseball bat nine times out of ten.

Smash Bros[DOUBLEPOST=1379998607,1379998260][/DOUBLEPOST]You're a robber. Don't let the cop get you until you navigate the complicated warehouse. Course... you won't really know those details unless you saw the cover of the game.

 

[Frank]

See, I would have guess Saints Row for Bhamv3's game.

 

[Shawn]

See, I would have guess Saints Row for Bhamv3's game.

Could it apply to both?

 

[bhamv3]

I had Smash Bros in mind. Is there a lightsaber in Saints Row? The fourth game I presume?

 

[Krisken]

Smash Bros[DOUBLEPOST=1379998607,1379998260][/DOUBLEPOST]You're a robber. Don't let the cop get you until you navigate the complicated warehouse. Course... you won't really know those details unless you saw the cover of the game.

Wait, are you talking about the Atari game Maze Craze?

 

[PatrThom]

You're a robber. Don't let the cop get you until you navigate the complicated warehouse. Course... you won't really know those details unless you saw the cover of the game.

Lock N Chase?

--Patrick

 

[Krisken]

It's the warehouse which makes me think Maze Craze.

 

[Shawn]

Spoiler

It's the warehouse which makes me think Maze Craze.

You got it. I was always very interested in playing that game, completely based on the cover. I mean the game was fun too. It was essentially just trying to navigate a maze before the second player was able to catch you. But just the thought of it being a cops and robbers game made it 10 x more enjoyable.

 

[Krisken]

Oh boy, gotta come up with one! I played the hell out of that game and probably still would if I hadn't given away my Atari years ago.

Four kings in four corners protected by their castles, though a destructive weapon is set loose which can destroy them. You are a knight who protects one of these castles with your shield. Protect your king until he is the last left standing.

 

[PatrThom]

Oh boy, gotta come up with one! I played the hell out of that game and probably still would if I hadn't given away my Atari years ago.

Four kings in four corners protected by their castles, though a destructive weapon is set loose which can destroy them. You are a knight who protects one of these castles with your shield. Protect your king until he is the last left standing.

Warlords!

--Patrick

 

[Krisken]

Yup, that's it. Guess I made it too easy

 

[GasBandit]

This one might be tougher... BURY THE FRUIT BEFORE IT KILLS YOU

 

[Shawn]

In this simulator you don't get your Sims until they are dead.[DOUBLEPOST=1380133938,1380133890][/DOUBLEPOST]

This one might be tougher... BURY THE FRUIT BEFORE IT KILLS YOU

Animal Crossing?

 

[GasBandit]

Animal Crossing?

No, it's very very old school, in keeping with the recent atari posts. But not necessarily atari.

 

[CrimsonSoul]

In this simulator you don't get your Sims until they are dead.[DOUBLEPOST=1380133938,1380133890][/DOUBLEPOST]
Animal Crossing?

Oh man it was that heaven and hell sim game in hell you could make strip clubs n shit. I always wanted to play that game but never did... Now to google the name

Afterlife!

 

[Shawn]

Oh man it was that heaven and hell sim game in hell you could make strip clubs n shit. I always wanted to play that game but never did... Now to google the name

Afterlife!

I quite enjoyed it, but like most sims I was never really that great at it. It was complicated because not only did you have to please everyone in Heaven, you had to do the exact opposite of everything to torment people in hell. For example in Heaven you want their virtues to all be very close so they don't have to walk too far from the front gates. In hell you want them to travel really far, so you have to build long complicated roads to everything.