[Movies] Talk about the last movie you saw 2: Electric Threadaloo
- Thread starter Dave
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Wow, so Alien Covenant? Probably one of the worst movies I've seen in I don't know how long. It's dull, uninteresting, badly paced, horribly shot action sequences, and some of the laughably dumbest characters I've seen since...well, Prometheus.
Seriously, the only entertaining part for me was when two characters took pratfalls within minutes of each other. It should've been this super-intense, scary moment, but I burst out laughing right there in the theater. The rest was just a mess. In fact, I was so bored, I kept dozing off. And even the stuff I was awake for, I barely remember.
In all my time going to the theater, I don't think I've ever felt compelled to just walk out. The only reason I didn't here is because I kept dozing off.
Let's put it this way: Alien Resurrection was better than this garbage.
Seriously, the only entertaining part for me was when two characters took pratfalls within minutes of each other. It should've been this super-intense, scary moment, but I burst out laughing right there in the theater. The rest was just a mess. In fact, I was so bored, I kept dozing off. And even the stuff I was awake for, I barely remember.
In all my time going to the theater, I don't think I've ever felt compelled to just walk out. The only reason I didn't here is because I kept dozing off.
Let's put it this way: Alien Resurrection was better than this garbage.
You know how hard it is when someone has to tell a grandparent that they need to stop driving? Imagine Ridley Scott's grandkids having to tell him to stop making movies.
That's what I don't get. He also directed The Martian. And The Martian was amazing; my favourite movie of that year. It was non-stop compelling.
This? This was a giant pile of crap.
Maybe it's a studio interference thing? I know this went through CONSIDERABLE changes because originally, it was supposed to be more of a Prometheus sequel. Which, I mean, this is, but it's like it's trying to be a Prometheus sequel AND an Aliens movie and it fails miserably.
Funny enough, I only watched Prometheus once in theater. I didn't hate it, but if you asked me to remember anything about it? I'd draw a blank. So it didn't help going into this where the story and characters from Prometheus become important. I kept saying to myself, "Who was that?" or "Hold on, what actually happened at the end of Prometheus?" and I drew endless blanks.
Not to mention I hear a lot of praise from Michael Fassbender on this and I don't see it. Both characters he plays are dull, dull, dull. And yet the movie is obsessed with focusing on him. Of course, none of the other characters aren't interesting, either, so it's a lose-lose situation.
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GasBandit
Staff member
And worst of all, Rocket the cute little fox never shows up to save everybody!
It's got 72% on rotten tomatoes, and many reviews are fairly positive. I suspect this is a slightly more divisive movie than the normal pap studios serve the masses, and some will get a lot out of it while others won't. It's a risky thing for a director to do, catering to a smaller audience, but it's clear that some of the negative opinions/reviews are not universally shared.
I can't even fathom someone enjoying the movie honestly. It's a shit Alien movie and a shit Prometheus sequel. It takes a massive dump all over Prometheus (spoilers why so I won't go into it) and then has a rushed, lame Alien movie tacked onto it. Let alone how mind bogglingly stupid all the characters in the movie are.
Unbelievably stupid characters.
There's a God damn scene in the movie where Billy Crudup follows David into a scary, moist Alien egg cave and (paraphrased) the following exchange happens:
Billy: You're the devil.
David: Yup, now come and look at this scary looking egg. I SWEAR IT'S TOTALLY SAFE AND I HAVEN'T ALREADY PROVEN MYSELF UNTRUSTWORTHY SEVERAL TIMES OVER!
Billy: Ok. AHH! A MONSTER HAS ATTACHED ITSELF TO MY FACE! THIS WAS AN UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT!
Billy: You're the devil.
David: Yup, now come and look at this scary looking egg. I SWEAR IT'S TOTALLY SAFE AND I HAVEN'T ALREADY PROVEN MYSELF UNTRUSTWORTHY SEVERAL TIMES OVER!
Billy: Ok. AHH! A MONSTER HAS ATTACHED ITSELF TO MY FACE! THIS WAS AN UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT!
Unbelievably stupid characters.
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I laughed so hard when one character slipped on the blood. I laughed like I was suddenly in a comedy because it was just such an unbelievably stupid moment in what should've been a tense sequence.
And then they do it again not five minutes later with the idiot that rushed in with a gun! Who then proceeds to blow up the ship and herself by being relentlessly stupid.
And then they do it again not five minutes later with the idiot that rushed in with a gun! Who then proceeds to blow up the ship and herself by being relentlessly stupid.
I was honestly excited for Prometheus because I thought we'd get an interesting story behind the space jockey in Alien. But god, did that movie become a disaster to the Alien canon. This movie just made it worse.
"Oh look! The aliens exist because an android decided to play mad scientist!" Fuck off, Covenant.
All the interactions between Shaw and David are tossed in the trash and Shaw is killed offscreen. Also, David just genocides the entire Engineer race.
Ah. Yeah, I couldn't even remember how Prometheus ended. It was that forgettable for me. I watched some clips of it today and had actually forgotten about the giant squid monster that she got out via surgery. I couldn't even remember if David was mustache-twirling evil by the end.
Ridley Scott has at least two more movies planned before this new series catches up with the original Alien.
I think he's just punking us at this point. Originally, the plan was for an Alien prequel. Then beyond the scope of an Alien prequel. Then it was to be the Prometheus trilogy. And after ill reception for Prometheus, it's going to be its own quadrilogy.
All the while, both movies are essentially slasher films where the planet itself is Jason Vorhees. There hasn't been enough story to be worth a whole movie, let alone four.
To hell and back
As an adult animated comedy, more imaginative and clever than something like Nerdland BUT not something I would've payed money in a theater to see either...also had some PRETTY unfunny rape jokes in it, literally only one of them landed as being funny and that was primarily due to H.Jon Benjamin's deadpan style.
Also while the character and background designs were beautiful, it was overshadowed by how the sound editing sounded the exact same damn tone throughout the whole film, with barely any good musical accompaniment.
AND FINALLY-Mila Kunis has some...pretty lax acting range, there I said it. Sounded like Meg was talking most of the film.
As an adult animated comedy, more imaginative and clever than something like Nerdland BUT not something I would've payed money in a theater to see either...also had some PRETTY unfunny rape jokes in it, literally only one of them landed as being funny and that was primarily due to H.Jon Benjamin's deadpan style.
Also while the character and background designs were beautiful, it was overshadowed by how the sound editing sounded the exact same damn tone throughout the whole film, with barely any good musical accompaniment.
AND FINALLY-Mila Kunis has some...pretty lax acting range, there I said it. Sounded like Meg was talking most of the film.
Finally saw Logan. I regret not seeing it in theaters now; people we know really hyped up the gore so I was concerned it'd be a problem for my wife, but turns out it was really just bloody. We've seen way gorier movies, so I guess the people we know are just sheltered when it comes to R movies.
In any case, it was an experience. Still processing a lot of it, so the starkest impression right now is that haunting yet beautiful and right final moment.
This should really be the final X-men movie outside Deadpool until the inevitable reboot someday, but that's not how the world works.
In any case, it was an experience. Still processing a lot of it, so the starkest impression right now is that haunting yet beautiful and right final moment.
This should really be the final X-men movie outside Deadpool until the inevitable reboot someday, but that's not how the world works.
Well, we're not getting one yet either way. Fox has decided their X-Men movies don't have a continuity; they're just this miasma of X-Men related stuff in which they sometimes tell stories, like making different recipes out of the same ingredient batch.
Which is probably fine; they can't keep their shit straight anyway, so why pretend?
Alien vs Predator was just a shitty sequel. The nice thing about shitty sequels is that they just try to stem off a good thing, and good things could still potentially exist further down the line.
The Prometheus lore invades into already great movies. Really, we never needed to know more about the Xenomorphs. That isn't what makes them interesting. I certainly thought it could be interesting, especially to see more corners of the Aliens universe, but instead it's just the Davidverse, where everything's coming up David.[DOUBLEPOST=1495856435,1495856335][/DOUBLEPOST]
Don't you remember those crucifixion depictions where Jesus was a 10-foot tall albino alien?
Me neither.
I watched Alien: Covenant. I should've listened to you guys. This movie is basically the BvS of the Alien franchise, in the sense that there were some decent moments, but the overall end product simply doesn't work.
I will say there were a few good things about this film. The cast were decent, especially Fassbender. The visuals were also fairly well done, though the switch to CGI xenomorphs, chestbursters, and facehuggers ironically made them less scary and memorable; the practical effects from Alien and Aliens gave them a more unsettling, otherwordly feel.
But so much else went wrong. The script showed the hallmarks of having gone through too many rewrites and revisions, with plot elements mentioned then dropped, or shoved haphazardly into the movie somehow. The characters all took turns humping the idiot ball, though the captain guy appeared to be having some sort of long-term love affair with it. It shits all over previous Alien lore, even if you disregard the AvP movies. And its own internal logic is all over the place (The alien-making black goo now turns people into charred corpses? Say what?)
Life was a better Alien film than this.
I will say there were a few good things about this film. The cast were decent, especially Fassbender. The visuals were also fairly well done, though the switch to CGI xenomorphs, chestbursters, and facehuggers ironically made them less scary and memorable; the practical effects from Alien and Aliens gave them a more unsettling, otherwordly feel.
But so much else went wrong. The script showed the hallmarks of having gone through too many rewrites and revisions, with plot elements mentioned then dropped, or shoved haphazardly into the movie somehow. The characters all took turns humping the idiot ball, though the captain guy appeared to be having some sort of long-term love affair with it. It shits all over previous Alien lore, even if you disregard the AvP movies. And its own internal logic is all over the place (The alien-making black goo now turns people into charred corpses? Say what?)
Life was a better Alien film than this.
fade
Staff member
Logan
It wasn't bad. Please read that sentence about 37 times before you read my complaints, because that's how the fade didn't like it thing always starts.
All of the x movies fail to make me invested in any of the characters. I just don't care about them. We're supposed to care about Laura and the other kids because what? They're kids? They give us nothing else. And Logan's adamantium poisoning. Okay. There's infodumping, but then there's telling us nothing, which is just as bad. What's the Westchester incident? Why are there comics? Why is Logan's limo the only car with future styling? Too little.
It was pretty. Nice cinematography and directing. Meh. I give it a c+. Maybe a b- with a curve.
It wasn't bad. Please read that sentence about 37 times before you read my complaints, because that's how the fade didn't like it thing always starts.
All of the x movies fail to make me invested in any of the characters. I just don't care about them. We're supposed to care about Laura and the other kids because what? They're kids? They give us nothing else. And Logan's adamantium poisoning. Okay. There's infodumping, but then there's telling us nothing, which is just as bad. What's the Westchester incident? Why are there comics? Why is Logan's limo the only car with future styling? Too little.
From all the discussion, i was expecting a sad ending. Okay the daddy thing was sweet, but then it was immediately ruined by the pointless Shane quote. And by the tacky, forced cross turn. And jeez why not telegraph x-24 from 47 miles away with the adamantium bullet. And why the hell would they stay with the farmer family? I mean they had to know the obvious was going to happen.
It was pretty. Nice cinematography and directing. Meh. I give it a c+. Maybe a b- with a curve.
Dave
Staff member
The limo wasn't the only futuristic vehicle. Did you see the driverless auto-semis? But most people will still be driving older cars, just like now. Logan stayed in low-economic areas and small towns for the most part. You won't see the newer vehicles there.
The kids? Why do we feel for the kids?!? Maybe because they were treated like fucking lab rats and experimented on, then systematically murdered when the x-24 was completed? Maybe?
Why did they stay with the family? Because both the girl and Charles wanted to feel normal again for a little bit. Plus they thought the tracker was dead so how would they have found them so fast?
Why the comics? Because the kids were based on mutant DNA, there were clues in them to take them North, and because kids love comics.
The Westchester incident was talked about, but only tangentially. It's where Charles killed a bunch of people because he couldn't control his brain any more. And yes, that information was in the movie.
Why did they stay with the family? Because both the girl and Charles wanted to feel normal again for a little bit. Plus they thought the tracker was dead so how would they have found them so fast?
Why the comics? Because the kids were based on mutant DNA, there were clues in them to take them North, and because kids love comics.
The Westchester incident was talked about, but only tangentially. It's where Charles killed a bunch of people because he couldn't control his brain any more. And yes, that information was in the movie.
fade
Staff member
1. Those are plot points, not character development. I still have no investment in these cardboard cutouts.
2. So that's worth inevitably killing a family? Logan knew the team was coming for them. It's why he wanted to leave, yet they stayed. Even without the tracker, they've already found Charles. Logan knew they would've found this family.
3. That doesn't answer why there were comics.
4. Yeah, I got that much. But what did it mean. See, it's the same issue over and over. All 4 of these points. There's no development to any of these ideas.
2. So that's worth inevitably killing a family? Logan knew the team was coming for them. It's why he wanted to leave, yet they stayed. Even without the tracker, they've already found Charles. Logan knew they would've found this family.
3. That doesn't answer why there were comics.
4. Yeah, I got that much. But what did it mean. See, it's the same issue over and over. All 4 of these points. There's no development to any of these ideas.
Westchester NY was where the school was. Xavier killed all the students and the X-men except Wolverine. It was originally the opening scene of the movie that drove the rest of it, but the director felt it was better implied than shown.
I actually think all of the things you didn't like are strengths of the movie. What is the Westchester incident? Long term fans of this series will know (Westchester is where the x mansion was, Xavier had a seizure and killed the x-men, you can hear that stated on the radio before Logan turns it off) but it isn't expanded upon because ultimately it doesn't matter. There's a side plot about Transigen killing off natural born mutants via gene therapy through corn syrup, but that doesn't matter either. Logan even shoots the guy half way through him monologuing. It's Logan's story that matters, and that there's a bigger story going on around makes the world feel alive, but to Logan it's just noise. Even the reavers and Transigen as a whole, they're just more assholes in a long line of assholes that have and always will exist.
They were comics because the people trying to lead the kids out of the country wanted to put the life saving information for them in a format that the kids would find and understand, while appearing normal to scrutiny. And it was common knowledge in the mutant community that the X-Men comics had at least a kernal of truth to them, as Logan himself pointed out when he mentions that X-23 shouldn't believe everything she reads in them.
And the Westchester stuff is based on the origins of the Old Man Logan comics, where it's Logan doing the killing thanks to Mysterio's illusions, not Professor X going senile.
And the Westchester stuff is based on the origins of the Old Man Logan comics, where it's Logan doing the killing thanks to Mysterio's illusions, not Professor X going senile.
Also, days of future past changed the timeline and revealed mutants and the x-men to the world in the 70's, so it makes sense that popular culture would make stories out of them.
It's also a way to imply that Logan takes place in a different world than the past movies, with stuff like x-men apocalypse basically being the cartoon version of what really happened
It's also a way to imply that Logan takes place in a different world than the past movies, with stuff like x-men apocalypse basically being the cartoon version of what really happened
