It does for me. Not in quotes, but it's OK in the original post.
Phew, I'm not the only one whose mind went straight there.
fade
Staff member
That's because I edited it, and used the WYSIWYG editor.
NERRRRDDDDDD!
Hey, that was the first episode to air. It was a landmark.
Sure you don't mean IU and not mg? Maximum daily dosage of D isn't supposed to exceed 100µg(4000IU), or 700µg/wk (28000IU).
--Patrick
Still not fixed
Grade my damn paper already!! AHHH!!
I'm just damned lonely and I feel it's mostly my fault. Blah.
To quote The Police: You're not alone in being alone.
When someone posts something stupid and racist, but still well within the boundaries of the law, no one has the right to form a mob to dox her and destroy her life. Calling her out on the stupid is one thing. Posting her work phone number and urging others to call and get her fired for something done outside of said work is another.
Finally decided to cut ties with such a toxic person. Mob justice is not social justice.
Finally decided to cut ties with such a toxic person. Mob justice is not social justice.
fade
Staff member
There's this trend lately that frankly irritates me. I see it even on that College Humor's everyday superhero picture making the rounds. It's this idea that the only way to be a "good" listener is to just shut up and not offer any solutions. I don't understand this. Why are you telling me something if you don't want help with it? It seems like the onus is on the teller to simply ignore the advice if they don't want it, and not to get indignant about it. Of you just want to unload, a) it's entirely possible the other person doesn't want that and b) that's against the norms of conversation. Because it's not a conversation anymore, it's you unloading. It seems like if you want to unload and not have any feedback, it's up to you, since you're attempting to break societal norms on conversation, to establish that contract with the other person first, not get angry about it afterwards.
figmentPez
Staff member
I'm also bothered by the fact that they seem to find fault with relating any sort of personal information of your own. I get that a lot of people tend to make every conversation about themselves, but it really sucks to just sit there talking to someone who only says "uh-huh... yes... and then?". Conveying small bits about how your own experience is influencing how you understand what is being told to you is an important part of listening. Even professional therapists will sometimes talk about their own experience while listening. If you just want someone to sit and nod, set up a camera and make a vlog. If you want someone to actually listen to you, be prepared for a conversation.
GasBandit
Staff member
For a lot of people it IS just "unloading," and they just want you to sympathize, not fix their problem. That little lesson, taught to me by Woody Harrelson and Rosie Perez in White Men Can't Jump in 1992 (when I was 13 years old), was later to become an important stabilizer in my admittedly imperfect relationship. They don't want a solution, they want feels.
fade
Staff member
I do get this, but I don't think that gives anyone the right to complain (or worse, get angry) when someone does offer an answer or a sympathetic anecdote, because that's normal conversation. Expecting someone to just sit there on their hands and say nothing is outside of convention, and if you want that you need to tell the other person first, or just ignore the inevitable advice/anecdotes.
GasBandit
Staff member
Oh, they expect you to say something. But what you say is expected to be things like "oh, how awful!" Your role here is to lament with them, not fix them. Though, later you can come back with the solution once the lament part is over, couched as a new conversation. I know it sounds unreasonable, but it's just how it works sometimes. You know how the old chestnut goes... "You can be right, or you can be happy."
We're heading back into "It's not about the nail" territory.
Frankly, if you don't want to talk about the nail, then you shouldn't open yourself up to the discussion by describing how much it is distressing you.
And if you do bring it up, you had better be ready for the other person to talk about it.
--Patrick
Frankly, if you don't want to talk about the nail, then you shouldn't open yourself up to the discussion by describing how much it is distressing you.
And if you do bring it up, you had better be ready for the other person to talk about it.
--Patrick
GasBandit
Staff member
You're trying to bring logic and convention into an area designated for emotions and mindgames.
GasBandit
Staff member
Well good luck to you. That was a windmill I decided was wayyyy too much trouble to tilt.
The secret is to pick your windmills.
I'm not saying that my skill at picking which windmill is anything spectacular, I'm just saying that's the secret.
--Patrick
Employee turnover in my team (IT technicians, think Tier 1.5-2.5) is about 60% over 12 months. The IT department, bless their hearts, put a hiring freeze in place so an outside agency can assess the department and tell us what we already know (need more budget, better tools, a servicedesk instead of a helpdesk, goddamn KBs...).
This means that when one of our level 3s left a few months back, the work got distributed to 3 of us, which has been a ride (police departments are surprisingly needy
). Now my coworker is quitting (effective next Monday) AND taking a paycut just so he can work somewhere less dysfunctional. This means that I'll effectively be trying to cover 135 man-hours of work (3 full-time workers and one 15hr/wk assistant) with 60 man-hours (me and a 20hr/wk assistant).
I've been denied any raises 3 times thus far, and maybe I'll get the level 2 position that my coworker is leaving (though our boss heavily implied I would not be considered for it due to my immigration status).
Did I mention that if I quit I lose my work visa?
On the bright side, I'm trying to get a better visa, which would allow me to GTFO, so there's that.
This means that when one of our level 3s left a few months back, the work got distributed to 3 of us, which has been a ride (police departments are surprisingly needy
). Now my coworker is quitting (effective next Monday) AND taking a paycut just so he can work somewhere less dysfunctional. This means that I'll effectively be trying to cover 135 man-hours of work (3 full-time workers and one 15hr/wk assistant) with 60 man-hours (me and a 20hr/wk assistant).I've been denied any raises 3 times thus far, and maybe I'll get the level 2 position that my coworker is leaving (though our boss heavily implied I would not be considered for it due to my immigration status).
Did I mention that if I quit I lose my work visa?
On the bright side, I'm trying to get a better visa, which would allow me to GTFO, so there's that.
If you're running out of storage space, adding a few kilobytes probably isn't going to help...
Two pounds of bacon isn't enough for problem-solving, it's a balanced breakfast.
....thanks, Obama!
