Gas Bandit's Political Thread V: The Vampire Likes Bats

I don't think Canada is going to use their oil money to fund state sponsored terrorists.
I dunno, there are a few Canadians whose reign of terror are well known in certain cities in the US. And the authorities seem to overlook much of their actions, only making them sit in a plexiglass booth for two to five minutes at a time...
 
@Eriol , simply put, it's a hockey reference and getting put into the penalty box for 2 to 5 minutes.
OK, though I've never associated the Sin Bin as a "plexiglass booth" but I should have gotten it from the "2 or 5" reference.

Though really, for anything really worthy of the description "reign of terror" is 10 minutes. Minimum. ;)
 
Well, there's this one guy who's been terrorizing the western Pennsylvania area for a while. And he has known connections with a member of the Russian Mafia! I mean, c'mon, the guy's nickname is "Geno", what do you THINK is going on there?
 
So, the Trump Train is looking to add disgraced General David Patraeus to its Legion of Supervillains. So in addition to having a National Security Advisor in the pay of other nations, we'll have a staff member who got busted for giving 200 classified documents to his mistress, who published some of them in her book about him.

I mean, it's not like there was a months long witch hunt over someone potentially mishandling classified information that become a cornerstone of the campaign or anything. In this case, Patraeus didn't potentially mishandle classified information, he outright fucking did it, was convicted, and was given a one-year suspended sentence. But I guess that's okay in Trumpistan, right?
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I just got an e-mail from Home Depot's ad agency, saying

PLEASE NOTE THAT IN LIGHT OF THE TRAGIC EVENTS YESTERDAY AT OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY, THE HOME DEPOT HAS ASKED ALL STATIONS THAT NO SPOTS THIS WEEK AIR ADJACENT TO NEWS COVERAGE OF THE INCIDENT.
your prompt attention is greatly appreciated
Thank you!
... I don't understand, does the home depot have a sale on cars and knives this week or something?
 
Ha ha ha ha, holy fucking shit.

The GALL of a UKIP member (the party that most heavily campaigned for the Brexit) asking for Ireland to access EU funds to pay for a road in Wales that leads to London. Everyone else in the room audibly laughs at the guy.

 
Also, anyone who has premarital sex will have to wear a scarlet letter.

We really just need an easy way of identifying/labeling people. Perhaps we can brand a red H on their forehead for premarital sex (for women, not worth noting for men, amirite?); tattoo a half moon next to it for Muslims and an A for atheists or other (nothing for Christians), a L G B T or Q (their choice, 'cause were progressive like that) for people of a weird sexual identity (nothing for straight), a big black C for those who've used cannabis (and a D for those who use other drugs, except cocaine and alcohol, those can go without). Hmmm....Maybe throw in a P for those who ever needed to apply for food stamps. It'll go a long way to identifying all those troublesome folks.
 
We really just need an easy way of identifying/labeling people. Perhaps we can brand a red H on their forehead for premarital sex (for women, not worth noting for men, amirite?); tattoo a half moon next to it for Muslims and an A for atheists or other (nothing for Christians), a L G B T or Q (their choice, 'cause were progressive like that) for people of a weird sexual identity (nothing for straight), a big black C for those who've used cannabis (and a D for those who use other drugs, except cocaine and alcohol, those can go without). Hmmm....Maybe throw in a P for those who ever needed to apply for food stamps. It'll go a long way to identifying all those troublesome folks.
Jesus Christ, that's barbaric.

Just append the appropriate trait to their RFID implant.
 
North Dakota's latest approach with the pipeline protestors will likely be the final one. Did you donate to their cause? Doesn't matter; authorities are blocking supplies from reaching them. New pipeline rule will be leave or starve.
 
Bringing supplies to the pipeline protestors will now net you a $1,000 fine. -_-


Not sure if that applies to the many veterans coming in to stand with the protestors.

Dakota police defend their shitty tactics, but assure there will be no confrontation with veterans--yeah, no shit. This will be peaceful until the veterans leave, and then back to the bullshit.

On Saturday, law enforcement officers said they held productive discussions with leaders of the veterans group. Police have agreed to retreat and move their militarized road blockade further away from the camp, so long as demonstrators agreed to keep their distance and stay off of private land in the area.
Oh that's rich.
 
On top of being, allegedly, a pedophile.
Is it alleged when he says on camera that he had sex with numerous underage girls? Or when he adopted a 17 year old so they could have sex without her parents' permission? Or when he released a song about raping a 13 year old girl and offering to share her with the policeman trying to arrest him?

Well, I don’t care if you’re just 13
You look too good to be true
I just know that you’re probably clean...
Jailbait you look fine, fine, fine...
It’s quite alright, I asked your mama
Wait a minute, officer
Don’t put those handcuffs on me
Put them on her, and I’ll share her with you
-- Jailbait, by Ted Nugent
 
Is it alleged when he says on camera that he had sex with numerous underage girls? Or when he adopted a 17 year old so they could have sex without her parents' permission? Or when he released a song about raping a 13 year old girl and offering to share her with the policeman trying to arrest him?

Well, I don’t care if you’re just 13
You look too good to be true
I just know that you’re probably clean...
Jailbait you look fine, fine, fine...
It’s quite alright, I asked your mama
Wait a minute, officer
Don’t put those handcuffs on me
Put them on her, and I’ll share her with you
-- Jailbait, by Ted Nugent
Jesus fucking Christ
 
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