Do you stand or sit when you wipe?

[Philosopher B.]

Are you sitters really picturing someone standing straight up and wiping? That's dumb.

Yeah, I'm not straight as a board into the sky with my butt cheeks clenching or something.

I normally didn't like standing when wiping until I figured out the perfect compromise - putting one foot on the seat whilst wiping. I call it \"The Washington\", because when I put my right foot on the seat I feel like I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware to sneak attack the Hessian troops...which is yet another way to associate shit with the German populace.

.

This is one of the best things I have ever read.

---------- Post added at 03:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

Also, because poop has been mentioned and therefore I have to post it:

 

[Philosopher B.]

You've never seen the poop race? It is made of awesome.

... and poop.

 

[ThatGrinningIdiot!]

Freud would have a field day with this thread.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

You've never seen the poop race? It is made of awesome.

... and poop.

ROFLMAO! I love the poop race! I found it last year, I think. I laughed so hard I was crying.

 

[Reboneer]

I normally didn't like standing when wiping until I figured out the perfect compromise - putting one foot on the seat whilst wiping. I call it "The Washington", because when I put my right foot on the seat I feel like I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware to sneak attack the Hessian troops...which is yet another way to associate shit with the German populace.

.

This right here is what I do... except I use the left foot rather than the right.

I also sometimes finish off standing.

 

[Hylian]

I'm a sitter and I can't imagine standing.

 

[Dieb]

Until a week ago, I had no idea people sat to wipe. Like, what if your hand touched the water, or, ummm, other things, when you were reaching around? Eww.

Nope, I stand straight and proud, all 6'3'' of me. And I've never had skid marks, thank you very much. It's not that hard people, if you need to get a bit cleaner, use your other hand to pull your cheeks apart, damn.

I've also never had a dingleberry problem, perhaps because I'm not very hairy. Or maybe because I wait until I'm well and done before I start to wipe. *shrugs*

 

[Krisken]

Jesus, Dieb, how much water is in your bowl? It's got to be like a fucking ocean in there.

 

[Dieb]

Jesus, Dieb, how much water is in your bowl? It's got to be like a fucking ocean in there.

Well, I've never actually TRIED it sitting down, as I said I never considered sitting until a week ago. It just...seems like a possibility.

 

[Silver Jelly]

I'm confused on the bidet front. Never having considered it but it makes sense one would have to dry after that. So... are these public towels? Are bidets usually an at home experience or would one find them at say, a nice restaurant or a mall? what then?

It's strictly an at home (and sometimes hotel) experience. You don't generally use other's peoples bidets if you are at their home. (unless you are their guest for days, for example)

 

[Bubble181]

I'm a sitter, too. Standers are clearly freaks.
I used to go once a day, about, but since I'm on my current medication, it's been 4 or 5 times a day. Bloody annoying.

 

[JCM]

Sitting, as I cant use this standing up-

 

[Shegokigo]

You could have just said "bidet" like everyonelse JCM.

 

[sixpackshaker]

Or just the left hand.

 

[Shannow]

You could have just said "bidet" like everyonelse JCM.

But where is the bragging fun in that?

 

[JCM]

You could have just said "bidet" like everyonelse JCM.

But where is the bragging fun in that?[/QUOTE]And it does avoid having to explain it to those who dont know it.

We are in an international forum, after all.

 

[Thread Necromancer]

You could have just said "bidet" like everyonelse JCM.

But where is the bragging fun in that?[/QUOTE]And it does avoid having to explain it to those who dont know it.

We are in an international forum, after all.[/QUOTE]

well, there's still the unanswered question of drying off. I'm all for having Dave install us some Bidets with the forum upgrade, but I want my own towel.

 

[North_Ranger]

Shocking revelation: I have never used a bidet.

 

[sixpackshaker]

of course, in Finland you would just end up sitting on an icicle.

 

[Dave]

of course, in Finland you would just end up sitting on an icicle.

I SO wish I wasn't at work right now. I have a perfect picture for this but it's NSFW.

Basically it's a frozen bidet and the water looks like a frozen dildo.

I think Liberace is a part of the comic.

 

[sixpackshaker]

I, for one, am happy you are at work.

 

[North_Ranger]

of course, in Finland you would just end up sitting on an icicle.

...

Rrrrrrrrroooiiiiight.

*scribbles down sixpackshaker's name in his To Kill in Painful Manner list* For... making... gay... joke... to... a... Finn...

 

[sixpackshaker]

I did not say you had to insert the icicle, but if that is where you want to go with that...

 

[North_Ranger]

Dude.

Water goes up and freezes.

Against your ass.

Where does that NOT turn into a gay joke?

 

[sixpackshaker]

Because I agreed that you don't do it. I also did not think that bidets would have the force to, you know...

 

[Shegokigo]

of course, in Finland you would just end up sitting on an icicle.

...

Rrrrrrrrroooiiiiight.

*scribbles down sixpackshaker's name in his To Kill in Painful Manner list* For... making... gay... joke... to... a... Finn...[/QUOTE]

So Finns can't be gay?

 

[Denbrought]

of course, in Finland you would just end up sitting on an icicle.

...

Rrrrrrrrroooiiiiight.

*scribbles down sixpackshaker's name in his To Kill in Painful Manner list* For... making... gay... joke... to... a... Finn...[/quote]

So Finns can't be gay?[/QUOTE]

Nooooo. It's just that if they laugh at gay jokes, a near-deadly toxin gets released into their system (notice how his phrasing slowed down and was filled with ellipses). Hence, it's considered rude to crack gay jokes at them Finns.

 

[LordRavage]

Why the fuck did I come into this thread while eating lunch?

Plus..you guys are way too comfortable with each other. You all sound like my family when they get together and talk about anything....I do mean ANYTHING.

Now if you excuse me, I need to use some wipes on my eyes and brain.

 

[LordRavage]

Why the fuck did I come into this thread while eating lunch?

Plus..you guys are way too comfortable with each other. You all sound like my family when they get together and talk about anything....I do mean ANYTHING.

Now if you excuse me, I need to use some wipes on my eyes and brain.

But the question is, do you stand or sit while you do so?[/QUOTE]

I take my legs and grip the sides of the bowl like a Ninja motorcycle and lean forward. I turn right most of the time unless I am having a bad day, then I power forward in my sitting stance and scream like a banshee falling into Hell.

On another note....I thought this thread was about when your group wipes in World of Warcraft. In that case, I sit and scream at my computer.

 

[North_Ranger]

So Finns can't be gay?

If that were true, our "oldies" music industry wouldn't be as popular as it is.

You did realize I was joking, didn't you, you silly homicidal Latina, you?

 

[The Pumes]

I sit, because that is the only way I feel comfortable without feeling like a freaking plebian.

 

[Silver Jelly]

well, there's still the unanswered question of drying off. I'm all for having Dave install us some Bidets with the forum upgrade, but I want my own towel.

Oh, I forgot to say in my answer that generally there's a bidet towel per bathroom. But as I'm the only one that uses it at home, I have no problem with that.

 

[Cuyval Dar]

Standing. Sitters are evil freaks who should all die. And considering the mammoth shits I take (Twice a day) it just seems like it would be a trap to put my hand down there.

 

[JCM]

You could have just said "bidet" like everyonelse JCM.

But where is the bragging fun in that?[/quote]And it does avoid having to explain it to those who dont know it.

We are in an international forum, after all.[/quote]

well, there's still the unanswered question of drying off. I'm all for having Dave install us some Bidets with the forum upgrade, but I want my own towel.[/QUOTE]In brazil most bathrooms have a paper towel dispenser, although not many have a bidet... I usually take some of those with me when Im using the loo, but I prefer to do number 2 at home.

 

[RoboKomodo]

Why the fuck did I come into this thread while eating lunch?

Plus..you guys are way too comfortable with each other. You all sound like my family when they get together and talk about anything....I do mean ANYTHING.

Now if you excuse me, I need to use some wipes on my eyes and brain.

But the question is, do you stand or sit while you do so?[/QUOTE]

I take my legs and grip the sides of the bowl like a Ninja motorcycle and lean forward. I turn right most of the time unless I am having a bad day, then I power forward in my sitting stance and scream like a banshee falling into Hell.

On another note....I thought this thread was about when your group wipes in World of Warcraft. In that case, I sit and scream at my computer.

[/QUOTE]

I laughed so hard at this. I can just picture someone having a deathgrip on the bowl with their legs and screeching like a stuck pig.