Do you stand or sit when you wipe?

[North_Ranger]

Why the fuck did I come into this thread while eating lunch?

Plus..you guys are way too comfortable with each other. You all sound like my family when they get together and talk about anything....I do mean ANYTHING.

Now if you excuse me, I need to use some wipes on my eyes and brain.

But the question is, do you stand or sit while you do so?[/QUOTE]

I take my legs and grip the sides of the bowl like a Ninja motorcycle and lean forward. I turn right most of the time unless I am having a bad day, then I power forward in my sitting stance and scream like a banshee falling into Hell.

On another note....I thought this thread was about when your group wipes in World of Warcraft. In that case, I sit and scream at my computer.

[/QUOTE]

I laughed so hard at this. I can just picture someone having a deathgrip on the bowl with their legs and screeching like a stuck pig.[/QUOTE]

Hemorrhoids.

That's why

 

[Shannow]

The shit I just levelled upon the toilet here at work was once again truly epic. Thursday mornings, the after-effects of chilli, tacos, and miller light the night before are truly a sight to behold.

 

[drawn_inward]

well, there's still the unanswered question of drying off. I'm all for having Dave install us some Bidets with the forum upgrade, but I want my own towel.

I think folks actually have a butt towel in the bathroom, at least in Indian households. Be careful which towel you dry your hands with!

I personally use wet-wipes. If you get shit on your arm, are you going to take a dry towel and wipe it off or are you going to wet it down and wash it. I do have a little storage packet that I keep at my desk when I am at work.

I would like to have a bidet in my house, but I don't like the idea of a butt towel.

 

[Silver Jelly]

well, there's still the unanswered question of drying off. I'm all for having Dave install us some Bidets with the forum upgrade, but I want my own towel.

I think folks actually have a butt towel in the bathroom, at least in Indian households. Be careful which towel you dry your hands with!

I personally use wet-wipes. If you get shit on your arm, are you going to take a dry towel and wipe it off or are you going to wet it down and wash it. I do have a little storage packet that I keep at my desk when I am at work.

I would like to have a bidet in my house, but I don't like the idea of a butt towel.[/QUOTE]

?

 

[Fun Size]

The thirteen year old giggler is intensely pleased with this thread.

Sub question, who looks to see how big it is?

I look and try to figure out how big a cellmate I will be able to handle if I am ever imprisoned.

EDIT:
You have also just made me question how my wife does this, which I consequently hate you for.

 

[Shakey]

EDIT:
You have also just made me question how my wife does this, which I consequently hate you for.

Hide behind the shower curtain and wait for her to come in and drop a load. Peak out at the last minute to watch. She won't mind, tell her it's for a scientific poll.

---------- Post added at 02:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:27 PM ----------

eep:
Peek-a-poop

 

[Laurelai]

This thread has made me snort out loud several times!

For the record, I am a sitter, and like several others, never knew there was an option! Somehow, my 9 year old choses to stand when she wipes after she pees. Dunno where she got it from, but I don't care to change how she does it either.

The guys I work with and I were discussing poo one day (of several) and I asked why they took reading material in with them. I never quite got that. When I have to poo, I go in, poo, wipe (with paper followed by a baby wipe) and leave. One guy there we labeled him as "nesting". He'd take the news paper in with him, read a section and discard it on the floor. He's read the next section, and discard it on the floor slightly overlapping the previous, and same with the next until he had a little arc of newspapers in front of the toilet.

I try not to go at work. Ugh! However, I work a 24 hour shift, so sometimes it's not possible. Thank goodness I am one of those "every two-three day-ers" *and* I eat lots of apples, peaches, and other veggies!

 

[Silver Jelly]

I can stay in the bathroom for 30 minutes or more. Reading material is a must.

 

[sixpackshaker]

I get weirded out when I go into a restroom where people share reading material.

Even worse when the material is porn.

You would not believe how many times I've seen that when working around Oil Field Workers or Lumber Yard Employees...

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

Why the fuck did I come into this thread while eating lunch?

Plus..you guys are way too comfortable with each other. You all sound like my family when they get together and talk about anything....I do mean ANYTHING.

Now if you excuse me, I need to use some wipes on my eyes and brain.

But the question is, do you stand or sit while you do so?[/QUOTE]

I take my legs and grip the sides of the bowl like a Ninja motorcycle and lean forward. I turn right most of the time unless I am having a bad day, then I power forward in my sitting stance and scream like a banshee falling into Hell.

On another note....I thought this thread was about when your group wipes in World of Warcraft. In that case, I sit and scream at my computer.

[/QUOTE]

 

[Heavan]

I get weirded out when I go into a restroom where people share reading material.

I don't, but I have thought about it. If you get right down to it, reading in the bathroom is probably more hygienic than reading on the bus, provided you don't get anything on it...

 

[Frank]

I can stay in the bathroom for 30 minutes or more. Reading material is a must.

I can too, I'll shit, wipe and flush and just sit there reading for the next 25-30 minutes. I find it's fantastic place to concentrate. No one's there bothering you and the fan drowns out most outside noise. It's like a white noise haven.

 

[Denbrought]

I can stay in the bathroom for 30 minutes or more. Reading material is a must.

I can too, I'll shit, wipe and flush and just sit there reading for the next 25-30 minutes. I find it's fantastic place to concentrate. No one's there bothering you and the fan drowns out most outside noise. It's like a white noise haven.[/QUOTE]

I probably get more reading done in the bathroom than anywhere else. Sooo relaxing too, with all the soothingly higenic colours.

 

[Silver Jelly]

I can stay in the bathroom for 30 minutes or more. Reading material is a must.

I can too, I'll shit, wipe and flush and just sit there reading for the next 25-30 minutes. I find it's fantastic place to concentrate. No one's there bothering you and the fan drowns out most outside noise. It's like a white noise haven.[/QUOTE]

That's not exactly my case: I noticed I can sit down, do my job, wipe and good bye what nice 10 minutes... but I know that if I stay 10 minutes more, I'll be able to do some more pooping... and If I wait a little more, repeat (but not rinse until the last time). After the "emptying" process is over, I feel like a new man. It's great.

(I also love to read in the bathroom though. And in waiting rooms or airplanes, for example. I can concentrate because there's nothing else to do... AND THAT'S AWESOME.)

 

[drawn_inward]

I get weirded out when I go into a restroom where people share reading material.

I don't, but I have thought about it. If you get right down to it, reading in the bathroom is probably more hygienic than reading on the bus, provided you don't get anything on it...[/quote]

Each flush creates a mist of poo-borne bacteria. That gets on everything in the poo-room. Honestly, one should flush and haul ass. Knowing this, I still read in the loo.

I hate those super-powerful, auto flushers that splash water everywhere when they flush, especially if you trigger it before you're finished and you get shitty-water splashed all about.

 

[Denbrought]

I get weirded out when I go into a restroom where people share reading material.

I don't, but I have thought about it. If you get right down to it, reading in the bathroom is probably more hygienic than reading on the bus, provided you don't get anything on it...[/quote]

Each flush creates a mist of poo-borne bacteria. That gets on everything in the poo-room. Honestly, one should flush and haul ass. Knowing this, I still read in the loo.

I hate those super-powerful, auto flushers that splash water everywhere when they flush, especially if you trigger it before you're finished and you get shitty-water splashed all about. [/QUOTE]

... Have you tried lowering the lid before flushing?

 

[IronBrig4]

I'm a sitter and had no idea there were standers in the world. I also come from a family of hairy men, so I have to be very thorough when wiping. My shitting time is usually before I take a shower. When I'm taking that shower, I will sometimes turn around and let that high-pressure stream of water clean out anything I missed.

 

[JCM]

Damn.

After a %^$# dirty toilet at my sister's graduation party, Im actually missing the squat toilets that I lived with in Asia.

 

[Philosopher B.]

I now think of Halforums when I'm taking a dump.

Nice going guys.

 

[sixpackshaker]

I get weirded out when I go into a restroom where people share reading material.

I don't, but I have thought about it. If you get right down to it, reading in the bathroom is probably more hygienic than reading on the bus, provided you don't get anything on it...[/QUOTE]

But you end up reading a Sports Illustrated that at least 2 other men have read after touching their junk and taint.

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

What. People read things they just find in the bathroom? What! I only read things I own in the bathroom.

 

[North_Ranger]

I have a huge pile of magazines in my toilet. Mostly History, but there's also one Dilbert there. I used to read League of Extraordinary Gentlemen there as well, but I stopped out of fear they might start smelling of my ass.

 

[Shannow]

Bathroom material at our apartment, conviently located at the toilet for easy perusal, is the rotating weekly sports illustrated, as well as these three tomes:
The first two are the large volume essential versions of this (a-m, and m-z)

And the main favorite:

 

[Cajungal]

What. People read things they just find in the bathroom? What! I only read things I own in the bathroom.

Yeah, I've never been in a public restroom where there's stuff to read. Seems weird. Plus, you wanna keep the line moving in a public place. I don't even like to touch my friends' Cosmopolitans and catalogs when I go at their homes.

---------- Post added at 11:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:01 AM ----------

And I'm gonna echo what Philosopher said. Jesus, man, the amount of things that remind me of halforums is getting ridiculous.

 

[Philosopher B.]

Jesus, man, the amount of things that remind me of halforums is getting ridiculous.

I know, right?

And I don't think I've ever read a single word in a bathroom. Get in, get out, that's me.

 

[Shakey]

I tried reading a few times. I start thinking that if I don't wipe soon it's gonna dry up. You can't wipe off dry poop with regular TP.

 

[Frank]

I tried reading a few times. I start thinking that if I don't wipe soon it's gonna dry up. You can't wipe off dry poop with regular TP.

It's super not hard to do that stuff first.

 

[Shakey]

I tried reading a few times. I start thinking that if I don't wipe soon it's gonna dry up. You can't wipe off dry poop with regular TP.

It's super not hard to do that stuff first.[/QUOTE]

So you finish pooping, wipe, and then just sit there in your own stink reading?

 

[Frank]

I tried reading a few times. I start thinking that if I don't wipe soon it's gonna dry up. You can't wipe off dry poop with regular TP.

It's super not hard to do that stuff first.[/QUOTE]

So you finish pooping, wipe, and then just sit there in your own stink reading?[/QUOTE]

Actually, I poop, wipe, flush with the lid down, wash my hands and sit on the closed lid of the toilet and read, but yeah, I've been in the same room with a man who had basically shit his guts out and had been left to decay for about 3 days before anyone had known he had died. The slight aroma of my own poop is pretty easy to tolerate.

 

[Philosopher B.]

 

[Shegokigo]

I read most of my novels in the bathroom. Takes me about 3-4 months to read through something decently sized though.

 

[Cajungal]

I tried reading a few times. I start thinking that if I don't wipe soon it's gonna dry up. You can't wipe off dry poop with regular TP.

It's super not hard to do that stuff first.[/QUOTE]

So you finish pooping, wipe, and then just sit there in your own stink reading?[/QUOTE]

Know what's neat? This stuff is neat:

http://poopourri.com/

Just spray it in the water before going and it covers up any unpleasant smells. My folks AND my sister use it, and it really works well.

 

[Shakey]

I seriously never could have imagined someone just hanging out in the bathroom after the deed is done. Consider my mind blown.

 

[North_Ranger]

Well, if you live with somebody you'll eventually come to a situation where somebody will enter the toilet shortly after "the deed is done".

One reason I'm happy to live alone is because dear old Dad leaves face-melting gases in the toilet. I'm glad he wasn't found out during the Bush administration; they would have mistaken him for a biological weapons plant.

 

[JCM]

Bathroom material at our apartment, conviently located at the toilet for easy perusal, is the rotating weekly sports illustrated, as well as these three tomes *pics*

I'll take one of these two for bathroom time.....

...so I can freak everyone out by screaming-

Or time my bowel movements to the beat of...

Pon pon pata pon!