This.
[Question] Am I being unreasonably uninclusive here?
- Thread starter Norris
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Dinner at Steak N Shake with three people I hold dear and two guys I don't dislike isn't exactly the same thing as giving three dear friends thoughtful Christmas gifts under light of the Christmas lights and mini tree in my basement and then watching a Christmas movie. The latter screams Christmas at the top of its lungs, the former is what we try to do whenever we're all in town.
Is he gonna give you a present?
I celebrate Christmas with a potluck and Yankee Swap gift exchange with my high school friends every year, and have since 11th grade. Around 8 yeas now.
Boyfriends have come and gone, people have started college/university both in and out of town. People have left the country for a year or more, moved across the country or continent, gained and lost boyfriends or girlfriends, and so on.
Suffice it to say, it has never been the same since we left high school. It's impossible to get everyone together at the same time, and at least one person is always missing from the party. New people are added or removed as boyfriends or girlfriends come out of the picture. Sometimes people change their food or alcohol proclivities, or can't afford to give gifts.
This is life.
I guess my point is that getting hung up on your perception of what this party "should" be isn't gonna help. If you go into it with an open mind I'm sure you'll ave a great time, or at least a better time than if you go to the restaurant/bar with a pissy attitude because the planets didn't align and the super-unlikely combination of events that would culminate in your perfect Christmas wasn't possible. I think what's gonna cause this event to fail NOW isn't that there are extra people there, it's that you're gonna go into the event thinking that "everything is ruined forever.
What I'm trying to say is lighten up, try to have a good time, and realize that if you get to spend time with your loved ones, that should be great enough.
Boyfriends have come and gone, people have started college/university both in and out of town. People have left the country for a year or more, moved across the country or continent, gained and lost boyfriends or girlfriends, and so on.
Suffice it to say, it has never been the same since we left high school. It's impossible to get everyone together at the same time, and at least one person is always missing from the party. New people are added or removed as boyfriends or girlfriends come out of the picture. Sometimes people change their food or alcohol proclivities, or can't afford to give gifts.
This is life.
I guess my point is that getting hung up on your perception of what this party "should" be isn't gonna help. If you go into it with an open mind I'm sure you'll ave a great time, or at least a better time than if you go to the restaurant/bar with a pissy attitude because the planets didn't align and the super-unlikely combination of events that would culminate in your perfect Christmas wasn't possible. I think what's gonna cause this event to fail NOW isn't that there are extra people there, it's that you're gonna go into the event thinking that "everything is ruined forever.
What I'm trying to say is lighten up, try to have a good time, and realize that if you get to spend time with your loved ones, that should be great enough.
No one is getting me any presents, to my knowledge.
Sounds lovely...
Really though. That must be the KING of mini trees.
Do you decorate with plenty of red?
I have no idea what the hell turn this has taken, but there's a mini tree on the bar (with built in lights) and lights strung up along the walls. And a small electric "fireplace" on one wall. And my sister always hangs up decorations for her party. Really, it gets quite cozy around Christmas time.
There's also my sister's name in giant letters on poster boards hung up on one wall.
There's also my sister's name in giant letters on poster boards hung up on one wall.
We usually wait until page four these days.
Alright you're the host. I to re-read all this shit. It's hard to keep track of Mrs. W's, Best Man, and the like...
The dude gave you a week in advance. What's wrong with just giving them gifts at your place with Best Man guy there too? You're supposed to give him a gift? Buy him a Hickory Farms sausage pack. Sounds like you want an intimate evening in your parents' basement with a married woman and her husband? How much planning was really ruined here? I think you're being an idiot.
M
makare
I think this is the first time I remember seeing Norris what exactly constitutes a Norris thread?
It seems like any other Halforums thread from what I can see.
It seems like any other Halforums thread from what I can see.
http://halforums.com/xenforo/thread...elter-i-dont-get-signals-dating-advice.26274/
It's where the "therapy" bit came from.
To fully enjoy it, you have to read through all 11 pages.
Let me reiterate - I don't have the money to buy him anything. I planned, budgeted for, and sought deals on the gifts I did buy. I'm not made out of money, and yes an extra $10-$20 could throw off my month. I also hate giving impersonal gifts like a Hickory Farms sampler or a Chia Pet or a gift card, but that's admittedly about fourth or fifth on the reason I'm not gonna get him a gift.
You mean the basement of the house in which I live. Yes, it is my family house owned by my father but I can count on one hand the college students I know who don't think of their parent's house as their home (especially at my school, which encourages the use of on-campus apartments). Not a lot of undergrads with a mortgage, asshole and I resent your implication that I'm a loser for it.
And yes, I'd hoped for an evening that fit any one of these definitions:
With some people I cared about, not fucking dinner for six at Steak N Shake. If you I'm an idiot for wanting an actual Christmas celebration with some friends I care about, then I think you're Ebeneezer fucking Scrooge.
I will tell my sister right away that her annual Christmas party (held every year with gift exchange, movie watching, and was the reason we started decorating the basement the last couple of years in the first place) is creepy. I will apologize to my dad's side of the family for the "creepy" Christmas dinners we had in that basement for fifteen years. Because everyone knows, basement = pervert.
Necronic
Staff member
Thing is man, ultimately, you're being incredibly selfish. That's why I asked if you were an only child, because this is the kind of stuff they do.
Not being able to afford a present is no big deal (I mean like you said you're a student). Not being able to afford a little common courtesy so you can be a good host is a problem.
Not being able to afford a present is no big deal (I mean like you said you're a student). Not being able to afford a little common courtesy so you can be a good host is a problem.
You want to fuck your best friend. There I said it.
Even if he does, it's quite obvious he himself doesn't recognize it. Not sure why it's important to the discussion. If he was best friends with a guy, who was bringing his wife, and his wife wanted to bring her maid of honor, and there was no sexual tension between him and his buddy, would you come to a different conclusion?
M
makare
Norris sometimes it is just better not to respond to some things. It doesn't help your case and it just gives an opening to jab at you more.
Yeah, guests don't traditionally give a gathering nearly as much thought as the host. And you seem to have missed a few posts - the issue was solved by post fucking 8. That's when i decided to ok the extra guest. Within the next couple of hours it mutated into six people at SNS and has stayed that way. All that's happened today was...I don't even know. Pretty pointless. I'm on my third day in a row of having the wearing of pants be a formality because I didn't really leave the apartment. Kind of bored.
Because getting them presents that are, while on a budget, tailored to how I met them and things they like (and in one case, hand made by my sister) is exactly the same as getting them random shit from Hickory Farms with no thought put into it.
What does that even mean?
HOW AM I BEING A BAD HOST? Because I didn't want to invite people I barely knew to my Christmas party? Because I wasn't going to have my dad buy alcohol for us (because I certainly can't afford it and he doesn't keep it around anymore)? Because I moved the setting to a place everyone can enjoy and feel comfortable at and frees my dad from having to have both his children hold holiday gatherings at his house on consecutive days? What?
Yeah, he probably wouldn't mind the maid of honor.
M
makare
Goddamn it Norris....
Why must you insist that intimate must mean sexy times? I have no interest in fucking Mrs. M, or her husband. I wanted to have an evening with them like I would with my cousin and her husband and my other cousin (her brother). No topic of conversation off limits, very relaxed and comfortable, shared history but with stories worth telling, etc. Close. Personal. Meaningful. Familial. Platonic.
I'm not just going to sit back and let people impugn my character. I don't care if it is a meaningless fight on the internet, I'm offended when people insult me.Goddamn it Norris....
Here's the thing.
If you had said "No, I really was looking forward to a night with a few close friends," maybe they would've thought you were being unreasonable, but because they're your friends they would've probably kept it to themselves and enjoyed the evening with you because they probably would have understood.
Since you said, "Yeah, bring him," what makes you a bad host is not accepting all the responsibilities that come with that. Those responsibilities do NOT include: changing the location, buying gifts, changing how you'll give gifts previously bought, buying alcohol, etc. The responsibilities you inherited were twofold: 1) Make him feel welcome by being positive about his presence. "Nice to see you again, what are you up to now, etc." Not being close, he would not have expected a gift. 2) Make your friends feel like they've done a positive thing by including one friend with another friend. You say you want to be close to dear ones... Give this guy a chance to be one of those dear ones. That's literally all you have to do to be not just decent, but the best host.
You accused Mathias of being Scrooge but you're the one who can't welcome a total stranger into an intimate celebration, so...
tl;dr: It's Christmas, you monster.
Necronic
Staff member
Because the guests you actually care about want this dude there. And you are more interested in not being slightly put out than in letting them have their friend along.
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