Export thread

Am I being unreasonably uninclusive here?

#1

Norris

Norris

I'm getting together with my best friend Mrs. M, her husband Seaman M, and her sister Miss W to celebrate Christmas in one week. Today, Seaman M asked if he could bring his best buddy (the best man from their wedding, so I do the know the dude) along. I'm of two minds on the issue:

  • On the one hand, he's super in demand these rare times he gets back up to Michigan and I understand him wanting to bring along Best Man. I'm lucky to be getting time to hang out with him at all, being as I barely know the man and its not like his wife doesn't have opportunities to hang out with me here in Grand Rapids. Besides, the more the merrier, theoretically.
  • On the other hand...I'd been looking forward to seeing the M's. I have spent all of 10 hours total hanging out with my best friend's husband, I really want to get to know the dude better. I also bought the three of them gifts and wrote little, somewhat personal, notes to go with them. I'd greatly prefer keep the circle small here.
The problem I'm having is that I have a bad habit of becoming so married to one plan or idea that I take any disruption thereof way to personally (example - feeling like there was no reason to come home for Thanksgiving when my plans with this same group fell through. That lasted for about a minute, but that was still the initial reaction). I'm leaning towards saying "sure, bring him" simply because it is the opposite of my gut reaction.

So I ask you - is my gut reaction unreasonable? Even if it is reasonable, should I ignore it in favor of honoring the request of a dude I know makes a lot of personal sacrifices in this arena? If I do allow Best Man to come by, should I also extend an invite to Miss W's boyfriend (even though the hand made Mr. Hanky The Christmas Poo stuffed animal I'm paying sister to make might show up whatever he's getting her)?


#2

drifter

drifter



#3

Norris

Norris

I must be insanely tired because I stared at that GIF for about a minute thinking that the message it was meant to convey would become clear before realizing you probably weren't trying to convey one.


#4

Vrii

Vrii

The message is "this should be good, let me get comfortable to enjoy the show".


#5

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

While I understand where you're coming from, one more guy isn't going to ruin your evening. If he wants to bring his friend, let him come, you might even find yourself liking the guy.


#6

General Specific

General Specific

Ravenpoe said:
While I understand where you're coming from, one more guy isn't going to ruin your evening. If he wants to bring his friend, let him come, you might even find yourself liking the guy.
Click to expand...
Especially if it is a friend from out of town who is only going to be around a short while. Let the extra guy come along.


#7

Norris

Norris

Fair enough. Seaman M doesn't get much time in town, and I do already know Best Man (we're friends on the facebook and the three of us did hang out at the wedding while waiting for the main event). I dunno. I think of Mrs. M less as a friend and more like chosen family, so I think that's where the reticence here is stemming from. The evening is already not going to meet my hopes (we're extremely limited in timescale due to Miss W's schedule -we can only get together that Sunday evening, which is a school night, and still have everyone available) anyways.

The other thing is, and it is incredibly selfish, he's already in town. So he can already hang out with buddy. He can hang out with him any night in the next two weeks or so. Any night in the last week or so. I get to chill with him and his wife this one night. I don't mind - I accept that I fall low in the man's pecking order, I wouldn't expect otherwise. But come on, can't I get four hours alone with my favorite couple (and their sister/sister-in-law)? I don't know what their dynamic is like, maybe its not the one I'm hoping for. Then again, maybe it will make no difference.

That said, you guys are confirming what I already suspected. I'll tell him tomorrow. Thanks.


#8

Jay

Jay

Ah... another Norris thread... I expect a lot of this coming.

pcgSW.jpg


#9

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Norris said:
Fair enough. Seaman M doesn't get much time in town, and I do already know Best Man (we're friends on the facebook and the three of us did hang out at the wedding while waiting for the main event). I dunno. I think of Mrs. M less as a friend and more like chosen family, so I think that's where the reticence here is stemming from. The evening is already not going to meet my hopes (we're extremely limited in timescale due to Miss W's schedule -we can only get together that Sunday evening, which is a school night, and still have everyone available) anyways.

The other thing is, and it is incredibly selfish, he's already in town. So he can already hang out with buddy. He can hang out with him any night in the next two weeks or so. Any night in the last week or so. I get to chill with him and his wife this one night. I don't mind - I accept that I fall low in the man's pecking order, I wouldn't expect otherwise. But come on, can't I get four hours alone with my favorite couple (and their sister/sister-in-law)? I don't know what their dynamic is like, maybe its not the one I'm hoping for. Then again, maybe it will make no difference.

That said, you guys are confirming what I already suspected. I'll tell him tomorrow. Thanks.
Click to expand...

I'm not going to say it...


But someone will.

Seriously though, you're overthinking this. And being overly negative. Hanging out shouldn't be this goddamn complicated. Have some drinks, share some stories, and try not to be such a party pooper.


#10

Norris

Norris

Ravenpoe said:
Seriously though, you're overthinking this. And being overly negative. Hanging out shouldn't be this goddamn complicated. Have some drinks, share some stories, and try not to be such a party pooper.
Click to expand...
Its not just hanging out though. You don't traditionally select, wrap, write cards for, and give out presents for a standard just shooting-the-shit session. Any other time of the year? Not a second thought. But this is celebrating Christmas, with a person (Mrs. M) who has done more for me in the last year and a half than my dad's side of the family has done in the last three. With a dude I've barely hung out with but really would like to be to be friends with (her husband the seaman). With a girl I have a great affection for, mostly brotherly (her sister). So yeah, I'm not super OK with him deciding to bring his buddy that I met once for about an hour and a half to this little get together (at my house).

Still, to prove this isn't the same situation as last time:


So there. I went against my instincts and said fine. I hope he enjoys not getting a present, not having any alcohol, and possibly watching the heartwarming and mildly racist Christmas movie Holiday Inn.


#11

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

First you said "My House" but that message says "Your dad's house". Just looking for clarity.


#12

Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Jesus. Christ.

And Holiday Inn sucks.


#13

Norris

Norris

Shegokigo said:
First you said "My House" but that message says "Your dad's house". Just looking for clarity.
Click to expand...
One in the same, I guess. My family's house, which is still my primary address and home since I am a college student living in an on campus apartment. My father is the owner, but I am a resident.


#14

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

State for me, a slight bit more clearly what this "4th" person does that causes such a problem? No need to get super specific or give backround. Just simple reason why going from 3 to 4 people is a huge issue.


#15

Norris

Norris

Shegokigo said:
State for me, a slight bit more clearly what this "4th" person does that causes such a problem? No need to get super specific or give backround. Just simple reason why going from 3 to 4 people is a huge issue.
Click to expand...
It changes what had been intended as a somewhat intimate Christmas gathering with people I hold great affection for into...more generalized hanging out. Which isn't bad, per se, just not what I'd been looking forward to since September.

In the interest of clarity: It is now me, Mr. & Mrs. M, Miss W & her boyfriend, Best Man, and possibly one of Mrs. M's good friends (all people I know) meeting up for dinner at the local Steak N Shake. Once the guest list got opened, I no longer had a good reason to limit it. I'll also just be boxing up the presents and give them to the M/W family to open at their convenience (rather than open them all together and see their reactions...pity, that hand made Mr. Hanky is gonna knock W's socks off), since it would be incredibly rude and exclusionary to have a gift giving where half the attendees get nothing.

It will still be fun. I'm still looking forward to it. It is, however, not even remotely the intimate little gathering and gift giving I'd been unreasonably hoping for.


#16

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Norris said:
I hope he enjoys not getting a present, not having any alcohol, and possibly watching the heartwarming and mildly racist Christmas movie Holiday Inn.
Click to expand...
Goddamn!


#17

Vrii

Vrii

Norris said:
So there. I went against my instincts and said fine. I hope he enjoys not getting a present, not having any alcohol, and possibly watching the heartwarming and mildly racist Christmas movie Holiday Inn.
Click to expand...
What better way to celebrate the holidays than with spite?


#18



makare

I get what you are saying. I hate it when people want to bring extra guests to a Christmas celebration especially since it was usually my sister doing it. It's really nice of you to say yes to him wanting to invite someone else to your gathering. You are being very magnanimous about it. I always said ok too but begrudgingly and I still resent my sister for putting us all in that position.

I don't remember Holiday Inn being racist but I do also fall asleep half way through...


#19

Vrii

Vrii

makare said:
. You are being very magnanimous about it.
Click to expand...
What?


#20



makare

Im not sure what's confusing. He is being very generous letting someone he almost completely does not know come to his Christmas get together. Not sure what is confusing about that. I mean yeah he is complaining but just to us. I would too... boy howdy.


#21

Tress

Tress

Norris said:
Am I being unreasonably uninclusive here?
Click to expand...
Yes.


#22

Vrii

Vrii

makare said:
Im not sure what's confusing. He is being very generous letting someone he almost completely does not know come to his Christmas get together. Not sure what is confusing about that. I mean yeah he is complaining but just to us. I would too... boy howdy.
Click to expand...
"Yeah, he can come, but I'm not going to do a single thing to make him feel comfortable or prevent him from being excluded from everything. I hope he enjoys it when I make it painfully clear that he's here against my wishes!"

Doesn't seem particularly warm-hearted to me.


#23



makare

Like I said as I understand it he just said those things to us. If anyone should be providing extra stuff to make the guy feel more comfortable it is the people who invite extra guests. They should provide a present for him to open, extra drinks if needed etc.


#24

Tress

Tress

makare said:
Like I said as I understand it he just said those things to us. If anyone should be providing extra stuff to make the guy feel more comfortable it is the people who invite extra guests. They should provide a present for him to open, extra drinks if needed etc.
Click to expand...
I strongly disagree. If you want to be a good host, you have to welcome everyone who comes to your home. The truly magnanimous thing would have been to say, "Well, I wanted this to be a more intimate affair but if you want him to come along, then invite him. I will buy an impersonal gift and get some more food/alcohol to make him feel welcome." That's being magnanimous. Now, that's not to say it's required. If Norris doesn't want to do all that, so be it. But don't try to paint it as some form of generosity to cut this person out.


#25



makare

Well then I guess we are going to have to differ in opinion there. Letting people bring extras period is very generous in my eyes. But I have always had a dim view of rude people and moochers so these situations generally make me feel they should take what they can get which I guess is kind of what they are doing in the first place.


#26

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

makare and Norris seeing things in the same way does not surprise me in the least.

Nothing implied by that, just an observation.


#27

Tress

Tress

Wow. I just... wow. How did it go from asking if a friend could come along to rude and mooching?

Listen, if you want to cut a person out in a passive-aggressive way because you are spiteful that you won't have all your friend's attention, so be it. Just don't try to act as though you're being noble and doing them a favor.


#28

Bowielee

Bowielee

So, basically, you said yes, but plan on being an unwelcoming asshat to this extra person.

Wouldn't the really polite thing to do be to say "sorry, but can't make the room"?

Saying yeah it's OK, then plotting to be as unwelcoming as possible is so unbelievable passive aggressive.


#29

Vrii

Vrii

Yeah, if Norris wants to suggest that this guy should bring his own food/drinks, that's a valid approach to take. Don't want to get him a gift? That's fine, he almost definitely isn't expecting one anyway - why would he? These are all completely reasonable things to do.

But calling it magnanimous to say "I guess he can come as long as I don't have to do anything at all for him" is a stretch.


#30



makare

maybe mention that since another person is coming have all the guests bring a little something extra that way you can have all the bases covered without singling out the new person. I am not sure what norris's get togethers are like I always take something when I go to someone's house anyway but some people don't. I think it would be ok to let people know it is ok to bring something.

I think the making him watch Holiday Inn as a form of cruelty was a joke though.

Edit.. all that might be irrelevant if he is now going out to dinner? I am not sure what is going on with it now.


#31

LordRendar

LordRendar

I wonder how these people stay your friends.You dont own them and they can be friends with anyone they want to.
But telling them in a passive agressive way "I dont like that you bring someone to our party,because I want you all to myself" makes you seem really clingy and small.


#32



makare

Some parties are the kind that are always the more the merrier and whatever happens is fine. Other parties are the kind where hosts like to plan things out so the event has a certain feel and function. Haven't any of you ever had a gathering or a dinner party with a set guest list? Adding, or subtracting for that matter, can completely change the tone and feel of a party. It is not rude or possessive to want specific people at a specific event.

In my college town I have a close group of about 8 friends that I love doing stuff with. However, sometimes I just want to do things with certain ones of them at certain times and i am very disappointed when even one of these close friends comes along when it wasn't originally planned that way. There is nothing wrong with that. That is how you plan get togethers with certain people with certain personality combinations. I do not at all see how this situation makes him, or me, into someone who is clingy or possessive.


#33

drifter

drifter

To be fair, when Norris said "not having alcohol" I think he meant that this was to be a dry affair, not that he intended to purposefully withhold libations out of spite.


#34

Terrik

Terrik

Well, that makes sense.

If it were me, and I felt that uncomfortable, I'd just tell him not to come. You might end up making your other friends uncomfortable if they felt you weren't treating their friend right.

I mean, I kinda had this situation play out a few weeks ago when I invited my co-worker over for a "guy's night" of games, alcohol and pizza. He ended up deciding to bring his girlfriend along, which, I wasn't all too happy with. He apologized for doing so, and I told him not to worry about it, told him she could come, and bought extra food for her as well, because hey, if she ended up coming, and I treated her like an ass because I didn't particularly want her to come, then my co-worker would have been put off.

tl:dr If you say yes, treat him the same as the others

Otherwise, say no.


#35

strawman

strawman

Looks like it's all resolved. As if that's gonna stop me from participating:

I completely understand your reluctance to allow your guests to invite more people to your christmas party. I can see how disappointing it would be to lose control of that party and have it end up at a restaurant with a suddenly much larger group. It will be nothing like you had hoped.

When I've had to change holiday plans, especially from small intimate gatherings to larger parties, the entire social dynamic changes, and generally I am more interactive and enjoy smaller groups better. Larger groups are significantly less fun for me in a variety of ways.

However, it's the holidays, people's scheduling sucks, and generally I've learned that I'm better off just going with the social flow than I am trying to form smaller exclusive get-togethers.

You're not being unreasonable, but there's a very good chance that your party would have been cancelled if this really is the only four hour block these people can get together. They will have wanted to include many more people as time went on anyway.

Just be glad you're able to visit with your friends as a group this season, and move on.


#36

Mathias

Mathias

Norris said:
Fair enough. Seaman M doesn't get much time in town, and I do already know Best Man (we're friends on the facebook and the three of us did hang out at the wedding while waiting for the main event). I dunno. I think of Mrs. M less as a friend and more like chosen family, so I think that's where the reticence here is stemming from. The evening is already not going to meet my hopes (we're extremely limited in timescale due to Miss W's schedule -we can only get together that Sunday evening, which is a school night, and still have everyone available) anyways.
The other thing is, and it is incredibly selfish, he's already in town. So he can already hang out with buddy. He can hang out with him any night in the next two weeks or so. Any night in the last week or so. I get to chill with him and his wife this one night. I don't mind - I accept that I fall low in the man's pecking order, I wouldn't expect otherwise. But come on, can't I get four hours alone with my favorite couple (and their sister/sister-in-law)? I don't know what their dynamic is like, maybe its not the one I'm hoping for. Then again, maybe it will make no difference.
That said, you guys are confirming what I already suspected. I'll tell him tomorrow. Thanks.
Click to expand...
Wow, you are a total buzzkill. Don't bring this shit up to your friend. For the love of God don't do it, unless you want to have a miserable time with your friends thinking you're a douche, and word getting back to the buddy making him think you're a douche. What's going to happen is YOU'RE going to end up being the third wheel for the evening.
I... wow...
Really, it's one other guy. I could understand if Mrs. W was your spouse and the friend wanted to come by while you were trying to have an intimate time on Christmas, but this... this is just stupid.
Added at: 07:52
makare said:
Some parties are the kind that are always the more the merrier and whatever happens is fine. Other parties are the kind where hosts like to plan things out so the event has a certain feel and function. Haven't any of you ever had a gathering or a dinner party with a set guest list? Adding, or subtracting for that matter, can completely change the tone and feel of a party. It is not rude or possessive to want specific people at a specific event.
In my college town I have a close group of about 8 friends that I love doing stuff with. However, sometimes I just want to do things with certain ones of them at certain times and i am very disappointed when even one of these close friends comes along when it wasn't originally planned that way. There is nothing wrong with that. That is how you plan get togethers with certain people with certain personality combinations. I do not at all see how this situation makes him, or me, into someone who is clingy or possessive.
Click to expand...
That decision is at the host's discretion; not the guests. You act like an adult, suck it up, and play nice. Or you can be a vindictive douche and try to passive aggressively piss everyone off because you didn't get your way.
Added at: 07:55
Terrik said:
Well, that makes sense.
If it were me, and I felt that uncomfortable, I'd just tell him not to come. You might end up making your other friends uncomfortable if they felt you weren't treating their friend right.
I mean, I kinda had this situation play out a few weeks ago when I invited my co-worker over for a "guy's night" of games, alcohol and pizza. He ended up deciding to bring his girlfriend along, which, I wasn't all too happy with. He apologized for doing so, and I told him not to worry about it, told him she could come, and bought extra food for her as well, because hey, if she ended up coming, and I treated her like an ass because I didn't particularly want her to come, then my co-worker would have been put off.
tl:dr If you say yes, treat him the same as the others
Otherwise, say no.
Click to expand...
This is an understandable situation to get upset over. It's unexpected and unplanned in regards to the host. The case here is that it's the hosts that are changing the arrangements. That's not something that's debatable. It's their party, and they can plan it as they please.


#37

strawman

strawman

Mathias said:
The case here is that it's the hosts that are changing the arrangements.
Click to expand...
I understood that Norris was the host, and the guests were asking him if another person could join their party.


#38

Norris

Norris

Vrii said:
"Yeah, he can come, but I'm not going to do a single thing to make him feel comfortable or prevent him from being excluded from everything. I hope he enjoys it when I make it painfully clear that he's here against my wishes!"

Doesn't seem particularly warm-hearted to me.
Click to expand...
The only thing he wasn't going to be included in was getting a gift. I'm not going to rush out, drop $20 (since that is what I spent on everyone else) on something tailored to how I met him or what I appreciate about our friendship (because I barely know him, but that's what I did for everyone else), and write a hand written personal note explaining the significance (since I don't expect everyone to remember things from years ago) just so someone I didn't invite can feel more included when I give my best friend, her husband, and one of my other best friends their Christmas presents. So I nixed the gift giving, I'll just be boxing them up and they can open them whenever, in private.

Additionally, for various reasons, there was never going to be any alcohol. When it's just Mrs. M's husband, I can explain to him why and he can deal with it. But these two guys together like to drink. Middle of the night, two in the afternoon, doesn't matter - they'll have a can of beer when relaxing. So, when it was still at my house, I felt awkward about having them over without offering any (which I have reasons for not doing).

Mathias said:
That decision is at the host's discretion; not the guests. You act like an adult, suck it up, and play nice. Or you can be a vindictive douche and try to passive aggressively piss everyone off because you didn't get your way.
Click to expand...


I am the goddamned host. This whole thread has been devoted to telling me that it is not really at my discretion if I want to be a good host. I had already told Mrs. M's sister that I wasn't sure bringing her boyfriend was a good idea, since I wasn't going to get him anything. She understood, but now that Best Man is coming I can't rightly say that anymore, so he's invited. Since two people I did not buy gifts for (and who would likely be somewhat ill at ease if I did anyways, considering I've met them both once) are now coming, I decided to nix the gift giving. Since that got nixed, there wasn't much reason to hold it in basement anymore since my dad doesn't stock much more than our family of three needs, I can't afford to buy much, and my sister's Christmas party the night before will clean us out. So I decided that moving it to Steak N Shake, Mrs. M and Miss W's favorite restaurant and a frequent hang-out spot for this crowd, was for the best. I've complained about it here, since this is not what I wanted it to be (I wouldn't have planned it two weeks in advance or scheduled it when I did if it was just fucking around at Steak N Shake), but all they know is "hey, sure, bring more people and let's do it at Steak N Shake".

All right? I've opened it up to the people they wanted to bring. I've changed the venue to be more inclusive. I've nixed the gifts, which were initially the whole fucking point of the proceedings, to be more inclusive. All reluctantly, I admit, but it was done. Where exactly am I being a bad host?


#39

Dave

Dave

Late to the party as usual, but here's my thoughts.

Here's this friend who is in town for a short while. He's being pulled in several directions as he wants to see everyone and spend time with them in a meaningful way. He's taking time out to come to your house, which is a HUGE thing if he's that short on time. But he also has this friend that he wants to spend time with. He suggests a compromise - bring the Best Man (and someone who is going to be his Best Man is a very good friend!). Everyone wins, right? You get to see your friend, he gets t spend time with you and the Best Man. Make the best attempt you can to making the Best Man feel at home and welcome. Not doing so will alienate your friend and cause rifts in the relationship. And for what? Because you want to be selfish and keep your friend to yourself? Please.

I did nearly the same thing when I was a kid. My best friend, Rodney, started hanging out with this new kid, David Elliott. I got so mad! But eventually I realized that David was a great guy and instead of throwing a fit and losing my one friend I discovered I had two friends.

This was second grade. You are in college and should be well past this.


#40

LittleSin

LittleSin

I am laughing. I can't help it. This whole thread seems goddamn juvenile.

Guess What? I'm having a Tibbs Eve party. It was only supposed to be about 8 of us. A nice intimate affair. However, my sister got involved and now about five of her friends are showing up. Then my parents told me that a few relatives might stop by. So My small affair has become about 20.

I'm not thrilled with it...but, hey! It's Tibbs Eve! It's a bout plankin' her down and gettin' rowdy!

Not all those people that are coming are getting gifts! That would be fucking insane! My good friends are getting gifts and the rest of them can treat the ability to party in my home as a gift...and I'll treat the stuff they bring for the potluck as theirs. :)

Also, I don't drink..but that doesn't stop me and my husband from having booze and mix around. I'm an adult. I understand that adults drink. Doesn't mean I have to. If it makes them feel more comfortable, go for it!

(I do however...imbibe other things.)

Changes and plans can lead to fun! Just relax and go with it! I guarantee you that you will learn more about your friends husband through his interactions with those closest to him then through the awkward ones he'll have with you starting off.


Just. Have. FUN.


#41

Norris

Norris

Dave said:
Here's this friend who is in town for a short while. He's being pulled in several directions as he wants to see everyone and spend time with them in a meaningful way.
Click to expand...
Which is why I'm only asking for four hours out of the three weeks he will be home, and counting myself lucky to get them.

He's taking time out to come to your house, which is a HUGE thing if he's that short on time.
Click to expand...
Look, not for nothing, but I performed the dude's wedding and his wife is my best friend. It is very nice of him to find the time for me, and we are friends, but he's made it clear his wife was gonna make him come along no matter when or where I threw the thing (within reason).

But he also has this friend that he wants to spend time with. He suggests a compromise - bring the Best Man (and someone who is going to be his Best Man is a very good friend!). Everyone wins, right? You get to see your friend, he gets t spend time with you and the Best Man.
Click to expand...
My compromise would be to go hang out with him afterwards, or to just tell let him alone for the four hours. They do hang out just about every day when he's home, as I would do in the same situation.

Make the best attempt you can to making the Best Man feel at home and welcome. Not doing so will alienate your friend and cause rifts in the relationship. And for what? Because you want to be selfish and keep your friend to yourself? Please.
Click to expand...
And I've done that, as explained at length in the post above yours. But I don't feel it was that selfish to want to keep the private and personal little gift exchange I'd planned with my best friend and her husband (whose wedding I performed - I even titled the event "Walker Ministries Christmas Part") private.

LittleSin said:
I am laughing. I can't help it. This whole thread seems goddamn juvenile.
Click to expand...
Oh screw you. Seriously, NO ONE has ever tried to have a small and meaningful Christmas gathering restricted to people you love? That doesn't happen? I'm the only one?

Guess What? I'm having a Tibbs Eve party. It was only supposed to be about 8 of us. A nice intimate affair. However, my sister got involved and now about five of her friends are showing up. Then my parents told me that a few relatives might stop by. So My small affair has become about 20.
Click to expand...
I would see that completely unacceptable. You're the host, you should have complete control of the guest list. I personally can't stand gigantic parties where you don't get to talk to anyone on any meaningful level and would never throw one myself.

Not all those people that are coming are getting gifts! That would be fucking insane! My good friends are getting gifts and the rest of them can treat the ability to party in my home as a gift...and I'll treat the stuff they bring for the potluck as theirs. :)
Click to expand...
According to this thread then, you're noninclusive.

Also, I don't drink..but that doesn't stop me and my husband from having booze and mix around. I'm an adult. I understand that adults drink. Doesn't mean I have to. If it makes them feel more comfortable, go for it!
Click to expand...
I will go so far as to say that the recent establishment of my house as mostly dry was not mine, I don't know the reasons for it, I'm unhappy about it, I support it wholeheartedly, and we'll leave it there.

Changes and plans can lead to fun! Just relax and go with it! I guarantee you that you will learn more about your friends husband through his interactions with those closest to him then through the awkward ones he'll have with you starting off.
Click to expand...
Fair point, though he and I are beyond the awkward stage on his part (it still takes me a good two minutes to remember I'm not terrified of him). I don't their dynamic - do they still tell the funny stories about their rabbit-like sex life? What stories can I refer to? How open is Miss W around this guy? I certainly don't feel comfortable getting "real" about my feelings in front of him. Do they turn into total Bros? I don't rightly know. The only times we've met were at the wedding rehearsal (when Mrs. M's mom was running the show) and the wedding (where we were naturally all rather preoccupied).


Just. Have. FUN.
Click to expand...
I fully intend to try.


#42

strawman

strawman

LittleSin said:
Just. Have. FUN.
Click to expand...


#43

Dave

Dave

I didn't see the post above mine because it wasn't there when I posted mine. But my sentiment remains basically the same. You seem to have some resentment against the guy for hanging out with the dude who was the Best Man at his wedding. Look at the way you are portraying him.

Norris said:
his wife is my best friend.
Click to expand...
Norris said:
he's made it clear his wife was gonna make him come along no matter when I threw the thing.
Click to expand...

Norris said:
They do hang out just about every day when he's home
Click to expand...

What these say to me - right or wrong: "I'm her friend not necessarily his friend." "He didn't really want to come but she's making him." "He sees this guy all the time so I don't see why he can't leave him by himself for a couple hours."

The more you talk the more you paint him as selfish, which is your way of trying to justify your own feelings.

But as you've already changed the invitations, these projections are a moot point. You did the right thing and are fighting through the irrational feelings you are having. And yes, I think you are in the wrong for wanting to keep him all to yourself. That's not how friendship works.


#44

strawman

strawman

Now that I think about it, it's almost sounding like he doesn't want to come, but since he has to he'd like to bring his friend so he knows he'll have someone fun there for him.

In other words, everyone's merely trying to make themselves as comfortable as they can within the constraints everyone else is setting.

You aren't going to have as much as you were hoping. He will have more fun than he would have had if his best man wasn't coming. Your friend's sister will have more fun than she would have if her friend wasn't coming.

You are the host, it's within your right to set the boundary of the party. You can be like martha stewart and set everything up perfectly in such a way that you know each guest will have a better time than they imagined. Or you can be like most people and allow guests some latitude in how the party goes so they can assure themselves of their happiness.

Unless you had a terrific plan that you know would blow your guest's socks off, you should lean towards letting them bring their own fun to the party.


#45

Norris

Norris

Dave said:
I didn't see the post above mine because it wasn't there when I posted mine. But my sentiment remains basically the same. You seem to have some resentment against the guy for hanging out with the dude who was the Best Man at his wedding. Look at the way you are portraying him.
Click to expand...
Because I want him to hang out with the guy who got ordained for, wrote the "beautiful" text of, and performed his wedding. I'd like to think that I've earned at least a little consideration in the pantheon of friends.

What these say to me - right or wrong: "I'm her friend not necessarily his friend." "He didn't really want to come but she's making him." "He sees this guy all the time so I don't see why he can't leave him by himself for a couple hours."
Click to expand...
He does like me, he does want to come, but we're not personally close enough friends where that last part would be assumed. And when I asked him what date/time would be good for him, he flat out said that his wife was in charge in that department and he just shows up. His wife thinks we would be pretty good friends if we had the time to hang out...which we don't.

The more you talk the more you paint him as selfish, which is your way of trying to justify your own feelings.
Click to expand...
I think he is being a little...not selfish, but insensitive. Let me explain by telling you the gifts I got them:
  • Mrs. M - A copy of the Far Side book I saw her reading back in middle school, which is what made me start talking to her in the first place. I wrote a little hand written deal explaining that without this book, my life would be much different and likely not for the better.
  • Mr. M The Seaman - A copy of Kevin Smith's latest movie on DVD. The first words he ever directed at me ("I'm gonna kill you mother fucker") were typed while I ask IMing his wife when I got home from seeing that flick. A note mentioning that story and telling him I'm glad we've gotten beyond the facetious death threat portion of our association.
  • Miss W - A custom made Mr. Hanky The Christmas Poo stuffed animal sewed by my sister. Note explains that I knew we'd be good friends the moment we shared a dirty joke* at her sister and brother-in-law's expense just by making eye contact. Plus That's My Bush and Baseketball on DVD.
Does that at all explain the vibe I was trying to go for here? Is it at least a little understandable I would feel this way based on the personal meaning of each gift?
But as you've already changed the invitations, these projections are a moot point. You did the right thing and are fighting through the irrational feelings you are having. And yes, I think you are in the wrong for wanting to keep him all to yourself. That's not how friendship works.
Click to expand...
Fair enough.

stienman said:
Now that I think about it, it's almost sounding like he doesn't want to come, but since he has to he'd like to bring his friend so he knows he'll have someone fun there for him.
Click to expand...
Well if that is the case, then I'd best just cancel the damn thing. If he's feeling obligated enough to lie about liking me and looking forward to seeing me over Christmas break, then me and his wife must be real tyrants. [/sarcasm]


You aren't going to have as much as you were hoping. He will have more fun than he would have had if his best man wasn't coming. Your friend's sister will have more fun than she would have if her friend wasn't coming.
Click to expand...
Again, he's seemed to have enough fun the other times we've hung out. He said he would install a program on my computer that would let him tech support it from Virginia, which is a pretty big gesture for someone you don't have fun hanging out with. And the last time Miss W's boyfriend joined us, he didn't really join the conversation much...but they did kind of cuddle in the booth the whole time so point taken.


You are the host, it's within your right to set the boundary of the party. You can be like martha stewart and set everything up perfectly in such a way that you know each guest will have a better time than they imagined. Or you can be like most people and allow guests some latitude in how the party goes so they can assure themselves of their happiness.
Click to expand...
If someone really doesn't want to hang out with me, I'd rather than say so than lie.


*In our defense, when asked how spending a week with her husband went, "We ate out a lot" is just begging for "I bet you did" in response when a couple is as open about their sex life as they are.


#46

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

"They will spend time with me, they must! I do so much for them! I helped perform their wedding! Their debt to me must be paid! What's this? Share them? No! They're mine! You can't have them, I won't have it! Fine fine you can come but you will get NO SWEETIES! The sweeties are for ME and for MY FRIENDS! You sit there are watch, I'd rather you didn't participate but I most tolerate your presense in my father's house..... for now!

*Disclaimer, I'm not saying that's how you meant it Norris, I'm beginning to learn to read between your lines a bit better and understand that you really don't meant to come off that way, but I have a feeling that little piece above is how you must seem to some people. ;)


#47

Norris

Norris

Amorous Eyes said:
Do they even have ANY idea that was the exact vibe you were going for here? I'm guessing on no. Don't expect the same thoughtful gifts in return. You cannot place expectations like that on people when they have no idea you had very specific plans for this evening.
Click to expand...
I'm expecting no gifts. I've told them that I am getting them stuff, and it would be really nice of them to get me something, but I'm doing this to make them happy. I had been looking forward to seeing the looks on their faces (Mrs. M's roommate's face lit up like a kid on Christmas when she saw I got her The Room) but as long as they get them and are happy.

Am I understanding this correctly that you initially wanted to have a Christmas dinner with just his wife?

Also, seriously, you cannot treat your best friend this way. You're coming across as a jealous boyfriend here!
Click to expand...
What? No! It was always the three of them. I've been planning to buy all of them Christmas gifts pretty much since the wedding. There exists a standing invitation that inviting one means all three are welcome. Same thing goes for her roommates (ideally, they could have come too but they live too far away when not at school). The fact of the matter is that I wanted this to be a special occasion and I barely know Best Man or Boyfriend. I wanted this to be the people I'm close to. They felt differently, and I've rolled with it albeit reluctantly.

Seriously now? >.>
Click to expand...
Find me one person who enjoys being told their feelings are invalid and childish and I will rescind that.

You are obviously overthinking this thing way too much and placing unrealistic expectations on this event. You could have said "no" right away when he asked, and explained why. They could have made arrangements for the Best Man to do something else for a few hours, not that hard. So don't be a passive aggressive dick now that you said yes. You will STILL get to spend time with the other people as well.
Click to expand...
I could have said no, but then (as this thread as state a dozen times) I would have been an unreasonable dick. I'm not about to get all drippy "but I got you guys special personal Christmas gifts" to a fucking 6' 2" helicopter mechanic enlisted man in the U.S. Navy. I like to at least pretend to live up to some of the cultural expectations of a straight male aside from "romantically attracted to women" and "wears men's clothing", thankyouverymuch.

Shegokigo said:
*Disclaimer, I'm not saying that's how you meant it Norris, I'm beginning to learn to read between your lines a bit better and understand that you really don't meant to come off that way, but I have a feeling that little piece above is how you must seem to some people. ;)
Click to expand...
Then let me rephrase this - I think of Mrs. M like family. Not like a sister, but like a really close cousin. I love her, I love her husband, I love her sister. These are people I love (in the familial/friend sense). They know this. They don't necessarily feel exactly the same way, and I know that. So to me, this feels is like if my cousin's husband invited his buddy along to our Christmas. It is emphatically not that, but that is what it feels like to me.


#48

LittleSin

LittleSin

Norris said:
Oh screw you. Seriously, NO ONE has ever tried to have a small and meaningful Christmas gathering restricted to people you love? That doesn't happen? I'm the only one?.
Click to expand...
I have had that. I make it abundantly clear what is the intended function. Not in a mean bossy way, either. "Hey, I was thinking that you, Beth, Steve and I can get together on <whatever> and have a small gift opening and watch Christmas movies1 It would just be a the four of us, we can mellow and catch up! No parties. :)"


Norris said:
I would see that completely unacceptable. You're the host, you should have complete control of the guest list. I personally can't stand gigantic parties where you don't get to talk to anyone on any meaningful level and would never throw one myself.
Click to expand...
Indeed, I am the host...but I'm also a person that has found that change and surprise can be the best things ever! 20 people isn't a huge party! It's an oppurtnuity to have fun! I don't like big parties either however, there is a good energy in a group of like minded people. A warmth and apprecitation that you won't find in a group of four.



Norris said:
According to this thread then, you're noninclusive.
Click to expand...
Where are you getting this from? People are saying you are being non inclusive because you sound uber-passive aggressive by delaring he can't expect drinks or hospitality from you. Not a stupid gift. I don' t think anyone is saying your being a dick for not getting a gift.


#49

Jay

Jay

....so, did you hook up with that girl yet or you still performing your masonic secret self handshake?


#50

Norris

Norris

LittleSin said:
I have had that. I make it abundantly clear what is the intended function. Not in a mean bossy way, either. "Hey, I was thinking that you, Beth, Steve and I can get together on <whatever> and have a small gift opening and watch Christmas movies1 It would just be a the four of us, we can mellow and catch up! No parties. :)"
Click to expand...
How does "Walker Ministries Christmas Party, only 3 guests, get gifts and watch a movie, don't bring your boyfriend" not express that?

Indeed, I am the host...but I'm also a person that has found that change and surprise can be the best things ever! 20 people isn't a huge party! It's an oppurtnuity to have fun! I don't like big parties either however, there is a good energy in a group of like minded people. A warmth and apprecitation that you won't find in a group of four.
Click to expand...
20 people is a HUGE party! My idea of a good time, as evidenced by my birthday parties in high school, is six to eight of my absolute best friends eating snacks, playing video games, and watching a movie. If I don't feel comfortable making an ass of myself playing Just Dance in front of you, then I don't want you at my party.

Then again, my idea of a wild Friday night is me and Mrs. M and her roommates going to see a cult classic at 11 PM at the local theater. I'm a homebody.

Where are you getting this from? People are saying you are being non inclusive because you sound uber-passive aggressive by delaring he can't expect drinks or hospitality from you. Not a stupid gift. I don' t think anyone is saying your being a dick for not getting a gift.
Click to expand...
" There will be no booze, I hope he doesn't mind not getting a gift, and I hope he enjoys this cheesy old Christmas movie." That is, rephrased, the statement people found egregious.

Jay said:
....so, did you hook up with that girl yet or you still performing your masonic secret self handshake?
Click to expand...
Asked her out, got a polite no thanks, later explained that what y'all advised was probably interest was really just friendly advice. Things would have been less awkward if I never asked her out in the first place, as the next time we hung out she seemed oddly hostile towards me. Things are back to normal now. But that isn't what this thread is about.


#51

Dave

Dave

If I was invited to a party and someone said, "Don't bring your girlfriend/wife/whatever." I'd politely decline.


#52

Norris

Norris

Dave said:
If I was invited to a party and someone said, "Don't bring your girlfriend/wife/whatever." I'd politely decline.
Click to expand...
Telling a high schooler that I'm uncomfortable inviting her boyfriend because I'm not intending to get him a present and I barely know him isn't quite the same as "don't bring your wife".


#53

LittleSin

LittleSin

You are really hung up on this present thing.


#54

Dave

Dave

High schooler? Okay, that's different. I thought it was college age and above. Yeah, that's not out of line.


#55

Norris

Norris

LittleSin said:
You are really hung up on this present thing.
Click to expand...
Well yeah. I put thought and effort into picking out these gifts. I want them to enjoy them. I was careful to buy Mr. M's gift at Best Buy (and not amazon) so he'd be able to return it anywhere easily if he got a duplicate. The gift giving was the impetus for the get together being planned as it was in the first place - that is to say: in the door, give them gifts, then watch a movie or play Just Dance or shoot the shit or whatever. It would also be the height of rudeness (not your guys' opinion, mine) to give three out of five attendees presents and make the other two watch them open them, thus requiring me to nix the gift giving at the gathering all together. Thus removing the impetus for gathering at my home, with my DVD player and Wii. Thus moving us to just hang out at Steak N Shake, something that could have been arranged via text message the day of.

Dave said:
High schooler? Okay, that's different. I thought it was college age and above. Yeah, that's not out of line.
Click to expand...
Yeah, no if this were even one year from now he'd be invited no questions. But I hold skepticism that they will make it past next Thanksgiving (and the traditional long distance relationship "Turkey Drop") , so not this year.

Sorry. I thought I'd mentioned that, but the only clue i think I dropped was "school night". Sorry.


#56

strawman

strawman

Shegokigo said:
you will get NO SWEETIES!
Click to expand...
:(


#57

LittleSin

LittleSin

Norris said:
Well yeah. I put thought and effort into picking out these gifts. I want them to enjoy them. I was careful to buy Mr. M's gift at Best Buy (and not amazon) so he'd be able to return it anywhere easily if he got a duplicate. The gift giving was the impetus for the get together being planned as it was in the first place - that is to say: in the door, give them gifts, then watch a movie or play Just Dance or shoot the shit or whatever. It would also be the height of rudeness (not your guys' opinion, mine) to give three out of five attendees presents and make the other two watch them open them, thus requiring me to nix the gift giving at the gathering all together. Thus removing the impetus for gathering at my home, with my DVD player and Wii. Thus moving us to just hang out at Steak N Shake, something that could have been arranged via text message the day of.
Click to expand...
Okay...so let's say you have a girl friend. You've been dating her about a year and he best friend is having small get together/present pass. You're invited by-proxy because, well, your important to your girlfriend.

You go, the presents are handed out, but you and one other guy don't get one because the host is not particularly connected to you or the other guy. How do you feel?

Do you understand because you were just invited by the good grace of the host?

Or do you think that's rude?


#58

strawman

strawman

LittleSin said:
Okay...so let's say you have a girl friend. You've been dating her about a year and he best friend is having small get together/present pass. You're invited by-proxy because, well, your important to your girlfriend.

You go, the presents are handed out, but you and one other guy don't get one because the host is not particularly connected to you or the other guy. How do you feel?

Do you understand because you were just invited by the good grace of the host?

Or do you think that's rude?
Click to expand...
He thinks that's rude, which is why he's no longer giving presents at the party, and moved it to a location that better fit the new party's size.


#59

LittleSin

LittleSin

stienman said:
He thinks that's rude, which is why he's no longer giving presents at the party, and moved it to a location that better fit the new party's size.
Click to expand...
I understand that part. I'm just wondering if holds others to the same ideals as he does himself.


#60

Norris

Norris

LittleSin said:
Okay...so let's say you have a girl friend. You've been dating her about a year and he best friend is having small get together/present pass. You're invited by-proxy because, well, your important to your girlfriend.
Click to expand...
It is mainly Best Man whose feelings I am considering. I had been waffling on inviting Boyfriend and telling him (jokingly) that his gift was being let into my house until I decided to have my sister make his lady a Mr. Hanky stuffed animal. Then it just seemed weird.

As an aside, my Ex's friends hated me so I don't really have much of a frame of reference on interacting with a sig-oth's friends.

You go, the presents are handed out, but you and one other guy don't get one because the host is not particularly connected to you or the other guy. How do you feel?


Do you understand because you were just invited by the good grace of the host?

Or do you think that's rude?
Click to expand...
I would, personally, feel as though that I had invaded what was intended as a personal moment if the gifts came with the little cards like mine will. I would feel tremendously awkward. I would it had been rude for me to come along when clearly I hadn't been meant to be there in the first place. I'd possibly even be a little miffed at my girlfriend for bringing me to what was supposed to be a thing for her and her friends, independent of me.

But I do believe that we've established I'm not the world's best baseline. My goal in life is to make as few waves as is humanly possible, cause as little conflict as I can, keep things the way they are, keep the circle small.


#61

LittleSin

LittleSin

Well, how about just buy him a small Christmas card? :) It's not a full blown gift..but it is a good to make a person feel welcomed and shows that you thought of their inclusion in the festivities.


#62

Norris

Norris

LittleSin said:
Well, how about just buy him a small Christmas card? :) It's not a full blown gift..but it is a good to make a person feel welcomed and shows that you thought of their inclusion in the festivities.
Click to expand...
Or we'll just all go to Steak N Shake and I'll hand Mr. & Mrs. M a box with presents in it as they leave? I mean, they do all live at her parents house when he's up here, not like they won't get the stuff that way. They'll open them when they feel like it (probably Christmas itself) and I'll get a text or a facebook message or just a thanks when I next see them. Not what I'd hoped for, but its becoming apparent those hopes were somewhat unrealistic.


#63

LordRendar

LordRendar

Give them a present and tell the Best Man,"sorry dude,but I couldnt get you anything on such short notice.Have a beer and welcome to my place."
Done.No drama,no hassle and you might have found a new friend.


#64

Bowielee

Bowielee

LordRendar said:
Give them a present and tell the Best Man,"sorry dude,but I couldnt get you anything on such short notice.Have a beer and welcome to my place."
Done.No drama,no hassle and you might have found a new friend.
Click to expand...
I wouldnt recommrnd the beer as it sounds like hes under age, then again, for all i know all parties involved are.


#65

LordRendar

LordRendar

oh...didnt see that he was underage."Well,have a coke/cider/drink and welcome to my place" as alternative.


#66

LittleSin

LittleSin

HE isn't underaged. The sister is. His house just has drinking ban for a reason he doesn't feel comfortable getting into/or doesn't understand.


#67

strawman

strawman

Well, you never know. Maybe these guys are all trying to help you gain new friends and expand your social circle. It can only do you good.

Also, keep in mind they are your friends because they like being with you. It's nice to pick out a restaurant that you know they already like. It's nice to pick out gifts that are meaningful due to events in the past.

But it's great to take them out to restaurants you specifically like. It's great to give them gifts that will become cherished memories, rather than gifts that recollect cherished memories.

I'm not saying what you're doing isn't good, but it does tend towards living in the past, and avoiding change and new experiences.


#68

Vrii

Vrii

Just to be clear, my point wasn't that you'd be unreasonable not to give gifts, or to ask the extra guy to bring his own bottle or whatever. That's completely within your rights as host, and nobody should be put out by it. I just took issue with Makare trying to paint a willingness to open the door as being the highest level of generosity.


#69

Norris

Norris

Vrii said:
Just to be clear, my point wasn't that you'd be unreasonable not to give gifts, or to ask the extra guy to bring his own bottle or whatever. That's completely within your rights as host, and nobody should be put out by it. I just took issue with Makare trying to paint a willingness to open the door as being the highest level of generosity.
Click to expand...
Ah, fair enough. I agree there.

Clarifications on age -
I am 21.
Mrs. M is 21.
Mr. M is 24.
Best Man is 24.
Miss W is 17.
Her boyfriend is 17.

Clarifications about the booze - I don't drink, so I wouldn't keep alcohol in the house for myself. My father has recently cut way back (to almost nothing but unopened expensive shit) on what he keeps in the house. I don't know why exactly, but I have my suspicions and I don't feel like asking.

Clarifications about Best Man - I know him. I've spent time with him, albeit very limited. We're friends on Facebook and he is a frequent commenter on links to politics stories. He's a good dude, I don't dislike him. That is not the problem here. Any other time, I wouldn't have been bothered. But this fucking Christmas, y'know? I was trying to celebrate the holiday with some dear ones, not just hang out with some folks I get along with (which is what it has turned into).

LordRendar said:
Give them a present and tell the Best Man,"sorry dude,but I couldnt get you anything on such short notice.Have a beer and welcome to my place."
Done.No drama,no hassle and you might have found a new friend.
Click to expand...
Or I could, you know, move the festivity to a favorite hang out spot and just hand off the presents. That's also no drama no hassle no awkward. And a week's notice isn't short enough to justify not having a present.


#70

Tress

Tress

Vrii said:
Just to be clear, my point wasn't that you'd be unreasonable not to give gifts, or to ask the extra guy to bring his own bottle or whatever. That's completely within your rights as host, and nobody should be put out by it. I just took issue with Makare trying to paint a willingness to open the door as being the highest level of generosity.
Click to expand...
Basically the same way I felt.


#71

Espy

Espy

Amorous Eyes said:
So are they?
Click to expand...
This.


#72

Gusto

Gusto

Peace, love, and goodwill towards man.

'Tis the season, after all.


#73

Norris

Norris

Amorous Eyes said:
So are they?
Click to expand...
Dinner at Steak N Shake with three people I hold dear and two guys I don't dislike isn't exactly the same thing as giving three dear friends thoughtful Christmas gifts under light of the Christmas lights and mini tree in my basement and then watching a Christmas movie. The latter screams Christmas at the top of its lungs, the former is what we try to do whenever we're all in town.


#74

LordRendar

LordRendar

Norris said:
Or I could, you know, move the festivity to a favorite hang out spot and just hand off the presents. That's also no drama no hassle no awkward. And a week's notice isn't short enough to justify not having a present.
Click to expand...
Is he gonna give you a present?


#75

Gusto

Gusto

I celebrate Christmas with a potluck and Yankee Swap gift exchange with my high school friends every year, and have since 11th grade. Around 8 yeas now.

Boyfriends have come and gone, people have started college/university both in and out of town. People have left the country for a year or more, moved across the country or continent, gained and lost boyfriends or girlfriends, and so on.

Suffice it to say, it has never been the same since we left high school. It's impossible to get everyone together at the same time, and at least one person is always missing from the party. New people are added or removed as boyfriends or girlfriends come out of the picture. Sometimes people change their food or alcohol proclivities, or can't afford to give gifts.

This is life.

I guess my point is that getting hung up on your perception of what this party "should" be isn't gonna help. If you go into it with an open mind I'm sure you'll ave a great time, or at least a better time than if you go to the restaurant/bar with a pissy attitude because the planets didn't align and the super-unlikely combination of events that would culminate in your perfect Christmas wasn't possible. I think what's gonna cause this event to fail NOW isn't that there are extra people there, it's that you're gonna go into the event thinking that "everything is ruined forever.

What I'm trying to say is lighten up, try to have a good time, and realize that if you get to spend time with your loved ones, that should be great enough.


#76

Norris

Norris

LordRendar said:
Is he gonna give you a present?
Click to expand...
No one is getting me any presents, to my knowledge.


#77

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

Norris said:
under light of the Christmas lights and mini tree in my basement
Click to expand...
Sounds lovely...


#78

LittleSin

LittleSin

Shegokigo said:
Sounds lovely...
Click to expand...
Really though. That must be the KING of mini trees. :D


#79

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

No, I'm sure the basement is very large and inviting. I know mine is.... plenty of space to work with.


#80

LittleSin

LittleSin

Shegokigo said:
No, I'm sure the basement is very large and inviting. I know mine is.... plenty of space to work with.
Click to expand...
Do you decorate with plenty of red?


#81

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

Oh I deck the halls with it.

"Fa la la la la, la la la, AHHHHHHH!"


#82

Norris

Norris

I have no idea what the hell turn this has taken, but there's a mini tree on the bar (with built in lights) and lights strung up along the walls. And a small electric "fireplace" on one wall. And my sister always hangs up decorations for her party. Really, it gets quite cozy around Christmas time.

There's also my sister's name in giant letters on poster boards hung up on one wall.


#83

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

I was just making an off centre topic remark.

I think the main topic ran it's course. You changed attitude and venue and all is fine now.


#84

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

I'm really disappointed no one has said it yet.

You've failed me, Halforums.


#85

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy



#86

strawman

strawman

Ravenpoe said:
I'm really disappointed no one has said it yet.

You've failed me, Halforums.
Click to expand...
We usually wait until page four these days.


#87

Mathias

Mathias

Norris said:
The only thing he wasn't going to be included in was getting a gift. I'm not going to rush out, drop $20 (since that is what I spent on everyone else) on something tailored to how I met him or what I appreciate about our friendship (because I barely know him, but that's what I did for everyone else), and write a hand written personal note explaining the significance (since I don't expect everyone to remember things from years ago) just so someone I didn't invite can feel more included when I give my best friend, her husband, and one of my other best friends their Christmas presents. So I nixed the gift giving, I'll just be boxing them up and they can open them whenever, in private.

Additionally, for various reasons, there was never going to be any alcohol. When it's just Mrs. M's husband, I can explain to him why and he can deal with it. But these two guys together like to drink. Middle of the night, two in the afternoon, doesn't matter - they'll have a can of beer when relaxing. So, when it was still at my house, I felt awkward about having them over without offering any (which I have reasons for not doing).





I am the goddamned host. This whole thread has been devoted to telling me that it is not really at my discretion if I want to be a good host. I had already told Mrs. M's sister that I wasn't sure bringing her boyfriend was a good idea, since I wasn't going to get him anything. She understood, but now that Best Man is coming I can't rightly say that anymore, so he's invited. Since two people I did not buy gifts for (and who would likely be somewhat ill at ease if I did anyways, considering I've met them both once) are now coming, I decided to nix the gift giving. Since that got nixed, there wasn't much reason to hold it in basement anymore since my dad doesn't stock much more than our family of three needs, I can't afford to buy much, and my sister's Christmas party the night before will clean us out. So I decided that moving it to Steak N Shake, Mrs. M and Miss W's favorite restaurant and a frequent hang-out spot for this crowd, was for the best. I've complained about it here, since this is not what I wanted it to be (I wouldn't have planned it two weeks in advance or scheduled it when I did if it was just fucking around at Steak N Shake), but all they know is "hey, sure, bring more people and let's do it at Steak N Shake".

All right? I've opened it up to the people they wanted to bring. I've changed the venue to be more inclusive. I've nixed the gifts, which were initially the whole fucking point of the proceedings, to be more inclusive. All reluctantly, I admit, but it was done. Where exactly am I being a bad host?
Click to expand...

Alright you're the host. I to re-read all this shit. It's hard to keep track of Mrs. W's, Best Man, and the like...

The dude gave you a week in advance. What's wrong with just giving them gifts at your place with Best Man guy there too? You're supposed to give him a gift? Buy him a Hickory Farms sausage pack. Sounds like you want an intimate evening in your parents' basement with a married woman and her husband? How much planning was really ruined here? I think you're being an idiot.


#88

Necronic

Necronic

It's beginning to look a lot like a Norris thread

....now you have that song stuck in your head don't you?

---

Anyways, Norris are you an only child?


#89



makare

I think this is the first time I remember seeing Norris what exactly constitutes a Norris thread?

It seems like any other Halforums thread from what I can see.


#90

Mathias

Mathias

It's actually pretty fucking creepy.
Norris said:
Dinner at Steak N Shake with three people I hold dear and two guys I don't dislike isn't exactly the same thing as giving three dear friends thoughtful Christmas gifts under light of the Christmas lights and mini tree in my basement and then watching a Christmas movie. The latter screams Christmas at the top of its lungs, the former is what we try to do whenever we're all in town.
Click to expand...


#91

strawman

strawman

makare said:
I think this is the first time I remember seeing Norris what exactly constitutes a Norris thread?

It seems like any other Halforums thread from what I can see.
Click to expand...
http://halforums.com/xenforo/thread...elter-i-dont-get-signals-dating-advice.26274/

It's where the "therapy" bit came from.

To fully enjoy it, you have to read through all 11 pages.


#92

Norris

Norris

Mathias said:
The dude gave you a week in advance. What's wrong with just giving them gifts at your place with Best Man guy there too? You're supposed to give him a gift? Buy him a Hickory Farms sausage pack.
Click to expand...
Let me reiterate - I don't have the money to buy him anything. I planned, budgeted for, and sought deals on the gifts I did buy. I'm not made out of money, and yes an extra $10-$20 could throw off my month. I also hate giving impersonal gifts like a Hickory Farms sampler or a Chia Pet or a gift card, but that's admittedly about fourth or fifth on the reason I'm not gonna get him a gift.

Mathias said:
Sounds like you want an intimate evening in your parents' basement with a married woman and her husband? How much planning was really ruined here? I think you're being an idiot.
Click to expand...
You mean the basement of the house in which I live. Yes, it is my family house owned by my father but I can count on one hand the college students I know who don't think of their parent's house as their home (especially at my school, which encourages the use of on-campus apartments). Not a lot of undergrads with a mortgage, asshole and I resent your implication that I'm a loser for it.

And yes, I'd hoped for an evening that fit any one of these definitions:
1.
associated in close personal relations: an intimate friend.
2.
characterized by or involving warm friendship or a personally close or familiar association or feeling: an intimate greeting.
...
4.
characterized by or suggesting privacy or intimacy; warmly cozy: an intimate little café.
5.
(of an association, knowledge, understanding, etc.) arising from close personal connection or familiar experience.
Click to expand...
With some people I cared about, not fucking dinner for six at Steak N Shake. If you I'm an idiot for wanting an actual Christmas celebration with some friends I care about, then I think you're Ebeneezer fucking Scrooge.

Mathias said:
It's actually pretty fucking creepy.
Click to expand...
I will tell my sister right away that her annual Christmas party (held every year with gift exchange, movie watching, and was the reason we started decorating the basement the last couple of years in the first place) is creepy. I will apologize to my dad's side of the family for the "creepy" Christmas dinners we had in that basement for fifteen years. Because everyone knows, basement = pervert.


#93

Mathias

Mathias

I find it hilarious that you're going so nuts over this, when everyone who's attending your party is probably not giving it a second thought.

A trip to the Hickory Farms kiosk would have saved you hella trouble. Really, your other gifts are pretty much the same level. Sorry to be mean.



#94

Necronic

Necronic

Thing is man, ultimately, you're being incredibly selfish. That's why I asked if you were an only child, because this is the kind of stuff they do.

Not being able to afford a present is no big deal (I mean like you said you're a student). Not being able to afford a little common courtesy so you can be a good host is a problem.


#95

Mathias

Mathias

Norris said:
Let me reiterate - I don't have the money to buy him anything. I planned, budgeted for, and sought deals on the gifts I did buy. I'm not made out of money, and yes an extra $10-$20 could throw off my month. I also hate giving impersonal gifts like a Hickory Farms sampler or a Chia Pet or a gift card, but that's admittedly about fourth or fifth on the reason I'm not gonna get him a gift.



You mean the basement of the house in which I live. Yes, it is my family house owned by my father but I can count on one hand the college students I know who don't think of their parent's house as their home (especially at my school, which encourages the use of on-campus apartments). Not a lot of undergrads with a mortgage, asshole and I resent your implication that I'm a loser for it.

And yes, I'd hoped for an evening that fit any one of these definitions:


With some people I cared about, not fucking dinner for six at Steak N Shake. If you I'm an idiot for wanting an actual Christmas celebration with some friends I care about, then I think you're Ebeneezer fucking Scrooge.


I will tell my sister right away that her annual Christmas party (held every year with gift exchange, movie watching, and was the reason we started decorating the basement the last couple of years in the first place) is creepy. I will apologize to my dad's side of the family for the "creepy" Christmas dinners we had in that basement for fifteen years. Because everyone knows, basement = pervert.
Click to expand...
You want to fuck your best friend. There I said it.


#96

Necronic

Necronic

I want to bang my best friend.

But she's also my girlfriend.


#97

strawman

strawman

Mathias said:
You want to fuck your best friend. There I said it.
Click to expand...
Even if he does, it's quite obvious he himself doesn't recognize it. Not sure why it's important to the discussion. If he was best friends with a guy, who was bringing his wife, and his wife wanted to bring her maid of honor, and there was no sexual tension between him and his buddy, would you come to a different conclusion?


#98



makare

Norris sometimes it is just better not to respond to some things. It doesn't help your case and it just gives an opening to jab at you more.


#99

Mathias

Mathias

And for the record, no, inviting a bunch of people to your basement for a party is not creepy. Getting all pissy because you can't spend a romantic evening with a married woman... (and her...husband) is beyond strange.


#100

Norris

Norris

Mathias said:
I find it hilarious that you're going so nuts over this, when everyone who's attending your party is probably not giving it a second thought.
Click to expand...
Yeah, guests don't traditionally give a gathering nearly as much thought as the host. And you seem to have missed a few posts - the issue was solved by post fucking 8. That's when i decided to ok the extra guest. Within the next couple of hours it mutated into six people at SNS and has stayed that way. All that's happened today was...I don't even know. Pretty pointless. I'm on my third day in a row of having the wearing of pants be a formality because I didn't really leave the apartment. Kind of bored.

A trip to the Hickory Farms kiosk would have saved you hella trouble. Really, your other gifts are pretty much the same level. Sorry to be mean.
Click to expand...
Because getting them presents that are, while on a budget, tailored to how I met them and things they like (and in one case, hand made by my sister) is exactly the same as getting them random shit from Hickory Farms with no thought put into it.

Necronic said:
Thing is man, ultimately, you're being incredibly selfish. That's why I asked if you were an only child, because this is the kind of stuff they do.
Click to expand...
What does that even mean?

Not being able to afford a present is no big deal (I mean like you said you're a student). Not being able to afford the common courtesy of being a good host is a problem.
Click to expand...
HOW AM I BEING A BAD HOST? Because I didn't want to invite people I barely knew to my Christmas party? Because I wasn't going to have my dad buy alcohol for us (because I certainly can't afford it and he doesn't keep it around anymore)? Because I moved the setting to a place everyone can enjoy and feel comfortable at and frees my dad from having to have both his children hold holiday gatherings at his house on consecutive days? What?


#101

Mathias

Mathias

stienman said:
Even if he does, it's quite obvious he himself doesn't recognize it. Not sure why it's important to the discussion. If he was best friends with a guy, who was bringing his wife, and his wife wanted to bring her maid of honor, and there was no sexual tension between him and his buddy, would you come to a different conclusion?
Click to expand...

Yeah, he probably wouldn't mind the maid of honor.


#102



makare

Goddamn it Norris....:facepalm:


#103

Norris

Norris

Mathias said:
You want to fuck your best friend. There I said it.
Click to expand...
Why must you insist that intimate must mean sexy times? I have no interest in fucking Mrs. M, or her husband. I wanted to have an evening with them like I would with my cousin and her husband and my other cousin (her brother). No topic of conversation off limits, very relaxed and comfortable, shared history but with stories worth telling, etc. Close. Personal. Meaningful. Familial. Platonic.

makare said:
Goddamn it Norris....:facepalm:
Click to expand...
I'm not just going to sit back and let people impugn my character. I don't care if it is a meaningless fight on the internet, I'm offended when people insult me.


#104

Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Norris said:
HOW AM I BEING A BAD HOST? Because I didn't want to invite people I barely knew to my Christmas party?
Click to expand...
Here's the thing.

If you had said "No, I really was looking forward to a night with a few close friends," maybe they would've thought you were being unreasonable, but because they're your friends they would've probably kept it to themselves and enjoyed the evening with you because they probably would have understood.

Since you said, "Yeah, bring him," what makes you a bad host is not accepting all the responsibilities that come with that. Those responsibilities do NOT include: changing the location, buying gifts, changing how you'll give gifts previously bought, buying alcohol, etc. The responsibilities you inherited were twofold: 1) Make him feel welcome by being positive about his presence. "Nice to see you again, what are you up to now, etc." Not being close, he would not have expected a gift. 2) Make your friends feel like they've done a positive thing by including one friend with another friend. You say you want to be close to dear ones... Give this guy a chance to be one of those dear ones. That's literally all you have to do to be not just decent, but the best host.

You accused Mathias of being Scrooge but you're the one who can't welcome a total stranger into an intimate celebration, so...

tl;dr: It's Christmas, you monster.


#105

Necronic

Necronic

Norris said:
HOW AM I BEING A BAD HOST?
Click to expand...
Because the guests you actually care about want this dude there. And you are more interested in not being slightly put out than in letting them have their friend along.


#106

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

I'd honestly be more weirded out if I went to a party hosted by someone I barely knew...and was given a present. You know what the best thing about parties are? Not about what you get them, getting wasted, or anything like that, it's about hanging out with people. From what I skimmed of the thread (because I really don't want to focus too much energy on another Norris-esque thread), you don't seem to have a problem with the guy. I don't see what the big honking deal is. You're blowing this way out of proportion. Just like you're blowing out of proportion pretty much everything everyone is saying...again.


#107



makare

Why do you care what these guys think anyway? You obviously don't agree with them. Their opinions are irrelevant to what you want and can do. Giving them more and more opportunities to bitch at you doesn't do anything to help you is my point. So if you think you are defending yourself you are mistaken.


#108

Norris

Norris

Chad Sexington said:
1) Make him feel welcome by being positive about his presence. "Nice to see you again, what are you up to now, etc." Not being close, he would not have expected a gift. 2) Make your friends feel like they've done a positive thing by including one friend with another friend. You say you want to be close to dear ones... Give this guy a chance to be one of those dear ones. That's literally all you have to do to be not just decent, but the best host.
You accused Mathias of being Scrooge but you're the one who can't welcome a total stranger into an intimate celebration, so...
Click to expand...
And since the event is still six days from now and no one but you bastards are privy to this line of thought, I've shirked neither of those obligations.
Added at: 18:59
ThatNickGuy said:
I'd honestly be more weirded out if I went to a party hosted by someone I barely knew...and was given a present. You know what the best thing about parties are? Not about what you get them, getting wasted, or anything like that, it's about hanging out with people. From what I skimmed of the thread (because I really don't want to focus too much energy on another Norris-esque thread), you don't seem to have a problem with the guy. I don't see what the big honking deal is. You're blowing this way out of proportion. Just like you're blowing out of proportion pretty much everything everyone is saying...again.
Click to expand...
By skimming it, you of course missed that I have welcomed not just Best Man but Miss W's boyfriend to the gathering, changed it to accommodation them better, and am still looking forward to it.
And I know I would feel tremendously awkward and out of place if I were at a party I hadn't been invited to and was the only person to not get a gift. Not in the "you shoulda got me something" way but in the "why did you bring me here" way.


#109

Chad Sexington

Chad Sexington

Norris said:
And since the event is still six days from now and no one but you bastards are privy to this line of thought, I've shirked neither of those obligations.
Click to expand...
But... but you have started to shirk it. There's time to change though. I'm not saying "put on a happy face and play nice". I mean literally want to be around him. Be happy, be grateful that he is coming starting now. Be excited to see him. That way, when you do, it will be legitimate pleasure. It's trite but negative thinking results in negative emotion. If you plan on a having a bad time, boy will you ever.


#110

blotsfan

blotsfan

Honestly, I just think you care too much about Christmas. I get that you planned on having a small gathering, but I don't see why it is such a big deal that it isnt. Your plan was to eat dinner, give gifts, and watch a movie. I'm sure the guy would understand if you apologized and said you couldn't afford another gift on such short notice. Other than that, I don't understand how an extra person that you like would make a difference. If he's the friends' best man, I doubt theres anything that would really be said in front of you that wouldn't be said in front of him. I can't imagine them having a different reaction to the gifts because other people were there. And watching a movie is just sitting there for an hour and a half without talking, unless if you want to make snide comments, but that doesn't sound very personal and intimate either. Basically, I don't see why you can't just forget Steak N Shake and have the same gathering with one or two extra people involved.


#111

Norris

Norris

makare said:
Why do you care what these guys think anyway? You obviously don't agree with them. Their opinions are irrelevant to what you want and can do. Giving them more and more opportunities to bitch at you doesn't do anything to help you is my point. So if you think you are defending yourself you are mistaken.
Click to expand...
Because I'm bored and lonely? Because I literally have nothing better to do today? Because some broken part of my brain refuses to let any challenge of my character go answered? I don't know. It has killed the shit out of some time today though.

Necronic said:
Because the guests you actually care about want this dude there. And you are more interested in not being slightly put out than in letting them have their friend along.
Click to expand...
The friend who is coming with them, you mean? The friend who I said "yes, bring him along" about?

Chad Sexington said:
But... but you have started to shirk it. There's time to change though. I'm not saying "put on a happy face and play nice". I mean literally want to be around him. Be happy, be grateful that he is coming starting now. Be excited to see him. That way, when you do, it will be legitimate pleasure. It's trite but negative thinking results in negative emotion. If you plan on a having a bad time, boy will you ever.
Click to expand...
I may not have been clear on this, but with the change of venue and attendant change in tone, I am looking forward to seeing everyone. I will be a part of their group. :) With the recent drift I've had from some of my friends from high school, you damn well better realize I'm happy to be included once more.


#112



makare

well as long as you are happy.. i guess?


#113

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Norris said:
And I know I would feel tremendously awkward and out of place if I were at a party I hadn't been invited to and was the only person to not get a gift. Not in the "you shoulda got me something" way but in the "why did you bring me here" way.
Click to expand...
You might think or feel that way, but they might not. All it takes is a "Sorry I couldn't get you guys something, too" and don't make a big deal about it because it's NOT A BIG DEAL. It's just a present.


#114

Norris

Norris

blotsfan said:
Honestly, I just think you care too much about Christmas. I get that you planned on having a small gathering, but I don't see why it is such a big deal that it isnt. Your plan was to eat dinner, give gifts, and watch a movie. I'm sure the guy would understand if you apologized and said you couldn't afford another gift on such short notice.
Click to expand...
It would still be awkward. Or I would feel awkward in the same situation.

Other than that, I don't understand how an extra person that you like would make a difference. If he's the friends' best man, I doubt theres anything that would really be said in front of you that wouldn't be said in front of him.
Click to expand...
The little sister and Mrs. M might not be so open about their highly personal funny stories. He wouldn't know a damn thing about what's been going on in Grand Rapids. Etc.

I can't imagine them having a different reaction to the gifts because other people were there.
Click to expand...
Its the personalized and somewhat gooshy notes that would be weird.

And watching a movie is just sitting there for an hour and a half without talking, unless if you want to make snide comments, but that doesn't sound very personal and intimate either. Basically, I don't see why you can't just forget Steak N Shake and have the same gathering with one or two extra people involved.
Click to expand...
MST-ing with friends is the best part of watching a movie, man. And which would you prefer - hanging out in some guy you met once's basement or hanging out at a restaurant you and friends hang out frequently? Besides, plan made. Stick to plan. I'm not Mitt Romney over here.


#115

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

It's extraordinary how omniscient Drifter was when posting the first reply to this thread. This is now the second epic trainwreck thread by Norris.


#116

LordRendar

LordRendar

I think everything that has to be said,has been said. It is up to him now and as usual nothing we say can change his mind.Sometimes I wonder if he is just a really good troll.
(Anybody have a Fry "Not sure if trolling,or just tremendously thickheaded" image?)


#117

Terrik

Terrik

ThatNickGuy said:
It's extraordinary how omniscient Drifter was when posting the first reply to this thread. This is now the second epic trainwreck thread by Norris.
Click to expand...
To echo sentiments in other thread:

Drifter, are you a wizard?


#118

Norris

Norris

How can my mind not be changed? I took the thread's advice by post 8. Posted proof in post 11. Further proof:


What exactly am I being thickheaded about? I admit that my initial expectations were overly specific, that I should have expressed them to my guests, and that there's a chance that Best Man wouldn't have felt left out (even though, having been in pretty much the same situation, there's a good chance he would have). But I solved the problem, created a solution everyone seems to be happy with, and didn't let my guests in on any of this. So far as they know, I opted to invite more people and decided my house was no longer the right venue. Ta-da.


#119

Shegokigo

Shegokigo

Norris said:
I'm not just going to sit back and let people impugn my character. I don't care if it is a meaningless fight on the internet, I'm offended when people insult me.
Click to expand...


#120

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Then stop making a big deal about it and go have a good time.


#121

Norris

Norris

ThatNickGuy said:
Then stop making a big deal about it and go have a good time.
Click to expand...
I will, just as soon as it is Sunday night at 5PM. Until then, I'm going to defend myself against accusations that I want to fuck someone I think of as family.

@Shego - Yeeeaahh. If I actually worried one lick about finals I might find something better to do (or raeg against), but as it is I'm having a "bathing and pants was optional, wasn't it" kind of day.


#122

Espy

Espy

Thats a ridiculous picture Shego. Cats can't use computers. :Leyla:


#123

Gusto

Gusto

Espy said:
Thats a ridiculous picture Shego. Cats can't use computers. :Leyla:
Click to expand...
Or talk!


#124

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Norris said:
I will, just as soon as it is Sunday night at 5PM. Until then, I'm going to defend myself against accusations that I want to fuck someone I think of as family.
Click to expand...
Or you could just chalk it down to Mathias being Chaz-like and walk away.


#125

Norris

Norris

ThatNickGuy said:
Or you could just chalk it down to Mathias being Chaz-like and walk away.
Click to expand...
That would require me to not take things way too personally. We both know that's not going to happen, it never has happened (in my decade of message boarding all over the net), and I've accepted this.


#126

Mathias

Mathias

Norris said:
How can my mind not be changed? I took the thread's advice by post 8. Posted proof in post 11. Further proof:


What exactly am I being thickheaded about? I admit that my initial expectations were overly specific, that I should have expressed them to my guests, and that there's a chance that Best Man wouldn't have felt left out (even though, having been in pretty much the same situation, there's a good chance he would have). But I solved the problem, created a solution everyone seems to be happy with, and didn't let my guests in on any of this. So far as they know, I opted to invite more people and decided my house was no longer the right venue. Ta-da.
Click to expand...
Sooo what's the point of this thread then?


#127

Gusto

Gusto

Norris said:
That would require me to not take things way too personally. We both know that's not going to happen, it never has happened (in my decade of message boarding all over the net), and I've accepted this.
Click to expand...

You might not be ready for the Internet, if that's the case.


#128

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Your "character" is already firmly impunged from the last time there was a "Norris advice" thread. You asked for the advice, it was given and (more or less) taken. Walk away.

That's what I'm doing:


#129

LordRendar

LordRendar


Im out.


#130

Norris

Norris

Mathias said:
Sooo what's the point of this thread then?
Click to expand...
Defending myself.


#131

Gusto

Gusto

I just went to read the dating advice thread since I missed it the first time around, and laughed when I saw Charlie answered it in the first reply and it lasted 11 more pages. Then I stopped.

This thread can end without outside intervention if a solution has been reached.

I'd actually be interested to hear Norris' post-mortem on Monday morning, on how the party actually went, if he feels so inclined. :)


#132

Mathias

Mathias

Norris said:
Defending myself.
Click to expand...

Added at: 19:51
Gusto said:
I just went to read the dating advice thread since I missed it the first time around, and laughed when I saw Charlie answered it in the first reply and it lasted 11 more pages. Then I stopped.
This thread can end without outside intervention if a solution has been reached.
I'd actually be interested to hear Norris' post-mortem on Monday morning, on how the party actually went, if he feels so inclined. :)
Click to expand...
You should totally lock the thread on the Picard facepalm.


#133

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Norris said:
Defending myself.
Click to expand...
You started the thread to have a non-problem with an obvious solution with the expected result of defending yourself, which was its purpose? That's deep.

As an aside, my Ex's friends hated me
Click to expand...
Can't imagine why.


#134

Norris

Norris

Gusto said:
I just went to read the dating advice thread since I missed it the first time around, and laughed when I saw Charlie answered it in the first reply and it lasted 11 more pages. Then I stopped.
Click to expand...
I was told that I should not date anyone until I seek therapy I can't for problems I don't agree I have. I don't think I need much more than Chris Hardwick's "The Nerdist Way" self-help book (because he sounds like someone who went through a number of the same problems I have without seeking therapy for anything other than alcoholism) to work on geting better, I eagerly await getting it for Christmas. :D

I will also point out that Charlie was wrong - Mads was emphatically not interested in me and was just giving friendly advice.


This thread can end without outside intervention if a solution has been reached.
Click to expand...
If?



I'd actually be interested to hear Norris' post-mortem on Monday morning, on how the party actually went, if he feels so inclined. :)
Click to expand...
Sure, but it will likely be boring. Prediction: we all met up around five, had dinner, shot the shit for three hours, tipped big, went home. Oh, and I gave Mrs. M a box with the presents in it on our way to our respective cars. Fun times."


#135

Gusto

Gusto

Mathias said:
You should totally lock the thread on the Picard facepalm.
Click to expand...
Nope, but if I DO lock this thread, I now have the perfect image in mind.


#136

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Norris said:
Sure, but it will likely be boring. Prediction: we all met up around five, had dinner, shot the shit for three hours, tipped big, went home. Oh, and I gave Mrs. M a box with the presents in it on our way to our respective cars. Fun times."
Click to expand...
Totally worth all the wringing of hands.
If you learn to loosen up, you'll have a better time of life in general. But that would mean changing yourself, and that goes to the no-no zone.
Added at: 19:58
Shegokigo said:
"They will spend time with me, they must! I do so much for them! I helped perform their wedding! Their debt to me must be paid! What's this? Share them? No! They're mine! You can't have them, I won't have it! Fine fine you can come but you will get NO SWEETIES! The sweeties are for ME and for MY FRIENDS! You sit there are watch, I'd rather you didn't participate but I most tolerate your presense in my father's house..... for now!
Click to expand...


#137

Gusto

Gusto

Okay lockin' it up.



Top