Rant VII: Now With 25% Less Drama

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makare

I don't know what it is because I live in a podunk town with podunk doctors and the only two doctors, apparently, who knew how to use the ultrasound machine were gone today. Then they were going to make me wait until Thursday but my mom, who drove four hours to be with me, said ah hell naw and if that was how they were going to be i was going up to the city north of here. So they moved it to tomorrow at 10.

I am not worried about lupus. I am worried about cancer. Mostly because you just never know. I hope it is just my gall bladder or something like that. But on the plus side I have vicodin.. woohoo.

I was given a prescription for vicodin and a prescription for antinausea meds. So the way I see it since I got quite ill from the Demerol the doctor basically gave me vicodin and a pill to keep me from getting sick off vicodin. God bless 'im.

Even though he came into the room and without introducing himself started poking and prodding me asking "does this hurt". First of all yes it does hurt that is why I am in the ER at 7 AM on a Sunday and two who the hell are you?!

Sigh.
 
I guess it is a good thing you aren't feeling well or you would have kicked him in the jimmy.
My bro, the skater and soccer player, had a snake bite. The quack doctors at a teaching hospital screwed up his calf in the life saving surgery. He ended up with an open wound there the size and shape of a large hand doing the "Hook'em Horns" hand symbol. The next doctor screwed up the skin graft.

So he basically had exposed, raw muscle and flesh with a few patches of skin going necrotic. During a later check up, a doctor kept touching that raw mass. My brother would jump a foot, and the doctor would ask... "Did that hurt?"

The third time he touched the open wound, my brother kicked him straight in the balls and asked... "Did that hurt?"

My mother could not stop laughing... It is still a popular family reunion story.
 

Dave

Staff member
Sounds like self defense to me. It doesn't take 3 pokes to the same region to discover if it hurts.
So you think the cops would not arrest this guy? The doctor will say, "I was just doing my job getting muh healinz on!" the kid wil say, "Self defense! He poked me!"

Cut to the cops believing the professional over the skater in 3...2...1...
 
Holy crap, Dave, it wasn't really meant to be a law discussion.

Good on him, Sixpackshaker. Can't say I blame him one bit.
 

Dave

Staff member
I know it's not really a discussion, but I'm shocked the doctor did nothing. But as Bones said, this was probably long ago in a better time when people didn't get charged with assault at the drop of a hat.
 
This was back around 1978. I still had my Star Wars T-shirt on in the family photos of the trip where he was bitten. He was around 12 at the time.

Everything about that trip and medical emergency ended up F*cked up beyond belief.
1. We walked in an area we were told to avoid.
2. We had to walk back to the campsite to get help.
3. No body believed that there were snakes on Galveston Island. It is the joy of being the first snake bite victim in recent memory.
4. There was no anti venom on the island.
5. My dad blew out both back tires as he got to the ranger station. One ranger took my brother and mother to the hospital and both of the rangers left a spare for my dad to use.
6. My dad gets pulled over for running 3 stop lights. Galveston still had old fashioned lights that were on the far right on vertical posts.
7. The cop did not believe that there was a snake bite victim, because no one has ever been snake bit in Galveston county.
8. Mom gets to John Sealy Hospital (now UMTB) the people did not think that my bro was snake bit, because no one has ever been snake bit in Galveston county.
9. No one knew how to treat the bit in Galveston. So one doc does an experimental operation, basically while reading it out of the New England Journal of Medicine.
10. They did not put my brother under for the procedure, so he ended up watching and feeling the whole thing.
11. The doc put the removed mass of flesh and muscle on the tray next to my brother's face. It did not quit twitching, so my brother threw up all over the OR.
12. Meanwhile back at camp. I was left alone to the tender mercies of my 2 older brothers. Who proceeded to show me the last ever Polaroid that would ever be taken of my favorite brother. "So whoooo is going to be your favorite brother now?"
13. Some bastard stole all the steel Coleman ice chests that had all our food in it for the next week, while the three sons were sleeping in the camper.
14. Dad gets back to enjoy a beer after a long night staying awake in the ER, to find his two coolers missing.
15. We ended up splitting up the brothers for a few months because there was not enough room to transport the hurt one with the other three. The two older ones were left with 2 different aunts. I got to go back with the parents home, on a 5 hour car ride. I got to be the nurse for the rest of the summer. I still hate emptying pee bottles.
16. The doctor that presented himself as a plastic surgeon was NOT. He screwed up the skin graft, and was the one that repeatedly poked the leg.
17. I did leave out that my bro yelled each time the doc touched his open wound. My mother was about to come across the table onto the fool.
 

fade

Staff member
The real story aside, I certainly hope a doctor would be good natured enough to shake off the nutshot and then kind of chuckle at the whole situation instead of pressing charges.
 
I woke up late, I didn't shower, I forgot my headphones. Today is NOT my day at all.

People oughta stay off of my case today or I will attack them with my bad smell.
 
I was super excited about going to a blues show downtown tonight. Then I double-checked the date and realized that the show is actually tomorrow. It wouldn't be so much of a disappointment if tomorrow night I weren't getting on a train to Krakow.

Oh well.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I was super excited about going to a blues show downtown tonight. Then I double-checked the date and realized that the show is actually tomorrow. It wouldn't be so much of a disappointment if tomorrow night I weren't getting on a train to Krakow.

Oh well.
Krakow?

Polish polkas, they're stupid and they're rotten
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that
Schweigen-reigen-schone-schutzen-schmutzen sau-er-braten!

... KEY CHANGE!!!!
 
Yep, Krakow. Me and a friend are going to spend two days there and then hit up Olomouc in the eastern Czech Republic on our way back to Prague.
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
Yep, Krakow. Me and a friend are going to spend two days there and then hit up Olomouc in the eastern Czech Republic on our way back to Prague.
Oooh, Krakow :) I love that place, spent a week there with my family a couple of years back. If you have a chance, visit the Wawel Castle for some fine architecture and a Renaissance feel. Kazimierz, the old Jewish district, is also worth a walk. And if you have some leeway in your travel plans, visit the Wieliczka salt mines in the Tatra Mountains, about 60 mi. from Krakow. A lot of the hotels organize tours there, and I promise you won't regret it. The huge underground Catholic chapel made entirely out of mineral salt is definitely worth a visit.

Just as long you don't lick the life-size statue of John Paul II. The locals don't like that.

And if there's a special someone... Poland is known for beautiful amber jewelry. Take a look; me, I got me an amber rosary for my clerical roles at the Medieval Market.
 
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