Rant VIII: The Reckoning

The people who renovated the basement of this house before we moved in were fucking idiots. They installed the toilet, THEN did the floor. So the wet concrete formed around the base. So now, decades later, when the wax ring has finally disintegrated to the point where the bathroom floods with every flush, I find there is no way I can replace the old toilet without hours of work on the floor first to level it out. And did I mention all but one of the bolts holding the toilet down are gone? And the last one is bent and has no bolt?

AAARRRGGGHHH...
 
The bolts are supposed to be replaced every time you replace the toilet anyway, so you should be able to get the appropriate bolts to replace the ones that were present.

As far as leveling, you might consider leveling concrete, but another option is to simply build a pedestal that lifts it off the floor a half inch. There are special toilet flange risers typically used when people add tile to their bathroom that extend the flange upwards a half inch or more, so install one of those, lay down a 2' x 2' sheet of water resistant plywood with a few strategic cutouts to account for the concrete, and you're good to go.
 
It was an emergency job that had to be done before I went to bed this afternoon. I was able to replace the wax ring, and put the toilet back. It no longer floods when flushed, but it doesn't drain well, if at all. Which was the original problem. And because of the shitty job the previous folks did, water squirts out the sides of the base.

And just as I'm typing this, word from mom and sister is that plumbing is covered under the home warranty my sister got for my mom a short while back. :)

So I've done all i need to do. I don't have to be the hero any more today. (there's the story about how I saved the hotel from burning and a guest from dying overnight, but I'm way too tired to post that now.)
 

fade

Staff member
Beware: home warranties often specifically exclude drain issues. We've had two from two different companies, and both excluded drains.
 
They also exclude problems that arise directly from bad installations. They won't cover someone else screwing things up in the first place.
 
Now that I've finally got the time and energy to tell my tale from Wednesday night...

About 1am, a guest comes down from the 2nd floor saying she smells something burning. Like someone overcooking popcorn. As I go into the lobby proper, I can definitely smell it. Like she said, burning microwave popcorn. As I go up the stairs towards their side of the 2nd floor, the smell keeps getting stronger. It's strongest by a couple of rooms as I pass by. First I check all the room doors with the back of my hand. All cool. Good first sign.

I go back to the desk and call the first suspect room. He answers, but isn't microwaving anything. Second room. No answer. I make a key to the room and go upstairs. Knock. No answer. I open the door. Room is full of smoke (but not so much you couldn't see anything), and guest is asleep/passed out on the bed in just his underwear. In the still running microwave is a charred black mass of... something. I stop the microwave and try to rouse the guest. He opens his eyes once to look at me then goes back to sleep. I exit the room so I can breathe, and call 911, requesting fire and rescue. I goo back into the room to retrieve the guest. He stirs when I try to wake him, but doesn't want to get up. I tell him he needs to leave the room NOW, because it's full of smoke. He's insisting nothing is wrong. I had to literally pick him up and DRAG him out of bed. He's passively resisting, not all that aware of his surroundings. I grab a shirt and pants off the floor and give it to him. He still doesn't want to go. I say I don't care if he's in his underwear, he needs to GET OUT NOW.

Finally, as I steer him towards the door, I scream at him that if he doesn't get out of the room that instant, he is going to DIE. Finally I get him out, and close the door behind me. He's now standing shirtless in the hallway with myself and the remaining bar staff. He keeps saying I'm crazy and there's nothing wrong. We keep trying to tell him how he nearly killed himself with whatever he was microwaving. Soon the VFD and then EMTs arrive to check on the situation. I leave them to their duties so I can go contact my superiors.

And that is the first contact I've ever had with the new GM. :U

Room isn't too bad off. Just full of acrid burnt stuff smoke. Guy checks out okay. EMT and sheriff see no reason to transport or detain, so I put him in a different room for the rest of his stay. I had to go up and insist that he change rooms. He didn't want to move at first, thinking everything was fine. I told him legally, he can't stay in that room, and I'd be checking up in a little while to make sure he did move. Which I did about 20 minutes later. He had.

And he spent the next day and a half apologizing to the bar staff who were there, and to me when he checked out.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
What's the point in staying alive in a world so full of hatred, anger, and despair?
Taking some of the shared responsibility of all decent people--serving as a reminder that love and goodness exist. Go out and do something nice for someone. It really helps.

I was in a bad way less than a year ago, feeling this kind of despair. The only thing that could pull me out of it was doing something for someone else.

I know how you feel, but at times like this you and all kind people are more important than ever. You're needed for hope and balance.

*hug*

You're loved.
 
What's the point in staying alive in a world so full of hatred, anger, and despair?
Because you're one of the good ones. The rare bright spot in a world filled with the stuff you mentioned.

And that's becoming a rare commodity in this world. There's too many bad people in the world. So it needs all the good people like you to can get.
 
What's the point in staying alive in a world so full of hatred, anger, and despair?
I've always been of the opinion that removing even one positive attitude from the world would result in a net increase in the amount of hatred, anger, and despair.
And that's something to be avoided whenever possible.

--Patrick
 
What's the point in staying alive in a world so full of hatred, anger, and despair?
Because the ones who love, do good in the world, and spread happiness need support so their light can shine through. It feels like an impossible task in the face of events like what happened in Paris and things that go on daily in other parts of the world. It is a drain on our emotions because we value life and hope for better from humanity. But if people give up, if we don't support one another especially when it feels like we've been drained of hope, then it means those who cause despair and anger and hatred are going to have more power. When we support each other and those who are trying to make things better, then the good in the world grows.

You aren't alone, Emrys. This has been difficult for many people, myself included. I got ya, sis. You can lean on me. I pitch a fit a lot in my journal over there, but I'm pretty resilient. I got fortitude for miles. >hugs<

Plus I need the loonies and toonies you're sending me. My kids don't believe they're real.
 

fade

Staff member
Why do people derive pleasure from pointing out that something is a quote or an aphorism? These things persist because they resonate. They resonate because they are distillations of common thought processes. It's okay to like them. You don't lose any internet cool points.
 
Thank you, everyone. I was in a really dark place this weekend and y'all helped me pull out of it. I love all of y'all.
 
What's the fucking point of any therapy if I have to come home to such a negative, condescending, judgmental environment? Either I feel constantly under pressure from my father to do something with my life or come up with a plan or even just get a job, or it's my mother constantly scrutinizing me on every little fucking thing. Worse, she laughs. Like yesterday, when I was feeling down. She asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. And she laughed. She FUCKING CHUCKLED. I finally lost it and asked her what was funny. She said that I was fine yesterday and didn't understand why I was down. So I asked again how that made it funny.

And she does this all the time. Oh, I slept in? Chuckle. Up early? Chuckle? Wear a certain shirt? Chuckle. Every single waking thing I do in this house is scrutinized, it's any wonder that I have no motivation to do anything.

And worse - worst of all - I can't do anything about it. Because believe it or not, she takes criticism worse than me. When I asked her why she laughed, she stormed off, saying something like "I swear to God, you and your father..." I can't say ANYTHING critical because she gets upset. It's any fucking wonder where I get it from.

I've never felt so trapped in my goddamn life. I can't find a job that's secure enough or pays well enough that I can live on my own. And I'm such a completely and utter emotional disaster that I can't come up with any kind of a plan. The question I hate more than anything is "Where do you see yourself in five years?" because I can't even see myself in five months, weeks, or even days. Hell, even hours sometimes. I can't plan or schedule.

So I'm stuck. I'm stuck in an unsupportive, toxic environment and I can't do a goddamn thing about it. This is it for me. This is my life. This is all I'm going to amount to. I'm 37, living with my parents, and that's it. Because it's so fucking hard to get your name out there as a writer, I won't make a name for myself. So there's no point, is there? There's no point anymore to anything.
 
What's the fucking point of any therapy if I have to come home to such a negative, condescending, judgmental environment? Either I feel constantly under pressure from my father to do something with my life or come up with a plan or even just get a job, or it's my mother constantly scrutinizing me on every little fucking thing. Worse, she laughs. Like yesterday, when I was feeling down. She asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. And she laughed. She FUCKING CHUCKLED. I finally lost it and asked her what was funny. She said that I was fine yesterday and didn't understand why I was down. So I asked again how that made it funny.

And she does this all the time. Oh, I slept in? Chuckle. Up early? Chuckle? Wear a certain shirt? Chuckle. Every single waking thing I do in this house is scrutinized, it's any wonder that I have no motivation to do anything.

And worse - worst of all - I can't do anything about it. Because believe it or not, she takes criticism worse than me. When I asked her why she laughed, she stormed off, saying something like "I swear to God, you and your father..." I can't say ANYTHING critical because she gets upset. It's any fucking wonder where I get it from.

I've never felt so trapped in my goddamn life. I can't find a job that's secure enough or pays well enough that I can live on my own. And I'm such a completely and utter emotional disaster that I can't come up with any kind of a plan. The question I hate more than anything is "Where do you see yourself in five years?" because I can't even see myself in five months, weeks, or even days. Hell, even hours sometimes. I can't plan or schedule.

So I'm stuck. I'm stuck in an unsupportive, toxic environment and I can't do a goddamn thing about it. This is it for me. This is my life. This is all I'm going to amount to. I'm 37, living with my parents, and that's it. Because it's so fucking hard to get your name out there as a writer, I won't make a name for myself. So there's no point, is there? There's no point anymore to anything.
what is there left to say? I dont think there are any words left that wont come off as hollow.
 
What's the fucking point of any therapy if I have to come home to such a negative, condescending, judgmental environment? Either I feel constantly under pressure from my father to do something with my life or come up with a plan or even just get a job, or it's my mother constantly scrutinizing me on every little fucking thing. Worse, she laughs. Like yesterday, when I was feeling down. She asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. And she laughed. She FUCKING CHUCKLED. I finally lost it and asked her what was funny. She said that I was fine yesterday and didn't understand why I was down. So I asked again how that made it funny.

And she does this all the time. Oh, I slept in? Chuckle. Up early? Chuckle? Wear a certain shirt? Chuckle. Every single waking thing I do in this house is scrutinized, it's any wonder that I have no motivation to do anything.

And worse - worst of all - I can't do anything about it. Because believe it or not, she takes criticism worse than me. When I asked her why she laughed, she stormed off, saying something like "I swear to God, you and your father..." I can't say ANYTHING critical because she gets upset. It's any fucking wonder where I get it from.

I've never felt so trapped in my goddamn life. I can't find a job that's secure enough or pays well enough that I can live on my own. And I'm such a completely and utter emotional disaster that I can't come up with any kind of a plan. The question I hate more than anything is "Where do you see yourself in five years?" because I can't even see myself in five months, weeks, or even days. Hell, even hours sometimes. I can't plan or schedule.

So I'm stuck. I'm stuck in an unsupportive, toxic environment and I can't do a goddamn thing about it. This is it for me. This is my life. This is all I'm going to amount to. I'm 37, living with my parents, and that's it. Because it's so fucking hard to get your name out there as a writer, I won't make a name for myself. So there's no point, is there? There's no point anymore to anything.

This breaks my heart and equally makes me rage.

I really am so sorry that you're stuck in that situation. :(

My one thought though, is that the point of therapy is to gain techniques/skills so that you can learn to thrive despite your environment. And it should give you a little comfort in learning that it's not all your fault. No matter what you tell yourself, there's no denying that you are NOT all to blame here.

It really really sucks. I'm hoping that you do continue therapy though. I don't think you're a lost cause, I think you have a lot to offer and so I hope things get better and you can eventually see that for yourself.
 
Fucking fuckers. After 13/11, the football match was cancelled. Now they've cancelled my university's yearly traditional celebration of its founding. This has been cancelled two times in history - 1914 and 1940 - twice after the German invasion. An "alternative" is offered in the form of a big party. These people aren't just idiots, they're profiteering idiots. The city has wanted to push our festival out of the city for ages, but failed - now they have an excuse. A 7.000 man parade is no harder to secure than a 7.000 man party in a hall - especially if all of those people have to come on just a few subway trains. Security-wise, the "alternative" is worse than what they're stopping. Blegh. This makes me angry.
Not only are we allowing the terrorists to win, these are our politicians taking advantage of the situation to impose their own will and push out "unwanted" activities. The Christmas Market - in pretty much the same location, but open to all instead of only to (former) students, and a symbol of Christianity and commercialism - can still go on as planned. Gah.
 
No, friend, I have more expertise in psychology than you do. One check mark in a list of warning signs does not mean a child should be labeled with psychopathology. Trust me there is more to becoming a serial killer/psychopath/sociopath than one action, despite what you choose to believe.
 
No, friend, I have more expertise in psychology than you do. One check mark in a list of warning signs does not mean a child should be labeled with psychopathology. Trust me there is more to becoming a serial killer/psychopath/sociopath than one action, despite what you choose to believe.
But this kid pulled the wings off a fly! He's going to be the next Hitler if we don't pump him full of drugs, NOW!
 
But this kid pulled the wings off a fly! He's going to be the next Hitler if we don't pump him full of drugs, NOW!
Coincidentally that's pretty much the situation without wanting to pump him full of drugs. This kid and his buddy have apparently killed a few "small animals" on the playground (I have no idea what kind of animals). Do I condone that? Of course not. Is it disturbing? A little. It's also gross and likely unsanitary.
As his teacher (or other school authority) I'd certainly discourage the kids from it. But to say they need to be watched closely since it's an early sign of psychopathy is ridiculous unless there are other specific behaviors to go with it.
 

fade

Staff member
I mean, all kids meet the diagnostic criteria for psychopathy to some degree. It's part of being a kid. Then when they figure out empathy, that's about the time they come to think of you as an overbearing jerk. So, uh, yay kids.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I mean, all kids meet the diagnostic criteria for psychopathy to some degree. It's part of being a kid. Then when they figure out empathy, that's about the time they come to think of you as an overbearing jerk. So, uh, yay kids.
I was a military brat. My family moved every 2 or 3 years. I went to a lot of different schools. But I did notice one thing that was constant, throughout the 80s and early 90s.

Every school had a "dog."

I don't mean an actual dog, I mean there was a female student at the school who was the designated social pariah, and in fact was more than once referred to explicitly as a "dog." She was treated cruelly by everyone, often insulted and degraded to her face, and perpetually mocked and slandered by the other students, often as a bonding ritual. Your estimation in the eyes of other students would go up the more you punched down at "the dog." And woe betide you if you ever stuck up for her, or defended her, or even acknowledged her as a human being in any way, because the others would turn against you as well.

The insults didn't make sense, either, and were often self-contradictory... she was always called ugly, smelly, flea-ridden, disgusting, etc etc yet at the same time was also supposed to be a slut, a tramp, promiscuous, had a boyfriend 5 years older than her, whatever.

I always felt really bad for whoever was the "dog." But I was also relieved it wasn't me, and was too afraid of becoming an abused outcast myself as well to call out what I plainly saw as wrong and unfair, because I was always the new kid, and my social status was tenuous. So, peer pressure and fear of social retribution kept me from doing anything to help, though once I figured out what was going on (I didn't notice the pattern until Jr. High, and sadly, previous to that I had of course gone right along with it to fit in), I tried not to add to the misery of whoever was the pariah.

Kids are fucking monsters.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Just to add one more thing to that, the South Park episode with "Damien the new kid" really resonated with me, but also made me uncomfortable. Damien, the new kid in south park is shunned for being weird (hey look, I spelled it right this time), and no matter what he does, he can't get acceptance from the other kids, and finds the only kid willing to be friends with him is the school's pariah, Pip. The two start to genuinely become friends, until Pip lets it slip that Cartman used to be the school pariah... until he started tormenting Pip. Damien puts 2 and 2 together, betrays Pip and abuses him in front of all the other kids, and gains immediate acceptance. Not a single thought is spared for Pip by anyone. That made me shift a little uncomfortably, as it was a teensy bit too close to home, from what I remember from being "the new kid" approximately 6 times between the ages of 6 and 16.
 
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