Rant VIII: The Reckoning

My brother just let me know as he was leaving town that he was leaving town.

I wanted to move back to the city to be closer to my family and now I'm the only left here. Two brothers in the NWT, mom in Calgary, dad wherever life takes him.

I didn't realize how much this would bother me.
 
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If it makes you feel better, I completely understand how you feel. When I was growing up I had my entire family here: grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and of course my brother. Over the last 20 years or so, they've all left and spread out all over the country. Now, it's just me and my parents in town. My brother is in Michigan, cousins in Texas and Oregon, aunts and uncles in Nevada/Illinois/Washington, and so on. My parents are planning to move within the next 2-3 years, leaving me as the sole Californian out of the entire extended family.

It's an odd and lonely feeling.
 
This is part of why my wife and I stopped pushing so hard to move to Wisconsin this year and/or in coming years. Turns out my parents really hate it there and intend to move (probably back to Washington) as soon as they can get out.
 
I'm so goddamn worn down. This weekend was hard on me, work is a morale-sucking pit right now and the people I usually go to are out of town or busy. Even my own parents! Agh!
 
A

Anonymous

Anonymous

Just learned that my cousin was euthanized a few weeks before becoming a grandfather.
 
I'm so goddamn worn down. This weekend was hard on me, work is a morale-sucking pit right now and the people I usually go to are out of town or busy. Even my own parents! Agh!
Same... except I haven't had a "weekend" in over a month. A single night off where I'm constantly watching the phone in case the new guy needs help isn't really a night off. Nor is getting up after just 2 hours sleep in case I'm needed for the afternoon shift only to be told I'm not.
 
And I'm paying for it now. First nitro pill in weeks, and it hasn't really helped much. I'm not in pain, but I don't feel well. By 6am I'm going to call the manager and tell him I need to go home NOW, and I need my two nights off for the week starting TONIGHT instead of Saturday. There's only so much covering I can do. I've hit the wall.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
Bad day. Finally took the math placement test I've been putting off since the end of last year, and didn't place well enough to get into College Algebra. So, not only do I have to take a remedial course, but if I'd just taken the test right away I could have gotten that course out of the way sooner. I didn't take the test earlier because I listened to all the people who said "you don't want to have to take the remedial course" and I tried to study for the test on my own and with a little help from my sister tutoring me. It wasn't enough, and now my college schedule is pretty much fucked.

Also, I didn't get cast in Love's Labour's Lost, so no acting for me.

This semester is off to a terrible start and it hasn't even begun.
 
I've mentioned many times around here that I'm a school teacher. What I don't often mention is that I have yet to get a permanent position. I'm fully qualified for it, with credentials to teach both English and history, but I haven't been able to actually get a truly permanent spot at a school. Instead, I've been a district's long term sub numerous times. In fact, I took over a class last year at the semester and finished out the year.

So here's my rant:

Towards the end of the semester, I was told there were going to be three (!!) positions opening up at that school. One history spot, and two English spots. Not only that, but I was told how great a job I had been doing and I scored numerous letters of recommendation. I thought that, while I was not guaranteed a position, I had a good chance and I would at least get an interview.

During the summer the jobs were posted on the state website, and I applied. I sent follow up emails and I was assured that they just hadn't done interviews yet, and I just needed to be patient. Then days of waiting turned into weeks. Still nothing.

Finally, the job listings were taken down. None of my emails were returned. I got complete silence, which I took as a sign that they filled the position and didn't want to tell me. Fucking cowards. I was angry (still am), and resolved to move on. Unfortunately I couldn't get a long-term position anywhere.

Today I get a call from the district. They want me to sub for an English class all next week (the first week of school!) at the same high school I was teaching last year. Why? "We have an open vacancy and need a sub for now." So apparently they have an open spot and they want me to temporarily fill in a position that should be mine to begin with.

I need the money, so I agreed. But I'm going to talk to a few people and figure out what the fuck is going on. Either they're more incompetent than I ever thought possible, or (and this is more likely) they are being complete assholes about this. If it's the latter case, I'm going to get my money's worth yelling at some people and then never come back.
 

Dave

Staff member
We just got all of our bills caught up. Got a phone call from my wife. Her position has been eliminated. My paycheck covers the bills but not the other pesky things like food or gas.

God damn it.
 
We just got all of our bills caught up. Got a phone call from my wife. Her position has been eliminated. My paycheck covers the bills but not the other pesky things like food or gas.

God damn it.
Hasn't this happened before? She seems to have her positions disappear at an alarming rate.
 
Trying to put Jun's immigration papers together so I can file for a K-1 immigration visa.

I can't....I can't figure this crap out. I need half a dozen forms and loads of proof and tax returns and medical checks and hundreds of dollars in filing fees. I don't even know where to begin. The instructions are vague enough to give you just a little bit of doubt and one screw up means a rejection or, at the very least, additional months of wait time tacked on to the case. I tried looking at this stuff this afternoon but I'm lost.


OR HOW ABOUT I JUST TAKE JUN TO MEXICO AND HOP OVER THE DAMN FENCE BECAUSE THAT SEEMS TO WORK A LOT EASIER.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Don't worry, it's not like any federal agency is actually interested in securing the border. Just have Jun cross into california, they have sanctuary cities to shelter illegals in case anybody actually gets it in their heads to enforce the law.
 

fade

Staff member
I know I have ranted about this before but I need to again. I cannot sell my house. It has been on the market for two freaking years. Two years. I am tired of viewer feedback telling me everything needs to be updated amd that its substantially overpriced. It's not. I'm already at a loss and it's at $98/sq ft. It's bargain priced. I know it's out of date but it is not a bad house. It is huge and full of light. It has the biggest back yard in the neighborhood. People walk in amd expect a 3100 sq ft updated dream house for $294,000 and that is never ever going to happen. Ever. It's a nice neighborhood and equivalently sized houses are in the $500,000 range when redone. You will not have to spend 206,000 to improve mine to that level. Yet people still come in amd waste my freaking time with fantasies of a Barbie dream home for this price and have the balls to click "substantially overpriced" on the feedback form when they realize it is exactly what it's priced as. I wish I has accepted that flipper's offer I ranted about back in may.[DOUBLEPOST=1377269960,1377269853][/DOUBLEPOST]And yeah I get the whole "your house is worth what someone will pay for it" thing before someone gives me that gem. That sentiment doesn't pay back the mortgage.
 
I know I have ranted about this before but I need to again. I cannot sell my house. It has been on the market for two freaking years. Two years. I am tired of viewer feedback telling me everything needs to be updated amd that its substantially overpriced. It's not. I'm already at a loss and it's at $98/sq ft. It's bargain priced. I know it's out of date but it is not a bad house. It is huge and full of light. It has the biggest back yard in the neighborhood. People walk in amd expect a 3100 sq ft updated dream house for $294,000 and that is never ever going to happen. Ever. It's a nice neighborhood and equivalently sized houses are in the $500,000 range when redone. You will not have to spend 206,000 to improve mine to that level. Yet people still come in amd waste my freaking time with fantasies of a Barbie dream home for this price and have the balls to click "substantially overpriced" on the feedback form when they realize it is exactly what it's priced as. I wish I has accepted that flipper's offer I ranted about back in may.[DOUBLEPOST=1377269960,1377269853][/DOUBLEPOST]And yeah I get the whole "your house is worth what someone will pay for it" thing before someone gives me that gem. That sentiment doesn't pay back the mortgage.
I'm in a similar boat...
 

fade

Staff member
Yeah for one year of that two, we rented it out. That was okay for covering the bills but its still a weight over my head. Our tenants were good but the next ones might not be.
 
Soooooo, my landlord wants me to get rid of the doomweasels. Yeah, right, like that's going to happen.

Who's got two thumbs and is going to be moving soon? :mad:
 
Ugh. So, I have this old friend I've known for about ten years. She's...well, let's just say that depression and anxiety is worse for her in some ways. Can't keep a job, lives with her parents, etc. Good person, but incredibly sensitive and over-emotional. More so than me, which I'm sure you all know is saying something.

Because of this over-emotional tendency, we've had the occasional falling out, like one 5 years ago where she chose to break all contact with me. We'd patched things up some time after that, but I noticed a few months ago that she removed me from Facebook. Again, whatever. She's had the tendency to have an "all or nothing" attitude about things, like deleting herself entirely from Facebook and such.

She messaged me this evening, however, demanding I delete a FIVE YEAR OLD LiveJournal entry where I named her for the above falling out. Seriously? For one, it's a FIVE YEAR OLD entry. Second, no one even looks at or uses LJ anymore (no one I know, anyway). Not with Twitter, Tumblr, etc. And with my own WordPress for shameless promotion. Third, what the hell's the point of bringing something up that was already water under the bridge? Jesus. Anyway, I edited out her name and sent her a more or less polite response. But cripes. There's over-emotional and then there's OVER-emotional.
 
Fuck cancer. It's not enough to just cut a lifespan in half, it has to make every living moment so miserable that you gladly poison yourself for moments of respite. Then you're left just weak enough that the next torturous cycle is just that much worse, unitil you realize that even though you may be missing 20 years of experience, but you get 20 years of suffering as some sick attempt to make you relieved to miss more of it.
 
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