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A podcast I listen to called Worst Year Ever, which leading up to 2020, is basically predicting how shit 2020 will be and holy fuck, is 2020 delivering right out of the gate.

This year is gonna be hard. Can't even enjoy College Humor Dropout for much longer seeing as they all got laid off, another Facebook scam victim.
 
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With the amount of spam and robocallers and even robotexts that I've been getting lately, I'm starting to wonder if there's a concerted effort somewhere along the line of an under the radar cyberattack.
 
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I've mentioned before that I have a female friend who gets me to proofread everything she writes for her job. If you don't recall, well, basically, I have a female friend who gets me to proofread everything she writes for her job, because I have good English and she doesn't. Anyway, recently it's escalated to her asking me to proofread some messages she's sending to a guy, because apparently she rather likes him in a romantic way.

The funny part is that I can tell she's going at this entirely wrong. She's dropping all the hints she can, and I'm pretty sure she thinks she's being quite blatant about them, but I can say that from a guy's perspective, they're absolutely nowhere close to being clear enough.

For example, she'd send a message that says "There's a cultural exhibition on Saturday morning, I'm thinking of going." And that's it. And I'd be thinking to myself, "Are you going to drop a hint that he could go with you? Are you going to ask him to go with you? Are you going to at least ask him if he likes cultural exhibitions?" But nope, that's all she'll send.

Another example would be a message she asked me to proofread this morning, which was basically, "You're such a good friend, I'm so lucky to have a friend like you who I can talk to, any time I need. You're the kind of friend who inspires me to do fun things and explore the world." And I'm thinking, "You called him 'friend' three times in one message, what conclusion do you think he's going to draw from that?"

Sometimes I wonder if I should give her tips on how to pursue a guy.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
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@LittleKagsin has been trying to convince me for a while that women will let me know if they're interested in me, and that I don't have to guess about subtle signals.

I was starting to believe her; starting to chill and get my over-active brain to calm down.

I should go to bed before thinking too much about @bhamv3 's situation undoes Kag's hard work.
 
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Women oftne think they're being incredibly blatant, when they aren't.
Some women are also much, much more forceful/clear than others.
This is very ,very heavily culturally impacted. A lot of women still think men should take the initiative, and a woman's role is - at most - to indicate they might be open to being persuaded. Other women feel anything less than "hey, you, I want you" isn't clear enough and any guy coming on with less encouragement than that is being pushy and/or entitled.
This isn't about religion, and it isn't about who's right or wrong, or even really about country (though obviously country plays a significant role as well - some places have very different mores - though urban vs countryside may be more important). We're in a point in time where social mores are shifting and unstable, traditions are being torn down and expectations are changing on a day-to-day basis. Women are unsure what is "forward", and even if "forward" is still a bad thing. Men are unsure if what they're doing is flirting or sexual harassment.
It's all horribly unclear. Unless you're bhamv, then you know full well what you're doing :-P
 
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@LittleKagsin has been trying to convince me for a while that women will let me know if they're interested in me, and that I don't have to guess about subtle signals.

I was starting to believe her; starting to chill and get my over-active brain to calm down.

I should go to bed before thinking too much about @bhamv3 's situation undoes Kag's hard work.
If it's any consolation, the situation @bhamv3 describes sounds like it would lead to an unhappy relationship, with the guy never knowing what this woman wants, and the woman always being frustrated that her needs aren't being met.

--Patrick
 
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If it's any consolation, the situation @bhamv3 describes sounds like it would lead to an unhappy relationship, with the guy never knowing what this woman wants, and the woman always being frustrated that her needs aren't being met.

--Patrick
I think this is jumping pretty far ahead considering they haven't even had a date yet. :p
 
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Though it does remind me of one of my favorite Dresden Files quotes.

when women have a conversation, they're communicating on five levels. They follow the conversation that they're actually having, the conversation that is specifically being avoided, the tone being applied to the overt conversation, the buried conversation that is being covered only in subtext, and finally the other person's body language.

.......When I, and most other people with a Y chromosome, have a conversion, we're having a conversation. Singular. We're paying attention to what is being said, considering that, and replying to it. All these other conversations have been going on for the last several thousand years? I didn't even know they existed...... I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

.....So ladies, if you ever have some conversation with your boyfriend or husband or brother or male friend, and you are telling him something perfectly obvious, and he comes away from it utterly clueless? I know it's tempting fate to think to yourself, "The man can't possibly be that stupid!"

But yes. Yes, he can.​
Jim Butcher, Cold Days (The Dresden Files, #14)
 

GasBandit

Staff member
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Here's the thing. Yes, guys need it to be blatantly obvious, but contrary to what a lot of guys say, there IS such a thing as too blatant, because guys have this spectrum of interpretation for a woman flirting with them:

1578671257623.png


Hitting that sweet spot can be difficult.

@bhamv3 's ladypal is at about the "L" in subtle, though.
 
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@LittleKagsin has been trying to convince me for a while that women will let me know if they're interested in me, and that I don't have to guess about subtle signals.

I was starting to believe her; starting to chill and get my over-active brain to calm down.

I should go to bed before thinking too much about @bhamv3 's situation undoes Kag's hard work.
@bhamv3

1578689272661.gif
 
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My rule of thumb: if she swiped right and hasn't ghosted: she's interested.

Meeting people in person is a waste of time.
 
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I maintain that if a woman is interested, she will let you know. And if she is subtle and you miss those hints, that is no ones fault but hers. Be a goddamn adult and say what you want.

Maybe I just don’t know many subtle women, myself included, but I think it causes trouble. I’ve seen a lot of men before mistake kindness for interest and that just..akfnenwo. Grinds my gears. So my rule of thumb is is if she is interested she will tell you, don’t mistake attention and kindness for romantic interest.

IVE WORKED HARD Pezzle!! I WILL NOT LET THIS BE UNDONE. *shakes fist*
 
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I maintain that if a woman is interested, she will let you know. And if she is subtle and you miss those hints, that is no ones fault but hers. Be a goddamn adult and say what you want.

Maybe I just don’t know many subtle women, myself included, but I think it causes trouble. I’ve seen a lot of men before mistake kindness for interest and that just..akfnenwo. Grinds my gears. So my rule of thumb is is if she is interested she will tell you, don’t mistake attention and kindness for romantic interest.

IVE WORKED HARD Pezzle!! I WILL NOT LET THIS BE UNDONE. *shakes fist*
I think what kags is trying to say is that lots of people are really bad at being open and honest, regardless of gender, and the only way to combat this is to be open and honest yourself while inviting others to do the same.
 
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I think what kags is trying to say is that lots of people are really bad at being open and honest, regardless of gender, and the only way to combat this is to be open and honest yourself while inviting others to do the same.
And also to not accuse a girl of leading you on just because she's nice.
 
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I think what kags is trying to say is that lots of people are really bad at being open and honest, regardless of gender, and the only way to combat this is to be open and honest yourself while inviting others to do the same.
Of course, all this said I'm equally guilty of ignoring all but the just blatant of signals, but there are complicating circumstances there.
 
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tenor[1].gif


I should clarify that I'm judging this girl's efforts as ineffectual based on how I would interpret her messages. If I was the guy in question, I very much doubt I'd feel confident enough about her intentions to initiate anything. But she probably knows him better than I do, so who knows, maybe it's actually going well.
 
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A peanut sat on a railroad track, its heart was all a flutter.
Along came the 6:15, chugga chugga toot toot peanut butter.
FTFY
(At least, that's the version I have on LP)
I kind of want this toilet not gonna lie.
The article mentioning it describes it thus:
Do you blow several kilograms of rock-hard spherical poop at a time? Have you ever found yourself extruding five pounds of thick gelatinous candy from your rectum? Does your ass blast hundreds of acorns? Metcraft's High Abuse Stainless Steel Toilet is for you.
--Patrick
 
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