Okay...that is the funniest thing I have seen in this entire week. The uncanny valley is proven right again.
The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
Meh, I've seen creepier. Never go to an underground porn store. There are things best left unseen by human eye.
Realdoll Zombie Apocalypse? Sounds like an Adult Swim game.
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SeraRelm
If I had a nickel...
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SeraRelm
why did i click that?
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SeraRelm
I discovered a new weakness that I have: Men in trench coats. I never thought about it much, but lately there have been many men in trench coats in my life recently...and I just..I don't even. I want all men to wear them all the time so that I can oggle. Is that wrong of me? Either way, just please let this happen for me.
Cajungal
Staff member
Not wrong. He could be a ninja turtle.
I love a guy in a button-up shirt and loosened tie with rolled-up sleeves. I know that's weirdly specific, but I LOVE it. They look like they're about to crack a case or something...
Seej, assuming hard-boiled, film noir detectives are one of your turn ons, have I told you about this dame in a red dress that walked into my office recently?
When I first saw her, I knew she was going to be nothing but trouble. But she had a job for me. Money has been tight, so, despite all the warning lights flashing in my head, I said I'd hear her case.
She and her husband were having problems. Recently, he'd been going out to see his mistress more and more. Then one day, he ends up with several bullet holes in him, the mistress skips town, and the dame comes into possession of a keepsake of her husband's, an ebony statue shaped like an elephant. She wanted me to investigate who shot and killed her husband. I examined the ebony statue as she described her husband and their relationship. Despite their problems, she really loved him. She said that losing him was like she herself died that day. It hurt as though she was the one who got shot.
It looks like she wants justice for her dead husband, but I know she isn't telling me everything. The only way I'd figure out what she's hiding would be by investigating. So I told her, "SIMILES?!"
When I first saw her, I knew she was going to be nothing but trouble. But she had a job for me. Money has been tight, so, despite all the warning lights flashing in my head, I said I'd hear her case.
She and her husband were having problems. Recently, he'd been going out to see his mistress more and more. Then one day, he ends up with several bullet holes in him, the mistress skips town, and the dame comes into possession of a keepsake of her husband's, an ebony statue shaped like an elephant. She wanted me to investigate who shot and killed her husband. I examined the ebony statue as she described her husband and their relationship. Despite their problems, she really loved him. She said that losing him was like she herself died that day. It hurt as though she was the one who got shot.
It looks like she wants justice for her dead husband, but I know she isn't telling me everything. The only way I'd figure out what she's hiding would be by investigating. So I told her, "SIMILES?!"
Allan, that was unequivocally amazing. I heartily endorse this course of action.
CJ, Seej, Sojourn to your friends... Is this a thing? Because I should be picking up a lot more girls if that's a thing.
CJ, Seej, Sojourn to your friends... Is this a thing? Because I should be picking up a lot more girls if that's a thing.
Also, I may be a little drunk.
Yes... and I have to find out where non-engaged girls like you hang. So does Gusto, apparently.
Gusto... WINGMEN?!
Cajungal
Staff member
Godspeed, gentlemen.
I have this shirt, and every girl I know has complimented me on this shirt. But they're all like... taken or for various reasons unavailable to me. But, I figure the sample size is sufficient that I should start wearing this shirt and just... going the fuck out. To places. Where there are girls.
confession: this site failed me. I think my city is just too small to have a sufficient population involved with it.
What's halfway between Edmonton and your Ontarioville? Let's meet and get laid in... no, that's like Saskatchewan. Fuck that shit. I'll come to you.
Cajungal
Staff member
I tried to sell that website to a guy I know, and he said he felt "iffy" about meeting girls that way. Drove me nuts. "Maybe I'm too picky" he said... when every time he sees or hears about a single girl we know, he begs us to set him up with her. Too picky? For goodness' sake, go out on a damn limb, mister. Sad thing is, even if I had a lot of single female friends, I probably wouldn't set them up. Sorry, guy I know. How do you tell a guy what he looks/seems like to women without sounding like a jerk?
I have been drinking, but. Just tell him. I mean, don't be mean, but if he can't handle the truth, maybe that's really part of the problem. I know this guy who trawls the internet for pics of scantily clad girls, and then claims they're girls who 'sent' him these photos because they want to nail him. Some guys are just so divorced from reality that you'll never get through. And some of us are just introverts who dig sarcastic, intelligent girls we can't find. I think I might be projecting here.
The point is. Just tell him. Don't be a dick, but he might need to hear it. If he refuses to hear it: it stops being your problem. You tried.