The I Don't Care if You Just Had Sex Thread

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I have confirmation by Facebook that Juice does, in fact, care about my sex stories.

Take that, Halforums!

EDIT: My sex stories are titillating.
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
Who said it was a pair? I would think that a properly organized pile of roller-skates might be surprisingly comfortable.
 
Hmm. I'm afraid I just can't picture it any other way. Perhaps visual aids would help in my being able to grasp the situation as you experienced it. Might I inquire a further exposition to allow me to understand this situation to the fullest?
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
Hmm. I'm afraid I just can't picture it any other way. Perhaps visual aids would help in my being able to grasp the situation as you experienced it. Might I inquire a further exposition to allow me to understand this situation to the fullest?
"Pictures or it didn't happen", then?
 
Hmm. I'm afraid I just can't picture it any other way. Perhaps visual aids would help in my being able to grasp the situation as you experienced it. Might I inquire a further exposition to allow me to understand this situation to the fullest?
Google "Derby Stance." You'll get lots of pictures.

I practice it a few times a week. I'm really good at the Derby Stance.
 

ElJuski

Staff member
I told you what would happen if you posted that. Insta-neckbeard-validation.

Let me rephrase. I sympathize with your situation, as I do with anyone that isn't currently "getting some"; what bothers me is Halforum's incessant need to be validated like we're all freshman kids at the lunch table. I got over high-fiving getting my dick wet years ago.

Now, interesting or embarrassing sex stories, that might be interesting conversation (even though around here it would be some weird, kinky shit).

HOWEVER, IN THE END, DROLL IS RIGHT-- I should just be happy most of you actually figured out a way to get laid. Soar into the clouds, you crazy, bergin' diamonds.
 
I, for the record, care when each and every one of you gets laid and want updates, with details, when it does happen.
 
S

SeraRelm

With graphs and pie chart... and hookers!

In fact, forget the graphs!
 

ElJuski

Staff member
PM her, and leave me out of it.

Also, you have to admit, for as much of an evil, condescending, attention-whoring asshole that I am, this spin-off thread blew up these forums last night and today. BRINGING THE ACTION
 
S

SeraRelm

Or you could "not click" the thread and be left out of it. :p

I gotta say, ElJuski, you're getting dangerously close to no longer being a Murderous Moppet... What happened to you? Did you drop too much bass? Did you stop surfing? Have you started living in a perpetual Shark Week?
 

ElJuski

Staff member
It's not just the one thread--it's several threads, and its annoying. I haven't clicked on the "I Just Had Sex" thread in months. And it's not like I'm losing sleep over this, either--once again, I think the ten separate threads in reaction to this is wayy much more revealing than anything *I* do.

Just like bacon, cats, and troll faces...things get overdone. These forums--with no real subject guidelines--has the potential to cover such a broad, awesome range of things. And yet everyone's happiest going, "lol I just got laid lol here's a song lol".

Which, as usual, everyone's right--not my business. But come, on, does this place have to reinforce itself as herpderp every other day?
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
How about coming up with something interesting to discuss, then? Or is it more fun just being the forum's resident contrarian?
 

ElJuski

Staff member
How about coming up with something interesting to discuss, then? Or is it more fun just being the forum's resident contrarian?
I do, constantly. But then again half the time you guys don't realize because of the cliquish nature of these forums, where anything I'd post would be OH JUICE IS A DOUCHE HERPDERPHERPDEDOO.

Also, I'm not always contrarian--there's more than a handful of people that keep me on these forums that consistently supply fresh, creative, engaging conversation and content--not this regurgitated bullshit about omgoshbaconisdeliccccciousssssss sexisawesome
 
I told you what would happen if you posted that. Insta-neckbeard-validation.
Man, I wish I was as cool as you. To be able to look down my nose at people shooting the shit on the internet, and immediately know that I'm better than them.

But alas, I'm just a lowly neck beard. Guess I'll just go laugh at some dick jokes and leave the judging to you.

I might even high five someone for it.
 

ElJuski

Staff member
Yes, I am a better person, spiritually, physically, emotionally, holistically, every which way, is what I am saying, all the time that I am on these forums. Yes. ITS HIGH SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN <3 <3 <3
 
Yes, I am a better person, spiritually, physically, emotionally, holistically, every which way, is what I am saying, all the time that I am on these forums. Yes. ITS HIGH SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN <3 <3 <3
Dude, I know you are joking (somewhat) but you are still a goofy frat-boy.
 
Yes, I am a better person, spiritually, physically, emotionally, holistically, every which way, is what I am saying, all the time that I am on these forums. Yes. ITS HIGH SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN <3 <3 <3
It's strange. It's only high school where people feel this gnawing need to comment on other people's interests in a condescending fashion. So, yes, it is high school all over again but I don't think the students are who you think they are.
 

ElJuski

Staff member
Dude, I know you are joking (somewhat) but you are still a goofy frat-boy.
Well, yeah, of course I am. If you guys think that (a) I think I'm perfect, or (b) that I am so thoroughly emotionally invested in all of this, well....I guess that's your call to believe what you want. I don't think I've ever made any statement beyond the fact that I'm a dipshit, attention-whoring, quasi-hipster, quasi-frat guy sorta-nerd who has an obsession with the Simpsons, the Pixies, and Wet Hot American Summer.

There's no anger here--sheer annoyance, maybe, that there is so much potential squandered on these boards jerkin' it to the same ol' tune--but you guys are the ones flippin' shits and making high-drama for the last thirteen hours. Talk about shootin' the shit gone wrong.

And--I feel like I'm channeling Charlie three years in the past--I'd pretty much be down at any point to go out and drink beers with pretty much any member of these forums, as long as the conversation isn't about shit like bacon and saying, "dude just before we went out--I had sex!"
 

ElJuski

Staff member
It's strange. It's only high school where people feel this gnawing need to comment on other people's interests in a condescending fashion. So, yes, it is high school all over again but I don't think the students are who you think they are.
Oh, but getting the insanely disproportionate reactions from people over the internet is sooo funnnnnnnn
 
Oh, but getting the insanely disproportionate reactions from people over the internet is sooo funnnnnnnn
So, just to clarify, the enjoyment you're getting from the forums is in trolling or pissing people off, and your complaint is, once again, that people aren't doing enough to entertain you. C'mon man, grow up.
 

ElJuski

Staff member
So, just to clarify, the enjoyment you're getting from the forums is in trolling or pissing people off, and your complaint is, once again, that people aren't doing enough to entertain you. C'mon man, grow up.
No, its more like I'm damned if I dare say something like, "hey guys, can we have more satisfying conversation than the normal internet drivel?" because I'M SUCH AN AWFUL AWFUL MAN, so when I get seven threads of people's angry knee-jerk reactions, I just end up shaking my head and laughing. Also, at a certain point I might as well just revel in the fact that "I'm so contrarian".
 
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