[Thread Game] Terrible Video Game Descriptions (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)

I wield a massive sword. I fight against the forces of both order and chaos, on behalf of an extinct race, before a backdrop of global annihilation. One of my companions is a woman who willingly faces death in order to prevent catastrophe. My final battle is against a companion I had thought dead, but in fact was corrupted into seeking the destruction of all life, twisting his form into a perverted parody of an angel.

I am not Cloud Strife.
Devil May Cry?
 

BananaHands

Staff member
You doom mankind because you can't let go of your daughter's death.
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I wield a massive sword. I fight against the forces of both order and chaos, on behalf of an extinct race, before a backdrop of global annihilation. One of my companions is a woman who willingly faces death in order to prevent catastrophe. My final battle is against a companion I had thought dead, but in fact was corrupted into seeking the destruction of all life, twisting his form into a perverted parody of an angel.

I am not Cloud Strife.
Ugh god I can't not think of FF7.
 
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I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me...

Oh? I'm terrible enough that you are going to keep me down? Underground? Ok then.
 
I wield a massive sword. I fight against the forces of both order and chaos, on behalf of an extinct race, before a backdrop of global annihilation. One of my companions is a woman who willingly faces death in order to prevent catastrophe. My final battle is against a companion I had thought dead, but in fact was corrupted into seeking the destruction of all life, twisting his form into a perverted parody of an angel.

I am not Cloud Strife.

I can't believe no one guessed this yet.

It's Darksiders.
 
0:46 Enter dungeon. Find tampons.
Those are arrows. See the loop? If they were tampons, it would just be a single line, not a loop.
Watching the video made me remember how much I enjoyed the game, even to the glitches like the item on the ground turning into a different graphic when you turned if there was a monster behind the door (a handy trick in later levels). I even remember the layout for all the secret doors.

I may have to break out my good ol' Intellivision just to play it again.

--Patrick
 
Slash slash block counter crap you hit my leg now I'm slow! Button mash attack crap I hit select on accident and gave up so my opponent can kill me
 
Ding ding!

Also I'm just gonna say my original one since the description was clearly TOO horrible: Madworld.

New one:Seemingly ifinite water.
 
I, and my countless brethren, seek only to wipe out the human race. We spread, we change, we inflict unspeakable horrors upon entire nations, turning their thriving populations into lifeless wastelands.

And, every time, we are thwarted by Madagascar. Fucking Madagascar, man.
 
I, and my countless brethren, seek only to wipe out the human race. We spread, we change, we inflict unspeakable horrors upon entire nations, turning their thriving populations into lifeless wastelands.

And, every time, we are thwarted by Madagascar. Fucking Madagascar, man.
Hahaha that damn infection game
 
No one's ever gonna get the one from the last page, it's too obscure a game without a shitty description.

It was Haunting Ground.
 
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