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Septtober Contest! - Spooky Twitter Returns!

Discussion in 'Retired Contest Entries' started by Dave, Sep 21, 2010.

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  1. Philosopher B.

    Philosopher B. Guest

    Books:
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    The man with the porno stache at my window didn't bother me, but that clown with the butcher's apron and pickaxe was just too damn much.

    The worst part wasn't seeing my best friend eviscerated before me. The worst part was lapping his soupy insides up - and lovin' it.

    Drip, drip. My belly opened up as my hot insides spilled forth, spattering my shoes, red against black. Drip, drip.

    I darted a glance under the bed and was relieved to see nothing there. I sat up, and admired the glistening claw growing out of my chest.

    The stooped figure staggered, greasy hair dangling, foul breath billowing out like an egg fart. I pulled the trigger, and there was a click.

    They called me a monster. Freakin' ... pffft! Assholes, the lot of them. Vomiting acid into their faces was less than they deserved!

    The first child made a crunching sound, like a chocolate cricket. I didn't hear the thing eat the rest, because I tore my ears from my head.

    Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish eating this mailman. They send one of these to my house every day!

    Blood was on my hands. Blood was on my shoes. Blood was on my tongue. Blood ... was on my mind.
     
  2. Docseverin

    Docseverin America's Throbbing Cock of JUSTICE!

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    I awake in the morning to find her still there, she offers me a ride to work, it's on the way to her kids school!

    The condom broke.

    Cumming in her mouth was a bad idea, what with her semen allergy and all.
     
  3. Bumble the Boy Wonder

    Bumble the Boy Wonder I don't believe the things I saw'd

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    There was no remorse for what they did. Knives slashed about; skin was ripped clean off the bone. They would not need a fire for this meal.

    ---------- Post added at 10:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:56 PM ----------

    His fists were led by rage. The men lay bloody. His fists were bloody. He had loved her. But he was too late to protect her. She is.. dead.
     
  4. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    "There are two inches from the bottom of the couch to the floor." When the gray fingers curled around that edge, this was my first thought.

    ---------- Post added at 10:51 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:50 AM ----------

    I dodge the knife again, trying to move between her and the door, my only thought our kids. I ask her again, "Honey, whose blood is that?".
     
  5. fade

    fade Insert "Yo mama" joke here Staff Member

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    Ha ha, I thought, as I realized some prankster had replaced the Dyson Air Blades with actual ones. I wondered how to pick up my hands.

    ---------- Post added at 04:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:29 PM ----------

    A sharp pain in my abdomen. Only gas, I thought, as a machete cleaved into my skull.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    Programmed to listen for EVP, and so successful. The sound of millions of constant, terrified whispers combine into static, delivered on TV.
     
  7. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    Fun fact: brain, once dried, has the consistency of concrete. Given that, it was just easier to finish the wall in bone shards. Like it?
     
  8. Andi

    Andi Ze Doktor

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    At least there was one certainity in his life: "We're all going to die. Eventually." He triggered the belt of explosives around his waist.
     
  9. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    She picked up the first essay. "I'm so afraid. Can't go on like this. And I'll be damned if I'm going alone." Behind her, the gun cocked.
     
  10. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    "What was that?" He sat up, half asleep. He heard nothing until a voice cooed from the baby monitor. "Say goodbye to mommy and daddy."
     
  11. Zero Esc

    Zero Esc Halforums Asshole Assessment Division

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    "Good news and bad news. Bad news is, Dan's dead." "That's not so bad." "Good news is, he'll let me live if I kill you."
     
  12. fade

    fade Insert "Yo mama" joke here Staff Member

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    Assholes. I can't stand being NEAR one, much less being extruded from one as a half-digested corpse.
     
  13. Roxxoredizorz

    Roxxoredizorz Guest

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    October 12th
    The heaving of my chest replaced the once loud sound of the blood gurgling out of her neck. I think she said I love you. I'll go with that.

    Once, twice, thrice. The knocking at the door stopped. The oracle was right. The scratching started. Once, twice, thrice. Now for the screa

    His face was smiling; looking down at his masterpiece he felt completed. The faces of his friends were now deformed into an aberrant object.

    Drinking the nepenthe made her feel better. Forgetting everything she had done. It tasted good to her, and felt good. Momma... dadda... ...


    October 13th
    "Ugh, what is this in my mouth? It's disgusting that I'm eating this guys limbs, and organs, but... I can't stop, this actually isn't bad."



    (More later, when I think about them, in this post)
     
  14. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    Each time he turns on the radio, cries for help is the only sound he hears. Some days, he wonders what would happen if he plugged it in.
     
  15. PatrThom

    PatrThom Genuinely Curious

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    Breakups suck. Hmph. Can't afford chocolates, can't afford flowers. CAN afford bullets. See you soon!

    You idiot! It's waist/inseam, not inseam/waist. Go buy more nails!

    From Kati:

    I should've known something was up when he kept asking me to bathe in ice water.

    After 40 years, Edna finally found a dish her husband was bound to love. Himself.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    Sixty-two years together, and then she's gone. I should call someone, but if I get up and leave her now, I know I'll never hold her again.
     
  17. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    "No! Bad kitty!" The cat looks up but doesn't stop. I should have planned this out, or at least stopped it when it was just eating his face.
     
  18. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    Another drop fell from my wrist into the tiny cup. She dipped in her brush, smeared red on her work . "Oh daddy, you make the best colors."
     
  19. Zero Esc

    Zero Esc Halforums Asshole Assessment Division

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    The elixir worked! Grandpa was healthy and young again. "How'd you do it?" I asked. He grinned and said, "Don't worry so much, old man."
     
  20. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    Nov 1st. I woke up surrounded by candy, my belly aching. Just how many did I eat this time? No way to know until I count the empty costumes.
     
  21. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    You whisper my name, love, but I can't see you. "Auditory hallucination" they say, jealous because I'm the only one you choose to touch.
     
  22. Fun Size

    Fun Size High Lord of Falderal

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    We saw the reports, cursing each second of delay. Pictures of loved ones in hand, we watched as towers of flame lit up the world below us.
     
  23. Bumble the Boy Wonder

    Bumble the Boy Wonder I don't believe the things I saw'd

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    The jagged teeth ripped flesh, coloring her porcelain skin red. Those sadistic eyes turned to me, and I pray the chainsaw has run out of gas
     
  24. Dave

    Dave I'm not that fucking old! Staff Member

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    Contest...OVER!!

    :lock:

    ---------- Post added at 10:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:54 PM ----------

    I will be looking into this and giving a winner within the next 2 days. I'm moving fast. Remember, the winner gets issues 1-10 of the trades for "The Walking Dead"!

    ---------- Post added at 11:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:55 PM ----------

    Apparently I screwed up Phil's entry by closing the thread 3 minutes early. So here's his:

     
  25. Dave

    Dave I'm not that fucking old! Staff Member

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    Just a quick note - 93 legal entries this year! Well done! (I had to shitcan 5 entries that were too long. Sorry, folks!)
     
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