Umm.... why? What makes it illegal to hear about somebody applying to your company, and going to HR saying "Don't hire them because of reasons x, y, z." And if x, y, z are under an NDA (or related) you can say THAT. "I can't say why because of NDA, but I would watch for warning signs j, k, l"
Rant VIII: The Reckoning
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Dave
Staff member
I was once fired by a guy and after finding a new job he applied to be my boss. He was actually hired. When they asked me about him I told them the truth - he fired me on false pretenses because they needed to reduce staff and I was the highest paid in my department. Yes, I was upset but I didn't blame him per se as it could have come from higher. I told them that other than that he was a good manager who treated people fairly.
He got the job. He wasn't the best boss I ever had but he wasn't the worst. The reason HE left the other job is that the cost-cutting measures kept going up the chain until the company finally folded. He WAS the person responsible for my firing and he apologized. I told him I didn't mind that they fired me for cost savings, but to do so in the manner in which they did was unfair and borderline defamatory. He agreed and admitted fault.
Then he got fired for embezzling tens of thousands of dollars, so who knows how sincere he really was.
My mother has conveniently forgotten her huge tantrum over Christmas and wants to buy our daughter a birthday gift she can only if she stays there with her over March Break.
I'm trying to explain the issue to my sister and my sister is downplaying the whole thing and saying that I should be cool with letting other people "parent" my kids when I'm in a group and that my mother was just frazzled etc.
No. She acted like a wild and crazy bitch. My sister would not be cool if my mother did this to her kids, so she needs to STFU now.
I'm trying to explain the issue to my sister and my sister is downplaying the whole thing and saying that I should be cool with letting other people "parent" my kids when I'm in a group and that my mother was just frazzled etc.
No. She acted like a wild and crazy bitch. My sister would not be cool if my mother did this to her kids, so she needs to STFU now.
A
Anonymous
Anonymous
Doing this anonymously even though it'll be super easy to figure out who this is.
I've been sick for days. Last night was the worst I've felt so I called out from work today, loaded myself up with Nyquil, and went to bed. About 1 am I hear a loud bang and get up (groggily) to investigate. I see that my son-in-law has come home but he hasn't come inside yet. And while I was watching, I see him pull out again. Two things I need to say about this. First, he was driving my daughter's car. Second, he has two prior drunk driving convictions. Nobody was hurt either time, be the last time he went to jail for a month and lost his job. As he's pulling away, I see that her bumper is all the way off and dragging on the ground. It looked like he hit one of our other cars getting into the driveway. It snowed a lot on Sunday and our house is on a hill so I'm not surprised - it's very slick. So I texted him asking him how bad it was. This would let him know that I knew and he couldn't play it off. I also let him know I hadn't told my daughter anything.
He was drunk driving again. He did not hit our car - he'd slid all the way down the hill into a neighbor's house and took out their handicapped ramp. The ramp itself is still there, but the handrails are half gone. But they weren't home and have NO idea it happened. I left them a note as they didn't answer the door when I knocked. I contacted my insurance company and let them know, and the ramp will be covered. The car will be covered as well, but it'll almost assuredly be totaled. So her car is toast.
And that's not even the biggest thing. She says unless he goes to AA and takes control of his shit, they are done. And we just moved in to this big house together - which we did not want to do but for extenuating circumstances that I've not divulged here. So if they do break up...what happens? He can't afford the house on his own. He needs us. We can afford the house on our own - barely. But the house is in his name. Why would I have done that? Well, remember when we lost our house? Yeah, this was the only way we could move out from the rental.
So as of tomorrow we've been here a whole month. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?
I've been sick for days. Last night was the worst I've felt so I called out from work today, loaded myself up with Nyquil, and went to bed. About 1 am I hear a loud bang and get up (groggily) to investigate. I see that my son-in-law has come home but he hasn't come inside yet. And while I was watching, I see him pull out again. Two things I need to say about this. First, he was driving my daughter's car. Second, he has two prior drunk driving convictions. Nobody was hurt either time, be the last time he went to jail for a month and lost his job. As he's pulling away, I see that her bumper is all the way off and dragging on the ground. It looked like he hit one of our other cars getting into the driveway. It snowed a lot on Sunday and our house is on a hill so I'm not surprised - it's very slick. So I texted him asking him how bad it was. This would let him know that I knew and he couldn't play it off. I also let him know I hadn't told my daughter anything.
He was drunk driving again. He did not hit our car - he'd slid all the way down the hill into a neighbor's house and took out their handicapped ramp. The ramp itself is still there, but the handrails are half gone. But they weren't home and have NO idea it happened. I left them a note as they didn't answer the door when I knocked. I contacted my insurance company and let them know, and the ramp will be covered. The car will be covered as well, but it'll almost assuredly be totaled. So her car is toast.
And that's not even the biggest thing. She says unless he goes to AA and takes control of his shit, they are done. And we just moved in to this big house together - which we did not want to do but for extenuating circumstances that I've not divulged here. So if they do break up...what happens? He can't afford the house on his own. He needs us. We can afford the house on our own - barely. But the house is in his name. Why would I have done that? Well, remember when we lost our house? Yeah, this was the only way we could move out from the rental.
So as of tomorrow we've been here a whole month. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?
A
Anonymous
Anonymous
He admits to having a problem but refuses to go get help. So Sammi said they are done. His response: "Well, I'm not leaving. This is my house. You guys can still stay." He gave her $400 for her car.
Great. This is EXACTLY what we feared would happen. The only bright side is he can't afford the place without us. But if he found people to pay rent, we'd be out. With nowhere to go. Again.
We finally have the house we've always wanted and we might not be able to stay.
Great. This is EXACTLY what we feared would happen. The only bright side is he can't afford the place without us. But if he found people to pay rent, we'd be out. With nowhere to go. Again.
We finally have the house we've always wanted and we might not be able to stay.
It's very simple: rob a bank, run with the money to Mexico, and burn the house down on your way out.
It's the only logical thing to do.
It's the only logical thing to do.
Report him and buy some time by sending him to jail?
Edit: Also, aren't him and your daughter actually married? If they're for sure splitting up, seems like that could mean she could go for the house, especially if he can't afford it (but if you talk to an actual lawyer they'd 100% know more than me).
Edit: Also, aren't him and your daughter actually married? If they're for sure splitting up, seems like that could mean she could go for the house, especially if he can't afford it (but if you talk to an actual lawyer they'd 100% know more than me).
fade
Staff member
Show your ID card to the border guard!
Your alias says you're Captain Jean-Luc Picard
He won't speak English anyway
Also, research eviction laws in your state. If you're living there, he probably just can't throw you out without notice. You probably can slow down the process to buy time, if you need to.
Not if it's in his name, I don't believe.
Depends on the state. If it's a community property state, it doesn't matter if the house is 100% in his name. Both married partners own it 50/50 if they were married when they bought the house.
http://family.findlaw.com/marriage/what-s-mine-is-mine-what-s-yours-is-mine-who-owns-what-in.html
Some states are "equitable division" states. These states strive for a fair division of assets and debts upon dissolution of marriage (regardless of who has what in whose name). They prefer a pre-trial settlement, but if one can't be reached, a judge will look at all assets and debts accrued during the marriage and try to divide them fairly.
Some states are "common law property" states. In one of those, the name on the deed carries much greater weight.
(none of this, naturally, should be taken as gospel and is no substitute for talking to a lawyer)
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Where I live now, Virginia, there's the concept of "separate property" and "martial property". Marital property gets divided, no matter whose name it's in. This includes almost everything bought during the marriage. Property is only considered "separate" under very specific conditions, such as ownership prior to the marriage, or purchased with funds you had prior to the marriage. That means, for most folks I imagine, almost all of their property will be divisible upon divorce. But you get to keep that sweet 1977 fender guitar you got in college.
My name is on the deed to our house. My name is on the mortgage. I have no illusions that the house is mine and mine alone
I often joke to my wife that I had to buy a 3600 square foot house in order to have 120 square feet of space I could do with whatever I wanted. Hell, she insisted on decorating my man cave
My name is on the deed to our house. My name is on the mortgage. I have no illusions that the house is mine and mine alone
I often joke to my wife that I had to buy a 3600 square foot house in order to have 120 square feet of space I could do with whatever I wanted. Hell, she insisted on decorating my man cave
She probably did a better job of it than you would've.Hell, she insisted on decorating my man cave
Certainly better than I ever would've.
A
Anonymous
Anonymous
They are (were?) engaged, not married. I've written up a rental/lease agreement and we're all going to sign it. But I will be losing my office as we now need it for Sam's bedroom.
If he refuses to attend AA, then it might be reasonable to instead install a breathalyzer lockout (volunteer ignition interlock) in the car. If he agrees to that, and agrees to pay for it ($800 and up for the ones without a month fee) then maybe they can work things out if his alcoholism isn't destructive in other ways.
Lucky for him that he can. Most of its couldn't.
Anyway, drunk driving once is a mistake. Three times is irresponsible endangerment of others. That there haven't been victims doesn't mean it's harmless, just that he's been lucky. Also, frankly, breathalyzer locks are easily dealt with. I've seen people do it a dozen ways.
Yes. Get that document, get it to say what you want it to say, and get everyone to sign it.
And then relax a bit. You’re both stuck with each other for the time being, so you unfortunately get to live in a sitcom for a while.
Also you should start to contribute to a fund you keep off to the side until you have a large enough pile of cash that if push ever comes to shove, you can wave that pile of cash under his nose and say, “you can have this pile of cash if you sign ownership of the house over to us.”
—Patrick
It sounds like his car should have one anyways, AA or not.
To the original poster - I'm really sorry that you and your family are going through all of this. It must be incredibly stressful.
Yeah, she did. But there's no way in the world you could look at it and assume a man did it
Apparently the fire in the laser cutter did more damage than I thought. The x-axis timing cable and the ball bearing disk were both damaged. Now trying to work with the Chinese company to get replacements as 3mm x 13mm x 5mm bearing discs and 960mm long 4mm wide with 2mm spacing between the low sections are a pain in the ass to find.
fade
Staff member
You could probably make your own with a laser cu---oh.
There's a hole in my bucket, dear 'liza, dear 'liza...
Well fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry...
So, I have watch duty for my wife's grandpa tonight. It's pretty rough. He's basically living off of pain medication and water right now.
He woke up for a bit. Long enough to try to show him a picture of his granddaughter that was born today, and listen to him go on about how he knows he's dying.
He woke up for a bit. Long enough to try to show him a picture of his granddaughter that was born today, and listen to him go on about how he knows he's dying.
Dave
Staff member
Has he passed? And trust me when I say I know how it feels. I was the guy who held final vigil for my father when he died. It's boring and you feel guilty for being bored. It's sad but you can only feel that low for so long so it starts to weigh on you.
I feel for you, man.
No, not yet. I don't know how he's doing it.
There's more to the story, but I don't have it in me to type it all out. Long story short I wanted more than anything to grab a couple people and beat some sense into them this morning. How an adult can act like a selfish child when their parent is going through this is beyond me. But it's not my place, so I'll just do what I can, and be there for my wife.
I don't know what is going on with you exactly, but from my experiences with death and terminal illnesses (fuck cancer), people do not act rationally. Some folks do not deal with the situation in a way that seems correct or logical. I've seen people completely emotionless. I've seen a mom in total disbelief and in denial of her dead son. I've seen relatives vomiting and having diarrhea from the stress. I've seen relatives getting belligerent with hospital staff and other relatives. Death and illness is hard as fuck man. I am sorry you are going through this, but God bless you for being there for your wife. That's concrete brother.