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Question on the handling of Warnings/Infractions/Bans.

May 23, 2012#1

Dave

Today we had a bit of a kerfuffle. Seems a couple of our users can't play nice together and it kind of exploded in the background. I'm not naming names, but I think everyone can figure out who they are.

So here's my question. One of them basically questioned the mods saying we don't really do anything around here. What we had to explain is that hell yeah we do, but none of you can see it going on. We generally take things to PM or the Mod only board to discuss before we do anything.

Well, the person in question said that perceived inaction is de facto inaction. Now, I'm of the mind that you praise in public and punish in private, which is a well-known business management tactic for smoother workplace morale. But the question is, does this necessarily apply in this case?

So I'm asking you for a discussion on the topic. Should we be more transparent with our infractions, warnings and bans? Please tell us why or why not. Note that no changes will be done right this second. It's not the kind of thing you rush into.

May 23, 2012#2

Shegokigo

So, you can get banned for PMs now?

May 23, 2012#3

Dave

In the PM the dude was taunting NR. NR told him to stop and he kept doing it. I'd have done the same thing.

May 23, 2012#4

LittleSin

If a PM is harassing and unapologetic I would most certainly ban the fucker.

May 23, 2012#5

ThatNickGuy

Once again, a time when someone doesn't know when to just back off.

May 23, 2012#6

Shakey

I like it the way it is. We're not 15 year olds and we don't need our hands held. Do what you have to do in private and leave it at that. Although a small note in the thread saying you've handled it and people need to drop it wouldn't hurt.

May 23, 2012#7

Cajungal

I personally say we leave things as they are. This is all very "damned if you do, damned of you don't." Someone is always going to be bitching. I'd rather keep things behind the scenes and just tell the truth *if* someone asks.

May 23, 2012#8

Chippy

hey guys, it wasn't me for once

May 23, 2012#9

Shegokigo

Wow, I actually thought it was you Chippy :wololo:

May 23, 2012#10

Dave

Chippy said:
hey guys, it wasn't me for once

This time!

May 23, 2012#11

ThatNickGuy

I'm still assuming it was Chippy, but he said that to throw us off the trail.

May 23, 2012#12

Hylian

I say keep it the way it is now. It is not your fault that some individuals want to act like spoiled brats who get mad when they get their hands smacked.

May 23, 2012#13

Chippy

Dave said:
This time!

May 23, 2012#14

General Specific

I don't think we should reward trolls and such with a notice to everyone that they've been banned. The attention is kinda what they're after. The punishment should be handled privately to prevent that.

Arguments outside of pure trolling do happen, but then I certainly would not like it to be known that I was banned because I got angry and said something that I didn't mean or that was taken the wrong way. (not that it has ever happened) (you dickwads)

TL;DR, I like things the way they are

May 23, 2012#15

Covar

I think making users who are banned appear different in posts might go a long way to helping the situation. As it is there's no way to know if someone is banned, so it appears as if nothing happens. This is particularly true when people don't check the site everyday. While you don't want to go sowing letters onto peoples clothes, seeing a cop car with it's lights on does let people know that law enforcement does actually do their job.

May 23, 2012#16

ThatNickGuy

Out of curiosity, have there been any kind of bans or temp bans that haven't been announced? No need to name names. I'm just curious.

May 23, 2012#17

Dave

ThatNickGuy said:
Out of curiosity, have there been any kind of bans or temp bans that haven't been announced? No need to name names. I'm just curious.

Chippy was gone a week and wouldn't have been named had he not come in and posted as a guest.

Someone else was banhammered today.

I think it does show up on their profiles, but that's it.

May 23, 2012#18

Dave

And it does not say anything on their profile.

May 23, 2012#19

ThatNickGuy

Why did I instinctively look at Mathias' profile when you said it shows up on profiles?

May 23, 2012#20

Hailey Knight

I say leave it as is.

But again I miss drama due to being employed.

May 23, 2012#21

Charlie Don't Surf

It could help knowing where the line is to know what's bannable. But I mean. I don't think that's been a problem. If anything y'all err on the side of giving too much notice / warning that people are over the line. Not saying you should ban more by any stretch, just that getting banned "out of nowhere" doesn't really seem to be a problem I've noticed.

May 23, 2012#22

Dave

In this case it was a 24 hour ban that went to a week thanks to guest posting.

May 23, 2012#23

WasabiPoptart

I think that it should stay the way it is. But then again, I understand the workings of message boards/forums/IRC channels and know there are areas just for mods and admin. No one is making any of us come here. Don't like the way the forum is run, then go start your own and run it your way.

May 23, 2012#24

HCGLNS

Dave said:
Well, the person in question said that perceived inaction is de facto inaction.

It's an understandable opinion, had you not posted this thread, I would have never known there was any activity.

Is it possible to have a blind list that shows your moderation activities? We have one in the paper each week for the police activities.

X infractions given
XXX spambots deleted
Y people banned

Just to let people know at a glance that your work is needed and appreciated?

May 23, 2012#25

BananaHands

Guys, I was the one who got banned.

May 23, 2012#26

ThatNickGuy

BananaHands said:
Guys, I was the one who got banned.

Waaaait a minute...

May 23, 2012#27

Hailey Knight

No, I was the one who got banned.

May 23, 2012#28

Dave

HCGLNS said:
It's an understandable opinion, had you not posted this thread, I would have never known there was any activity.

Ha! The discussion between the mods and the involved parties has something like 60 replies in it and the mod only thread has 24. Three threads were deleted and a number of posts in other threads were as well. In addition, several edits were made to existing posts and emails were exchanged.

So...the fact you didn't see any of that is a feather in our cap, in my estimation.

May 23, 2012#29

Hailey Knight

Charlie Don't Surf said:
It could help knowing where the line is to know what's bannable. But I mean. I don't think that's been a problem. If anything y'all err on the side of giving too much notice / warning that people are over the line. Not saying you should ban more by any stretch, just that getting banned "out of nowhere" doesn't really seem to be a problem I've noticed.

Agreed; it's not really been a problem I could see. Mods have been pretty clear with warnings.
I think if someone says "Continue doing ___insert action here____ and you're getting temp-banned" that should be a clear indicator that banning is imminent and you shouldn't goad the mod at that point.

May 23, 2012#30

HCGLNS

Dave said:
So...the fact you didn't see any of that is a feather in our cap, in my estimation.

I was reading a book

May 23, 2012#31

ElJuski

I love that reading this thread pretty much narrows down who our culprit is.

A few things:

you guys are doing things fine. No need to re-invent the wheel.
I find it hilarious that banned people have to come back in as guests and whine or make a fuss. This is something my emotionally-disturbed teenagers do. Some things you never grow out of!
Why do people treat the internet so seriously!? It boggles my mind that people with jobs, lives, wives and children act like this goddamn website is the end-all social key to their existence.
What do toenails even do, really? And why does it send a shiver down your spine when you think of splitting one in half?

May 23, 2012#32

Bubble181

HCGLNS said:
I was reading a book

All because of Dave.

May 23, 2012#33

WasabiPoptart

ElJuski said:
What do toenails even do, really? And why does it send a shiver down your spine when you think of splitting one in half?

I don't know what they really do, but I did split my big toenail a few days ago. Trimming it back so it wouldn't catch on my socks turned me into a sissy-girl.

May 23, 2012#34

strawman

Leave it as-is. If someone thinks bans should be publicly debated they can find another message board that does that. That's not on topic here, and we're better off for it.

May 23, 2012#35

fade

There was gunplay, sir, and I missed it.

May 23, 2012#36

SeraRelm

If someone got banned for doing stupid shit, that's their business to deal with. I'm fine with things as is...

Except for ninja edit Dave...

May 23, 2012#37

makare

I don't like the attempted humorous editing of posts or mods posting in threads where crap is happening and just ignoring it. That just sends the message that they are ok with it regardless of what is going on behind the scenes.

My feelings on how moderation is handled on this forum is pretty well known so I won't say much beyond that.

May 23, 2012#38

ThatNickGuy

Look, it's very simple. If [REDACTED] would just stop [REDACTED]ing with [REDACTED], things would be a lot more [REDACTED] around here.

If you ask [REDACTED], all we need to do is [REDACTED] up their [REDACTED] and make sure [REDACTED] sticks there until they're [REDACTED, REDACTED, REDACTED, REDACTED].

May 23, 2012#39

SeraRelm

On one hand, I understand your feelings on the matter, makare, and I do agree that sensitive people will find offense easier and therefore require stricter guidelines on behavior around them, but on the other, people should definitely not take internet forums so seriously, and if the mods get super serious over things here, these boards will, in my opinion, become an even more (if they are) unfriendly, unwelcoming place.

May 23, 2012#40

Bubble181

ThatNickGuy said:
Look, it's very simple. If [REDACTED] would just stop [REDACTED]ing with [REDACTED], things would be a lot more [REDACTED] around here.

If you ask [REDACTED], all we need to do is [REDACTED] up their [REDACTED] and make sure [REDACTED] sticks there until they're [REDACTED, REDACTED, REDACTED, REDACTED].

You're a couple of hours late. I made the same joke in another thread earlier today.
And when I made that joke, it was incredibly original, never done before, a work of art. Yours is just imitation, trying too hard to be funny. :whistling:

May 23, 2012#41

BananaHands

His name is Robert Paulson.

May 23, 2012#42

SeraRelm

His name...

May 23, 2012#43

makare

SeraRelm said:
On one hand, I understand your feelings on the matter, makare, and I do agree that sensitive people will find offense easier and therefore require stricter guidelines on behavior around them, but on the other, people should definitely not take internet forums so seriously, and if the mods get super serious over things here, these boards will, in my opinion, become an even more (if they are) unfriendly, unwelcoming place.

People always seem to say that kind of thing, if there is more moderation the forum will die I've seen it happen! But we don't actually know that would happen. It would be nice to give a bit more moderation a try. On Image, I think it was, we had monthly wipes (which I am not advocating) but that was some strict modding and that forum was doing fine.

I don't know what expectations you have when you hang out with your group of friends but when I do I kind of expect a certain level of common courtesy to those both in our group and those not in our group. That is how I feel about the forum. It isn't about offense it is about, as the rules say, not being a dick. Some people just find that impossible.

May 23, 2012#44

ThatNickGuy

If my memory serves me right, we used to complain regularly about the Image moderation. They were rather post-delete and banhammer happy, I think.

May 23, 2012#45

makare

There has to be a middle ground. My point wasn't that we should have that heavy of modding I am saying that it didn't kill the forum the way people claim it would.

May 23, 2012#46

DarkAudit

I don't see a need for a daily report section or the typical USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST airing of dirty laundry. A simple "Banned" in place of a user's title would be an effective means of both public shaming of the guilty party without revealing too much information, and a reminder that the mods are indeed doing their job.

May 23, 2012#47

SeraRelm

Others may not share your views on what "being a dick" pertains. As for more moderation, I think it's definitely going on, just not thrown into the limelight. I do agree with Dave's assessment of keeping punishments private and praise public.

May 23, 2012#48

makare

I do agree with that. Even having a banned under their name might not be a good idea. Then you get the huffy fan club spouting nonsense about the freedom of speech which pretty much makes me roll my eyes completely to the back of my head.

I think if a post is bad enough to be edited it should probably just be deleted. A message like "this issue is being resolved" without saying what is being done would be nice so at least we know it did not go unnoticed as it seems sometimes.

May 23, 2012#49

bhamv3

I say the current system is fine. Users who have been here for a reasonable length of time will be able to see the mods in action, so I really don't think invisible moderation is an issue.

May 23, 2012#50

phil

I want a little gallows on the side, with hanging stick figures but the poster's avatar as the head.

May 23, 2012#51

DarkAudit

makare said:
I do agree with that. Even having a banned under their name might not be a good idea. Then you get the huffy fan club spouting nonsense about the freedom of speech which pretty much makes me roll my eyes completely to the back of my head.

Anyone who complains about freedom of speech on a privately owned forum needs to get sent back to kindergarten and start all over again, because there ISN'T ANY.

Dave isn't Congress, so he can do whatever the hell he wants, and none of us can do boo about it.

May 23, 2012#52

makare

Yes.. I know. That's why I react so painfully. Sometimes.. I weep.

May 23, 2012#53

phil

Also links plz.

May 23, 2012#54

Shegokigo

It's funny how makare thinks that moderation, if heavier, would favor her.

May 23, 2012#55

SeraRelm

So mean.

May 23, 2012#56

Gusto

Dave you worry too much. Ever notice how the people who complain about how the moderators work are the ones who often need moderation?

May 23, 2012#57

Hailey Knight

Gusto said:
Dave you worry too much. Ever notice how the people who complain about how the moderators work are the ones who often need moderation?

"Yes, there may have been complaints, but we banned those people, so now there aren't any. And I'm sure if there are ever complaints again, there suddenly won't be any more complaints then too."

May 23, 2012#58

SeraRelm

You guys ever see something just.. happening, and nothing you can do will ch-

I'm just gonna gif this one.

May 23, 2012#59

ThatNickGuy

Quotemander Prime said:
"Yes, there may have been complaints, but we banned those people, so now there aren't any. And I'm sure if there are ever complaints again, there suddenly won't be any more complaints then too."

Those responsible for sacking the sackers have been sacked.

May 23, 2012#60

jwhouk

Look, if someone gets into an argument with you in PM, and refuses to stop when you ask them to do so, you have every right in the universe to go to the mods about it.

Especially if it's Shego hitting on your wife.

May 23, 2012#61

bhamv3

mr_thehun said:
Don't worry everybody, I have a fire hose and I'm prepared to use it.

Fire hose, huh? Is that what you call it?

May 23, 2012#62

Hailey Knight

mr_thehun said:
Don't worry everybody, I have a fire hose and I'm prepared to use it.

Mustn't make China joke, want Hun to keep posting here...

May 23, 2012#63

ThatNickGuy

mr_thehun said:
Don't worry everybody, I have a fire hose and I'm prepared to use it.

Sounds like my prom night.

May 23, 2012#64

Hailey Knight

jwhouk said:
Look, if someone gets into an argument with you in PM, and refuses to stop when you ask them to do so, you have every right in the universe to go to the mods about it.

Except if it's Shego hitting on your wife.

FTFY.

May 23, 2012#65

ThatNickGuy

mr_thehun said:
Please make Chyna joke

Don't treat you like a woman? Don't treat you like a man?

May 23, 2012#66

SeraRelm

I wonder if Shego would hit on my wife...

May 23, 2012#67

makare

That's probably why he lives in China

May 23, 2012#68

Hailey Knight

SeraRelm said:
I wonder if Shego would hit on my wife...

Paraphrasing, but I recall you telling us your wife was too beautiful to be seen by our lowliness.

So yeah, Shego would probably hit on her.

May 23, 2012#69

SeraRelm

Sarcasm.

May 23, 2012#70

jwhouk

See, deep down we're all funny people who just need an outlet for our talents.

May 23, 2012#71

makare

May 23, 2012#72

fade

mr_thehun said:
Please make China joke

I make pee pee in your Coke?

May 23, 2012#73

Rovewin

I do like that the punishment takes place in the background but it would be nice to know that something happened. I see threads where things are going down and it does look like mods don't care. It would be nice after some of the shit storms to see a 'warnings issued' or 'problem taken to pms' or something to know that our forum is being looked after.

May 23, 2012#74

bhamv3

mr_thehun said:
well... maybe I should? Than I can sceam out, "You get to drink from the fire hose!"

"It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again..."

May 23, 2012#75

Hailey Knight

SeraRelm said:
Sarcasm.

Man, I just keep failing to comprehend your meaning.

It's like having a conversation with my wife. :awesome:

May 23, 2012#76

Gusto

Rovewin said:
I do like that the punishment takes place in the background but it would be nice to know that something happened. I see threads where things are going down and it does look like mods don't care. It would be nice after some of the shit storms to see a 'warnings issued' or 'problem taken to pms' or something to know that our forum is being looked after.

Usually we mention stuff like that if it's all centralized in one thread, and we do the moderation/lock at the same time.

May 23, 2012#77

makare

Quotemander Prime said:
Man, I just keep failing to comprehend your meaning.

It's like having a conversation with my wife.

I'd rather be talking to your wife.. HEY-O

May 23, 2012#78

Chad Sexington

A lot of people seem willing to rise to the bait being presented by an asshole. I've generally approved of the moderation here, but banning people seems a (generally) extreme move. It takes two to tango. I know one side might be 'more wrong' than another, but for the love of fuck, a troll can't troll if his target doesn't respond. If people could just keep their conversation going without addressing him, he's just standing in the hall with his flaccid dick hanging out. Don't talk to that guy. He has his dick out. In a hallway.

(In this metaphor, the hallway is a thread. And the guy with his dick out is far, far away, and you don't know or care about him. And you can't see his dick. But, it probably is out.)

May 23, 2012#79

Shegokigo

jwhouk said:
Look, if someone gets into an argument with you in PM, and refuses to stop when you ask them to do so, you have every right in the universe to go to the mods about it.

Especially if it's Shego hitting on your wife.

Yeah but you went to the mods to brag about it, not complain

SeraRelm said:
I wonder if Shego would hit on my wife...

She's obviously got good taste, so I'm going to say yes.

May 23, 2012#80

SeraRelm

Tastes puns I could make, hmmm.

May 23, 2012#81

Frank

This thread is gross now. Why you guys got to be so gross.

Talkin' bout bangin'!

May 23, 2012#82

Hailey Knight

Frank said:
This thread is gross now. Why you guys got to be so gross.

Talkin' bout bangin'!

Scandalous!

And then Dave looks down on the thread, sees that it's gone off-topic from mod regulations to whose wives can attract Shego's attentions, and smiles, knowing all is right on Halforums.

May 24, 2012#83

BananaHands

Just promise me that if I ever get banned, someone makes a BANana'd joke or something.

Seriously guys, it's all I ask.

May 24, 2012#84

Docseverin

I am..... Joe Keating.

May 24, 2012#85

Krisken

Jesus fucking christ.

May 24, 2012#86

Tress

I'm gone a few days and apparently I missed all the fun. Damn.

May 24, 2012#87

Terrik

I'm going to walk in here and pretend to know what's going.

I am so cool.

May 24, 2012#88

Frank

Yeah, I missed it too. I hate missing this stuff.

May 24, 2012#89

makare

Since it happened mostly in PM no one really knows anything more than the usual.

May 24, 2012#90

Covar

somethinmg something bannede. I really can't type right now. I was going to read through my 9 alerts but it will have to wait for tomorrow. Austin is awesome. That is all.

May 24, 2012#91

ElJuski

I say we all parse everything out in little tidbits some more and make Dave and company's hobby, sorry, second full-time job, that much more annoying.

No raises this year, assholes.

May 24, 2012#92

fade

I like that everyone is dancing around the fact that the real reason they want a "banned" title under the person's name is so they can rubberneck at the car wreck mentioned in the first post. (Me too)

May 24, 2012#93

Tress

Where's my "It's funny because it's so true" button?

May 24, 2012#94

SeraRelm

Not everyone.

May 24, 2012#95

GasBandit

Here's a fun fact - Gas Bandit has never been banned. So, if you get banned, it means you're even more egregious an asshole than Gas Bandit.

I am comfortable being the threshold of egregiousness.

May 24, 2012#96

SeraRelm

Or just on par, but less of a rules lawyer. :awesome:

May 24, 2012#97

Ravenpoe

I've been banned from way better places than this.

May 24, 2012#98

Adam

For a forum that lacks a common bond, the conversations here have been pretty civil compared to some of the other forums I've been on. Considering that many of you have travelled together for well on 5 or 6 years now, it's almost inevitable for there to be some fractious moments between prolific (or distinct) individuals. I have my own issues with some of the moderation and I'm not entirely sold on the concept of "praise in public, punish in private" because that presupposes people are praised for handling conflict well. Quite the opposite, the drama threads tend to be the most highly trafficked and commented threads. Personal interactions build up pressure no different than a steam engine; you are awarded forward motion if people are given the opportunity to bounce off of each other, even if it's in a 'negative' fashion. If a valve is never opened allowing for those (Negative, unproductive, false) interactions, inevitably the pressure builds up and it's an explosion instead of a vent.

May 24, 2012#99

MindDetective

This is what happens when an engineer-minded person steps into my discipline! :confused:

May 24, 2012#100

MindDetective

Then you should know better!

May 24, 2012#101

Adam

Are you trying to tell me that people aren't automatons that react to the exact same stimuli in the exact same way every time? Because that just does not compute.

May 24, 2012#102

MindDetective

Then you should know better!

May 24, 2012#103

strawman

I've only been banned once.

It was worth it.

May 24, 2012#104

GasBandit

stienman said:
I've only been banned once

You asshole.

May 24, 2012#105

Bubble181

stienman said:
It was worth it.

The taste of Cherry Chapstick?

May 24, 2012#106

Gusto

I was reported for trolling on the Megatokyo boards.

May 24, 2012#107

Krisken

Gusto said:
I was reported for trolling on the Megatokyo boards.

I'd be surprised of most of the people in the thread weren't reported at one time or another for trolling.

May 24, 2012#108

GasBandit

Krisken said:
I'd be surprised of most of the people in the thread weren't reported at one time or another for trolling.

Reported!!!

May 24, 2012#109

Allen who is Quiet

Gusto said:
I was reported for trolling on the Megatokyo boards.

What'd you do? Think a storyline wasn't that great?

May 24, 2012#110

Krisken

GasBandit said:
Reported!!!

Wait, you reported me? But I've never reported you for trolling! I feel like I've failed as a forumite.

May 24, 2012#111

GasBandit

Krisken said:
Wait, you reported me? But I've never reported you for trolling! I feel like I've failed as a forumite.

May 24, 2012#112

Gusto

Allen who is Quiet said:
What'd you do? Think a storyline wasn't that great?

Had the AUDACITY to suggest that the page in which "Yuki and Ping decide maybe they should switch skirts with each other in a crowded street" wouldn't pan out and would ultimately amount to nothing.

How DARE I suggest Fred wrie a loose end into his fucking masterpiece magnum opus!?

Course I was right.

May 24, 2012#113

Bubble181

Krisken said:
I'd be surprised of most of the people in the thread weren't reported at one time or another for trolling.

Will you believe that I've never been banned/locked out/reported/fined for trolling or being an asshole, on any other forum than HF? Even more surprising (to some here, I'm sure), I've never been any-of-that for being creepy or annoying, either.
I *have* been banned before on account of being a wise-ass, but, yeah, that's just plain true

May 24, 2012#114

blotsfan

I've been banned twice on another forum, once pretty reasonably, the other time not so much.

I've once gotten a warning here that I didn't understand. I just mentioned that I had steak for dinner...

May 24, 2012#115

jwhouk

Never been banned from an online forum, except by forum owner/moderator incompetence.

Now, on this one IRC server...

May 24, 2012#116

makare

Never been given any kind of infraction or banning on a forum but I did get kicked from an IRC because I didn't think Gor was a religion.

May 24, 2012#117

Krisken

Bubble181 said:
Will you believe that I've never been banned/locked out/reported/fined for trolling or being an asshole, on any other forum than HF? Even more surprising (to some here, I'm sure), I've never been any-of-that for being creepy or annoying, either.
I *have* been banned before on account of being a wise-ass, but, yeah, that's just plain true

Bubble, you are one of the most inoffensive people here. I'm befuddled at what could have occurred to cause you to even get a warning.

May 24, 2012#118

Bubble181

blotsfan said:
I just mentioned that I had steak for dinner...

Really now? And how was it? Nice and juicey, or a dry piece of leather? :whistling:

May 24, 2012#119

Allen who is Quiet

Gusto said:
Had the AUDACITY to suggest that the page in which "Yuki and Ping decide maybe they should switch skirts with each other in a crowded street" wouldn't pan out and would ultimately amount to nothing.

How DARE I suggest Fred wrie a loose end into his fucking masterpiece magnum opus!?

Course I was right.

That's silly. Megatokyo forums are silly.

May 24, 2012#120

Gusto

Hell yes.

May 24, 2012#121

Frank

1 infraction, which was redacted.

This is like, one of the first forums I've ever frequented where I wasn't a mod after a short period of time. Probably why I like it here.

May 24, 2012#122

blotsfan

Bubble181 said:
Really now? And how was it? Nice and juicey, or a dry piece of leather?

I left half of it raw and the other half burnt to a crisp. I was still hungry afterwards though so I got a Hot 'n Ready pizza.

May 24, 2012#123

ElJuski

I don't remember how many times I've been banned. Warnings for trolling? I can only assume a fuck-ton. Does it really matter, though?

May 24, 2012#124

sixpackshaker

I did an offense that should have gotten me banned once. But I secretly think the Moderators agreed with me.

May 24, 2012#125

fade

The only ban I've ever had is the roll-on kind.

May 24, 2012#126

WasabiPoptart

I got banned from a Navy spouse support forum because I stuck up for a friend who had also been banned.

May 24, 2012#127

Bubble181

blotsfan said:
I left half of it raw and the other half burnt to a crisp. I was still hungry afterwards though so I got a Hot 'n Ready pizza.

Why waste your money? The Aldi has pizza's for €1 you can just warm up in the microwave. More than good enough to fill your stomach.

May 24, 2012#128

ThatNickGuy

I used to band myself sometimes. Sometimes, I'd use rubber bands on my pant legs while biking. So, I totally banded myself.

Wait, what were we talking about again?

May 24, 2012#129

blotsfan

Bubble181 said:
Why waste your money? The Aldi has pizza's for €1 you can just warm up in the microwave. More than good enough to fill your stomach.

Please, you think I'm the type of inferior person who would eat that garbage?

May 24, 2012#130

Frank

The right and offensive term is trash.

What kind of shitty, stupid, poor, moron would eat that trash?

May 24, 2012#131

Espy

I once got kicked out of a forum because it got shut down randomly by some dude, uh, Steve Kuntz? It was no biggie. Found a better one.

May 24, 2012#132

Bubble181

blotsfan said:
Please, you think I'm the type of inferior person who would eat that garbage?

Why, yes. I did imagine you the type of person to eat trash. The unworrthy, stupid and poor; simply a lesser person than one such as I. One determined by their vices, rather than their virtues.

May 24, 2012#133

jwhouk

I thought Aldi's pizzas were US$1.99 and had to be baked from frozen, not microwaved?

May 24, 2012#134

Bubble181

I definitely don't pay with $$ in my Aldi, but that might just be because we're a continent apart :-P Aldi's in germany stock different products than those in Belgium, too, so I wouldn't be surprised. Either way, I know they've got €1 pizza's to microwave oer here. They're unbelievably crappy, taste nothing like an actual pizza, and have nothing in common with what one might call food. They're probably more similar to what one would describe as "vomit".

That's not me being a foodie - I've tried them a few times but the (frozen) pizza's from our other discounter, at €2.99 each, are really much better and, you know, actually edible.

May 24, 2012#135

Allen who is Quiet

I'll bet those starving children in Africa are incredibly lean and might make a decent, low-fat meal

May 24, 2012#136

Shakey

Allen who is Quiet said:
I'll bet those starving children in Africa are incredibly lean and might make a decent, low-fat meal

Maybe, but I bet they taste a bit too gamey. Mix them with a bit of chubby American welfare children and you'd have a tasty burger.

May 24, 2012#137

TommiR

Allen who is Quiet said:
I'll bet those starving children in Africa are incredibly lean and might make a decent, low-fat meal

Some niche market for the product might be found perhaps, but they're not too well suited for industrial mass production. I understand humans have a low meat yield for the weight, and it really is rather impractical to spend centuries breeding in desirable qualities like was done with normal livestock. Pork might be a good substitute, as I've heard it has similar characteristics as human flesh.

Of course, if there is demand then supply will materialise. It might be quite expensive, though, so stupid poor morons won't probably be able to afford human flesh all that often.

May 24, 2012#138

DarkAudit

TommiR said:
Some niche market for the product might be found perhaps, but they're not too well suited for industrial mass production. I understand humans have a low meat yield for the weight, and it really is rather impractical to spend centuries breeding in desirable qualities like was done with normal livestock. Pork might be a good substitute, as I've heard it has similar characteristics as human flesh.

Of course, if there is demand then supply will materialise. It might be quite expensive, though, so stupid poor morons won't probably be able to afford human flesh all that often.

May 24, 2012#139

Bowielee

TommiR said:
Some niche market for the product might be found perhaps, but they're not too well suited for industrial mass production. I understand humans have a low meat yield for the weight, and it really is rather impractical to spend centuries breeding in desirable qualities like was done with normal livestock. Pork might be a good substitute, as I've heard it has similar characteristics as human flesh.

Of course, if there is demand then supply will materialise. It might be quite expensive, though, so stupid poor morons won't probably be able to afford human flesh all that often.

He's just making a modest proposal.

May 24, 2012#140

PatrThom

Hi. Late to the party as usual, didn't bring anything to eat.

Hey, Dave. I'll say my piece so people can get back to their derailing du jour.

I think it would not be out of place to have a "stats" page on the forums (ie, something that isn't displayed on any particular page automatically, it would be a page you'd have to consciously click to read) that, among any other interesting tidbits of info (total times word "steak" or phrase "minotaur penis" appears, for instance), might also have a rolling 30-day total of the number of bans/suspensions/disciplines which have been handed out, but only as a number. No names, no "most recent: <name>" or anything like that. Just a rolling total. That way, the people who are concerned can click to check to see that the Mods are currently earning their keep, but the rest of us can continue on blissfully unawares if we so choose. The "total bans" portion could even be spoilered if the stats page ends up being chock full of genuinely whimsical content ("Prom night").

Just a suggestion. We now return you to the usual tomfoolery you paid for when you joined this forum.

--Patrick

May 25, 2012#141

TommiR

PatrThom said:
Hey, Dave. I'll say my piece so people can get back to their derailing du jour.

Thank you. I'm sure I speak the opinion of many when I state my appreciation for your reasoned post and suggestions, and how delightful I find it when posters treat a serious topic regarding the future of these boards with the respect and consideration it deserves. However, I would also ask for your understanding in the sense that there are current traditions to be upheld here, and your forgiveness if I re-commence with the herp-derp.

Bowielee said:
He's just making a modest proposal.

It just seems to me that a modest scale would push up the price even further, making it a delicacy of the rich. And a high price might result in black market transactions dealing in sub-par goods, given that the raw materials are basically available everywhere. I view it as preferable if the product can reasonably be made available to members of varying income brackets.

May 25, 2012#142

makare

Bowielee said:
He's just making a modest proposal.

We should eat all the new people.

May 25, 2012#143

Adam

makare said:
We should eat all the new people.

What do you think all of our steak debates are actually referring to?

May 25, 2012#144

sixpackshaker

makare said:
We should eat all the new people.

May 25, 2012#145

Azurephoenix

Soylent green is people!

May 25, 2012#146

Allen who is Quiet

PatrThom said:
Hi. Late to the party as usual, didn't bring anything to eat.

You brought yourself. That's good enough for food.

May 25, 2012#147

bhamv3

Halforums: Where a thread on forums rules can descend into an in-depth discussion on cannibalism.

May 25, 2012#148

fade

Google Church of Euthanasia for instructions on how properly to prepare the meat.

May 25, 2012#149

Allen who is Quiet

Bhamv, it's not a big deal. Everything descends into cannibalism eventually.

It's why one of my dates didn't end up working out. Food was lovely though.

May 25, 2012#150

TommiR

Allen who is Quiet said:
Bhamv, it's not a big deal. Everything descends into cannibalism eventually.

It's why one of my dates didn't end up working out. Food was lovely though.

Oh, so a better method was discovered for her to lose a few pounds?

May 25, 2012#151

North_Ranger

You know who were the first people to get Mad Cow Disease?

It wasn't the Brits. It was a tribe that practiced ritual cannibalism in Papua New Guinea, if memory serves. Something about how the disease is most effectively spread by eating meat of the same species that has been tainted with it.

Hence why all those people in Great Britain got sick; the cows had been fed with food that contained cow bits.

So no thanks, folks, I'll stick to my main sources of meat: pork, chicken, beef, the occasional bit of lamb and horse, and whatever the hell they put in kebabs.

However, that's not to say I'm completely opposed to certain kind of, ahem, eating :unibrow:

May 25, 2012#152

PatrThom

North_Ranger said:
You know who were the first people to get Mad Cow Disease?

It wasn't the Brits. It was a tribe that practiced ritual cannibalism in Papua New Guinea, if memory serves. Something about how the disease is most effectively spread by eating meat of the same species that has been tainted with it.

If you're remembering the same case that I am, the ritual was to specifically eat the brains of the departed, resulting in what I believe Guiness classified as the Rarest Disease In The World*.

--Patrick
*Pretty sure about this but having a hard time researching due to being on iPod.

EDIT: Yep. It's called "Kuru" if you want to go Googling.

May 25, 2012#153

North_Ranger

Eh, still a good enough reason for me not to go and chew on my neighbour. Not to mention the fact that they're old and probably kinda chewy.

May 25, 2012#154

GasBandit

I was gonna say, too, it was the brain-eating that did it. That's where industrialized BSE (Bovine spongiform encephalopathy, the fancy name for mad cow disease) comes from ultracheap cow feed where, after everything humans could possibly want to eat was stripped off the cow carcass, everything that was left over was ground up in to mush (including the brain) and fed to the other cows.

May 25, 2012#155

TommiR

I seem to recall my upper-secondary school history teacher telling us how the brain was one of the favoured parts during the Siege of Leningrad amongst the more *ahem* pragmatic of the starving citizenry. It had something to do with the brain being one of the organs where the body tried to keep blood circulating to till the end.

It was a long time ago and I can't find any quick references to support it, but if true, then perhaps zombies are smarter than we give them credit for.

May 25, 2012#156

Azurephoenix

Maybe zombies are just a symptom of a certain type of prion disease...

:eek:

May 25, 2012#157

Bubble181

TommiR said:
I seem to recall my upper-secondary school history teacher telling us how the brain was one of the favoured parts during the Siege of Leningrad amongst the more *ahem* pragmatic of the starving citizenry. It had something to do with the brain being one of the organs where the body tried to keep blood circulating to till the end.

It was a long time ago and I can't find any quick references to support it, but if true, then perhaps zombies are smarter than we give them credit for.

It's one of the most intersting parts of the body to eat, nutrient-wise. It's also far less tough and stringy than most parts. Most muscles in a human are far too tough to be nice to eat, and the brain is less "strong" of flavour than most other organs. Compare to chicken kidneys, liver and brain: the brain has by far the least "organ-y" taste.

May 25, 2012#158

sixpackshaker

Azurephoenix said:
Maybe zombies are just a symptom of a certain type of prion disease...

sounds like Zombieland....

May 25, 2012#159

GasBandit

Azurephoenix said:
Maybe zombies are just a symptom of a certain type of prion disease...

Zombies have advanced Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease?

May 25, 2012#160

TommiR

Speech impairment, jerky movements, balance and coordination dysfunction, changes in gait, rigid posture...

Might make sense.

May 25, 2012#161

Azurephoenix

Don't forget massive personality changes...

May 25, 2012#162

PatrThom

Bubble181 said:
It's one of the most intersting parts of the body to eat, nutrient-wise. It's also far less tough and stringy than most parts. Most muscles in a human are far too tough to be nice to eat, and the brain is less "strong" of flavour than most other organs. Compare to chicken kidneys, liver and brain: the brain has by far the least "organ-y" taste.

Don't forget that the brain carries all that cholesterol and fat. Eat brains, but eat brains in moderation.

--Patrick

May 25, 2012#163

Bowielee

May 26, 2012#164

makare

oh god that scene

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