[Request] Beyond Loving a Post - An Idiotic Proposal

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Zappit

Staff member
I can like a post. I can love a post. But I do not have a way to take the next step with that special post. There is no option to go steady with a post, or possibly even marry it. Beyonce laid down some clear ground rules. I should be puttin' a ring on it at the point of "Like". I clearly lack the option to wed a post.

While it's a serious commitment to a single post, sometimes posters and posts drift apart, so divorcing that post should be an option, too. Perhaps even annulments should be granted due to poor decisions, and subject to mod approval.

All I'm asking is for another way to like a post, truly, deeply like a post. So many hold the quotes of others in their sigs, their lives intertwined. Why not make it official?

We need not be post sluts, liking strange posts from many different posters.

And, with that, I end this ridiculous, completely non-serious post.
 
I will only support this if we maintain the integrity of one-man-one-woman marriages. Should a forum member of the same sex deeply love another's post, they are welcome to do that in the privacy of their homes, but I won't let that kind of moral turpitude seep into this great forum, founded on sound family values.
 
I, for one, support same-sex posts and am deeply offended by anyone forcing their narrow-minded ideology on my fellow posts.
 

Dave

Staff member
Hell, just the name "post" is misogynistic and phallic! They should be changed to something like "word hug".
 
Here's the thing. Every marriage ceremony in the US, and I'm sure in other places too, has one requirement: a statement of intent by both parties indicating this is consensual. In most marriage ceremonies, this is covered by the "I do"s. However, in this case, the post can't make a statement of its intent, so no marriage, be it one man-one post, one woman-one post, one man-many posts, one woman-many posts, or even one post-one post, can be legally considered a marriage.
 
Posts have no rights, so while noble, your effort to secure freedom for posts dragged into matrimony has no legal basis.

Long before we get to the right to marry, we should be determining if posts have a right to life, nevermind the pursuit of happiness.

I've already deleted one post in this thread. How many more will I kill before you convince the courts of post's rights?
 

Dave

Staff member
Republicans only care about posts until they become full fledged threads, then they no longer care.
 
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