GasBandit
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  • Being happy is like pissing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you feel the warmth. Also I haven't experienced it since I was 7 years old.
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    Reactions: bcbarnes
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    If true, then the quickest way to happiness is just to drink excessively.
    The more a cat acts like a dog, the better a cat people say it is.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Conversely, I've noticed that I prefer the types of dogs that act more like cats. e.g., basenji, greyhound, whippet, Akita, borzoi.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    And when a dog acts like a cat, they call it a fox.
    My retirement plan is to start walking across streets without looking and hope I get reborn in an Isekai anime, because that apparently happens constantly.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Not in TX, though. Sorry.
    "Does my Thai girlfriend have a penis?" he wondered. Something inside him told him, "yes."
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    He would have asked her about it sooner, but it had never come up.
    You can say "Have a nice day!" and it's fine, but "Enjoy the next 24 hours" sounds like a threat for some reason.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    You can also imagine how people react when you say, “Treasure what remains of your current 86400 second cycle.”
    If I am expected to manage my anger, stupid people should be expected to manage their stupidity.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    See, that's the thing, because at least you can TELL when you're being angry.
    Reading is staring at a dead piece of wood for hours and hallucinating.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    I thought it was a city in Pennsylvania?
    mikerc
    mikerc
    Dead piece of wood? Get a kindle you Luddite!
    Sears started out as a mail order catalog that would deliver products right to your door. They were driven to bankruptcy by internet sites that deliver products right to your door.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Pretty sure they were driven to bankruptcy by Eddie Lampert's greed.
    I'm pretty disappointed that Batman is the rich man beating up criminals and Daredevil is the blind man using echolocation, and not vice versa.
    GasBandit
    GasBandit
    That's not the same thing. Unless there's a BLACK lantern that is actually GREEN, and a guy named Claybody who can only reshape his face.
    mikerc
    mikerc
    Wasn't Jade a Black Lantern for a while?
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Pretty sure most everyone was.
    There's a point where we need to stop, and we have clearly passed it. But let's keep going, and see what happens.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    You mean like, getting a ticket?
    Every time you get dressed, remember: If you die, that's what your ghost will wear. Forever.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    i.e., don't die naked if you can help it. Otherwise everyone will think you died on your birthday.
    Dei
    Dei
    My ghost will be slovenly, but oh so comfy.
    People with "make tea, not war" bumper stickers are pretty ignorant about the history of tea.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    The "make love, not war" people are in a for a few shocks, too.
    You ever notice, for special occasions, ladies with curly hair straighten it, and ladies with straight hair curl it?
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    And well-endowed women minimize while slender women pad.
    The best part of the cucumber tastes like the worst part of the watermelon.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    But put them both on the belt in the checkout lane with a jar of Vaseline and see what kind of looks you get.
    When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees, sycamore~~~
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    When converting Poe's "Raven" to text-to-speech .WAV, "Nevermore~~~"
    I used to sneak out of the house to go to parties. Now I sneak out of parties so I can go home.
    • Like
    Reactions: Dei
    It takes 45 muscles to frown, but only 10 to smile. So smiling is for the weak and lazy. Frown your way to fitness.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    It only takes two muscles to close your eyes, though, and then you don't have to do either.
    Few things are as gratifying as finally managing to grab that one stray ear hair with tweezers and no mirror.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Or even sans tweezers.
    I don't need discord, I just need an audio file on loop "Hey Gas, I got a question.."
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    But it's only a QUICK question...
    GasBandit
    GasBandit
    But a "legitimate" question!
    ♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    It's still a little early for Christmas music.
    I'm playing the game - the one that will take me to my end. I'm waiting for the rain, to wash who I am.
    The mark of maturity is enjoying things you hated as a child. For example, spankings and naps.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    And brussels sprouts. Mmm, tiny cabbages.
    Every day is a struggle against the idea of putting chicken nuggets in the blender and calling it a protein shake. 17 days til solid food.
    When the PC Master Race curses you: "May your ping time match your frames per second."
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    "May your GPU temp match your FPS in °C."
    The boss just banned overly-specific nicknames, and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian the Good Time Ruiner.
    PatrThom
    PatrThom
    Yeah, leave Brian’s good name out of it.
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