My god, this thread is hilarious. Well, pretty sad too, but hilarious. I know everyone is trying to help, but it's a complete lost cause. Just stop. You're just feeding the beast at this point.
Oh hey, this thread again!
Let's all go in circles. I'll get the popcorn.
*I'm too hip to actually use the popcorn smiley*
*Disclaimer: Term only used for effect. I do not condone its usage.
Emphasis mine. Someone who knew you, in fleshy real life, as a complete and whole person, told you to get help. If my sister sat me down and said "Chris, I really think you need help", I would get it. If Mrs. M sat me down and said that, I would get help. If my dad sat me down and said it, I would get help. Total strangers on the internet? Somewhat less compelling.And honestly, if someone ten or fifteen years ago told me they knew exactly what I was feeling and told me ways to help fix it? Yeah, I would have listened. In fact, I did. My sister.
I don't think I've ever tried to give the impression I thought I was perfect. I have flaws. I have patterns I need to break. And I've broken a lot of them in the past year, without the help of a therapist.well hey, even though you're still defensively stating you don't need help working on your problems because you're working on your problems, at least you are now able to admit to having a problem that can be overcome.
And got shot down without knowing exactly why. I learn nothing. My confidence is rewarded with goose egg. The most I can gather from this experience is that not every rejection is Andrea, and you do get to keep friendships after being shot down. Which is a reinforcement of something I already knew.And yet, you seem determined to not see the upside to this. You managed to man up (sort of) and asked her out. You will never, ever wonder whether you missed something, or walked away from a chance to explore.
Not Galatea. She's not someone I have built up into the perfect mate. She's a friend who I really really like who seemed to be giving me signals. She'd probably term a "great guy", much like my ex and almost all my other paltonic female friends do. I just want to know where the fatal disconnect between "good guy" and "undateable" is.You say your friends are telling you that you're not doing bad and you're a decent guy in general, and that's why you're not listening to our opinions. Fine. So why are you not listening to their opinions, and insist on working yourself into a tizzy trying to figure out what's so wrong with you that Galatea won't go out with you?
No. I'm saying a year ago I couldn't: look at myself in the mirror, talk to new people without being forced, understand that my friends actually enjoy spending time with me, or think about dating without turning into a jibbering mess. Today, I can do all of those things and do them well. So I'm less depressed than I was 365 days ago, without any professional help.Are you seriously pulling "More depressed than thou"?
That sir, is an excellent point. While there doesn't need to be a reason it could be as simple as she doesn't want to try to fit dating into 13 hour school days, a fucked up sleep schedule (I've come over at 3 in the afternoon before and she was still asleep), and mountains of homework.There's not flaw in your rationale, except that it's your rationale: the flaw in your thinking is thinking that she thinks like you
....
So the short version is no, there needn't be a what that she decided qualified to not go on a date with you.
I would like to think that the tremendous gains I've made in self esteem (to the point where she told me that her assessment of me as a person when we met was all wrong...which it wasn't, at the time) account for something. Still, you have a point. I was kind of super nervous when I asked her out, and that very well may have been a problem.This. So much this. It takes only an instant for me to figure this out when I meet or talk to someone that is interested in me. No confidence = no interest. A friend at most IF they have some similar interests or something. Which you apparently have with Mads.
Excuse me sir, I would like to court your sister.Also, talking to a cute girl who reads comics would require me to find one who isn't my sister.
we shouldn't bury it
But I want him to.I know you mention that you don't want to lose yourself or your identity,
Exactly. Because who his identity is, is forever doomed to solitude.But I want him to.
I want him to deviate from his most cherished friends. I want him to ignore his way of thinking. I want him to break every law he's sworn to uphold.
LOL.But I want him to.
I want him to deviate from his most cherished friends. I want him to ignore his way of thinking. I want him to break every law he's sworn to uphold.
Heh. It is only BS when a person break out of their shell and be pro-active. This is pretty much Norris is stuck in IMO. He break out of his current shell and wonder why he can't find datable women and women he did meet just want to be his friends.Chibi stop spouting the friend zone ladder theory bullshit, plz.
Now of course there are rare chance maybe tomorrow or 5 years down the line one of the girl may have a chance of heart and date him. Hooray! so he can either wait and continue to be friends, or find someone else.