Video Game News and Miscellany

This is true. Basically the only things that matter, Metal Gear wise, to the plot are...

- Raiden is a cyborg
- PMCs are defacto military
- Metal Gears are a thing
- Sunny is there

It's not trying to make a fucking commentary on anything. It's just trying to be a crazy awesome Metal Gear spin-off.
Definitely. In fact, if there's any commentary, it's on how insane the Metal Gear franchise has become. The main villain's monologue on his motivations makes no goddamn sense and even Raiden can tell it makes no goddamn sense.
 
I laughed out loud when the female guard finally said "PERV" and insta-kill kicked snake in the crotch. Still, none of this really strikes me as anything worse than you see in your average Hitman PC game, much less some of the genuinely perverted stuff out there. I mean, really, that video Null posted looked like a standard patdown to me... granted, the player did it over and over and over and over again giving it a salacious context.
Well, I didn't even get into the incest / pseudo-incest, pissing, and diarrhea that are in each of the games. Or Eva's medical history.

Short version full of spoilers for games that are like a decade old: Otacon fucked his stepmother which nearly lead to his stepsister drowning in their pool; said stepsister developed a sexual fixation with Otacon and her dying words were a confession that she wanted him to see her as a woman, not a sister; Big Boss fucked his mentor, whom he considered to be a mother figure, and whom he later killed, as well as the eventual surrogate mother of his clone sons that he met during the same mission; Vamp had a relationship with Fortune after the death of his former lover, Fortune's father, who was USMC brass...

Otacon pisses his pants in MGS1, Snake gets pissed on by wolves, Raiden gets pissed on by a guard, Emma (Otacon's stepsister) pisses her pants; a female hostage pisses her pants, Sokolov pisses his pants twice, and each game has featured Johnny Sasaki, a hapless moronic mook with irritable bowel syndrome (which disqualifies you for military service, much less the special forces units he keeps showing up in) who spends much of each appearance in each game dropping friends off at the pool. Yes, you do see the destroyed toilet in at least 2 appearances. And each pants pissing is front and center in the camera, with visible steam. Yeah.

Eva's medical history, if you unlock enough of it, will show you many things she's eaten, including all the things you've fed her (damn woman eats like a horse, by the way - every couple minutes she's all 'I'm hungry' and making stomach growling noises) as well as unusual gourmet treats (presumably from the head of the one weapons facility she was sleeping with consentually) and, oh yeah, sperm. Her medical history reveals implants, numerous cases of VD, hypoxia from being choked by Volgin (more than just the times we see) and proctitis, which is generally caused by a combination of sexually transmitted infections and anal trauma. Thanks, Kojima!
 
I ain't gonna lie, that post had me laughing breathlessly. Well done.
I didn't even mention what happens if you knock Eva unconscious. She moans and apparently has sexy dreams about Snake, Boss, and fido. Also, it's a bit "interesting" that the best way BY FAR of getting through that whole area is drugging Eva and dragged the unconscious woman through each zone, because she invariable calls attention to the guards and instead of running, keeps standing to fight with a revolver against multiple mooks with grenades and AKMs.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I actually think I've seen videos about Eva's unconscious murmurings, and the medical history bit, come to think of it.
 
That's a bit unfair... she's trying to get you to stop whatever it is you are doing wrong. When you figure out what the problem is and stop doing it, she'll stop punching you.
 
Is it weird that I've played every Metal Gear multiple times (except 4 because well, I'm not gonna play it more than once) and I missed almost all this perverted crazy shit? Well, other than the upfront crap you can't miss.
 
Is it weird that I've played every Metal Gear multiple times (except 4 because well, I'm not gonna play it more than once) and I missed almost all this perverted crazy shit? Well, other than the upfront crap you can't miss.
Yeah, but if you skip the cutscenes, the games are like 15 minutes long.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
So apparently, Sims 4 will have a subscription option. Hold on, don't light up the torches and sharpen the pitchforks yet... it's optional, and kind of makes sense if you're a sims addict, given that Sims 3 had 19 DLC packs.[DOUBLEPOST=1405963492,1405963235][/DOUBLEPOST]Uh, Microsoft.. maybe Quakecon isn't the proper venue to try to shill the deals you have going on Xbox Live?

 
So apparently, Sims 4 will have a subscription option. Hold on, don't light up the torches and sharpen the pitchforks yet... it's optional, and kind of makes sense if you're a sims addict, given that Sims 3 had 19 DLC packs.[DOUBLEPOST=1405963492,1405963235][/DOUBLEPOST]Uh, Microsoft.. maybe Quakecon isn't the proper venue to try to shill the deals you have going on Xbox Live?

We all know how much the goers of Quakecon love them some xbox.
 
So, anyone else excited about the redone Abe's Oddysee?
It's cool they're remaking it. I remember getting psyched about it back when the original was coming out, but never ended up getting the game or even playing it. Maybe when this version comes to Wii U later this year.
 
I'm a huge fan of all the Oddworld games (Well, Munch's Oddysee was only a'ight). I'm hoping that this leads to a new game if it sells well. I just love the feel of the Oddworld universe.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
So EA has made a billion dollars over the last 12 months, their personal record. They're up 250 million from last year.

http://www.businesswire.com/news/ho...eports-Q1-FY15-Financial-Results#.U87gBkCPRUh

If you've bought a game with "EA" on the cover, this is your fault. Especially you console tards. Don't buy EA games. Let them wither and die.

"Bu.. buh buh.. but... Battlefield! But Titanfall! But Sims!" etc.

Did I fucking stutter?

EA may be the most damaging force to the quality of video games today, and every "yeah EA is bad but this game unlike the dozens of others is good, so I'll buy it" purchase is what enables the creation of those dozens of other bad titles, and lets them continue abusing employees and customers alike. It. Is. Your. Fault. DUNGEON KEEPER MOBILE IS YOUR FAULT. As surely as if EA handed you the whip and you used it to beat the code monkeys yourself. If EA were to go under, other (hopefully better) companies would pick up the good IPs/Franchises.
 
As long as they keep cranking out sports, Sims and Battlefield, all that frothy rage is pointless. EA's not going anywhere. Hell, I bet they could stay afloat on FIFA alone. On top of that, for all the anger thrown their way for SimCity, it seemed like most of the people I heard bitch about the game ended up buying it anyway. Gamers are easily the most hypocritical consumer base out there regardless of platform choice.
 
So EA has made a billion dollars over the last 12 months, their personal record. They're up 250 million from last year.

http://www.businesswire.com/news/ho...eports-Q1-FY15-Financial-Results#.U87gBkCPRUh

If you've bought a game with "EA" on the cover, this is your fault. Especially you console tards. Don't buy EA games. Let them wither and die.

"Bu.. buh buh.. but... Battlefield! But Titanfall! But Sims!" etc.

Did I fucking stutter?

EA may be the most damaging force to the quality of video games today, and every "yeah EA is bad but this game unlike the dozens of others is good, so I'll buy it" purchase is what enables the creation of those dozens of other bad titles, and lets them continue abusing employees and customers alike. It. Is. Your. Fault. DUNGEON KEEPER MOBILE IS YOUR FAULT. As surely as if EA handed you the whip and you used it to beat the code monkeys yourself. If EA were to go under, other (hopefully better) companies would pick up the good IPs/Franchises.
Bought Kindoms of Amalur, don't care. If it ruffles your jimmies any less, I got it for 5 bucks on a steam sale.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Bought Kindoms of Amalur, don't care. If it ruffles your jimmies any less, I got it for 5 bucks on a steam sale.
Eh, a minor transgression. Nobody's perfect. And yes, better you did it in 2014 for $5 than in 2012 for $49.99 (or more likely, $59.99).

My screed was more aimed at the "Buy Madden/Fifa/NHL/Battlefield every year at full price" crowd.
 
I downloaded PvZ 2, haven't paid a dime for in-app purchases, and I play it regularly (meaning I use server resources).

Do I get a cookie?
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I downloaded PvZ 2, haven't paid a dime for in-app purchases, and I play it regularly (meaning I use server resources).

Do I get a cookie?
Give it a bad review on Google Play/the App Store specifically mentioning EA and you got a deal, buddy.
 
Haven't bought an EA game since Mass Effect 3.

Partly in protest, partly there hasn't been a thing that's interested me. But my wife has Dragon Age 3 pre-ordered, so the contraband will still enter my house.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Haven't bought an EA game since Mass Effect 3.

Partly in protest, partly there hasn't been a thing that's interested me. But my wife has Dragon Age 3 pre-ordered, so the contraband will still enter my house.
There's always a woman to blame. Especially egregious as it's a preorder. Still, it's not too late... cancel the preorder and just pirate it when it comes out.
 
Haven't bought an EA game since Mass Effect 3.
Pretty much this and the only reason I did it's because at the time I had faith in Bioware.

Everything changed.

EA hasn't made anything worth playing anyways.

As much as I'd like to play the new NHL, I'm sure as fuck ain't gonna pay $70+ for it and help EA in this bullshit.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
This is like saying don't ever see a Disney Movie cause most of their shit is crap.
It would be, if that were true, which it's not. For all the grief and whining about Dthe reason they stay on top is because the vast majority of what they put out is quality children's entertainment (unless you're referring to merchandising).

It's more like saying "don't buy chocolate that uses child labor in west Africa." That'd be equally futile. 70% of chocolate comes from west african child labor, including chocolate used by Nestle, Reese's and Hershey. Sooo.. that ain't happening.
 
There's always a woman to blame. Especially egregious as it's a preorder. Still, it's not too late... cancel the preorder and just pirate it when it comes out.
Can't pirate since it's PS3, plus she wants to bring over her choices from the previous games (HAH, like that's going to matter).

That said, her money, her problem. Only thing it does to me is that I'm delaying getting Shadow of Mordor since the TV will be taken up.
 
I haven't bought a EA game since they stopped supporting Nintendo consoles.

I know that they aren't as powerful, but I still enjoy some NHL every once in a while.
 
Can't pirate since it's PS3, plus she wants to bring over her choices from the previous games (HAH, like that's going to matter).

That said, her money, her problem. Only thing it does to me is that I'm delaying getting Shadow of Mordor since the TV will be taken up.
Well the Bioware game just got delayed to mid-November.
 
If there was a game company I was going to stop supporting, it would be Squeenix, because most of their games are dreadful lately. They're every bit the congolomerate that EA is, though not as bad about microtransactions (Need for Speed on the PS3 was infuriating). There's a limit to the number of games feature androgynous whiny heroes you should be able to release.
 
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