[Contest] Win a Humble Bundle!!

[Anonymous]

Area Cat Bored with Owner's Sexual Performance.

CHICAGO - Household pet and frequent observer of owner's sexual encounters admitted that he had grown bored with his owner's performance earlier this afternoon.

"Missionary again?" Bojo, 8, exclaimed from atop his owner's dresser. "Please. It's like you're asking these girls to fake their orgasms."

 

[Anonymous]

Local Idiot Suggests Threesome to Bring 'Spark' Back in Relationship

Bowling Green, KY - With the hope of restoring that 'magic' lost in a year-long relationship, Eric Richards, arranged a meeting with his girlfriend to sug-- Oh, no. He's not really suggesting a threesome is he? Are you fucking kidding me?

 

[Anonymous]

Breaking News: Babies are delivered via a womans vagina and not by stork as originally believed.
When asked for comment stienman was quoted as saying "This changes everything I know about how children are brought into this world. Who would have thought it was sex that did it and not a magic stork with fairy dust!"

 

[Dave]

Contest closed and thread locked. If you haven't liked or loved, do it now!

 

[Dave]

Dodo Bird Brought Back From Extinction Thanks To Cloning
Strangled back into extinction ten minutes later due to annoying warbling

Twelve-Year-Old Boy Discovers Masturbation, Forgets Literally Every Other Thing He Wanted To Do This Weekend

MLB player caught not using steroids.
Apologizes to fans, teammates, for not giving 110%

Okay, here are the final 3 based on ratings, retweets and likes/shares on Facebook. I will be setting up a poll soon.

 

[bhamv3]

Heh, a few days ago I realized I could add a "love" to my top-scoring entry and boost myself into the top three. Didn't do it though.

Now shower me with applause for my sporting behavior!

 

[Ravenpoe]

Heh, a few days ago I realized I could add a "love" to my top-scoring entry and boost myself into the top three. Didn't do it though.

Now shower me with applause for my sporting behavior!

I totally did that to mine.

Still wasn't enough.

 

[Fun Size]

No love for masturbation.

It's like I don't even know you people anymore.

 

[Dave]

I'm calling it! Dodo bird wins! The winner?

Cheesy1!!!

 

[Cheesy1]

Yaaaaaay! Thank you!

 

[Bumble the Boy Wonder]

Almost had it with my funhouse mirrors

 

[bhamv3]

My top scorer was Monsanto's penis-growing GM wheat.

 

[Hylian]

How well did the Japanese man divorcing his wife do overall?

 

[Dave]

How well did the Japanese man divorcing his wife do overall?

It actually did quite well and should have been in the mix of the three. I missed it in the tallying phase. It did pretty well here and was retweeted/shared on Facebook & Twitter.

 

[Hylian]

It actually did quite well and should have been in the mix of the three. I missed it in the tallying phase. It did pretty well here and was retweeted/shared on Facebook & Twitter.

It doesn't really matter too much


I think the Dodo bird headline was better I was just a bit curious is all.