The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.

bhamv3

bhamv3

Hot female friend: "Hey, are you free this weekend?"

Me: (thinking) "Holy shit am I going to get to apply what I've learned recently about being able to spot when women are flirting with men? It's happening, people, it's happening!"

Hot female friend: "Because I have this text that needs to be translated by Monday and I was hoping you could do it. Can I send you the file now?"

Me: (thinking) "Or not."
 
IronBrig4

IronBrig4

Now that the grades are submitted, I'm getting the panicky "OMG plz boost my grade!" emails from students who failed. They are almost invariably the ones who were chronically absent or who only went to class to look at their phones and sleep. I had told them over and over that the Canvas grades are always screwy and posted a formula on how to calculate their grade both on the syllabus and in course announcements.

And good lord, what is it with all the chronic absenteeism at schools and universities today? During the pandemic, rural K-12 students often became unpaid farm hands at their uncle's ranch. Now that the pandemic is over those kids are still being kept as unfree child labor. It doesn't really explain why so many college students are absent half the time.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Someone at work bought a big ol' fudge cake cookie out of the vending machine, opened the package, took a big bite out of it, and then left it like that on the table in the break room. It was there for a couple of hours, at least. I figured they took the bite out of it as a way to mark it as theirs, so nobody else would take it.
...so I slid it out of the package, used a (brand new) plastic spoon to cut an arc out of the other end, used the end of the handle to cut "teethmarks" into the arc, then pulled the wrapper back over it, being careful not to touch the cookie with my hands the entire time.

That'll show 'em.

--Patrick
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
PatrThom said:
Someone at work bought a big ol' fudge cake cookie out of the vending machine, opened the package, took a big bite out of it, and then left it like that on the table in the break room. It was there for a couple of hours, at least. I figured they took the bite out of it as a way to mark it as theirs, so nobody else would take it.
...so I slid it out of the package, used a (brand new) plastic spoon to cut an arc out of the other end, used the end of the handle to cut "teethmarks" into the arc, then pulled the wrapper back over it, being careful not to touch the cookie with my hands the entire time.

That'll show 'em.

--Patrick
Click to expand...
And here I thought you were going to cut a 1cm buffer zone around their bite and take the rest of the cookie.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Of course not. I didn’t want a cookie, I wanted to mess with whomever thought taking a bite would be some kind of deterrent.

—Patrick
 
Frank

Frank

A friend of mine visiting Seattle this week sent me a picture of meat prices in the US.

It's literally pennies on the dollar compared to here.

How are you all not billionaires when food is that cheap?
 
Dei

Dei

Frank said:
A friend of mine visiting Seattle this week sent me a picture of meat prices in the US.

It's literally pennies on the dollar compared to here.

How are you all not billionaires when food is that cheap?
Click to expand...
Because billionaires pay people pennies on the dollar.
 
Frank

Frank

You know, I generally don't have concern about which day of the week it is. I work shift work and not regular hours, but this week, I don't mind stepping on @GasBandit's toes.

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dei said:
Because billionaires pay people pennies on the dollar.
Click to expand...
Touche.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Frank said:
You know, I generally don't have concern about which day of the week it is. I work shift work and not regular hours, but this week, I don't mind stepping on @GasBandit's toes.

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Touche.
Click to expand...
Oh come on it was barely 5:30 >_< even HCGLNS gives me til 7 or 8 usually.

Anyway, yeah, it's fridaaaaay. Doofus.

 
blotsfan

blotsfan

Last night, my wife and I went out for a nice dinner. She ordered a steak but out of caution from the pregnancy, ordered it well-done. The waitress told her no and said the chef won't cook steaks well-done. So my wife had to tell the waitress that she was pregnant and then she was able to convince the chef to make the steak. I should've given him a link to this place.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

blotsfan said:
Last night, my wife and I went out for a nice dinner. She ordered a steak but out of caution from the pregnancy, ordered it well-done. The waitress told her no and said the chef won't cook steaks well-done. So my wife had to tell the waitress that she was pregnant and then she was able to convince the chef to make the steak. I should've given him a link to this place.
Click to expand...
I'm still with the waitress, if it's a nice place order anything else but the steak.
 
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