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Or, "How the Pirates will disappoint DarkAudit again this year."

My Brewers are ready with their latest acquisition: HANK!

Stray Dog makes the Brewers, will join team in Milwaukee

I feel like the Giants did nothing to improve this year. And they still have one of the worst farm systems in the league. When your plan for the season is "let's just pray no one gets injured, ever," then you are not going to go anywhere.

I don't even know how the Mariners did this off-season except for the fact that we kept King Felix and we got Cano. Will that be enough? Well, no, because Felix and Kuma can't pitch every other day. But it will be nice to have at least one good hitter. Maybe we'll lose a few less games by a score of 1 - 0.

You might actually contend for fourth in the division.

I appreciate the normal name for this season. WTF was honkbal?

And if you change it to spite me then fuck you.

"Honkbal" is the name of the game in Dutch. I named it that last year because of the Netherlands' success in the World Baseball Classic.

let's go the Astros, bitch

And there you go. Seattle finishes at least fourth in the AL West.

jwhouk said:

And there you go. Seattle finishes at least fourth in the AL West.

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no arguments here

After a winter full of non-moves, the fans here are nervous. 82-80 will be fine by me. Anything beyond that is gravy.

As long as we finish ahead of the Cubs and Pi-rates.

I can't wait to sit and watch a baseball game.

Tress said:

I feel like the Giants did nothing to improve this year. And they still have one of the worst farm systems in the league. When your plan for the season is "let's just pray no one gets injured, ever," then you are not going to go anywhere.

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Morse I think is a nice addition, he's looked good at the plate during Spring training. Panda has lost a ton of weight, and the last time he did that he was better at the plate too. Yeah, we need to hope everyone stays healthy, but I think we have all the tools to make another run at the championship again.

Hopefully The Astros get out of the Comcast agreement this year, and maybe I can see some games this year. I've followed this team for nearly 20 years, and I don't think I can name a single player now. That comes from them trading off all their players and the terrible cable deal that keeps over half of their fan base with no way to watch their games.

Cheesy1 said:

Morse I think is a nice addition, he's looked good at the plate during Spring training. Panda has lost a ton of weight, and the last time he did that he was better at the plate too. Yeah, we need to hope everyone stays healthy, but I think we have all the tools to make another run at the championship again.

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That lack of depth worries me so much. There is no one in AAA if they need a replacement for any reason. If they don't make a deep run at the playoffs, they need to consider trading everyone not named Cain, Bumgarner, and Posey to start reloading for the coming years.

MLB approved protective caps for pitchers in January. Would it have protected Chapman? There's still a whole lot of face left exposed even if you are wearing one of those.

sixpackshaker said:

Hopefully The Astros get out of the Comcast agreement this year, and maybe I can see some games this year. I've followed this team for nearly 20 years, and I don't think I can name a single player now. That comes from them trading off all their players and the terrible cable deal that keeps over half of their fan base with no way to watch their games.

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MLB.tv + VPN. I did that with NHL GameCenter Live and it worked great.

Yankees lost Cano, and Jeter is retiring after this season, but new arms on the mound and I think they'll be able to make a better run of it then last year.

DarkAudit said:

MLB approved protective caps for pitchers in January. Would it have protected Chapman? There's still a whole lot of face left exposed even if you are wearing one of those.

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Probably not. I don't even think a BP screen would protect anything.

It's a bit ironic that the pitcher's name is "Chapman". Sadly ironic.

Bought MLB.tv Premium this year. It continues to be the best digital sports offering out there. I'm kind of kicking myself for not spending the extra $25 to include MiLB.tv. My only annoyance is that the only 2 games on right now feature the two "local" teams so the video is blacked out (not the radio broadcasts strangely). Local is in quotes, as both the Nationals and the Orioles are 4 and 5 hours away from me.[DOUBLEPOST=1396635809,1396635318][/DOUBLEPOST]Cubs Phillies just started, so I have something to watch while working.

I love the Cubs, they remind me that as bad as things seem for my sports teams, it could always be much, much worse.

If we're taking about the Yanks...eh, this might not be the season high you want to go out on Jeter.

But in MLB related news, I think the Mets' Daniel Murphy is a class act and has his priorities straight. Can't say the same for certain sports radio commentators...

let's go the fuckin' Astros!!!

And that explains everything about Charlie.

See, he's an ASTROS fan.

Anyone who's had to put up with the #### he has over the last several years since the Killer B's retired would have the same attitude.

Astros fans are more likely angry that they can't watch the games on TV. Than they are angry about the team being terrible.

jwhouk said:

And that explains everything about Charlie.

See, he's an ASTROS fan.

Anyone who's had to put up with the #### he has over the last several years since the Killer B's retired would have the same attitude.

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Ahem.

Try TWENTY years. And most of the 80s as well.

The tragedy of it is that I have Comcast and have watched way too many Astros games in the last ~7 years since I moved to Texas/adopted them

Well, you're just special, DA.

The best hit of the Cub's 2014 season.

Their left fielder had the wrong jersey on to start the game the other day.

sixpackshaker said:

The best hit of the Cub's 2014 season.

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That's...not actually the mascot. That's some creepy guy who dresses up as a bear and pretends to be the mascot, and then acts like an asshole to people around the park before and after the game. The Cubs have instructed him to stop several times, and actually created their own mascot just so they could legally make him stop pretending to be one.

<sigh> New Manager, new players, new season, same old Mariners.

So the Yankees made an around the horn triple play last night in Tampa.

http://m.mlb.com/video/topic/70087564/v32159635

Jacoby Ellsbury has been doing a fine job in pinstripes, and Tanaka is living up to his reputation so far. Jeter seems like he's working his way back, if he can keep healthy (which, at 40, is a big if).

Teixiera is well on his way to becoming Bruce Willis' supervillain nemesis, the way he's going.

I hope the Yankees can make it to the world series this year, but it's too early to tell.

A walk-off grand slam. Are you kidding me?! God damn we need some pitchers.

Muck Filwaukee. GTFO of our league, interlopers. Bring back Houston.

Tell your trash talking pitcher to shut up first.

jwhouk said:

Tell your trash talking pitcher to shut up first.

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Um, no. Gomez has a history...

He who is without sin, cast the first pictures of Barry Bonds and Bobby Bonilla doing the exact same thing years ago.

You know, back when you guys were "good"?

Not Major League ball, but here's a video of an Umpire at a minor league game ejecting the organist for playing 3 blind mice.

Suspensions came down from MLB today:

• Martin Maldonado, Brewers: five games
• Carlos Gomez, Brewers: three games (he is appealing, as he already stated)
• Travis Snider: Pirates: two games
• Russell Martin, Pirates: one game

Cole got nothing. Reports are that his only comment was "flick your bat for a homer, not a flyball".

It's sad. The Houston Second-to-Lastro's just doesn't have the same ring to it. But we'll always be the Seattle Moroners.

Don't beat yourself up over it, Gared. You've got yourselves positioned for the long haul; now you just need to get some pitching out there.

You'd think pitchers would flock to Seattle, because of the conditions @ Safeco (sea level, humidity).

Okay, Red Sox, I wasn't expecting a repeat. I wasn't expecting another shocking season. But a nine game losing streak? Come on, now!

Beckett throws the first no-no of the season. Free pizza will cause the MLB webiste to crash at 3 PM ET Tuesday.

jwhouk said:

Beckett throws the first no-no in history. Free pizza will cause the MLB webiste to crash at 3 PM ET Tuesday.

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Not sure what you mean by that. Beckett threw his first no-hitter, but there have been many no-hitters before (281 by official reckoning), and he walked three, so it wasn't a perfect game (of which there have been 23.)

All right, all right, I was half asleep when I wrote that. Sue me.

It was the first of the year.

I love baseball.

Crew ties it in the bottom of the ninth, K-Rod gets the O's down in the 10th; they walk the winning run on in the bottom of the inning to bring up the pitcher's spot.

It's a pitcher, all right - tomorrow's starter, Yovanni Gallardo. He of the career .202/.348/.230 percentages.

And what does he do?

Just lace a double to left center that scores the winning run.

I love baseball.

(munches on a slice of pizza)

Fank yu Yash Behkit.

(munches on some more pizza)

(clears throat)

Oh and DA? About Carlos? I got at least one girl in Wisconsin who likes him.

I'm happy that I was wrong about the Giants supposed lack of improvement during the offseason. I had no idea Hudson and Morse would be such vast improvements over their predecessors.

The lack of depth is still scary, though, especially with the starting rotation.

But hey, a 6 game lead over the fucking Bums! Not a bad way to start the season.

SPRINGER DINGERS

(munches on a slice of pizza)

Fank yu Crayton Kehshaw.

(munches on some more pizza)

(clears throat)

Mmm. I've had more Domino's Pizza this year than I've had in about two decades.

30 MLB first basemen reciting a speech made 75 years ago today:

You know, I seem to remember something about an adage in baseball: "First on the Fourth, First at the end."

Gee, what do those standings look like, @DarkAudit?

Still atop the Central at the break.

It must be... Crew Love.

Hmmm...Red Sox drop The Most Hated a Player In The Majors, and immediately win 8 of their next nine.

Coincidence?

The bad news is, David Price is now a Detroit Tiger.

The good news is, he isn't a Pittsburgh Pirate!

Hey, DA, you wanna tell your boys to STOP WINNING BALLGAMES for a while?

It's just a three game series this weekend, no big deal

*hyperventilates into a paper bag*

(goes and sobs quietly in the corner)

jwhouk said:

(goes and sobs quietly in the corner)

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Something wrong?

May you get slaughtered in the play-in game, Bucco Boy.

This is lovely. Not only do the Buccos clinch their playoff spot in Atlanta, they close out the season series with the Barves with an absolute curbstomping. (10-0 as I type this).

Nice way to close out your final home game, Captain. (I wish the Yanks had give you a better final season, but too late now.)

Not to gloat or anything, but that was loss #82 for the Barves.

The Astros didn't lose 100 games!!!!!

I want the Brewers to lose out the rest of the season, even if it is to the horrendous Cubs.

Because going from first place in late July to 81-81 would mean Attanasio would HAVE to make heads roll.

Can you imagine what would have happened last night had the pitcher intentionally walked Jeter or hit him with a pitch instead of throwing him a meatball?

Dave said:

Can you imagine what would have happened last night had the pitcher intentionally walked Jeter or hit him with a pitch instead of throwing him a meatball?

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If he'd hit him with a pitch, the crowd would have been howling for his blood. As for a meatball... well, yeah, it certainly didn't seem to have a lot of movement on it, though the first two batters ahead of Jeter made contact in fairly short order as well - base hit and sacrifice bunt. So it wasn't like he was throwing dynamite to start with. As for an intentional walk? You'd have two runners on, one out, with the cleanup guys in the batting order coming up. That's not exactly a great call, unless you assume the double-play.

Yankees Stadium is going to miss Jeter. 20 years, a class act. One of the best of all time all-around players.

It was definitely a meatball pitch. The guy threw the same first pitch to both of the batters in front of him. Same pitch, same speed. Jeter knew what was coming.

Dave said:

It was definitely a meatball pitch. The guy threw the same first pitch to both of the batters in front of him. Same pitch, same speed. Jeter knew what was coming.

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So Showalter wanted to throw the game, by putting a runner in scoring position and then giving it up? While fighting for home field advantage in the post-season, too. Yes, that seems more likely than a guy with over 3,000 career hits getting an actual base hit in a big moment.

Null keeps stealing all my answers, so I'm just going to sit here and agree with him.

With 3 games left in the season, the only way that was happening was if they won out and the Angels lost them all. And since the Angels had already won, this loss does almost nothing to the O's. No pitcher starts all three batters off in the same inning with the same pitch at the same speed. Not at that level. It was telegraphed and gift-wrapped.

Don't mind me, I'm just sitting over here in the corner, weeping upon hearing that the F###ING KANSAS CITY ROYALS made the playoffs.

Now that Lorde song may get to be popular again...

I guess that makes it worse news.

sixpackshaker said:

Now that Lorde song may get to be popular again...

I guess that makes it worse news.

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Just imagine how big it'll be if they make it to the World Series.

Null said:

Just imagine how big it'll be if they make it to the World Series.

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Nah. The stars are aligning for yet another Pittsburgh-Baltimore series.

And the door is closed on the career of Derek Sanderson Jeter, in his final game at Fenway Park, the Yankees winning 9-5 over the Red Sox. Jeter went 1-for-2, with an RBI single.

Career numbers (regular season):
Games played: 2,747 (26th)
At-bats: 11,195 (7th)
Runs: 1,923 (9th)
Average: .309 (77th - tied)
Hits: 3,465 (6th)
Total bases: 4,921 (21st)
Doubles: 544 (29th)
Triples: 66 (433rd - tied)
Home runs: 260 (188th - tied)
RBI: 1,311 (104th - tied)
Walks: 1,082 (39 intentional)
Strikeouts: 1,840 (85th)
Stolen bases: 358 (103rd)
Caught stealing: 97 (126th - tied)
On-base percentage: .377 (128th - tied)
Slugging percentage: .440 (296th - tied)
OPS: .817 (212th - tied)

His postseason numbers are hard to believe, in fact he effectively played an entire full season just in the postseason:
158 games (#1 all time)
650 at bats (#1 all time)
111 runs scored (#1st all time)
200 hits (#1 all time)
302 total bases (#1 all time)
32 doubles (#1 all time)
5 triples (tied #1 all time)
20 home runs (#3 all time)
61 RBIs (#4 all time)
66 base on balls (#5 all time)
135 strikeouts (#1 all time)
18 stolen bases (#6 all time)
143 singles (#1 all time)

Wisconsin boy makes good. Auburndale Wisconsin's Jordan Zimmerman no-no's the Marlins on the final day of the season.

Altuve won the batting title! Including a couple hits on the last game of the season after convincing the GM to let him play / go down swinging, so to speak.

Ross Barnes to Old Hoss Radbourn to Cy Young to Pete Alexander to Lefty Gomez to Warren Spahn to Steve Carlton to Randy Johnson to Madison Bumgarner.

Gee, it got awful quiet there at PNC Park all of a sudden.

Isn't it glorious?

Niners have a 7-0 lead on the Steelers on Wednesday Night Football...

Bye, Pittsburgh, thanks for playing.

Go... Royals?

First night in a week I was able to sleep in and that's exactly what I did.

136 days until spring training, fella.

In case I haven't said it lately, I HATE THE CARDINALS.

Baseball rooting interests:

1) Royals
2) Nationals
3) Orioles
4) Dodgers
5) Tigers
6) Angels
7) Giants
8) Cardinals

jwhouk said:

In case I haven't said it lately, I HATE THE CARDINALS.

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Damn right.

Charlie Don't Surf said:

Baseball rooting interests:

1) Royals
2) Nationals
3) Orioles
4) Dodgers
5) Tigers
6) Angels
7) Giants
8) Cardinals

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Why so low for the Giants?

They just won the WS twice really recently. Y'all spoilt. :O

I have hated the Cardinals since October of 1982. I will continue to hate them forever.

Giants take 2-0 series lead, the LONG way around!

LOL Tigers.

Mmmm, Dodger tears are delicious!

Go Orioles! Let's see a Cardinals v Orioles World Series, with Baltimore sweeping it!

Ehhhh... that World Series sound like it would be for the birds.

Royals, Orioles, Giants, Cardinals.

And that's about the order of my rooting interests at the moment.

jwhouk said:

Royals, Orioles, Giants, Cardinals.

And that's about the order of my rooting interests at the moment.

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"Image not to scale," otherwise Giants would be waaaaaay down there, and the Cards would be about 5 pages further down.

(well it is for me.)

The only thing we agree upon is our mutual hatred for the Cardinals.

Are the Giants no longer scrappy underdogs? Did we become the Evil Empire at some point, and I missed it?

Having a couple of World Series pennants flying over your ballpark does that to your cred.

Damn it Romo, you just had to get through ONE inning. Didn't even get past two pitches.

Cheesy loves Travis Ishikawa.

Damn straight I do! That was awesome!

The great national nightmare is over: the Cardinals' season is officially over.

Giants vs. Royals for the title.

And I really hope the Giants win again, just because it would piss off my brother's Dodger-loving friend SO much!

Fuck yeah!

jwhouk said:

The great national nightmare is over: the Cardinals' season is officially over.

Giants vs. Royals for the title.

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And if trends continue, Royals in 4.

Sorry, Cheesy, I agree with the kid from West Virginia.

Royals in 4.

For anyone who's wondering why Travis Ishikawa is Cheesy's new man crush:

https://twitter.com/MLBGIFs/status/522953838966222848/photo/1

Giants in 6.

DarkAudit said:

And if trends continue, Royals in 4.

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jwhouk said:

Sorry, Cheesy, I agree with the kid from West Virginia.

Royals in 4.

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Ha! The Royals may win, but it won't be in 4.

Tress said:

Ha! The Royals may win, but it won't be in 4.

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I'm getting a lecture from Olbermann about that at this very moment.

Man, I wish the Giants would score like this more often, it would make things a whole lot less torturous!

Cheesy1 said:

Man, I wish the Giants would score like this more often, it would make things a whole lot less torturous!

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But isn't their slogan "it's torture!"?

Several sources are reporting that 22 year old Cardinals OF Oscar Taveras has died in a car crash in the Dominican Republic tonight.

They announced it a little bit ago during the broadcast as well. Just tragic.

Yeah, yeah, get you next year turkey. You only win the even years, anyways.

...and idiots riot in the streets. Oy.