Man, I remember good old games like that. I was horrible at them but they were still fun.
[Thread Game] Terrible Video Game Descriptions (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)
- Thread starter BananaHands
- Start date
figmentPez
Staff member
Since no one else seems to be trying, and it's a pretty obscure reference: It's one of the old Gold Box D&D games: Curse of the Azure Bonds. In the game you wake up with blue tattoos and no memory of who you are or how you got them, in a town that's locked down for the security of a visiting queen (I think.) There's not a lot to do in town aside from buy equipment and get in a bar fight. My friend and I fought the same bar fight over and over. Our party was the extremely well balanced group of 2 rangers and 4 fighters, all in full plate mail and most often wielding two handed swords. Our characters always had 18 for all their stats, because we cheated (and we never had female characters, because they could only have 18(50) strength, instead of 18(00).
One time wewe managed to progress the story, which meant showing up at the guards just as the queen was passing. My friend and I never figured out what made the queen come by, we were too stupid to realize it was a set in-game time. We then reached the sewers and some pretty interesting fights, but our party balance was horrible, we had no idea what we were doing with identifying magic items, and we just generally failed at the game.
Lode Runner
GasBandit
Staff member
Yeah, it was too good a description.
GasBandit
Staff member
Princess Maker 2.
BananaHands
Staff member
JAAAAAASON!
You'll notice it took me a whole 2 min to get it, too.
I have the anthology, but I never made it past the first one (Pool of Radiance). I got really far into it, then my saves got wiped and I never restarted the series.
--Patrick
Spec Ops: The Line
And
Football Manager...let's say 2013[DOUBLEPOST=1358216224][/DOUBLEPOST]-Child has an enabling mother and an absentee father
-Violently assaults people, acting as a vigilante
-Next door neighbor is a piece of shit
-Doesn't discriminate based on which side of the law you're on, gang member or police alike taste his fury
-Likes having his picture taken
-Friends dig martial arts and rockets
And
Football Manager...let's say 2013[DOUBLEPOST=1358216224][/DOUBLEPOST]-Child has an enabling mother and an absentee father
-Violently assaults people, acting as a vigilante
-Next door neighbor is a piece of shit
-Doesn't discriminate based on which side of the law you're on, gang member or police alike taste his fury
-Likes having his picture taken
-Friends dig martial arts and rockets
Your absentee father certainly paid more than his fair share of child support though.
Still probably my favourite SNES game.
BananaHands
Staff member
- Slugs on a train.
- Con with a heart of gold.
- Girl with a bowl cut.
- TEAMWORK.
-we need guns, lots of guns...
-A wild planet full of interesting people and creatures.
- Mysteries and mission that need solving
-4 heroes working together to survive[DOUBLEPOST=1358264103][/DOUBLEPOST]
-A wild planet full of interesting people and creatures.
- Mysteries and mission that need solving
-4 heroes working together to survive[DOUBLEPOST=1358264103][/DOUBLEPOST]
resident evil zero?
Borderlands
EDIT: actually I realize that actually describes bl as well. fair enough, a winner that quickly
BananaHands
Staff member
GasBandit
Staff member
Portal.
BananaHands
Staff member
Yesh. 
Duke Nukem?
Every Mario Kart
Civilization I-V
Killer Instinct?
I could dial in a 100 hit combo as fulgore, walk away to make a sammich, and be back for the last hit.
Exactly. Your friend and likely your parents' TV would be missing.
Go for an extended cruise.
Go to bars and meet people.
Meet wealthy men, seduce their daughters.
Learn to dance.
Get involved in aggressive negotiations.
Go to bars and meet people.
Meet wealthy men, seduce their daughters.
Learn to dance.
Get involved in aggressive negotiations.
