So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (11/07/2009 GF's BDAY Edition)

[Shegokigo]

*Disclaimer, this is full of 'bawww. If you'd rather not read it, don't bother posting some idiotic response about 'bawwing in general.

So I finally decided to take some time off from work (not alot, just 5 days) considering I working 6 days a week all year round. I've been in an extra bad place in the past few weeks, grating on my "situation" more and more, compounding things by torturing myself with sites like "Soulgeek" and "Geek2geek". Torture why? Because there are such awesome girlies on those sites that share so many of my interests and are cute too boot. Yet I'm "stuck" and can't persue them.

So these 5 days are going to land on the weekend and I've decided that I'm going to go visit my brother who lives 4hrs away. My GF always comes on these trips/vacations with me, but this time, due to school, she can't. (I planned it that way) So for the first time in 6 years (with maybe one exception) we're not going to be together for a few days. I mean we've literally not slept apart from each other more than 2 whole days in 6 years. So this is coming down hard on her (not so much on me since I really could care less).

Why do this? I really need a break. Not only from work, but from her. I need to remind myself that maybe, just maybe, I can make it without her and find someone who I can really connect with on most levels. What's the plan? I'm going to be talking to a couple of girls in the area where my brother lives and maybe, if I can get the timing right, go on a couple of dates before I come back. I NEED to see that there are options and as long as I'm home and have her around, I never will.

Is this "wrong"? Well obviously, yeah. I mean we sleep with other people often, but always with each other's consent and presence. This plan though, is pretty much, cheating on her to an extent. I'm slightly bothered by it mainly because I've never cheated on anyone, ever. I've been cheated on but never done it.

If this goes well, I may go through with something I've been talking to my GF about and that's moving to my brother's city a year before my GF graduates so that I can begin my schooling (as there is no college with a good Culinary program near here), but we'd see each other on weekends/holidays etc.

Wall_of_Text_00_01 crits you for 1,000,000pts of dmg.

 

[Cajungal]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Yikes, if she can't deal with you being away for that short a time, I don't blame you for the frustration.

Good luck with all this. It's not easy to break away from the familiar. I hope that you can eventually come clean with her. Whatever happens, I hope it turns out to be just what you need.

 

[bhamv3]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Actually, I would say some time apart is healthy for a lot of couples. My girlfriend and I are both quite independent, so we spend so much time apart we've had people ask us, "Are you sure you're a couple?" You two have spent six years without any time to yourself, I can't even imagine something like that.

Take some time off, away from her, and see what you want. Maybe after your trip you'll decide you still want to stay with her. Maybe you'll decide you want to break up. Maybe you'll decide you want to join a nunnery. Whatever happens, g'luck!

 

[Gusto]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Sometimes you gotta take a risk rather than idling in what's most comfortable.

Best of luck Shegs, be strong. :uhhuh:

 

[Ravenpoe]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

You know, from reading your situation in this relationship in past threads, I'm proud of you. This sounds like something you should have done a long time ago, and it's good that you're finally managing to try.

If you ultimately decide to break it off, though, don't string the girl along. It'd be bad for both of you.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Time for yourself is not wrong and I find it necessary for a healthy relationship. Good luck.

 

[Bubble181]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Yikes, 6 years with never more than 2 nights apart? That IS pretty bad. I can absolutely agree you wanting to break free....Though I personally couldn't/woulnd't cheat on her in your place. I dunno, I could never do it.
It might be a good thing for you, though, so best of luck with whatever you do...And if you happen to run into soe of those cute nerdy girls who like guys too, send them my way :-P

 

[Shegokigo]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Want really crazy?

At one point for a full year, a little over probably, we both worked at the same place, the same shift, and lived together. So that was a full year and so many months together 24hrs a day. :bush:

As for the "cheating", it's not like I'm going "one-night standing". I just want to see what it'd be like to actually be "out" with someone who can actually hold a decent conversation on even the smallest topics. rly:

 

[Baerdog]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I'm glad to hear that you've decided to take some action regarding your situation. Sometimes people in relationships just need some time apart. Being together, constantly, like you two seem to have been can be a real strain. My girlfriend and I are both independent and often stubborn people. We would both go insane if we had to spend every moment together. If this trip helps you to start trying to get yourself in a better position, then it will be a good thing. Just be careful word of any trysts doesn't get back to your girlfriend or you could end up broken up a lot sooner than planned.

 

[Frank]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I'm more in the boat that you should be honest with your girlfriend rather than sneak off and see other people behind her back. However, I'm not you and I don't understand your situation beyond what you've written on the forums.

If this comes off as internet judgemental. I'm not trying to be.

 

[Cajungal]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Want really crazy?

At one point for a full year, a little over probably, we both worked at the same place, the same shift, and lived together. So that was a full year and so many months together 24hrs a day. :bush:

Good Lord.

 

[Bubble181]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

As for the "cheating", it's not like I'm going "one-night standing". I just want to see what it'd be like to actually be "out" with someone who can actually hold a decent conversation on even the smallest topics. rly:

In that case, I applaud you and your ability to do so

 

[Shegokigo]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Here's another fun little tidbit: I've gone from a 3yr relationship, to a 4yr one to this 6yr one. I've never really dated and all 3 of these relationships I've had were pretty much me "clinging on to someone so I could float along a little longer" and never because I felt any real connection to them.

I'm more in the boat that you should be honest with your girlfriend rather than sneak off and see other people behind her back. However, I'm not you and I don't understand your situation beyond what you've written on the forums.

If this comes off as internet judgemental. I'm not trying to be.

What I've written, is what it is. I really don't hold back when posting about it. I do know what you're saying though, I'm not trying to justify it, I just trying to see if when I'm "out" if all I do is think of my GF or I really get into the person I go out with.

 

[Shannow]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw

 

[Dave]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I'm more in the boat that you should be honest with your girlfriend rather than sneak off and see other people behind her back. However, I'm not you and I don't understand your situation beyond what you've written on the forums.

If this comes off as internet judgemental. I'm not trying to be.

What I've written, is what it is. I really don't hold back when posting about it. I do know what you're saying though, I'm not trying to justify it, I just trying to see if when I'm "out" if all I do is think of my GF or I really get into the person I go out with.[/QUOTE]

You will totally be into the person that you go out with. It's called "strange" and it's the reason a lot of people cheat. New "loves" are exciting, a bit dangerous and there's that element of the unknown thrown in.

Just don't mistake lust for love and make a mistake that's hard to come back from.

Or send a friend over to your house to seduce your girlfriend while you're gone. That way if she finds out you can guilt the fuck out of her.

 

[Shegokigo]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Well, I'd hope that if I had any feeling for my current GF I wouldn't be able to be "into" the "new".

Then again, as I posted, I don't have alot of experience in that department.

 

[bhamv3]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I'm more in the boat that you should be honest with your girlfriend rather than sneak off and see other people behind her back. However, I'm not you and I don't understand your situation beyond what you've written on the forums.

If this comes off as internet judgemental. I'm not trying to be.

What I've written, is what it is. I really don't hold back when posting about it. I do know what you're saying though, I'm not trying to justify it, I just trying to see if when I'm "out" if all I do is think of my GF or I really get into the person I go out with.[/QUOTE]

You will totally be into the person that you go out with. It's called "strange" and it's the reason a lot of people cheat. New "loves" are exciting, a bit dangerous and there's that element of the unknown thrown in.

Just don't mistake lust for love and make a mistake that's hard to come back from.

Or send a friend over to your house to seduce your girlfriend while you're gone. That way if she finds out you can guilt the fuck out of her. [/QUOTE]

Shall we start nominating Halforumites for this job?

 

[Bubble181]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

That way if she finds out you can fuck the guilt out of her.

I'm sorry, I read it this way.

 

[Shegokigo]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I totally did too Bubble, I did a double take the first time I read it.

 

[Bubble181]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I totally did too Bubble, I did a double take the first time I read it.

It's a scary thought that the more I read about/of you, the more I realize we do, in fact, have quite a few things in common. Great minds and all that, no doubt

 

[Ross]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I approve of this thread, and the ideas portrayed herein.

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Is UT the school in question?

 

[Chibibar]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shego.... I'm proud of you Well I am glad you are deciding to go for happiness than "what is there" I think it might be good for you. You might be able to reflect what you have now and what you could have in the future.

normally I don't condone cheating (without your partner knowing) but I think you should see what can make you happy.

 

[tegid]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Well done! Hope you don't feel too guilty afterwards... Try to think that maybe you'll be technically cheating, but somehow you won't. You'll be just looking at the menu, not eating something you shouldn't (hmph, that works better in Spanish).

 

[Iaculus]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Well done! Hope you don't feel too guilty afterwards... Try to think that maybe you'll be technically cheating, but somehow you won't. You'll be just looking at the menu, not eating something you shouldn't (hmph, that works better in Spanish).

Really? Seems to work pretty well in English. In fact, I might borrow it sometime.

Yoink!

 

[SeraRelm]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Shego, stop calling me. I'm not coming over to your place to fuck the guilt out of your GF.



Without you and my wife there too
.

 

[Shegokigo]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Is UT the school in question?

Nope, but it is in the Norther Texas area. :slywink:

Shego.... I'm proud of you Well I am glad you are deciding to go for happiness than "what is there" I think it might be good for you. You might be able to reflect what you have now and what you could have in the future.

normally I don't condone cheating (without your partner knowing) but I think you should see what can make you happy.

Well done! Hope you don't feel too guilty afterwards... Try to think that maybe you'll be technically cheating, but somehow you won't. You'll be just looking at the menu, not eating something you shouldn't (hmph, that works better in Spanish).

Well, if I realize that my GF really truly isn't what I need in my life after this weekend, I'll be cutting it off there. So I don't see where any guilt may lie. If I realize that my GF really does mean more to me after seeing someonelse casually, then my feelings will be 'realized' and if anything, I'll be grateful I did it.

 

[drawn_inward]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I'm more in the boat that you should be honest with your girlfriend rather than sneak off and see other people behind her back. However, I'm not you and I don't understand your situation beyond what you've written on the forums.

If this comes off as internet judgemental. I'm not trying to be.

What I've written, is what it is. I really don't hold back when posting about it. I do know what you're saying though, I'm not trying to justify it, I just trying to see if when I'm "out" if all I do is think of my GF or I really get into the person I go out with.[/QUOTE]

You will totally be into the person that you go out with. It's called "strange" and it's the reason a lot of people cheat. New "loves" are exciting, a bit dangerous and there's that element of the unknown thrown in.

Just don't mistake lust for love and make a mistake that's hard to come back from.
[/QUOTE]

I'm with Dave on this. The grass is always greener.

However, from previous threads, it doesn't sound like you want to be with your current gf. What's the point of staying with her? I know you want to have her support you when she finishes school, but that won't give you a very fulfilling relationship.

I would probably talk to your gf and tell her your concerns. Stringing someone along until something better comes along isn't cool.

 

[SeraRelm]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I can only hope your crucible is not a painful one.

 

[AshburnerX]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

For good or ill, if your not happy, you need to find something that makes you happy. If doing this is going to make you happy or at least make you feel like you've tried to find something that will, then go for it. Don't worry about the honesty of it, if you really feel bad about it, you can always confess later (and by the sound of it, your girlfriend is probably enough of a doormat that she'll let it go.)

 

[Vytamindi]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Having been in a long distance relationship that recently went under, I kinda did jump the shark on the first guy who really tried to show that he had feelings for me. In fact, the first few months of our relationship (when we were still long distance) I kept telling everyone that I was just along for the ride. Needless to say, I got very lucky and fell in love with him. Yes, it was different at first (and that's why I liked it), but that difference made me realize that it was EXACTLY what I need right now.

After being with someone for such a long time (and in your case, finally being apart from them), it feels good, well, at least for me.

But to be honest, I would do the whole "better to ask for forgiveness than permission" thing with this. I hate to relate love to a job, but if your job is leaving you feeling less than fulfilled, why wouldn't you try looking around?

If you go and come back, you could realize how wrong you were and be honest, or how right it felt and be honest. I think whatever happens, you owe it to your girlfriend to be honest about what happened no matter what happens.

You deserve to be happy!!!

 

[Shegokigo]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

I would probably talk to your gf and tell her your concerns. Stringing someone along until something better comes along isn't cool.

"I haven't loved you for the past 6yrs, I only used you for financial security and sexual promiscuity."

Probably wouldn't go over pretty well. As for "stringing her along", I wouldn't call it exactly that. I wasn't out looking for potential people to dump her for, she was just never important to me on an emotional level. It's just recently getting to the point where I'm beginning to want something more than just money and se..... wow was I really going to say that?

I think I really am starting to think that way now..... :bush:

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

Hmm. UNT is about 4 hours away from Austin

 

[Shegokigo]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

For good or ill, if your not happy, you need to find something that makes you happy. If doing this is going to make you happy or at least make you feel like you've tried to find something that will, then go for it. Don't worry about the honesty of it, if you really feel bad about it, you can always confess later (and by the sound of it, your girlfriend is probably enough of a doormat that she'll let it go.)

I really don't see myself feeling bad for doing it, either way the outcome is. It's for the best in either result. At least, for what I can forsee.

Having been in a long distance relationship that recently went under, I kinda did jump the shark on the first guy who really tried to show that he had feelings for me. In fact, the first few months of our relationship (when we were still long distance) I kept telling everyone that I was just along for the ride. Needless to say, I got very lucky and fell in love with him. Yes, it was different at first (and that's why I liked it), but that difference made me realize that it was EXACTLY what I need right now.

After being with someone for such a long time (and in your case, finally being apart from them), it feels good, well, at least for me.

But to be honest, I would do the whole "better to ask for forgiveness than permission" thing with this. I hate to relate love to a job, but if your job is leaving you feeling less than fulfilled, why wouldn't you try looking around?

If you go and come back, you could realize how wrong you were and be honest, or how right it felt and be honest. I think whatever happens, you owe it to your girlfriend to be honest about what happened no matter what happens.

You deserve to be happy!!!

I have no real idea how to leave her if I do decide to. She's just so emotionally invested in me I couldn't predict her actions if I tried. I kinda broke her "indepence" button when we got together and she really has trouble being apart for me for even a few hours. rly:

 

[rvdleun]

So I'm Leaving MY GF, sortof - (Baww Thread, Stay Out If You Don't Like It)

All I can say is: Good luck, and hope you can find whatever it is you're searching for.