Post a movie worse than the poster above you

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Steve

Steve

Yeah, Charlie had the good movie thread but I've always been a fan of bad movies. Movies that had good intentions but just downright sucked. So using the rules from Charlie's thread what is the worst movie you have ever seen.

Rules:

1) You should probably genuinely think your movie is worse than the one before.
2) No posts that are just "Movie Title". At least a couple words about why your movie is good and/or the other one is not as good.
3) SUPER obscure movies are fine here.
4) The game will never end - just like a bad movie never seems like it's going to end.

Dungeonmaster (1985)

Basically a nerd (Paul) gets challenged by the devil to compete in seven challenges. One of the challenges is a giant stone statue that comes alive and attacks. But the statue has a weak spot. . . on the soul of his foot. The one area you'd not want a weak spot. Of course our nerdy hero finds it and defeats the giant. He wins the first six challenges. The seventh challenge is a race ala Road Warriors where Paul wins but while celebrating his win ends up crashing his car and the devil calls that a loss. So what does Paul do? He challenges the devil to a fist fight. And who know Satan was such a pussy. He got his ass handed to him by Paul and being a demon of honor lets Paul leave the blazing pits of hell. This is truly the worst movie I've ever witnessed. Some movies are so bad they are fun. This movie is not one of them.

 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

The Pledge

Jack Nicolson

Directed by Sean Penn.

I'd rather watch paint dry. I think in one scene you do, because nothing else happens.
 
Krisken

Krisken

Meatballs 2. This sorry excuse of fecal matter masquerading as a kids film takes a mediocre movie and makes a sequel based on, get this, an alien going to summer camp here on earth. He has weird alien powers and helps to rig a boxing match, which is supposedly the climax of the film.

Terrible. Terrible terrible. Do not watch if you prefer not to experience a form of stigmata.
 
DarkAudit

DarkAudit

Speed Racer.

An assault on the ears, eyeballs, and brain. None of it in a good way. I was frantically searching for the remote to stop the torture after only 20 minutes.
 
Steve

Steve

Krisken said:
Meatballs 2. This sorry excuse of fecal matter masquerading as a kids film takes a mediocre movie and makes a sequel based on, get this, an alien going to summer camp here on earth. He has weird alien powers and helps to rig a boxing match, which is supposedly the climax of the film.

Terrible. Terrible terrible. Do not watch if you prefer not to experience a form of stigmata.
Click to expand...
Oh God, Meatballs 2. I forgot about that. Me Ted. Meathead. Horrible movie.

Along the same lines was Scott Baio's Zapped. Still not sure what that movie was about. Some guy gets telekinetic power and uses it to disrobe women so he can check out their yams? Hmmm. Maybe I need to rewatch that one.
 
Steve

Steve

Gymkata. Gymkata? GYMKATA!!!!!


And I would name this one of the most disturbing movies ever made. Is there an audience for limbless martial arts experts? And watching a dangling nub for arms or legs flailing around making minced meat out of fully limbed martial arts experts is puzzling at best.
 
Steve

Steve

To all of you that have Netflix do yourself a favor and don't stream "Wrong Side of Town" starring RVD (the wrestler). I was thinking it was Jeane Claude Van Damn (which is not much better I know). This is one steaming pile of bad movie. Horrible acting. Lame effects. Laughable villains. I made it to the 30 minute mark before I turned it off.
 
General Specific

General Specific

Manos: The Hands of Fate (with no help from MST3k)

Witness! 5-minute tracking shots of empty roadside!

Thrill! To reoccurring characters that have absolutely nothing to do with what is generously called "The Plot"!

Chill! At TORGO!

See! The only cat-fight between lingerie-clad women ever described as "Boring and much too long."

Only with...

MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE!!

 
Emrys

Emrys

Robot Monster. This has all the cheese. Stilted dialogue; hackneyed anti-communism plot; footage of fake dinosaurs; the wonderful meshing of deep-water diver and gorilla to make Ro-Man; and, of course, the Automatic Billion Bubble Machine. I wouldn't be surprised if they got Lawrence Welk on that thing.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

I have a hard time considering Plan 9 from Outer Space, or Manos the Hands of Fate as the worst movies of all time. Or any other truly B-Movie. Films like Ishtar, the Transformers series, etc... that have the talent and budgets to make good films AND stink, should be trashed much harder than some Semi-pro's efforts.
 
strawman

strawman

So worseness can only be measured relative to what it *could* have been?

Wow. I thought it would be hard coming to agreement with this simple arrangement, but if you add another subjective factor in, we'll never get anywhere!
 
P

Philosopher B.

It's like if you were not only paid 8 mill to drop a deuce, but instead of turning out a firm, normal-smelling nugget ... you had diarrhea. The things a talented writer/director could do with half that money ...

*twitches*
Added at: 19:47
Look what can be done with $5 million:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_(film)
 
P

Philosopher B.

Also, while I have not seen Robot Monster, it cannot possibly be as lame nor morally repugnant as the indie horror flick Doghouse. It is the most misogynistic and fucktastic piece of cinematic ass-gravy I have had the misfortune to sniff in quite some time. Its basic premise is that, deep down, women are all man-hating cannibals and that the military-released virus within the film only shows them for what they truly are.

I actually feel really bad for not turning it off half-way through, but I've only ever done that with one movie ever. Ugh. I can't believe someone would fucking sit down and write a thing like that.
 
Gryfter

Gryfter

sixpackshaker said:
I have a hard time considering Plan 9 from Outer Space, or Manos the Hands of Fate as the worst movies of all time. Or any other truly B-Movie. Films like Ishtar, the Transformers series, etc... that have the talent and budgets to make good films AND stink, should be trashed much harder than some Semi-pro's efforts.
Click to expand...
Ok, fine then.... The Last Airbender or for that matter any movie based on awesome source material that fails utterly.
 
sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Gryfter said:
Ok, fine then.... The Last Airbender or for that matter any movie based on awesome source material that fails utterly.
Click to expand...
Yes, they had the intention, the source material, and budget to make a passable film. And they stunk. Picking on Plan 9 is like the arseholes that push down developmentally challenged kids.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Once again I gotta break out "A Polish Vampire in Burbank." Had all the plot of an 80s porn movie (with no porn), the production value of my folks' home movies and... just... ugh. I tried watching it several times, couldn't ever last more than 20-30 mins a sitting.

Trailer
 
jwhouk

jwhouk

Nothing But Trouble. So bad that it essentially put an end to the "all-star lineup" type of movie. And it had no freakin' plot.
 
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