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Online Dating, or How I Learned to Continue Worrying and Be Single

Jan 30, 2014#1

Chad Sexington

As requested, and promised. I probably will only share one story and then others when I'm not, you know, at work.

I had been on a dating site for a while when a girl messaged me - which was a first - and seemed interesting, pretty, and able to put together full sentences, which is a plus.

We chatted a few days, back and forth on the site's messaging system, which is user-unfriendly and I hate it, so I offered my email address and phone number as alternatives. She said she preferred to not disclose that information yet. Understandable, I was new at this myself, you don't know who people really are, etc, etc. So for what was a long week, we messaged each other about once or twice a day. Finally, we exchanged numbers, and I called and suggested a coffee.

No, too soon, she said, and another week went by of calling or texting; she was a frequent texter. I asked again if she'd like to grab a coffee. This time she suggested dinner, as coffee was a 'cop-out' date. Okay! Dinner it is. I was glad to finally be meeting her in person. She shot down a few restaurant suggestions and chose a chain that I don't really like, but whatever, it's one date, date one, let's just do this already.

Dinner is the usual first-date awkwardness. We have a good time and a closed-mouth light kiss at the end of our evening. I get a goodnight text message later that night at home.

The next day at work, my phone blinks with a text message that reads,
"Mm, it was really nice to meet you. I can't wait to be daddy's good little whore tonight."

What?

What?

Jan 30, 2014#2

Tinwhistler

clearly you are moving too fast for her.

Jan 30, 2014#3

Cajungal

...so that night went well, or?...

Jan 30, 2014#4

ThatNickGuy

And...you responded how? C'mon man, you can't leave us hanging like that!

Jan 30, 2014#5

doomdragon6

Sounds like a keeper.

No online dating, and it sure wasn't a date, but it was a "coffee hangout" I suppose:

Actually--- no I probably shouldn't even tell this story. ... Fine.

I forget how we initially started talking, but it was in a class we shared. I was just being friendly, not at all interested in a date or whatever, but we ended up going to sit together in the student common area. Side note: This girl had some genetic issue where one of her arms was not fully formed properly. She herself was perfectly fun and whatever, but this sets up the terrible parts.

So we're sitting and chatting, but it definitely has this "first date" awkwardness that I typically never had when just chatting with girls. She asked a lot of questions and, since I wasn't, you know, interested in her really, she picked up that I wasn't trying to be "cool guy", so she was just like, "So, is this how you normally talk with girls?" so I just played it goofy, like, "I don't know, this is my first time!" Which -I- thought was funny but she didn't really.

Awkwardness levels rise. Abort.jpg

We chat a little more, she asks my interests, I say video games, and she tells me she never really got into videogames. Without thinking, I just immediately said, "Aw, why not?" before realizing she could not physically hold a game controller or even use a keyboard setup.

Me: :|
Her: I don't know. I just never got into them, I guess.
Me: :| ..............
Her: ...
Me: :| I think I need to go study for my test tomorrow.
Her: Yeah.

Not technically a date, but easily the WORST SIT-DOWN WITH A GIRL I'VE EVER HAD

Jan 30, 2014#6

Ravenpoe

doomdragon6 said:
Sounds like a keeper.

No online dating, and it sure wasn't a date, but it was a "coffee hangout" I suppose:

Actually--- no I probably shouldn't even tell this story. ... Fine.

I forget how we initially started talking, but it was in a class we shared. I was just being friendly, not at all interested in a date or whatever, but we ended up going to sit together in the student common area. Side note: This girl had some genetic issue where one of her arms was not fully formed properly. She herself was perfectly fun and whatever, but this sets up the terrible parts.

So we're sitting and chatting, but it definitely has this "first date" awkwardness that I typically never had when just chatting with girls. She asked a lot of questions and, since I wasn't, you know, interested in her really, she picked up that I wasn't trying to be "cool guy", so she was just like, "So, is this how you normally talk with girls?" so I just played it goofy, like, "I don't know, this is my first time!" Which -I- thought was funny but she didn't really.

Awkwardness levels rise. Abort.jpg

We chat a little more, she asks my interests, I say video games, and she tells me she never really got into videogames. Without thinking, I just immediately said, "Aw, why not?" before realizing she could not physically hold a game controller or even use a keyboard setup.

Me: :|
Her: I don't know. I just never got into them, I guess.
Me: :| ..............
Her: ...
Me: :| I think I need to go study for my test tomorrow.
Her: Yeah.

Not technically a date, but easily the WORST SIT-DOWN WITH A GIRL I'VE EVER HAD

Just going to point out that a friend of mine is an avid gamer, and she only has one hand. They make lots of special controllers to accommodate all sorts of disabilities.

Jan 30, 2014#7

Shawn

Well... it's certainly better than the time a girl I was getting to know via email and text accused me of being a nazi sympathizer because I enjoyed Inglorious Basterds.

Craft your reply to this girl carefully.

Jan 30, 2014#8

Chad Sexington

Shawnacy said:
Well... it's certainly better than the time a girl I was getting to know via email and text accused me of being a nazi sympathizer because I enjoyed Inglorious Basterds.

Craft your reply to this girl carefully.

This was a long time ago. Long over.

ThatNickGuy said:
And...you responded how? C'mon man, you can't leave us hanging like that!

Right, right

Tinwhistler said:
clearly you are moving too fast for her.

Right?

Cajungal said:
...so that night went well, or?...

Nope.

So, brief TMI:

I really enjoy sexting, especially at work

Anyway, I do not have any 'daddy's girl' fantasy/fetish, and 'little girl' doesn't make me think of anything other than a... little girl, so I was not exactly turned on. I sent something back like, "For someone so standoffish, you really jumped ahead a few pages here." and her response that she "just wanted to please me," made me suggest we were not a fit.

ICING ON THE CAKE:
This was like... two... two and a half years into a dry spell.... I totally could've at least gotten laid, but didn't.

Jan 30, 2014#9

GasBandit

I've never been part of an online dating website, (though if you count Everquest as a venue, it was how I met the love of my life), but there was this one time that was pretty awkward in RL. I'd moved away to go to college you see, but one summer later (age 19) I had returned home over the school break and got talked into going to a club with some friends. So, cool, whatever, I go... and there's this girl there who I went to high school with.

She liked me back in high school, and I tried to be nice but never responded in kind to the flirting because frankly I could barely stand her... well, she was at the club that night. Fortunately I wasn't with my friends when she spotted me and came over to talk... and then lame ass me gets the bright idea to pretend I'm somebody else. She says "Hey!" and I say "Hello!...?" "Amanda!" "Hi! Amanda! I'm sorry, have we met?" "Of course we have, (My real name)! We were in class together!" "I'm sorry, I think you have me confused with somebody else, my name is Jared." *note, Jared is not my real name, obviously. "Oh, really?! You look just like my friend (My real name)!" "Wow, crazy!"

And we kind of drift apart after that. I go find my friends and convince them I need to leave right now. Because I'm 50/50 she saw through me right from the start and so I'm both a bonehead AND a douchebag, but if she sees me with them she'll definitely put 2 and 2 together. So we leave. Fortunately I haven't run into her since (my clubbing days came to an end pretty quickly after that, and I didn't go home as often any more, and never went "out" when I did)... but that is one of the more moderate awkward bonehead things I've done on the "dating scene."

*ohgodwhy.jpg*

Jan 30, 2014#10

GasBandit

And coincidentally, World Wide Interweb, one of my favorite content generators, just put out a photo gallery called "Dating is Tough."

Jan 30, 2014#11

Frank

GasBandit said:
I've never been part of an online dating website, (though if you count Everquest as a venue, it was how I met the love of my life), but there was this one time that was pretty awkward in RL. I'd moved away to go to college you see, but one summer later (age 19) I had returned home over the school break and got talked into going to a club with some friends. So, cool, whatever, I go... and there's this girl there who I went to high school with.

She liked me back in high school, and I tried to be nice but never responded in kind to the flirting because frankly I could barely stand her... well, she was at the club that night. Fortunately I wasn't with my friends when she spotted me and came over to talk... and then lame ass me gets the bright idea to pretend I'm somebody else. She says "Hey!" and I say "Hello!...?" "Amanda!" "Hi! Amanda! I'm sorry, have we met?" "Of course we have, (My real name)! We were in class together!" "I'm sorry, I think you have me confused with somebody else, my name is Jared." *note, Jared is not my real name, obviously. "Oh, really?! You look just like my friend (My real name)!" "Wow, crazy!"

And we kind of drift apart after that. I go find my friends and convince them I need to leave right now. Because I'm 50/50 she saw through me right from the start and so I'm both a bonehead AND a douchebag, but if she sees me with them she'll definitely put 2 and 2 together. So we leave. Fortunately I haven't run into her since (my clubbing days came to an end pretty quickly after that, and I didn't go home as often any more, and never went "out" when I did)... but that is one of the more moderate awkward bonehead things I've done on the "dating scene."

*ohgodwhy.jpg*

Ugh, I used to do the random accent thing during college as a joke when I'd go to the bar with friends and my English and Irish accents are generally good enough to sucker someone who isn't English or Irish. Trying to keep it up throughout a night, especially if I met someone who I actually liked quickly taught me what a fucking moron I was for thinking it was a good idea.

Jan 30, 2014#12

Tinwhistler

Frank said:
Ugh, I used to do the random accent thing during college as a joke when I'd go to the bar with friends and my English and Irish accents are generally good enough to sucker someone who isn't English or Irish. Trying to keep it up throughout a night, especially if I met someone who I actually liked quickly taught me what a fucking moron I was for thinking it was a good idea.

When I worked at the Texas Renaissance Festival, I would keep my scottish accent on for 12 weeks, thru rehearsals and thru the entire run of the fair. I'd keep it on backstage, at home, and everywhere I went, 24/7, so as not to lose it in the middle of a show.

At the end of the fair, there's a tradition where everyone who works there goes to a restaurant up the road called Hickory Hollow at the end of the last show. So, I'm at Hickory Hollow, cracking jokes, and generally cutting up like we all do, when I realize "hey, the festival is over. I can drop this accent." So I do, right in the middle of a sentence.

"Nooooooooooo!" came this wail from across the room. I glance over and see a smoking hot blonde chick I had never seen or worked with before, looking at me like I'd just kicked a puppy. "I thought you were really Scottish!"

Blew my chances before I ever even had a chance to meet the girl

Jan 30, 2014#13

Hailey Knight

I'm struggling to remember the details for this story, so bear with me.

I was messaging pretty haphazardly with girls on OKCupid during my early sophomore year at college. Well, one of them took a liking to me quick, which at first I thought was nice--I had been broken up with my ex for a few months and thought I might be ready to date someone else. We swapped phone numbers the day we started talking (yeah, oops). It started innocently with "where do you live", "what are you going to school for", etc. Then ...

Her: "Did you ever want to run a restaurant?"
Me, a lit major: "It's not exactly what I'm going to school for."
Her: "You don't want to? My dad's not going to like that."
Me: "What?"
Her: "Well, whatever. You can change that. My dad owns three restaurants in Michigan and he's going to want his son-in-law to manage one of them."
Me: "..."
Her: "Answer me. This isn't what our marriage is going to be like."
Me: "!!!"
Her: "You have to answer me."
Me: "..."
Her: "So I guess you don't want to talk to me anymore?"
Me: "Nope."

:confused:

Another experience had a girl desperate for me to say I loved her on the first time we chatted over AIM. Another girl was desperately looking for a fiance as she had just been stood up at the altar a month earlier.

Jan 30, 2014#14

Tress

This was not online, but it was the stupidest moment I've had on a date:

Her: "So, you're a teacher, huh? I've never gone out with someone that smart."
Me: *nervous laugh* (because...wtf?)
Her: "I bet you could name all the states, couldn't you?"
Me: "Yeah. I always wanted to memorize all the countries in the world, but Africa always trips me up."
Her: "What's so hard about it? It's just Africa."
Me: (assuming she misheard me) "Oh, no, not the continents, I meant all the countries."
Her: "Yeah. It's just Africa. What's so hard?"
Me: "It's... there's, like, over 40 countries in Africa! It's hard to memorize them?"
Her: "I didn't know. I always thought it was just one."
Me: (Holy shit) "Ah... yeah. Soooooo..."

______________________________
And then ended that date as soon as I could.

Her: "Where should we go next?"
Me: "I'm tired. Going to call it a night. Bye."

Jan 30, 2014#15

Gusto

Tress said:
This was not online, but it was the stupidest moment I've had on a date:

Her: "So, you're a teacher, huh? I've never gone out with someone that smart."
Me: *nervous laugh* (because...wtf?)
Her: "I bet you could name all the states, couldn't you?"
Me: "Yeah. I always wanted to memorize all the countries in the world, but Africa always trips me up."
Her: "What's so hard about it? It's just Africa."
Me: (assuming she misheard me) "Oh, no, not the continents, I meant all the countries."
Her: "Yeah. It's just Africa. What's so hard?"
Me: "It's... there's, like, over 40 countries in Africa! It's hard to memorize them?"
Her: "I didn't know. I always thought it was just one."
Me: (Holy shit) "Ah... yeah. Soooooo..."

______________________________
And then ended that date as soon as I could.

Her: "Where should we go next?"
Me: "I'm tired. Going to call it a night. Bye."

Just memorize this:

Jan 30, 2014#16

Gilgamesh

Um, I hate to be brutally negative but maybe she meant that text for someonelse?

Jan 30, 2014#17

ThatNickGuy

Gilgamesh said:
Um, I hate to be brutally negative but maybe she meant that text for someonelse?

That was my first thought, but then he told us what happened after. That was meant for him.

Jan 30, 2014#18

Ravenpoe

ThatNickGuy said:
That was my first thought, but then he told us what happened after. That was meant for him.

Which means she'd been bad, and we know what he should have done.

Jan 31, 2014#19

GasBandit

Jan 31, 2014#20

Ravenpoe

GasBandit said:

...

I can fap to this.

Jan 31, 2014#21

LordRendar

A girl i went on a date with kept saying "LOL" instead of laughing.

Jan 31, 2014#22

Celt Z

So, back in the day, I had just broken up with one of my boyfriends. It was fairly serious; we were living together. But during living together, I realized there were things about him that I could over-look when we were dating but couldn't be married to. One of them was he never liked to leave his apartment unless absolutely necessary. He preferred to just hole up in there, and occasionally have his two friends over to game(video and RPG) on the weekends. This would have been less frustrating if it weren't for the fact we lived in the middle of Manhattan!

I agree to a date with this guy who's been hitting on me for the last month and 1/2 of my previous relationship. He used to insist he was the catalyst for our break-up. I had to remind him we were already over before he came along, he just had really good timing. He also knew my frustrations with my ex, so where does he take me for our first date?

To his best friend's parent's house. To hang out in the basement with a group of his friends. Playing tabletop D&D.

...well, the joke's on me, because I eventually married him.

Jan 31, 2014#23

Emrys

LordRendar said:
A girl i went on a date with kept saying "LOL" instead of laughing.

Kept saying?

Oh dear gods.

Jan 31, 2014#24

Dave

I've been married too long. I don't even remember what dating was like.

Jan 31, 2014#25

Cajungal

Dave said:
I've been married too long. I don't even remember what dating was like.

Jake and I laugh about how terrible we'd be at dating now. I'm way too blunt, which makes me hate flirting and all the little unspoken rules of social interaction, especially with new people.

Jan 31, 2014#26

Dei

Cajungal said:
Jake and I laugh about how terrible we'd be at dating now. I'm way too blunt, which makes me hate flirting and all the little unspoken rules of social interaction, especially with new people.

I feel like if I had not met my husband before leaving college, I would have 10 cats and be living with my parents because I am terrible at social interaction.

Jan 31, 2014#27

Emrys

This is why I'm the Crazy Ferret Lady, aka "Yes, Mistress".

Jan 31, 2014#28

LittleKagsin

Do guys really do the accent thing? Because man, that would get me hook, line and sinker! If it was a Scottish or Irish accent (those two are THE BEST), I would be instantly weak-kneed.

Jan 31, 2014#29

strawman

LittleKagsin said:
Do guys really do the accent thing? Because man, that would get me hook, line and sinker! If it was a Scottish or Irish accent (those two are THE BEST), I would be instantly weak-kneed.

Does Nate know? I think someone should tell him.

Jan 31, 2014#30

Dave

LittleKagsin said:
Do guys really do the accent thing? Because man, that would get me hook, line and sinker! If it was a Scottish or Irish accent (those two are THE BEST), I would be instantly weak-kneed.

Until you found out they were faking it.

I had a couple of friends who would do this and say they were Australian. Dumbasses.

Jan 31, 2014#31

LittleKagsin

stienman said:
Does Nate know? I think someone should tell him.

Oh he's aware.

Dave said:
Until you found out they were faking it.

I had a couple of friends who would do this and say they were Australian. Dumbasses.

I may just be weird, but...I wouldn't be necessarily put off by that. I would think it's a fun party trick. And just general conversation starter.

Maybe how the guy presented it would put me off? But imagining it, I would probably be so excitable about the whole situation and I wouldn't be mad that it was faked.

Jan 31, 2014#32

Dave

These guys were trying to get one night stands by saying that they were spending their last nights in America. The problem was, they did the same thing every weekend at the same bar! So if the girl went more than once...

As I said: Dumbasses.

Jan 31, 2014#33

GasBandit

My girl was a sucker for Texas accents. Whenever I wanted to make her silly and giggly, I'd just ratchet up what ah natchrally hayad.

Jan 31, 2014#34

strawman

I think that one of these days I need to arrange things so I can tell my wife I'm staying late at work, then change my outfit completely, adopt an accent (and slightly different personality), and show up at home, stealing her away for a "first date", getting her home and leaving just in time for me to text her that I'm finally leaving work, change, and come home as myself acting as though nothing had happened (other than a long day at work). Of course she would know, and I would know, but it might be a fun surprise for her, and an interesting date anyway.

Jan 31, 2014#35

LittleKagsin

Dave said:
These guys were trying to get one night stands by saying that they were spending their last nights in America. The problem was, they did the same thing every weekend at the same bar! So if the girl went more than once...

As I said: Dumbasses.

That's a bummer.

Guys should use their accent abilities for the side of good! Not evil!

Jan 31, 2014#36

Dave

stienman said:
I think that one of these days I need to arrange things so I can tell my wife I'm staying late at work, then change my outfit completely, adopt an accent (and slightly different personality), and show up at home, stealing her away for a "first date", getting her home and leaving just in time for me to text her that I'm finally leaving work, change, and come home as myself acting as though nothing had happened (other than a long day at work). Of course she would know, and I would know, but it might be a fun surprise for her, and an interesting date anyway.

I think my wife would be all, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Jan 31, 2014#37

sixpackshaker

I was dating a girl that was working her way through college working at a day care center. Her roommate HATED kids. We started joking about what her roommate would say if she were working at the day care center.

Her: "Go play in the street."
Me: "Here, play with these matches."
Her: "Yes, you can eat that paste."
Me: "Here, take these scissors and take them to Grandma, and HURRY!"
Her: ...
Me: ...
Her: "Did I ever tell you how I lost my eye?"

Jan 31, 2014#38

Piotyr

My online dating experience is pretty far off the norm, I'd say. Spent one day in a social chat room looking to meet women, and the first one that chatted me up in personal IM worked out so well we got married three years later.

Jan 31, 2014#39

Dave

Piotyr said:
My online dating experience is pretty far off the norm, I'd say. Spent one day in a social chat room looking to meet women, and the first one that chatted me up in personal IM worked out so well we got married three years later.

You chose...wisely.

Jan 31, 2014#40

Cajungal

I have never done online dating, but a friend of mine met some weird girls that way.

One of them would bring her mother with her when she visited him in the hospital (he has ulcerative colitis and went through a bad time a few years back, but he's better now). But yeah, she would sit in the corner knitting while they talked. One time Jake and I were there, and we invited them to come to an out of town standup show with us. The mom chimes in, "I don't know if she should be going there...we'll have to see."

Another girl convinced him to change his major, although that says a lot about him as well, though.

Jan 31, 2014#41

Melody.malca

If u being single no need to be worry,,,! Keep smiling for every single day. Cause god had the other plan for everyone. Belive in destiny and just let the time to answer it!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Jan 31, 2014#42

LittleKagsin

Seems legit.

Jan 31, 2014#43

Officer_Charon

@steinman I like that "first date" idea. I might have to figure out how I can work that one out, sometime.

I never really "dated," per se. I met my first "serious" girlfriend online through a friend, she stayed with me long-distance all through boot camp, until I realized that there just wasn't... anything there. Like she was a check mark on a list of things "to do" (so to speak - she was a good little Christian girl, and I mean that with absolutely no sarcasm, she was a sweetheart), and the giddiness from the initial phase of the relationship wore off to show that I didn't have any feelings to back it up.

So I did the honest thing and told her.

It.... did not go well.

I puttered around for a while after that, met a girl who I thought was pretty cute at Starbucks while I was working at the Mall. We met for coffee a couple times, then she took me back to her place... her parents place.

It went for a while, we did okay together. Then one day she told me that she quit taking her anti-depressant, cold turkey. She had been on Paxil, which in my experience through the department has shown me to have some of the most serious side-effects when one quits taking it.

She went completely around the twist. After I got activated, she broke up with me (on Valentine's Day, right when I thought I was getting geared up for deployment - classy), then tried to extort money and a laptop from my sister, who was living with me at the time. The sister who carries a large pipe wrench for personal protection.

When I was hanging out with a buddy in the Corps, we goofed around with accents at a bar, just playing around, not really going anywhere with it - his was Irish, mine was Scottish. The only one who bit on it was the bartender, who asked where we were from. Glenn said, in his best County Cork accent "He's from Scotland... I'm German." We had a lot of fun together, Glenn and I.

My wife, I met in the Corps. Time with her was about the only time I've "dated," and even that was pretty non-standard. When she got discharged, she didn't really have anywhere to go, so I invited her to live with me. Bear in mind that we'd only been going out for a year at this point, and that was almost entirely long-distance, too.

I wouldn't know what to do with the standard "dinner-and-drinks" date if it was gift-wrapped to me.

Jan 31, 2014#44

Chad Sexington

Gilgamesh said:
Um, I hate to be brutally negative but maybe she meant that text for someonelse?

Ha, not brutally negative. And possible, although her insistence about wanting to please me, and subsequent backpedaling makes me think it was intentional.

LordRendar said:
A girl i went on a date with kept saying "LOL" instead of laughing.

I can't even handle people who say, "That's funny!" instead of laughing. I would have just gotten up and left.

LittleKagsin said:
Do guys really do the accent thing? Because man, that would get me hook, line and sinker! If it was a Scottish or Irish accent (those two are THE BEST), I would be instantly weak-kneed.

I do a decent Irish accent, and a friend once bet me $50 I couldn't keep it up all night. Girls were dragging me to other girls announcing, "HE'S FROM IRELAND! LISTEN TO HIM TALK!"

Were it not for the incredible amount of Guinness I had consumed making me essentially a puddle, I probably could have sealed the deal, so to speak. The painful hangover in the morning, and inevitable forgetting to continue the accent would have made breakfast pretty awkward though.

Melody.malca said:
If u being single no need to be worry,,,! Keep smiling for every single day. Cause god had the other plan for everyone. Belive in destiny and just let the time to answer it!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks, tips.

LittleKagsin said:
Seems legit.

Definitely.

Officer_Charon said:
...completely around the twist.

I'm going to start using that expression.

Jan 31, 2014#45

LittleKagsin

Chad Sexington said:
I do a decent Irish accent, and a friend once bet me $50 I couldn't keep it up all night. Girls were dragging me to other girls announcing, "HE'S FROM IRELAND! LISTEN TO HIM TALK!"

Were it not for the incredible amount of Guinness I had consumed making me essentially a puddle, I probably could have sealed the deal, so to speak. The painful hangover in the morning, and inevitable forgetting to continue the accent would have made breakfast pretty awkward though.

Do you now? :unibrow:

Maybe where I differ in the accent debate is that no matter how good the accent, I would never just hop into bed with a guy. So, I would be safe from the humiliation of the next morning encounter. I would probably flirt so hard though. Oh, so hard.

But, I mean, this is all in a fake scenario because I'm married. I'm just saying, accents do it for me. They really do it for me.

Jan 31, 2014#46

Ravenpoe

I spent several years in speech classes as a kid, ensuring now that I have a perfectly neutral accent.

Thanks, Obama.

Jan 31, 2014#47

WasabiPoptart

LittleKagsin said:
I'm just saying, accents do it for me. They really do it for me.

My husband speaks Spanish, not fluently but enough that he could hold a conversation with his Mexican grandmother without accidentally insulting her, and when he says things to me in Spanish it turns me into a giggling mess.

Jan 31, 2014#48

Piotyr

I can speak with a Dutch accent. It's close to German, such that it's not particularly romantic, merely intimidating to some.

Jan 31, 2014#49

LittleKagsin

Piotyr said:
I can speak with a Dutch accent. It's close to German, such that it's not particularly romantic, merely intimidating to some.

You might be surprised, I know a girl who is really attracted to German accents!

I'm not saying that Dutch and German are the same, I'm just saying...there are all kinds out in this world. =^^=

Jan 31, 2014#50

Dave

Oh ja?

Jan 31, 2014#51

Chad Sexington

Girls with German accents... Yeah, that does it for me.[DOUBLEPOST=1391191574,1391191493][/DOUBLEPOST]

LittleKagsin said:
Do you now?

Maybe where I differ in the accent debate is that no matter how good the accent, I would never just hop into bed with a guy.

What?! Standards?!

Jan 31, 2014#52

Just Me

Well, it seems I can do a pretty believable scottish accent even if I don't try, decent enough for irish people at last. When I was there the last time I got asked twice by the B&B people (different ones) from what part of scotland I came.

I'm still german, hah.

Later I found out that my local dialect rolls the letter 'r' the same way the scots do.

Jan 31, 2014#53

Fun Size

I did not believe that accents had any effect on me at all until one of the girls working in Norway started flirting with me while my wife was using a restroom.

Yikes.

Jan 31, 2014#54

LittleKagsin

Chad Sexington said:
Girls with German accents... Yeah, that does it for me.[DOUBLEPOST=1391191574,1391191493][/DOUBLEPOST]
What?! Standards?!

I know right? What's up with that?? How dare I!

Jan 31, 2014#55

Emrys

Chad Sexington said:
Girls with German accents... Yeah, that does it for me.[DOUBLEPOST=1391191574,1391191493][/DOUBLEPOST]
What?! Standards?!

I know. Women these days.[DOUBLEPOST=1391193187][/DOUBLEPOST]

Chad Sexington said:
I do a decent Irish accent,...

Let's hear it, darling.

Jan 31, 2014#56

blotsfan

Ravenpoe said:
I spent several years in speech classes as a kid, ensuring now that I have a perfectly neutral accent.

Thanks, Obama.

Jan 31, 2014#57

Celt Z

I once went on a date with a guy from France (yes, he actually was French, not like Dave's friends). It was during my college "hey, I'll try almost anything once!" phase.

No amount of accent saved that date. Dude was creepy/weird.

Jan 31, 2014#58

Piotyr

Celt Z said:
I once went on a date with a guy from France (yes, he actually was French, not like Dave's friends). It was during my college "hey, I'll try almost anything once!" phase.

No amount of accent saved that date. Dude was creepy/weird.

You already said French.

Jan 31, 2014#59

Officer_Charon

Piotyr beat me to it, and this is coming from someone who used to live there. *grins*

Jan 31, 2014#60

Celt Z

This should have been my first clue

Jan 31, 2014#61

AshburnerX

Because I grew up in a certain region of Ohio, I have an almost perfectly neutral accent... which somehow drives foreign girls crazy. Apparently they think I sound amazing because I sound like how "Americans" sound in Hollywood movies and TV. It works especially well on English women for some reason.

This hasn't lead to any fun dates mind you. They just like to listen to me talk. :foreveralone:

Jan 31, 2014#62

GasBandit

AshburnerX said:
Because I grew up in a certain region of Ohio, I have an almost perfectly neutral accent... which somehow drives foreign girls crazy. Apparently they think I sound amazing because I sound like how "Americans" sound in Hollywood movies and TV. It works especially well on English women for some reason.

This hasn't lead to any fun dates mind you. They just like to listen to me talk.

Sometimes on Tuesday or by a couch?

Did you try drawing them a picture of a horse?

Jan 31, 2014#63

AshburnerX

GasBandit said:
Sometimes on Tuesday or by a couch?

Did you try drawing them a picture of a horse?

That... pretty much describes my high school dating scene.

Jan 31, 2014#64

Bowielee

Celt Z said:
This should have been my first clue

Go away, or I shall ask you inappropriate sexual questions a second time!

Jan 31, 2014#65

Celt Z

Bowielee said:
Go away, or I shall ask you inappropriate sexual questions a second time!

I was laughing until I remembered that part is true. :cry:

Jan 31, 2014#66

Bowielee

Celt Z said:
I was laughing until I remembered that part is true.

To borrow what someone already said. You already said French.

Jan 31, 2014#67

WasabiPoptart

I dated a guy who had some real control issues. We had been dating for a month or so, but it wasn't exactly serious. I got my belly button pierced (shush...it was 1995) and he did not approve. While we were arguing about me doing whatever I want with my body he told me that he hoped it got infected and rotted through to my back. Needless to say the relationship ended shortly afterward.

Jan 31, 2014#68

Cajungal

What an asshole.

Jan 31, 2014#69

Jay

Chad Sexington said:
The next day at work, my phone blinks with a text message that reads, "Mm, it was really nice to meet you. I can't wait to be daddy's good little whore tonight."

What?

What?

My man.

[DOUBLEPOST=1391226107,1391225562][/DOUBLEPOST]

Chad Sexington said:
This was a long time ago. Long over.

ICING ON THE CAKE:
This was like... two... two and a half years into a dry spell.... I totally could've at least gotten laid, but didn't.

Jan 31, 2014#70

Jay

A few date stories from my single time (mostly 17 to 22)

- Met this pretty girl on the bus. We chatted a bit. I was passing the time. Her stop comes up and she asked me for my number. Nice! I give it. She calls me the same night. We talk for a day or two. Hit it off pretty nicely. Go for coffee at Tim's. She's there and I'm there. We chat for like 2 hours. We're having fun. I'm digging her. She pulls one of the free newspapers and turns to the astrology section. She freaks out for a moment reading her sign and says with huge green eyes, "Jason, what sign are you? I can't believe I haven't asked you that!" She then informs me how she was really into astrology. I immediately thought to myself..."Ho boy, here we go". Then I find our this 19 year old apparently has only dated Scorpios and since I was a Gemini she was iffy to continue the date. The whole two face thing. I smile at the jokes. It isn't. She then takes her purse and leaves. I sit there shocked. She never called me back. Th

- Met this girl online. Chatting for a bit and became friends to some degree. I met someone else. She remains a friend. A few months later I'm single. She and I are chatting. She says we should go out on a date. I agree. I lived in the East Island back then, she lived in the West. We decided to hit a resto in the Plateau Mont-Royal, halfway into the center of the city. Nice place, great restos but parking is bullshit. I'm trying to find a place to park for 20 minutes. It's winter and snow banks make it hell. Finally find it. I prepare to parallel park and someone in a tiny care stole my parking spot. I'm pissed but life sucks sometimes. I texted her I was going to be late as someone stole a parking spot I just found and just as I sent the text my phone receives one from her stating she stole some schmuck's spot but that "he probably deserved it." That was an awkward start to a date. After meeting her in real life, I realized she was a shitty person anyway. Who does that to a stranger though? Talk about rude. I banged her though. She was pretty hot.

- Met this girl online, worked hard to get her to answer me, chat with me. Honestly, took 2 solid weeks to get her to come out with me. As far as I felt, we were a match. We're flirting, we're chatting about life, past, present future. All is well. She was also beautiful and totally my type. Brunette with hazel eyes. Jay Kryptonite. Hobbies. All that. She was intelligent and had a very well-written profile. We talk on the phone a lot, we exchange pics all the time. No problem. We decide to go do some shopping at a mall then hit a park for a picnic. It was a nice summer day. She shows up. At least 7 months pregnant. Big belly. My eyes go huge and my jaw drops. Talk about awkward. I felt like a baby daddy at 20. We sit down and chat a bit "Soooo you're, uh... yeah, you're pregnant. What's up with that Erica?"

She apologized and looked teary-eyed, said that that father was a loser, her family didn't know him, she hasn't been out in forever yet alone on a date. I felt bad and we proceeded with the date. I just felt sorry and I'd like to believe that I had done a good deed. No way in hell was I happy though, she lied to me and barely spoke to her afterwards. Apparently she was giving it up for adoption (although later I found out she kept it). Needless to say, it was probably the most awkward date I've ever been on.

But wait there's more... but there's a toll to pay...

Jan 31, 2014#71

Bubble181

Nickle-and-diming us to death, not just Mobile games anymore.

Jan 31, 2014#72

Bowielee

I'm personally looking forward to the Jay Inadvertantly Dates A Serial Killer DLC.

Jan 31, 2014#73

strawman

Bowielee said:
I'm personally looking forward to the Jay Inadvertantly Dates A Serial Killer DLC.

I'd brofist that!

Feb 1, 2014#74

David

I have no exciting online dating stories. I used to have a PlentyOfFish account, a couple of girls messaged me back and forth but it never went anywhere with any of them.

I did date a "I'm going to hurt myself" crazy girl a couple of years ago. I don't remember how much I posted about here. She was very needy and manipulative, the kind that would turn it around and be angry at me so I'd end up apologizing if I called her out on something she was doing. Within a week we broke up, she was saying something about how weird it was we got together so quickly after meeting and the way she said it made me ask "are you feeling like that was a mistake?" I didn't think there was anything wrong with this in the context but she flipped out at the question and broke up with me via instant messenger when I got home that night, I felt sad for a day but then was like, whatever, we were only together a week, and was ready move on. A few days later she calls me saying that she made a huge mistake and how sorry she is for breaking up with me, and being stupid I agree to give it another chance.

The next week was more of the same. She's needy, demands I skype with her pretty much every waking moment while she's out of town, flips out at me over minor things that aren't meant to be insulting. I tell her after a week that I'm not feeling it and we're not a good match for each other, and she stops talking to me for a couple days. She later sends me a message demanding to know why I "lead her on" (I never told her I felt anything that I didn't, we're two adults who mutually agreed to rush into something together knowing it might not to work out, so I feel pretty offended that she's accusing me of leading her on) and she tells me she's kicking me out of her life, blocking me on facebook, removing me from her phone and messenger contacts and I'm to never contact her again. I'm fine with this.

She messages me again less than 24 hours later acting like nothing happened. We end up hanging out one more time with the mutual friends we met each other through. I try to remain neutral. On the ride back home we're in the back of the car and she keeps rubbing up against me. I probably should have pushed her away but I just sit there and let her without giving anything back. She messages me on facebook how depressed she is that I left her and she's staying with a friend to make sure she doesn't hurt herself and she wishes I felt the way about her that she felt about me. I respond "Sorry" or "I don't know how to respond to that" to most of these. She calls me every night when I get out of class. I begin dreading the sound of my phone ring and I begin leaving it turned off. One night she tells me she's moving to another state to "get away from it all" (keep in mind I'm just some guy she dated off and on for 2 weeks, not a long term relationship she had a huge life plans changing fallout with). I agree I'll hang out with her one last day before she leaves. The night before the day we agreed to hang outre hang out she texts me "Did you just forget about me today??" Apparently she had the days confused, waiting for me on the wrong day and instead of trying to call me to check what's up or that she had the day right she immediately jumps to the conclusion that I'm the one in the wrong and purposely blowing her off. She tells me the next day actually doesn't work for her and we'll have to figure something else out before she leaves. By this point I decided I was completely and fully done putting up with her and I never responded. She texted me a few times more with progressively whiny "Why are you ignoring me?" messages until she stops trying. She tried talking to me again on a messenger 6 months later. If it had been a simple "Hey, how have you been?" I might have started talking to her again, but instead it was a passive aggressive "Thanks for never texting me back." So I immediately blocked her.

I learned a lot from that relationship about what I'm not willing to put up with.

Feb 1, 2014#75

Chad Sexington

@David I dated a girl like that... for... years.

Excellent life decisions.

Another online dating weirdness, this one quite short:

I chatted with a cute girl, exchanged numbers quickly and we talked on the phone once and texted for about a week; she was busy with studying for midterms, I think, so I agreed to postpone meeting until those were over. During a text conversation, she asked if I could send her a photo of myself, so she could have an idea of what I looked like. I was confused: there were several photos of me on the dating site. But, okay, what the hell. I take a photo of myself with my phone and text it to her.

I never heard from her again.

Feb 1, 2014#76

doomdragon6

Aww.

Feb 1, 2014#77

Chad Sexington

I actually thought it was weird/funny. I mean, she already knew what I looked like so it can't be like "OH HE'S HIDEOUS"

Feb 1, 2014#78

Bowielee

Chad Sexington said:
I actually thought it was weird/funny. I mean, she already knew what I looked like so it can't be like "OH HE'S HIDEOUS"

Maybe she didn't want pictures of your face...

Feb 1, 2014#79

Ravenpoe

Chad Sexington said:
I actually thought it was weird/funny. I mean, she already knew what I looked like so it can't be like "OH HE'S HIDEOUS"

Or maybe she thought you're out of her league?

Feb 1, 2014#80

WasabiPoptart

Chad Sexington said:
I actually thought it was weird/funny. I mean, she already knew what I looked like so it can't be like "OH HE'S HIDEOUS"

You intimidated her with your manliness and charm.

Feb 1, 2014#81

Adam

Totally not posting ANYTHING to this thread...hooooooboy.

Feb 1, 2014#82

ThatNickGuy

Adam said:
Totally not posting ANYTHING to this thread...hooooooboy.

Oh come on! You of all people would have the best stories! Share! Share, dammit!

Feb 1, 2014#83

Adam

ThatNickGuy said:
Oh come on! You of all people would have the best stories! Share! Share, dammit!

Actually, I've been ridiculously fortunate in my dating efforts. The 'worst date' I've had was where I fell asleep into my pasta because she was so boring.

Feb 1, 2014#84

ThatNickGuy

Adam said:
Actually, I've been ridiculously fortunate in my dating efforts. The 'worst date' I've had was where I fell asleep into my pasta because she was so boring.

So she was the girl you let spaghetti way?

Feb 1, 2014#85

Adam

ThatNickGuy said:
So she was the girl you let spaghetti way?

I could penne tales on how much I miss her.

Feb 1, 2014#86

Ravenpoe

ThatNickGuy said:
So she was the girl you let spaghetti way?

......

..............

You magnificent motherfucker.

Feb 2, 2014#87

doomdragon6

Nope. I love puns and that one was just too painful.

Feb 2, 2014#88

figmentPez

Seriously, I'm wary about trying online dating, at least while I'm still just a student with no job. The top sheet of my dating resume doesn't really look very impressive. I think I'll stick to hoping I meet someone in person for now.

A couple of stories about women and online dating pissed me off though. One was this:
Toronto Woman Uses Online Dating for Free Dinners
In short, this slime set up a dating profile in order to get taken to high end restaurants. She then proceeded to blog about the food, while mocking the men.

Second is this video:

Girl sets up an OKCupid profile, just so she can make that video mocking the responses she got. It wouldn't bug me so much, except for the fact that so many women are applauding her for doing this. Am I wrong that this is really douchebag behavior?

Feb 2, 2014#89

ThatNickGuy

figmentPez said:
Girl sets up an OKCupid profile, just so she can make that video mocking the responses she got. It wouldn't bug me so much, except for the fact that so many women are applauding her for doing this. Am I wrong that this is really douchebag behavior?

To be fair, she's not giving any names away, so that's fine. But honestly? I'm almost 5 minutes into this video, and so far they've found some perfectly fine or safe messages completely hilarious. She thought the guy joking about not wearing a suit since 5th Grade was douchey? What the hell?

She's picking apart these perfectly okay e-mails. Okay, as of this writing, she JUST got a racist asshole, but that's only one so far.

Feb 2, 2014#90

Ravenpoe

figmentPez said:
Seriously, I'm wary about trying online dating, at least while I'm still just a student with no job. The top sheet of my dating resume doesn't really look very impressive. I think I'll stick to hoping I meet someone in person for now.

A couple of stories about women and online dating pissed me off though. One was this:
Toronto Woman Uses Online Dating for Free Dinners
In short, this slime set up a dating profile in order to get taken to high end restaurants. She then proceeded to blog about the food, while mocking the men.

Second is this video:

Girl sets up an OKCupid profile, just so she can make that video mocking the responses she got. It wouldn't bug me so much, except for the fact that so many women are applauding her for doing this. Am I wrong that this is really douchebag behavior?

Oh my god... That pizza looks delicious.

Feb 2, 2014#91

figmentPez

Ravenpoe said:
Oh my god... That pizza looks delicious.

I'll admit, the pizza almost distracted me from my indignation. Then I realized I didn't have the pizza and got angry about that too.

Aug 23, 2022#92

Tinwhistler

thread necro!
I was just telling someone I knew about a recent Tinder experience.

Aug 23, 2022#93

Ravenpoe

Tinwhistler said:
thread necro!
I was just telling someone I knew about a recent Tinder experience.
View attachment 42327

[Rant] - Minor Rant III: For a Few Hollers More

I feel called out. Also yes Oh, you noticed. :) --Patrick

www.halforums.com

Was the someone us?

Aug 23, 2022#94

Tinwhistler

Ravenpoe said:
[Rant] - Minor Rant III: For a Few Hollers More

I feel called out. Also yes Oh, you noticed. :) --Patrick

www.halforums.com

Was the someone us?

lol, I forgot I posted it already. I was going through my phone today and went "hey, I should post that"

Aug 23, 2022#95

Cat

Tinwhistler said:
thread necro!
I was just telling someone I knew about a recent Tinder experience.
View attachment 42327

I expect any new in town profiles to be a mugging waiting to happen

Aug 24, 2022#96

Chad Sexington

Whoa. Did not expect to see a thread I started 8 years ago when I got up today.

Aug 26, 2022#97

doomdragon6

Yeah imagine my surprise opening up what I thought was a new thread and seeing a story I didn't remember telling from 8 years ago.

Anyway, I had game about 4-6 years ago. I don't know where it went but I have zero now.

Aug 26, 2022#98

Dave

doomdragon6 said:
Yeah imagine my surprise opening up what I thought was a new thread and seeing a story I didn't remember telling from 8 years ago.

Anyway, I had game about 4-6 years ago. I don't know where it went but I have zero now.

If I ever got divorced I'd have to stand on a corner with a carboard sign that said, "I will date for food."

Aug 26, 2022#99

Bubble181

Dave said:
If I ever got divorced I'd have to stand on a corner with a carboard sign that said, "I will date for food."

"yeah, this vase looks to be about 2.000 years old, Mesopotamian by the looks of it, I remember as if it's yesterday. This painting? Hmmm, about 16th century, maybe a bit later, I was more interested in girls than paint at the time... Now can I finally have something to eat?"

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