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Not having sex until your wedding night -

Jul 11, 2011#1

Charlie Don't Surf

Pick which poll option most closely resembles your opinion.

Jul 11, 2011#2

Shegokigo

Jul 11, 2011#3

Hailey Knight

What she said.

Jul 11, 2011#4

ThatGrinningIdiot!

Very unlikely I could wait until I was married.

Jul 11, 2011#5

Dave

We shagged like mad monkeys. Or horny monkeys.

I have nothing against people who choose this, but it's not for me.

Jul 11, 2011#6

makare

I was advised by a select parental unit that waiting is a bad idea.

Jul 11, 2011#7

Hailey Knight

makare said:
I was advised by a select parental unit that waiting is a bad idea.

It is a bad idea. It's not something anyone should wanna wait to find out is a problem.

But it's their sex lives to mess up.

Jul 11, 2011#8

ThatNickGuy

I'm not, nor have I ever, been the kinda guy that just wants to jump the bones of every woman I see. I've only actually had sex with four women in my life. Which, at 33 years old, is an incredibly small number in this day and age.

That said, sexual compatibility is still an important factor in deciding whether that person is the one you want to be with the rest of your life. They might have needs you can't fulfill (or don't want to, depending on how kinky they are) or vice versa. There might be something you love doing or having done to you that they can't or won't do. That sort of thing should be sorted out before you slap a ring on their finger.

Jul 11, 2011#9

Cajungal

As Lewis black said: "You are a gambler on a level I have never fucking imagined.". Not for me.

Jul 11, 2011#10

Bones

ThatNickGuy said:
I'm not, nor have I ever, been the kinda guy that just wants to jump the bones of every woman I see. I've only actually had sex with four women in my life.

i am going to get this out of my system, APPARENTLY THE 4TH ONE IS THE CHARM! HA ZING! :hump:

I apologize.....

Jul 11, 2011#11

ThatNickGuy

*confused, yet chooses to click "like"*

Jul 11, 2011#12

Bones

haha incomplete thought
I was remembering the beach photos you or her posted a while back as I was typing, not going to lie, I drooled a little...
:hide:

Jul 11, 2011#13

ThatNickGuy

Damn Bones, I didn't know I had that affect on ya. Wait, hang on... :Leyla:

But that's kind of moot now, anyway. Me and her broke up a few weeks ago. One of those things that just sorta ran its course.. Doesn't need to be thread-derailed over.

Jul 11, 2011#14

Bones

no no, what does is the delicious taste of Andes Mints!

Jul 11, 2011#15

Cajungal

Mmm, Andes mints. Good, but not as good as premarital sex.

Jul 11, 2011#16

makare

bones quit being weird and creepy.

Jul 11, 2011#17

Bones

I do what I can...

Jul 11, 2011#18

Hailey Knight

makare said:
bones quit being weird and creepy.

Agreed. Please.

Jul 11, 2011#19

Bones

hmm maybe the quotemander has a point...
nah....I obviously need to crank the strange up 5 notches

but getting back on topic, anyone that can hold off to marriage has my props. I dont know what is the right choice, but props if you want to hold off.

Jul 11, 2011#20

figmentPez

I'm not a virgin, but in the future I'll be waiting until I get married to have sex.

Jul 11, 2011#21

SpecialKO

How come, "I would like to do this, but I am TOO flexible" is not an option? :unibrow:

Jul 11, 2011#22

Philosopher B.

What if you like married a dude, right, and the night of the wedding you found out he had the world's weirdest-shaped dick. Like, it looked like a rutabaga that someone might compare to a dick, to which other people would reply 'What are you talking about? That rutabaga looks nothing like a dick.' And then it was pants-down time, and, like, voilà ... rutabaga-dick.

I'm just saying, there could be all kinda unforeseen shit.

Jul 11, 2011#23

Gusto

Too late.

Jul 11, 2011#24

Bones

thats something I di not want to envision in my head, and I just saw it! :eek:

Jul 11, 2011#25

makare

Or maybe he has no dick at all and it was all a sham!

Jul 11, 2011#26

SpecialKO

In all seriousness though, I agree with TNG; whether you wait a week, a month, a year, or only halfway through the first date, sexual compatibility is one of those things that must be worked out before you get married, and waiting until after you're married isn't working it out, just postponing it until things are more complicated.

Heck, you can be completely incompatible and still get married (if you really want to), as long as you've worked out how to deal with that incompatibility in the future as you build a relationship together.

Jul 11, 2011#27

strawman

SpecialKO said:
sexual compatibility is one of those things that must be worked out before you get married

Must?

Jul 11, 2011#28

Adammon

ThatNickGuy said:
I'm not, nor have I ever, been the kinda guy that just wants to jump the bones of every woman I see. I've only actually had sex with four women in my life. Which, at 33 years old, is an incredibly small number in this day and age.

That said, sexual compatibility is still an important factor in deciding whether that person is the one you want to be with the rest of your life. They might have needs you can't fulfill (or don't want to, depending on how kinky they are) or vice versa. There might be something you love doing or having done to you that they can't or won't do. That sort of thing should be sorted out before you slap a ring on their finger.

The median number of lifetime female sexual partners for men was seven; the median number of male partners for women was four.

Which means men are fucking liars. 4 is just fine at 33.

Jul 11, 2011#29

Cajungal

Rutabaga? At least you wouldn't have to complain about a lack of girth.

Really though. *shudder*

Jul 11, 2011#30

Philosopher B.

Added at: 04:27
:-o

Jul 11, 2011#31

Cheesy1

Jul 11, 2011#32

SpecialKO

stienman said:
Must?

Yes, "must", whether that means humping like rabbits and making comparative notes, or talking openly and frankly about what the two of you like doing. If you do the latter, and still choose to wait, then I think that's different then just saying, "we'll wait till we're married".

You could also use the Clinton definition and just not tell anyone. :whistling:

Jul 11, 2011#33

Cajungal

This reminds me... I'm out of cucumbers.

Jul 11, 2011#34

LittleSin

Congrats,CG. You probably just caused every mans brain to lock up.

Jul 11, 2011#35

ThatNickGuy

Cajungal said:
This reminds me... I'm out of cucumbers.

Jul 11, 2011#36

LittleSin

See?!

Jul 11, 2011#37

SpecialKO

Your grocery trips must be Things. Of. LEGEND.

Jul 11, 2011#38

Philosopher B.

Fun fact: you can't spell cucumbers without ... yeah.

Jul 11, 2011#39

Cajungal

LittleSin said:
Congrats,CG. You probably just caused every mans brain to lock up.

It's been a quiet night. Needed to make it more interesting.

Jul 11, 2011#40

LittleSin

SpecialKO said:
Your grocery trips must be Things. Of. LEGEND.

Inthe pleasure store here there is a large black Dong called The Thing of Legend.

It is about height of my toddler and as big around as my forearm.

I have always been DREADFULLY curious about it. Like, is it a good seller?

Jul 11, 2011#41

strawman

SpecialKO said:
Yes, "must"

You're still making the same assertion with nothing to back it up. What research studies, or other reputable sources, show the negative effects you imply for those that don't follow your belief?

I don't necessarily disagree with you, but I'm skeptical about your strong assertion. You're the first person in this thread to switch from "I did/believe..." to "Everyone should do/believe..."

Jul 11, 2011#42

makare

Holy fucking shit does EVERYTHING have to be backed up with scientific data!? wtf is happening to us as a society!?

Jul 11, 2011#43

figmentPez

stienman said:
Must?

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Studies show that people are more likely to be satisfied with sex in a marriage if they don't have it beforehand.

Jul 11, 2011#44

Bones

Jul 11, 2011#45

Cajungal

I don't think that everyone who waits is in danger of being miserable. I wouldn't want my first time to be directly after making an enormous commitment. I do, however, believe in waiting until I know that I feel something for that person. It doesn't have to be love, but I couldn't do what some people I know do and sleep with someone on the first date or right after meeting them.

Jul 11, 2011#46

strawman

makare said:
Holy fucking shit does EVERYTHING have to be backed up with scientific data!? wtf is happening to us as a society!?

I know! And I'm trying to balance it as much as I can by planning my future using chicken bones, but science is just so good at showing the consequences of my actions before I act! FREAKY!

Jul 11, 2011#47

makare

I just don't really understand what is gained by waiting. If you are certain this is the person you are going to marry what difference does it make? Besides offering you a chance to address issues that might occur before hand.

Jul 11, 2011#48

Bones

like the key doesn't fit the lock on her chastity belt?

Jul 11, 2011#49

Cajungal

CALL A LOCKSMIIIITH!

Jul 11, 2011#50

Philosopher B.

LittleSin said:
Inthe pleasure store here there is a large black Dong called The Thing of Legend.

It is about height of my toddler and as big around as my forearm.

I have always been DREADFULLY curious about it. Like, is it a good seller?

So, it's like a real-life Junior-Patrick?

*Waits for absolutely no one to get that reference*

Jul 11, 2011#51

makare

What I mostly think of is my mom's friend (yes it is just one person, holy shit im getting all anecdotal all you science fucking junkies better close your eyes lest they burn) she is a very religious woman. She waited until marriage and had a horrible sex life. A while after her divorce she met another guy who was religious like she was and so they intended to wait. But she was very nervous about it because of what happened before. She talked to my mom about it and after that she decided to talk to him about going ahead and doing it before they married. They did and all was well. They got married and have so far lived happily ever after. The point being she knew they were going to marry and it eased her mind to be done with that worry.

Jul 11, 2011#52

figmentPez

I suppose that logic works if you think that sexual compatibility is some sort of mystical force that's completely unrelated to personality, and cannot be worked on or improved with effort. Sure there are people who are asexual (which should come out in pre-marital counseling) but generally if two people are healthy and get along outside the bedroom well enough to want to spend a life together, they'll be able to make things work inside the bedroom as well.

Jul 11, 2011#53

SpecialKO

I have no data that not sharing your financial status with your prospective mate is a bad idea either, and yet I feel comfortable holding that opinion. WOOO!!!

If you insist, steiny, feel perfectly free to interpret "must" as "should" and chock it up as opinion. I'll remember to check with you before I enter any of my anonymously stated forum posts into medical journals or accredited knowledge bases of repute.

Cajungal said:
I do, however, believe in waiting until I know that I feel something for that person.

~~Sure, but isn't that different from the original question? I would assume that anyone getting married would know that part already (arranged marriages aside)~~ Actually, I'm not sure how this would fit with arranged marriages. Because in that case, you really might not know that you feel something for that person until after the fact. Huh.

Jul 11, 2011#54

ThatNickGuy

Philosopher B. said:
Fun fact: you can't spell cucumbers without ... yeah.

...ber? Because it's best frozen to use?

Jul 11, 2011#55

makare

They might as well be frozen. Those fuckers are cold anyway.

Jul 11, 2011#56

Cajungal

It is a little different from the original question. I was just giving my complete opinion on the matter... To counter all tue vegetable talk, I suppose.

Jul 11, 2011#57

SpecialKO

Cajungal said:
To counter all tue vegetable talk, I suppose.

To stop that sort of talk, sometimes you need to bring out the big guns.

Jul 11, 2011#58

Bones

all this talk of vegetables, my mind can only handle so muuuch! :Leyla:

Jul 11, 2011#59

Cajungal

That oughta do it.

Jul 11, 2011#60

makare

here ya go.. eggplant.

you are welcome.

Jul 11, 2011#61

drifter

Geoduck. That is all.

Jul 11, 2011#62

SpecialKO

drifter said:
Geoduck. That is all.

....
....
What the fuck did I just look at? :eek:

Jul 11, 2011#63

makare

geoduck is a pimp

Jul 11, 2011#64

ThatNickGuy

Waaaaaait a minute.

Geoduck kinda looks like...no, couldn't be...it...*whispers* kinda looks like a penis!

Jul 11, 2011#65

Philosopher B.

I'm personally not convinced the geoduck is real. It's like somebody took a giant horse willy and glued shells onto it.

Jul 11, 2011#66

ThatNickGuy

Sounds like my prom night? :confused:

Jul 12, 2011#67

blotsfan

I never really understood marriage before sex. I feel that relationships are supposed to get more serious as time goes on. I just don't see why a lifelong commitment to someone is considered a less serious thing than simply having sex.

Jul 12, 2011#68

Null

Philosopher B. said:
So, it's like a real-life Junior-Patrick?

*Waits for absolutely no one to get that reference*

Coupling was awesome.

I've had sex before *dating*, so sex before marriage is perfectly normal to me.

Jul 12, 2011#69

Silver Jelly

makare said:
Holy fucking shit does EVERYTHING have to be backed up with scientific data!? wtf is happening to us as a society!?

No idea, I don't have enough scientific data to know it.

Jul 12, 2011#70

North_Ranger

ThatNickGuy said:
Damn Bones, I didn't know I had that affect on ya. Wait, hang on...

But that's kind of moot now, anyway. Me and her broke up a few weeks ago. One of those things that just sorta ran its course.. Doesn't need to be thread-derailed over.

~~Does this mean I won't get anything back if I PM pictures of full frontal nudity? Goddammit...~~

Okay, that was a bad one... sorry. And I'm sorry things went that way, Nick. *sympathy knuckles*

Jul 12, 2011#71

Silver Jelly

What the? How did I miss reading that??

Have some of my knuckles too, Nick.

Jul 12, 2011#72

North_Ranger

Also, late to the party... I remember once actually having an argument about this with the ex (The Psycho Biyada yada yada...), because at the time I said I could respect someone making that kind of a decision and going through with it. She took it as me calling her a whore for she had already done the deed. Guess I should've seen something was amiss...

Anyway, sex before marriage... My opinion has since changed somewhat. If someone wants to do it, more power to them. But it is gambling with something that is an essential component in a relationship. That's why you take a new car for a spin before buying it; you have to get a feel for it to see if it's the right car for you.

And no, Bones, you're not supposed to have sex with your car. Pull your pants up.

Jul 12, 2011#73

sixpackshaker

Virginity is the cherry on the wedding cake.

Jul 12, 2011#74

North_Ranger

Whose virginity, if you don't mind me asking? Because two cherries on top of a cake just looks silly...

Jul 12, 2011#75

Seraphyn

If I feel close enough to someone, why put off having sex? It's putting something up on a pedestal that really doesn't belong up there in my opinion. But whatever floats anyone's boat really, it's just not for me.
And I agree with the view stated earlier that sexual compatibility is something you work on, if you fit together personality wise, sexual compatibility shouldn't be so hard to achieve with a little effort. So the whole taking a car for a spin first comparison seems kinda odd to me.

Jul 12, 2011#76

North_Ranger

Eh, I haven't had the chance to get behind the wheel in a while, so I just wrote the first 'testing the waters' thing that came to my mind.

Jul 12, 2011#77

Bones

North_Ranger said:
And no, Bones, you're not supposed to have sex with your car. Pull your pants up.

you are a gentleman and a scholar sir...a true friend to the end.... :rofl:

Jul 12, 2011#78

Seraphyn

North_Ranger said:
Eh, I haven't had the chance to get behind the wheel in a while.

*bump*

You and me both

Jul 12, 2011#79

Math242

Why would anyone remove the best reason to ever be in a relationship to begin with is beyond me.

Jul 12, 2011#80

sixpackshaker

how about, why buy the cow when the milk is free?

Jul 12, 2011#81

Espy

We waited until we got married and we... enjoy ourselves quite a bit. We've pissed off a few bed frames though.

Clearly we are both foolish and doomed.

Jul 12, 2011#82

MindDetective

Or lucky?

Jul 12, 2011#83

sixpackshaker

Or normal?

Jul 12, 2011#84

MindDetective

Paging Dr. Kinsey.

Jul 12, 2011#85

Espy

MindDetective said:
Or lucky?

Or possibly we understood going in that marriage is about learning and working together. Not to mention that a couples sex life, like most other areas of life, is something that a couple can and should grow together in. Every relationship will have it's issues. For some they will be sexual, for others financial, for others lifestyle issues. If you aren't aware of that going in and willing to work at it your relationship, no doubt about it, will fail.

Sex is a big deal in a relationship, no doubt, but it's not that biggest issue a relationship will face. If you can communicate then you can deal with 99% of the "issues" that you will face, sexual or otherwise. If you can't... see the underlined above.

Also I am lucky, I have a great wife who is willing to be open and honest and work through things (both sexual and non) rather than freak out and think our relationship won't work if we hit a rough patch. However lucky I may be, if she hadn't been like that I wouldn't have wasted my time marrying her so... it's a little luck and little making good choices I suppose.

Jul 12, 2011#86

sixpackshaker

It is just a biological function. as long as the person was not traumatized in some way, and you love each other, you should be compatible....

Jul 12, 2011#87

MindDetective

sixpackshaker said:
It is just a biological function. as long as the person was not traumatized in some way, and you love each other, you should be compatible....

Kinsey discovered that while there is some uniformity to sexual preferences, people are not completely uniform. Sexual compatibility is actually a thing and implied in that phrase is that people can be sexually incompatible.

Espy said:
Or possibly we understood going in that marriage is about learning and working together. Not to mention that a couples sex life, like most other areas of life, is something that a couple can and should grow together in. Every relationship will have it's issues. For some they will be sexual, for others financial, for others lifestyle issues. If you aren't aware of that going in and willing to work at it your relationship, no doubt about it, will fail.

Sex is a big deal in a relationship, no doubt, but it's not that biggest issue a relationship will face. If you can communicate then you can deal with 99% of the "issues" that you will face, sexual or otherwise. If you can't... see the underlined above.

Communication is great and I am a strong advocate for it. But you cannot convince someone that they enjoy anal sex, for example, or that they should take less time to get sufficiently aroused. Preferences CAN differ.

Jul 12, 2011#88

makare

What if one is super kinky and the other one isn't? Someone is going to have a crappy time.

Jul 12, 2011#89

MindDetective

By the way, I say these things as someone who has only had one partner. I am happily married but the psychologist part of me understands that people do vary, in personality, in intelligence, in anxiety or depression, and in sexual preferences.

Jul 12, 2011#90

Espy

MindDetective said:
Communication is great and I am a strong advocate for it. But you cannot convince someone that they enjoy anal sex, for example, or that they should take less time to get sufficiently aroused. Preferences CAN differ.

Of course they can. In fact I would argue they almost always do.

I would also argue that that can be a big part of the fun in a committed sexual life, exploring those preferences and growing together, even if it means you don't get that *insert sex act* you love every single time you have sex.

Jul 12, 2011#91

makare

If you are lucky enough to mesh sexually that's great but what if you aren't? If you stay married that is a lifetime of really mediocre sex.

Jul 12, 2011#92

Espy

makare said:
If you are lucky enough to mesh sexually that's great but what if you aren't? If you stay married that is a lifetime of really mediocre sex.

Is there no room in that view for the idea that couples can actually, like any other area of life, work on improving their sex life? If so then those couples my wife has worked with at her private practice must be making it all up.

*Keep in mind there are issues, notably trauma oriented, that can be... almost impossible for people to deal with. I'm talking about general sexual preferences, etc. Nothing associate with severe trauma, etc.

Jul 12, 2011#93

makare

I didn't say anything like that but your sarcastic tone is pretty insulting. Thanks.

Jul 12, 2011#94

Espy

I'm really not being sarcastic at all I promise. What you ask is a very serious question, it's one that people deal with in their marriages all the time and many times they don't work at it but rather just get divorced or live, like you said, a mediocre and unfulfilling sex life.

Jul 12, 2011#95

makare

Espy said:
We waited until we got married and we... enjoy ourselves quite a bit. We've pissed off a few bed frames though.

Clearly we are both foolish and doomed.

Espy said:
Is there no room in that view for the idea that couples can actually, like any other area of life, work on improving their sex life? If so then those couples my wife has worked with at her private practice must be making it all up.

*Keep in mind there are issues, notably trauma oriented, that can be... almost impossible for people to deal with. I'm talking about general sexual preferences, etc. Nothing associate with severe trauma, etc.

Maybe you don't know what sarcasm is.

Jul 12, 2011#96

MindDetective

Espy said:
Of course they can. In fact I would argue they almost always do.

Sometimes dramatically.

Now for my personal opinion: I am not bound by religion so I don't feel that sex before marriage is inherently bad or sinful. I do think there are plenty of reasons to be cautious, however, including STDs and pregnancy. More importantly, men and women have evolved to approach sex differently. Men have a lower cost in engaging in sex than women. They can sleep around and then disappear with little in the way of consequences. Women have few options if they are stuck with a pregnancy. On top of that, men appear to have a programmed limit to their monogamy of, on average, about 4 years. After that, the mother is generally able to take care of the child without needing long-term assistance from the father. Survival of his offspring has increased dramatically and he can go spread his genes elsewhere. These tendencies can be suppressed, obviously, but they have a genuine impact on the manner of the relationship and the length and health of it. If a couple engages in sex right away, with little to no bonding or emotional foundation, is it going to survive beyond that 4 year mark? I think the odds of doing so would drop quite a bit. "Just having fun" relationships cater to the male's tendency to breed and run and modern technology has allowed people to do this with much less risk than before. I can't find anything to disapprove of, really, except that maybe they aren't weighting the risks enough. The serious couples, though, should perhaps at least wait before having sex to establish something of a foundation, how to communicate, etc. I don't think it needs to be until marriage, though, since I view marriage more as an open declaration of an existing relationship and less as a binding contract (for lack of a better word).

Jul 12, 2011#97

Adammon

Don't do anything Dave wouldn't do. Words to live by.

Jul 12, 2011#98

ScytheRexx

Wife and I didn't wait till we were married, couldn't even wait a week really.

Actually it took nearly 7 years before I decided to even pop the question, due to fears brought on by my father being married three times in his life. I realized by year 7 that she was sticking out with me and I knew we could make the long haul.

She is the only person I have ever gone "all the way" with, my teen years it was pretty much all foreplay but no sex with my ex-girlfriends. I guess that counts for something.

Jul 12, 2011#99

strawman

makare said:
what if you aren't lucky enough to mesh sexually?

In order for the above to be a problem, one must first assume that

1) sexual preferences are unchangeable and do not, or cannot easily, adapt
2) the relationship is not based on something stronger or more important than sex

Now, we can split hairs about both of the above - and sex is certainly an important component of most relationships. But I love my wife beyond sex and many other considerations, and if the sexual component of our marriage were completely removed my love for her wouldn't suddenly die with it. Maybe we have a magical fairy tale love that people pine about in sappy love songs, but I suspect our love isn't any stronger than anyone else's love - just like anything else in this world that's worth having, it takes effort from both people, and is a partnership.

The belief that relationships are primarily defined by sex seems to me a pretty cynical view of the world.

Jul 12, 2011#100

MindDetective

stienman said:
The belief that relationships are primarily defined by sex seems to me a pretty cynical view of the world.

I would say that romantic relationships by default are sexual. They don't have to be, but reproduction is the primary drive of a romantic relationship. I don't say it cynically, but rather from an evolutionary basis. Call me cynical if you like, though.

Jul 12, 2011#101

makare

Either way isn't for everyone and finding out ahead of time before marrying is the only way of finding out before marrying. I hate to be so redundant but that is the only way to make my point.

As I said above in my completely anecdotal nonscientific statement that woman waited and her sex life was awful. It was also a major cause for her to divorce. So the fact that sex lives can be adapted or adjusted for some people is not relevant to all people.

Jul 12, 2011#102

Espy

makare said:
Maybe you don't know what sarcasm is.

Gah. I'm really not interested in fighting with you about what my intentions were. Despite what you may believe, there was no sarcasm towards you or anyone in my statement (although I just noticed you posted my first comment, which was, I thought clearly, meant to be a joke about the things people are saying about folks who choose to wait. I suppose I should have tossed a to be clear it was a light hearted joke and nothing more). If you want to read something into them that isn't here thats fine, I can't stop you. It's an interesting discussion and I'd much rather hear what you really think rather than argue about perceived tone.

Jul 12, 2011#103

Krisken

makare said:
What if one is super kinky and the other one isn't? Someone is going to have a crappy time.

If this never came up in conversation before the wedding, there is a serious failure in communication going on anyways.

Jul 12, 2011#104

Espy

ScytheRexx said:
Wife and I didn't wait till we were married, couldn't even wait a week really.

Actually it took nearly 7 years before I decided to even pop the question, due to fears brought on by my father being married three times in his life. I realized by year 7 that she was sticking out with me and I knew we could make the long haul.

She is the only person I have ever gone "all the way" with, my teen years it was pretty much all foreplay but no sex with my ex-girlfriends. I guess that counts for something.

To be clear, in now way do I think that couples that wait have a better chance of succeeding than couples that don't. Life's a funny thing, and in the end I believe communication end up playing the larger role than when you start having sex. My wife and I waiting isn't a moral judgement on anyone. It sounds to me like you made a good choice in marrying this woman

Added at: 11:09

Krisken said:
If this never came up in conversation before the wedding, there is a serious failure in communication going on anyways.

Which, in my experience, seems to be the real cause of failure for many relationships and marriages. We had a great pre-marriage counselor and he brought up TONS of stuff, things that made us uncomfortable to talk about but man, am I glad he did. He raised issues we have had to deal with and thanks to him bringing it up we had some tools to be able to do so pretty well.

Jul 12, 2011#105

MindDetective

Espy said:
My wife and I waiting isn't a moral judgement on anyone.

I feel like people misconstrue in this manner when I tell people I don't drink alcohol. For what it's worth, I don't feel like you are judging anyone. Nor does it matter if you are, since you aren't in any position to do anything about it. :-p

Jul 12, 2011#106

Espy

MindDetective said:
I feel like people misconstrue in this manner when I tell people I don't drink alcohol. For what it's worth, I don't feel like you are judging anyone. Nor does it matter if you are, since you aren't in any position to do anything about it. :-p

To be fair, it's understandable if folks think that, especially here, where even the poll has an option to mock people who made the choice we made. But I really don't give a damn who you have sex with or when or what anyone think of the life choices people make.

But you? Oh you are total judgment jerk with your drinking stance and I'm going to do something about it. Just you wait. Juuuuuust you wait.

Jul 12, 2011#107

GasBandit

I was always your average male horndog, but even the little woman always told me from the beginning that sexual compatibility was too important to a relationship to wait until legal shackles were in place to find out it wasn't good.

Jul 12, 2011#108

Allen who is Quiet

MindDetective said:
I feel like people misconstrue in this manner when I tell people I don't drink alcohol. For what it's worth, I don't feel like you are judging anyone. Nor does it matter if you are, since you aren't in any position to do anything about it. :-p

For every beer you don't drink, I am going to drink three.

Jul 12, 2011#109

MindDetective

Allen who is Quiet said:
For every beer you don't drink, I am going to drink three.

I'm not drinking every beer right now!

Jul 12, 2011#110

Espy

Allen who is Quiet said:
For every beer you don't drink, I am going to drink three.

He just found that thing I'm going to do.

Jul 12, 2011#111

LordRendar

Kudos to those that do it.It is a Testament to your willpower and convictions.I on the other hand love sex.It dosnt even have to be because of love.It is just something two people can enjoy (if done right) and if done extremly right, by 3 or more people

Jul 12, 2011#112

Allen who is Quiet

MindDetective said:
I'm not drinking every beer right now!

Infinite beers?

Jul 12, 2011#113

makare

Krisken said:
If this never came up in conversation before the wedding, there is a serious failure in communication going on anyways.

Even people who are in relationships for a long time might have problems talking about sexual kinks. If you aren't in a sexual relationship in the first place it is even more difficult to bring up.

Jul 12, 2011#114

Shannow

oh, this thread:

Jul 12, 2011#115

Dave

I'm looking so hard but I can't find the Bloom County where Opus and his fiance are waiting until marriage. "You may kiss the bride!" *POW!!*

Incompatible noses.

Jul 12, 2011#116

sixpackshaker

That sounds like Outland not Bloom County.

Jul 12, 2011#117

Dave

I'll try that but I could have sworn it was old Bloom County days.

Jul 12, 2011#118

Espy

Dave said:
I'm looking so hard but I can't find the Bloom County where Opus and his fiance are waiting until marriage. "You may kiss the bride!" *POW!!*

Incompatible noses.

No, it's Bloom County. Lola Granola, what a lady, rawwwwr.

Jul 12, 2011#119

strawman

Espy said:
No, it's Bloom County. Lola Granola, what a lady, rawwwwr.

She sculpted metal with grinders and plasma cutters, and always seemed to have some guy friend or another hanging around...

Jul 12, 2011#120

Dave

THANK YOU!! "Jump up here and plant one on me!" Next panel they are both on their backs and one of them is saying, "Annulment!"
Added at: 14:02
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lola_Granola

"After a long-awaited wedding, Opus is knocked out when his nose collides with Lola's when they kiss. While unconscious, Opus dreams about Lola leaving him 20 years later with 23 tube-grown kids. Opus demands annulment on grounds of having incompatible noses and Lola is spoiled from all birds for the rest of her life (Tweety Bird later tries to ask her out, but she refuses)."

Jul 12, 2011#121

strawman

Dave said:
THANK YOU!! "Jump up here and plant one on me!" Next panel they are both on their backs and one of them is saying, "Annulment!"
Added at: 14:02
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lola_Granola

"After a long-awaited wedding, Opus is knocked out when his nose collides with Lola's when they kiss. While unconscious, Opus dreams about Lola leaving him 20 years later with 23 tube-grown kids. Opus demands annulment on grounds of having incompatible noses and Lola is spoiled from all birds for the rest of her life (Tweety Bird later tries to ask her out, but she refuses)."

I forgot about the tube grown kids dream. heh heh heh, good times. Now I'm going to have to pull out my bloom county book and waste the rest of the afternoon...

Jul 12, 2011#122

Espy

stienman said:
I forgot about the tube grown kids dream. heh heh heh, good times. Now I'm going to have to pull out my bloom county book and waste the rest of the afternoon...

Ditto.

Jul 12, 2011#123

Dave

I forgot about that, too. I had the end WAY ahead of time. He says "Annulment." after coming out of the dream. Man I want that strip.

Jul 12, 2011#124

strawman

I'm going to delete them soon enough, so I'm not going to bother rotating them, cropping them, or even taking good, well lit, in focus pictures. Should be enough to enjoy it though:

(and yes, incompatible noses is very relevant to this thread.)

Jul 12, 2011#125

Dave

I love you.

Jul 12, 2011#126

sixpackshaker

Dave said:
I love you.

You might need to test drive your noses first...

Jul 12, 2011#127

Cajungal

I couldn't find it, but this thread made me think of that commercial where the guy marries that girl, and she goes to the bathroom, and he looks and sees her pee standing up.

Jul 12, 2011#128

sixpackshaker

There's a scene from Bachelor Party (Tom Hanks finest work) but it is a drunk watching his hooker pee...

Jul 12, 2011#129

strawman

Cajungal said:
I couldn't find it, but this thread made me think of that commercial where the guy marries that girl, and she goes to the bathroom, and he looks and sees her pee standing up.

I'm feeling a distinct sense of deja vu all over again...

Jul 12, 2011#130

makare

Cajungal said:
I couldn't find it, but this thread made me think of that commercial where the guy marries that girl, and she goes to the bathroom, and he looks and sees her pee standing up.

Love conquers all. Double the balls, double the fun!

Jul 12, 2011#131

Hailey Knight

sixpackshaker said:
how about, why buy the cow when the milk is free?

So the only reason to get married is for sex?
Or if you're having sex, why bother getting married?

Jul 12, 2011#132

Shegokigo

The second one.

Jul 12, 2011#133

Espy

I think he's saying that you should buy a cow and start milking it so you never have to go buy milk at the store again.

Jul 12, 2011#134

sixpackshaker

Espy said:
I think he's saying that you should buy a cow and start milking it so you never have to go buy milk at the store again.

No, just sneak onto my neighbors farm and milk his daughter... err, cow.

Jul 12, 2011#135

makare

you should have at least three cows.

Jul 12, 2011#136

sixpackshaker

I don't like playing the pasture.

Jul 12, 2011#137

Hailey Knight

Espy said:
I think he's saying that you should buy a cow and start milking it so you never have to go buy milk at the store again.

But he said why buy it if free? Is he going to lease a cow?

Jul 12, 2011#138

Officer_Charon

Make sure you have a decent down, or the monthly fee is going to rape you

Jul 12, 2011#139

makare

oh i know sneak into someone elses barn and steal the milk! Then you never have to feed that fucking cow!

or milk it, kill it, eat it and find a new fancier cow. maybe a highland....

Jul 12, 2011#140

HCGLNS

I voted for LOL then gave a fistbump to all those who are still waiting for the right to get married.

Jul 12, 2011#141

SpecialKO

makare said:
kill it, eat it

You mean....make steak?

:hide:

Jul 12, 2011#142

makare

no, tartare

Jul 13, 2011#143

SpecialKO

Well, at least we won't have any arguments about how to cook it.

EDIT:

is probably more appropriate.

Jul 13, 2011#144

Dave

Not all of us sample from both sides of the buffet, though. :ninja:

Jul 13, 2011#145

North_Ranger

What do steak, crapping and premarital sex have in common?

Jul 13, 2011#146

Silver Jelly

They are not styles of pizza?

Jul 13, 2011#147

makare

Dave said:
Not all of us sample from both sides of the buffet, though.

I think you just eat iceberg salad.

Jul 13, 2011#148

Silver Jelly

The TIP of the Iceberg??

(sorry, I'm so bored...)

Jul 13, 2011#149

makare

It's ok his wife drags him out for fancier fare every once in a while.

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