[Other] Motherhood as an Axis of Oppression

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phil

phil

Um....ok.

Skimming through I'm not 100% sure what the real point of this is. I can kind of see what it's talking about with motherhood not necessarily being a choice since there are so many pressures for it but I don't think those pressures apply solely to women. Getting married and having kids is kind of a cultural norm for both sexes and I agree that I'd like to see things like that change but I'm not sure if I'd really call it oppression?

I dunno. I need to come back to this.
 
Norris

Norris

I have neither the time nor inclination to read the entire thing...but the United States' and/or the west in general's concept of motherhood can actually be a little oppressive. There's big societal pressure to be a mom, an expectation that this "mom" stuff should just come naturally, an expectation that you're able to do it mostly alone, and an expectation that you're going to be good at it immediately. As with most "women's issues", it impacts men as well since there are a corresponding set of societal expectations applying to them.

So while the paper may be histrionic, there's a chance there's a good point down in there.
 
Silent Bob

Silent Bob

phil said:
Um....ok.

Skimming through I'm not 100% sure what the real point of this is. I can kind of see what it's talking about with motherhood not necessarily being a choice since there are so many pressures for it but I don't think those pressures apply solely to women. Getting married and having kids is kind of a cultural norm for both sexes and I agree that I'd like to see things like that change but I'm not sure if I'd really call it oppression?

I dunno. I need to come back to this.
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A biological function of the human species is oppression? No, I don't see it. Reproduction is a fundamental aspect of... life. I think the societal pressure is a manifestation of how our brains just work. What species doesn't want to reproduce? It's engrained into your very being. Now, keep in mind I'm not talking about individuals. I'm talking about a general population; just like the author of that article is.

And boy, that comments section (pardon the analogy) is just one big circle jerk of idiocy. What I take from it is a bunch of women who seem to be mad at how biology works. I see a lot of "men get the fun part, and women do all the work" sentiment. Boo freaking hoo. Blame evolution for being rooted in misogyny (or God, I suppose); not society.
 
Bowielee

Bowielee

Norris said:
I have neither the time nor inclination to read the entire thing...but the United States' and/or the west in general's concept of motherhood can actually be a little oppressive. There's big societal pressure to be a mom, an expectation that this "mom" stuff should just come naturally, an expectation that you're able to do it mostly alone, and an expectation that you're going to be good at it immediately. As with most "women's issues", it impacts men as well since there are a corresponding set of societal expectations applying to them.

So while the paper may be histrionic, there's a chance there's a good point down in there.
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That pretty much summs up the whole thing.
 
LordRendar

LordRendar

Not only women are being pressed for Kids.My mom keeps asking when she will be a Grandma.Im 27,I dont plan to have children anytime soon.Dosn't stop her from asking though.
 
Silent Bob

Silent Bob

LordRendar said:
Not only women are being pressed for Kids.My mom keeps asking when she will be a Grandma.Im 27,I dont plan to have children anytime soon.Dosn't stop her from asking though.
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It's again a biological issue. Your mom wants to ensure her genes get passed on.[DOUBLEPOST=1345030122][/DOUBLEPOST]Here's a response by the author in another reddit post:

Oh god, but this brings back memories. While I have not had the experience of being quite as repressed as you (it sounds like), I have experienced something similar. My heart just about broke for you when I got to this line:
I feel terribly depressed and have zero self-esteem due to living with my mother over the summer​
because I know just how that is. I used to CHERISH being outside home for even the space of the day even though I was forced to go back home every evening, because outside my home I could breathe free.
So... I know a little of what you are going through.
May I give you some unorthodox advice? Something you may not hear on this thread?
Don't get too attached to your boyfriend. In particular, don't turn him into your savior in your mind. Don't build him up into your lifeline. Don't make him your path to freedom from your family.
Okay?
I'm saying this because I have been where you are now, and reading everything you have written here, I have complete confidence that within a year or two tops, you are going to break free from your family. It's going to be a turbulent time, but someone who is questioning things as deeply as you are is in no danger of meekly following the prearranged script as if nothing is happening inside your head.
So I have just complete faith that you WILL break free. You WILL live your own life on your own terms. You WILL NOT just marry some guy from your community who will put up with your shit and keep house for him. That WON'T be the rest of your life. I have complete confidence that you have already hit escape velocity, and now it's just a matter of breaking free of the atmosphere of your community into complete freedom. (You may decide you don't want to do that - and that will be fine too. I just want to assure you are out of their clutches already, just from thinking of all this.)
The thing that worries me is your boyfriend. No doubt he is an awesome person and truly fantatsic for helping you break free of your old life. But you don't know who you are yet. You have to stand on your own feet and live by yourself and find out who YOU are before you commit your life to a man - even if he is a man of your choice. Not saying he might not be the right one for you, only that you need to take things VERY VERY slow. Don't rush to fall in love with him, don't rush to make him The One. Five years from now you won't even recognize yourself anymore... who's to say what kind of man you will like by then??
{{hugs}} and take care!! PM me if you need anything.
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Bias against domestic life anyone? She pretty much hates being at home and prefers to travel, so she can't wrap her head around why other women wouldn't want to be the same way. Pretty damn ignorant if you ask me.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Silent Bob said:
It's again a biological issue. Your mom wants to ensure her genes get passed on.[DOUBLEPOST=1345030122][/DOUBLEPOST]Here's a response by the author in another reddit post:



Bias against domestic life anyone? She pretty much hates being at home and prefers to travel, so she can't wrap her head around why other women wouldn't want to be the same way. Pretty damn ignorant if you ask me.
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Maybe so, but "don't try to turn your boyfriend into your savior" is pretty damn good advice.
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

True enoguh, but I think, up to a point, a true relationship exists also in growing together. No, neither person should give up who they are, but being "you" and completely "you", leaves little space for an "us".
Works both ways, most certainly. Some people stick to their highschool sweetheart and, while this obviously can and does work out often, I've seen it lead to people incapable of living without that other person...So yeah, I can see the point there.

While there obviously are a lot of pressures on women to become mothers, I'm not sure in how far I'd really put it on the same level as the problems of racial/ethnic/sexist/ageist discripination/oppression. Haven't thought it through, though.
 
Wahad

Wahad

Paid maternity leave is something I support. Cheaper daycare - sure, I can work with that. Public breastfeeding I don't give two shits about. But!

Restrictions on mothers is also seen in the form of policing pregnant women. Unfortunately, quite contrary to legal protections given to mothers, most people in our society do not believe that mothers have the right to complete bodily autonomy. This gets pregnant women ejected from bars, pregnant women refused service at bars, pregnant women policed for what they eat and drink and choose to do. Several states have put pregnant women in jail for attempting to cause harm to their fetuses.
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Yeah, no kidding, you piece of shit. If you don't get an abortion, you have chosen to bring a new life in this world, and it is your obligation to make sure that life does not come into this world with a dysfunction by consuming toxic substances such as alcohol or tobacco or god knows what else. And if you're stupid or malevolent enough to do so anyway you should damn well be policed, because it's called child neglect/abuse which is illegal.
 
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