Search forums

Forums

Export thread

Mother FUCKER I hate coffee.

Jul 4, 2021#1

Dave

But since I've been diagnosed with NAFLD, it's been suggested that I start drinking coffee.

Coffee and non-alcoholic fatty liver disease: brewing evidence for hepatoprotection? - PubMed

Coffee is one of the most popular beverages in the world. Several studies consistently show that coffee drinkers with chronic liver disease have a reduced risk of cirrhosis and a lower incidence of hepatocellular carcinoma regardless of primary etiology. With the increasing prevalence of...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

So here I am, at 55, drinking coffee in the morning for the first time. Fucking hate the taste of this shit and I guess I'm no longer staying away from caffeine. Yay me!

Jul 4, 2021#2

PatrThom

Dave said:
I guess I'm no longer staying away from caffeine. Yay me!

You know coffee comes in decaffeinated varieties, right?

FWIW, the darker the roast, the less caffeine will be present, but the more it will probably taste like you're drinking burnt toast.
Don't forget that you can blend roasts to tune the flavor towards whatever you want.
I also hate coffee and only drink it for its effects, but when I do, it had better do its job.

There's also evidence that regular coffee drinkers have less tooth decay, though the mechanism wasn't known at the time I read it. For all we know it might just be that swishing the hot water around your mouth creates the effect.

--Patrick

Jul 4, 2021#3

Dave

Decaf coffee beans are more acidic and don't have a decent affect on NAFLD. SO yeah, I want to drink decaf but no, I can't drink decaf.

Jul 4, 2021#4

phil

Does it have to be coffee or is it just caffeine? There's stuff with coffee bean extract too.

Jul 4, 2021#5

mikerc

Can you drink flavoured coffee? Even of you don't find them good it might be less unpleasant than the straight stuff.

Jul 4, 2021#6

Dave

The studies have shown that caffeine is good but the coffee beans are a definite benefit. And this morning I had a caramel latte (and yes, I checked, lattes have the benefits as well - it's the beans, not the method of brewing). Didn't help. Tasted like monkey ass with caramel.

Jul 4, 2021#7

PatrThom

Can you drink Back Blood of the Earth? Would that be medically effective?

--Patrick

Jul 4, 2021#8

Dave

Not for those prices. Jesus fuck, Pat!

Jul 4, 2021#9

bhamv3

I dump tons of sugar into my coffee until there's no trace of bitterness or sourness.

Jul 4, 2021#10

PatrThom

Dave said:
Not for those prices. Jesus fuck, Pat!

Maybe your Secret Santa this year will be generous.

--Patrick

Jul 4, 2021#11

Dave

Plus, why the FUCK would I mix coffee with beer. Beer. Which I hate. And it has alcohol. WHICH HARMS THE LIVER. You know, the thing I'm putting myself through hell to fix?

Jul 4, 2021#12

Dave

bhamv3 said:
I dump tons of sugar into my coffee until there's no trace of bitterness or sourness.

Impossible. You could put a thimble of coffee in a liter of cream and I'd still go, "Yup. That's coffee."

Jul 4, 2021#13

Celt Z

I happen to like coffee, so take my recommendation with a grain of salt (heh), but after our favorite coffee shop closed, Mr. Z and I gave French press at home a shot. We also got an inexpensive burr grinder to grind the beans fresh. IMO, is make a much smoother cup of coffee. YMMV

Jul 4, 2021#14

ThatNickGuy

Who wants to take bets on how long it'll take before Dave takes a liking to coffee?

I'm gonna guess...one month from now. He hates it at first but eventually he won't be able to start the day without a cup of Joe.

Jul 4, 2021#15

phil

So maybe ask your doc if green coffee extract will provide the same or similar benefits. A quick Google search suggests it might.

If that IS the case you could look into things like Starbucks Refreshers which are fruit and juice drinks which have extract in it but literally zero coffee taste. You can also just get it in supplement form and take it like a pill.

Jul 4, 2021#16

Dave

ThatNickGuy said:
Who wants to take bets on how long it'll take before Dave takes a liking to coffee?

I'm gonna guess...one month from now. He hates it at first but eventually he won't be able to start the day without a cup of Joe.

I'm actually afraid of this. I do know it's an acquired taste so I know I'll get used to it. And the caffeine will make me crave it. Which is why years ago I gave up caffeine.

Jul 4, 2021#17

Dave

phil said:
So maybe ask your doc if green coffee extract will provide the same or similar benefits. A quick Google search suggests it might.

If that IS the case you could look into things like Starbucks Refreshers which are fruit and juice drinks which have extract in it but literally zero coffee taste. You can also just get it in supplement form and take it like a pill.

I'll look into this. I'd love to be able to take a pill rather than drink this swill.

Jul 4, 2021#18

Dave

VERY interesting. Phil, I think I love you.

Effects of Green Coffee Bean Extract Supplementation on Patients with Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease: A Randomized Clinical Trial

Non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD) is a major worldwide public health problem with no effective treatment options. Green coffee bean extract (GCBE) i...

sites.kowsarpub.com

Jul 4, 2021#19

chris

How about cold brew?

Jul 4, 2021#20

phil

If it HAS to be coffee there's two ways I would go about this:

1) Frappe drinks. Basically coffee milk shakes. I like a cafe vanilla frapoucino with java chips from Starbucks. If I were blindfolded I could not tell the difference between that and a cookies and cream shake

2) an undertow (some people called it a breve blaster as well). Start with flavoring of choice, 1 or 2 pumps. Add a small out of creamer of choice. Pull 2 espresso shots over a metal spoon into the cup. This acts as a heat sink and will float the shots on top. Pinch your nose and open your throat and down it like a tequila shot. You won't have fun but it'll get it over with super quick.

Jul 4, 2021#21

Dave

phil said:
If it HAS to be coffee there's two ways I would go about this:

1) Frappe drinks. Basically coffee milk shakes. I like a cafe vanilla frapoucino with java chips from Starbucks. If I were blindfolded I could not tell the difference between that and a cookies and cream shake

2) an undertow (some people called it a breve blaster as well). Start with flavoring of choice, 1 or 2 pumps. Add a small out of creamer of choice. Pull 2 espresso shots over a metal spoon into the cup. This acts as a heat sink and will float the shots on top. Pinch your nose and open your throat and down it like a tequila shot. You won't have fun but it'll get it over with super quick.

I had a caramel Frappuccino this morning. It tasted like monkey ass with caramel. So no, frappes still taste terrible.

Jul 4, 2021#22

PatrThom

Dave said:
Plus, why the FUCK would I mix coffee with beer. Beer. Which I hate. And it has alcohol. WHICH HARMS THE LIVER. You know, the thing I'm putting myself through hell to fix?

Their primary product is coffee extracts (which means you'd take it like cough medicine, and not by the cup). Yes they also offer coffee+beer, but that is not what I was suggesting. OBVIOUSLY. Geez.

Celt Z said:
an inexpensive burr grinder to grind the beans fresh. IMO, [makes] a much smoother cup of coffee. YMMV

Burr grinders give a more uniform size to the ground particles, which means they extract more evenly. It's like boiling potatoes...if they're not all of uniform size, they cook unevenly. Presses are great for people who don't make coffee very often, because they don't need a whole lot of setup and they don't take up a lot of room when they're not in use.

--Patrick

Jul 4, 2021#23

Dave

Found a bunch of studies and the green coffee extract has shown a significant effect on the markers I need to work on. So it's the way to go.

Jul 4, 2021#24

phil

Dave said:
I had a caramel Frappuccino this morning. It tasted like monkey ass with caramel. So no, frappes still taste terrible.

My B. I thought you said latte before but yeah if you had a frappe and still tasted it through the pound and a half of sugar there's not much more you can do.

Jul 4, 2021#25

PatrThom

FWIW, when I drink coffee, I don't want it to taste like someone took coffee ice cream and microwaved it until it was steaming hot.
But I also don't want it to taste like toasted sawdust soaked in charred molasses.
I guess that makes me fussy.

--Patrick

Jul 4, 2021#26

Dave

phil said:
My B. I thought you said latte before but yeah if you had a frappe and still tasted it through the pound and a half of sugar there's not much more you can do.

It's cool, man. You gave me the direction to look at the green coffee extract. You can make all the assumptions you want about anything else. You just made this whole thread worthless. Fuck coffee and caffeine. I can take these pills and have the same benefits.

Jul 4, 2021#27

Bubble181

I still wonder why you know what monkey ass tastes like though.

Post automatically merged: Jul 4, 2021

Also, I love coffee, the blacker and stronger the better, bitter and charred like my soul, but I had to give it up for my blood pressure and such. Boooh.

Jul 4, 2021#28

PatrThom

Dave said:
You just made this whole thread worthless.

Not true! Now the rest of us have a place to talk about our snooty/vulgar coffee habits while you get to ignore the entire thread from now on.

—Patrick

Jul 4, 2021#29

Dave

Bubble181 said:
I still wonder why you know what monkey ass tastes like though.

Don’t link shame me.

Jul 4, 2021#30

mikerc

Dave said:
Don’t link shame me.

Jul 4, 2021#31

Dave

Stupid autocorrect on my phone.

Jul 4, 2021#32

sixpackshaker

Dave said:
Don’t link shame me.

Post automatically merged: Jul 4, 2021

I thought you meant Lancelot Link.

Jul 4, 2021#33

Celt Z

sixpackshaker said:
Post automatically merged: Jul 4, 2021

I thought you meant Lancelot Link.

Most boys at the time had Farrah Fawcett posters on their walls, but Dave liked 'em looking like they did when he was young.

Jul 4, 2021#34

Squidleybits

no Diet Coke?

Jul 4, 2021#35

drifter

Celt Z said:
I happen to like coffee, so take my recommendation with a grain of salt (heh)

You joke, but adding a pinch of salt can help take the edge off the bitterness. Maybe give it a try @Dave

Jul 4, 2021#36

Celt Z

drifter said:
You joke, but adding a pinch of salt can help take the edge off the bitterness. Maybe give it a try @Dave

Oh, I know, that's why I wrote the (heh).

Jul 4, 2021#37

drifter

You gotta spell that out for the morons (i.e. me) out there.

Jul 4, 2021#38

jwhouk

It's not the caffeine he's after, @Squidleybits - though maybe Coke with Coffee might work.

Jul 4, 2021#39

Chad Sexington

Aw I love coffee, and was looking forward to Dave becoming one of us drug addicts.

Jul 4, 2021#40

MindDetective

drifter said:
You joke, but adding a pinch of salt can help take the edge off the bitterness. Maybe give it a try @Dave

Beat me to it

Jul 8, 2021#41

Shawn

I have never enjoyed coffee unless it's adding a bit of coffee to my sugar.

Jul 8, 2021#42

mikerc

Since this is now a generic coffee thread, here is a picture of my coffee machine a Dolce Gusto Eclipse.

A nice arty round style let down only by the (not pictured) ugly ass orange plug cable.

Jul 8, 2021#43

Ravenpoe

mikerc said:
Since this is now a generic coffee thread, here is a picture of my coffee machine a Dolce Gusto Eclipse.

View attachment 38292

A nice arty round style let down only by the (not pictured) ugly ass orange plug cable.

Maybe I'm just boring

Jul 8, 2021#44

Celt Z

I already posted pictures of Arron Burrgrinder in another thread, but the rest is a Keurig, a copper French press, and then a Cuisinart 12 cup for company. Mr. Z also got one of those pitchers to make iced coffee/cold brew at home, but honestly it's been hit-or-miss with me. I think it's because the grounds keep sneaking through the filter.

Jul 8, 2021#45

phil

I have a beautifully large press that I love but can't justify keeping around anymore. We can't afford good enough coffee to really let it shine and since my wife needs her coffee as soon as she wakes up we just have a normal drip machine. It's a shame really.

Press gang rise up.

Jul 8, 2021#46

blotsfan

My work provides free coffee. My favorite thing about it is that it’s free. I don’t drink non-free coffee.

Jul 8, 2021#47

GasBandit

I have only once chosen to drink coffee of my own free will. I was visiting my parents house for a wedding. The day after the wedding I had the second worst hangover I have had in my entire life (the first worst is a story for another time), and the first thing I did when getting out of bed was go straight to the kitchen, take the coffee pot right out of the brewer and lift it directly to my lips, and I drank the whole thing down in one lift (there was probably about 4 cups left in it). It was black, it was cold, and it saved my life.

Jul 9, 2021#48

Bubble181

GasBandit said:
I have only once chosen to drink coffee of my own free will. I was visiting my parents house for a wedding. The day after the wedding I had the second worst hangover I have had in my entire life (the first worst is a story for another time), and the first thing I did when getting out of bed was go straight to the kitchen, take the coffee pot right out of the brewer and lift it directly to my lips, and I drank the whole thing down in one lift (there was probably about 4 cups left in it). It was black, it was cold, and it saved my life.

Coffee is over of the worst possible things to drink with a hangover. I know, lots of people do it, but while it will wake you up, it'll also dehydrate you even further. Drink aquarius, it's pretty much made for rehydration.

Jul 9, 2021#49

Vrii

Bubble181 said:
Coffee is over of the worst possible things to drink with a hangover. I know, lots of people do it, but while it will wake you up, it'll also dehydrate you even further. Drink aquarius, it's pretty much made for rehydration.

Drinking coffee doesn't dehydrate you. It might have a less beneficial effect than something that doesn't make you pee more, but suggesting that drinking 4 cups of coffee is going to leave you more dehydrated than drinking nothing just doesn't hold up to any kind of consideration.

Jul 9, 2021#50

blotsfan

I’m in the Church of Pedialyte. If I could go back and give my younger self advice, Bitcoin would be #1 but pedialyte is definitely top 5.

Jul 9, 2021#51

Tinwhistler

Vrii said:
Drinking coffee doesn't dehydrate you. It might have a less beneficial effect than something that doesn't make you pee more, but suggesting that drinking 4 cups of coffee is going to leave you more dehydrated than drinking nothing just doesn't hold up to any kind of consideration.

I've had this exact same conversation with my wife.

Jul 9, 2021#52

Shakey

The amount of acid in coffee is what hurts for me during a hangover. Unless it’s paired with a good amount of eggs and hash browns.

Jul 9, 2021#53

Chad Sexington

Vrii said:
Drinking coffee doesn't dehydrate you. It might have a less beneficial effect than something that doesn't make you pee more, but suggesting that drinking 4 cups of coffee is going to leave you more dehydrated than drinking nothing just doesn't hold up to any kind of consideration.

It's nice not to be the person saying this for once! haha

Jul 9, 2021#54

Celt Z

Coffee won't dehydrate you, but it is a diuretic, and caffeine has shown to activate contractions the colon and intestinal muscles, making you want to poop. So if you're already feeling the effects of a hangover, you might want fo be careful how much you have and your proximity to a toilet.

Jul 9, 2021#55

PatrThom