TIL: @GasBandit is Bob the Angry Flower.
So I have this childhood friend. She also lived in the US back when I was there, and then she moved to Australia, and then she moved back to Taiwan after university. She entered the design industry, where she's been working ever since.
We lost contact after she moved away from the US, but thanks to the wonders of the Internet, we reconnected around the time she moved back to Taiwan. I also returned to Taiwan a few years later, where I studied English literature, translation, and interpretation.
Her job at her workplace involves working with English a lot. For example, she needs to coordinate with overseas suppliers and clients, and organize international exhibitions, stuff like that. Presumably she was given this role because she's lived abroad for many years, and so she had a native-level grasp of English.
Keyword is "had". Soon after I moved back to Taiwan, about 13 years ago, she messaged me to say she's not sure if she phrased a particularly delicate email correctly, so she asked if I could proofread it for her. So I looked at it, and made some edits, and sent it back to her. Then, every now and then (like once every week or two) she'd ask me to proofread emails that had to be written perfectly. I was happy to do it, because she's an old friend, and because they're just short emails and so didn't take me a lot of time, and because I like showing off my linguistic prowess.
However, over the course of the last 13 years, the volume of proofreading has increased gradually yet significantly. Where I used to only get a proofreading request every week or two, nowadays I get several a day. I pretty much proofread every outgoing email she writes. She now needs me to do this, because in the decade-plus of having me as a crutch, her English ability has deteriorated to unusable levels. Like nowadays I'll read the emails she writes, and have to ask her for several clarifications before I can understand what she's trying to express. The variety of documents I'm proofreading for her has also increased. I've been looking at product descriptions, and website translations, and tourist handbooks, and press releases... I've also bailed her out of quite a few tight spots over the years, like when an overseas supplier was angry about something, and I wrote an email that was so beautifully phrased it actually completely mollified the supplier.
But it wasn't until a few days ago, when she sent me an entire multi-paged contract and asked me to proofread it, that I finally realized how messed up this is. I've been providing proofreading and editing services for over a decade, all for free, and it's been gradually escalating to the point where I'm spending significant amounts of time to basically do a good chunk of her job for her.
Problem is, though, we're kinda stuck in this arrangement now. I don't want to stop proofreading for her, because her job requires her to have a good standard of English ability. That's why she's asked to liaison with overseas contacts. If I stop proofreading and editing for her, there's a very real possibility she'll lose her job. I don't want that, she's a good friend and a nice person. I suppose I could start charging her money, but I'm kinda reluctant to do that, because that turns our friendly relationship into a business relationship. Also, if I start charging money, then I'd have to maintain a certain standard of quality; the contracts I edit would need to be watertight, instead of the "hey I'm doing this as a favor" standard of quality that's provided now. And furthermore, this might sound a bit odd, but I kinda feel guilty about being a major cause of her deteriorating English. It's like, "if I hadn't been helping her so much, she wouldn't be in this situation, so I have to keep helping her now."
So, the lesson here is... don't give a mouse a cookie.
We lost contact after she moved away from the US, but thanks to the wonders of the Internet, we reconnected around the time she moved back to Taiwan. I also returned to Taiwan a few years later, where I studied English literature, translation, and interpretation.
Her job at her workplace involves working with English a lot. For example, she needs to coordinate with overseas suppliers and clients, and organize international exhibitions, stuff like that. Presumably she was given this role because she's lived abroad for many years, and so she had a native-level grasp of English.
Keyword is "had". Soon after I moved back to Taiwan, about 13 years ago, she messaged me to say she's not sure if she phrased a particularly delicate email correctly, so she asked if I could proofread it for her. So I looked at it, and made some edits, and sent it back to her. Then, every now and then (like once every week or two) she'd ask me to proofread emails that had to be written perfectly. I was happy to do it, because she's an old friend, and because they're just short emails and so didn't take me a lot of time, and because I like showing off my linguistic prowess.
However, over the course of the last 13 years, the volume of proofreading has increased gradually yet significantly. Where I used to only get a proofreading request every week or two, nowadays I get several a day. I pretty much proofread every outgoing email she writes. She now needs me to do this, because in the decade-plus of having me as a crutch, her English ability has deteriorated to unusable levels. Like nowadays I'll read the emails she writes, and have to ask her for several clarifications before I can understand what she's trying to express. The variety of documents I'm proofreading for her has also increased. I've been looking at product descriptions, and website translations, and tourist handbooks, and press releases... I've also bailed her out of quite a few tight spots over the years, like when an overseas supplier was angry about something, and I wrote an email that was so beautifully phrased it actually completely mollified the supplier.
But it wasn't until a few days ago, when she sent me an entire multi-paged contract and asked me to proofread it, that I finally realized how messed up this is. I've been providing proofreading and editing services for over a decade, all for free, and it's been gradually escalating to the point where I'm spending significant amounts of time to basically do a good chunk of her job for her.
Problem is, though, we're kinda stuck in this arrangement now. I don't want to stop proofreading for her, because her job requires her to have a good standard of English ability. That's why she's asked to liaison with overseas contacts. If I stop proofreading and editing for her, there's a very real possibility she'll lose her job. I don't want that, she's a good friend and a nice person. I suppose I could start charging her money, but I'm kinda reluctant to do that, because that turns our friendly relationship into a business relationship. Also, if I start charging money, then I'd have to maintain a certain standard of quality; the contracts I edit would need to be watertight, instead of the "hey I'm doing this as a favor" standard of quality that's provided now. And furthermore, this might sound a bit odd, but I kinda feel guilty about being a major cause of her deteriorating English. It's like, "if I hadn't been helping her so much, she wouldn't be in this situation, so I have to keep helping her now."
So, the lesson here is... don't give a mouse a cookie.
I had a similar situation about 15 years ago with a friend that got into IT Tech support on the basis of a fluffed up CV. It was a significant pay boost for them (60K/year from 28k/year), and I was happy to help out with the occasional question.
Over the course of 6 months or so, the questions went from an occasional email to calling me a couple times a day with urgent needs. I finally told her (paraphrase) "look, this is your job, not mine. I get paid for the same work that I'm providing to you for free. You're going to have to learn to use google or buy some books and stop using me as your crutch."
It all worked out in the end in my case. She learned the necessary skill sets and is now an IT manager. And because we were friends before, she understood my position, and we stayed friends. I can see where having that same kind of talk now with your friend, now that she's relied on you for a decade, would be difficult.
So, if you're loathe to pull the teat from her mouth, maybe you can parlay all your help into an occasional nice dinner or something instead so you feel like the exchange is less one-sided.
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If stopping cold turkey isn't comfortable for you, slowly reducing your work for her would probably work well. When you receive a request, evaluate it and figure out how much time it will take. This will include length of text, whether you have to go do some research, or ask for clarifications.
At first, start delaying your responses significantly. If you normally immediately help out, delay your responses by an hour or more for everything. Increase this time period over a few months so that she has to wait at least a day or more for this work to be done. If you have to ask clarifying questions, delay those the same amount so that eventually poorly written material takes several days to complete.
If anything takes more than 10-15 minutes, send an email (after your usual delay) indicating that you won't be able to handle it until the next day or two.
If it's anything consequential, such as contract language, after your usual delay send a response that says, "no". It might look something like this, "I'm sorry, but I no longer feel comfortable translating legal language or anything which has significant consequence if I do it incorrectly. The problem is that over time I've come to realize that I have no protection from legal liability when I do this for free, and I'm not personally insured for mistakes. You can contract with the company I work for which has appropriate legal protections, or find another service, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop doing these important translations for you."
Don't feel bad if you forget to do one and she has to send you a follow up reminder - this is free work, so it might not happen depending on your day. "I saw your earlier email, but haven't been able to get to it yet. I'll try to work on it tomorrow." <-- Notice there's no apology? You are not her slave, she's not even paying you, and if she has expectations, they are of her own making and design. Don't apologize for any work you do, or don't do, for her. She will gradually reset her expectations.
By the end of this year I'd expect you to to have significantly fewer requests from her, since she'll stop sending you anything particularly time sensitive, and anything of great importance. With luck what she does send you will improve over time as she's being forced to do more of the work herself, and the delays from sending you incomplete information and having to go back and forth, or requesting you to look up information online will be annoying enough that she should start doing a lot of that work herself.
At that point you might want to cut her off, but if the volume is particularly low and easy (back down to a few simple requests a week) then you might simply choose to keep handling it on that basis.
Another tactic is to start pushing the work back on her, and act as a teacher more than a translator. When you get a large block to translate, a response might be, "I can't do this right now, but the three things that stood out to me were 1) word XXXXXX is probably better translated to YYYYYYY, 2) The grammar in sentence three isn't correct, check out the placement of the noun in relation to the adjective, 3) While the spelling is correct, there are a few words that are incorrect, there are a lot of lists of homophones on the internet, you should look more carefully at your word choice for "lain" and "whale" since these words are probably not what you meant."
This should save you significant time, and at the same time it will give her tools and information that will allow her to do the work herself.
Lastly, recognize that while you are a professional and desire and can provide perfection, most people, particularly in their daily communication, are fine with simple mistakes and the communication is acceptable. It's unlikely that she will lose her job if she's forced to do the work herself and it's less than perfect. Don't take responsibility for her position and life.
While you may worry that changing this will damage your relationship, the reality is that she has already done significant damage to your relationship, and if anything you are attempting to normalize it.
At first, start delaying your responses significantly. If you normally immediately help out, delay your responses by an hour or more for everything. Increase this time period over a few months so that she has to wait at least a day or more for this work to be done. If you have to ask clarifying questions, delay those the same amount so that eventually poorly written material takes several days to complete.
If anything takes more than 10-15 minutes, send an email (after your usual delay) indicating that you won't be able to handle it until the next day or two.
If it's anything consequential, such as contract language, after your usual delay send a response that says, "no". It might look something like this, "I'm sorry, but I no longer feel comfortable translating legal language or anything which has significant consequence if I do it incorrectly. The problem is that over time I've come to realize that I have no protection from legal liability when I do this for free, and I'm not personally insured for mistakes. You can contract with the company I work for which has appropriate legal protections, or find another service, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop doing these important translations for you."
Don't feel bad if you forget to do one and she has to send you a follow up reminder - this is free work, so it might not happen depending on your day. "I saw your earlier email, but haven't been able to get to it yet. I'll try to work on it tomorrow." <-- Notice there's no apology? You are not her slave, she's not even paying you, and if she has expectations, they are of her own making and design. Don't apologize for any work you do, or don't do, for her. She will gradually reset her expectations.
By the end of this year I'd expect you to to have significantly fewer requests from her, since she'll stop sending you anything particularly time sensitive, and anything of great importance. With luck what she does send you will improve over time as she's being forced to do more of the work herself, and the delays from sending you incomplete information and having to go back and forth, or requesting you to look up information online will be annoying enough that she should start doing a lot of that work herself.
At that point you might want to cut her off, but if the volume is particularly low and easy (back down to a few simple requests a week) then you might simply choose to keep handling it on that basis.
Another tactic is to start pushing the work back on her, and act as a teacher more than a translator. When you get a large block to translate, a response might be, "I can't do this right now, but the three things that stood out to me were 1) word XXXXXX is probably better translated to YYYYYYY, 2) The grammar in sentence three isn't correct, check out the placement of the noun in relation to the adjective, 3) While the spelling is correct, there are a few words that are incorrect, there are a lot of lists of homophones on the internet, you should look more carefully at your word choice for "lain" and "whale" since these words are probably not what you meant."
This should save you significant time, and at the same time it will give her tools and information that will allow her to do the work herself.
Lastly, recognize that while you are a professional and desire and can provide perfection, most people, particularly in their daily communication, are fine with simple mistakes and the communication is acceptable. It's unlikely that she will lose her job if she's forced to do the work herself and it's less than perfect. Don't take responsibility for her position and life.
While you may worry that changing this will damage your relationship, the reality is that she has already done significant damage to your relationship, and if anything you are attempting to normalize it.
So far so good, thanks. The rain and winds have actually stopped where I am. My wife's currently in the south of Taiwan, with her family, but she reports everything's well there too. We're getting the day off work tomorrow, island-wide, because the storm is expected to last until tomorrow evening.
Oh, reading that, I could tell she's hot.I can only assume she's hot.
@bhamv3 Her not being qualified for her job isn't your fault. Politely tell her that you can't focus on her job and yours at the same time, and that she's going to need to learn to fly on her own. Recommend her someone else in your firm that could do translation work for her, if she needs, for a fee.
I just realized @DarkAudit posted an article about the train explosion, and not the typhoon. M'bad. Still good news though, we're all ok here.
We all assumed that if you were able to think he was talking about the typhoon instead of the explosion, you were probably fine.
Nyarggggh. Why must I be vexed with explaining basic things to people who refuse to accept that their own views are catastrophically wrong?
I'm not talking about things that have shades of grey or leeway I'm talking about writing checks out to CASH for massive amounts being a stupid idea from an accountability point of view.
I'm not talking about things that have shades of grey or leeway I'm talking about writing checks out to CASH for massive amounts being a stupid idea from an accountability point of view.
Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiild shoulder pain.
Same.
Mine's been going on for a couple months.
I'm sure it would go away if I took a few days off.
But I can't.
--Patrick
I decided to go out flower etc shopping. I need some potting mix etc. I picked our daughter up on the way there. When we get to the little mall, she sees that Pita Pit is open and has a squee fit. So I say sure, let's try it. We get there, I wait in line and order mine and she decides to get a drink and not a pita. Omfg. I had to stand in line half an hour while she enjoyed her smoothie.
&@&#%!!
&@&#%!!
You posted a jpg
ahahahaahahahaa
Oh wait, you meant to post a .GIF, let me laugh even harder
AHAHHAHAHAAHAHAAA
--Patrick
Wrong-o Mister Mistake O!
By posting the gif, she would understand. By posting the jpg, the rest of you would understand but she would not, see I'm being nice!
Hrmm... I returned from my weekend to find the entire phone system has been replaced. Yay?
Turns out it's an updated version of the system I used at my previous job, so I'm probably more familiar with it than anyone else here. So yeah yay. It increases my value to the company... up until everyone else learns how to use it.
Turns out it's an updated version of the system I used at my previous job, so I'm probably more familiar with it than anyone else here. So yeah yay. It increases my value to the company... up until everyone else learns how to use it.
Is it VOIP? I think I'm about to have stress flashbacks from my old job.Hrmm... I returned from my weekend to find the entire phone system has been replaced. Yay?
Turns out it's an updated version of the system I used at my previous job, so I'm probably more familiar with it than anyone else here. So yeah yay. It increases my value to the company... up until everyone else learns how to use it.
All these gimmicks in movie theatres are ridiculous. Imax, 3D, Imax 3D, D-Box, D-Box 3D. NONE of these improve a movie. They're a superfluous gimmick that adds nothing to the movie itself.
And of course, the option to see JUST the movie without any of these extra bells and whistles is limited to maybe one showing in the early afternoon. Very rarely do I see 7 PM or 9 PM showings without 3D or Imax or whatever else.
My niece once asked me why I hate 3D.
I asked her, "Have you ever watched a movie a second time without the 3D?"
She said yes.
Then I said "Did taking away the 3D make the movie any less enjoyable?"
She said no.
I told her, "THAT'S my problem with it."
And of course, the option to see JUST the movie without any of these extra bells and whistles is limited to maybe one showing in the early afternoon. Very rarely do I see 7 PM or 9 PM showings without 3D or Imax or whatever else.
My niece once asked me why I hate 3D.
I asked her, "Have you ever watched a movie a second time without the 3D?"
She said yes.
Then I said "Did taking away the 3D make the movie any less enjoyable?"
She said no.
I told her, "THAT'S my problem with it."
fade
Staff member
In Lafayette, LA, the university invested in this 3D visualization center for geological and geophysical data. They spent 27 million on it with the Field of Dreams business model. It has holodeck style omnidirectional treadmill rooms, multiple fully 3D projection systems, etc.
No one came despite aggressive marketing. It's aging now. It's probably 12 years old, and no one really used it. Exxon briefly invested, but that's it.
The problem is kind of the same one with 3D movies. You already have the premiere hardware device for interpreting 2D images as 3D right between your ears. You already see the image as 3D. I think that's part of the reason you grow numb to the effect after a few minutes.
No one came despite aggressive marketing. It's aging now. It's probably 12 years old, and no one really used it. Exxon briefly invested, but that's it.
The problem is kind of the same one with 3D movies. You already have the premiere hardware device for interpreting 2D images as 3D right between your ears. You already see the image as 3D. I think that's part of the reason you grow numb to the effect after a few minutes.
I can count on one finger the number of times 3D was even worth it: Avatar. I haven't seen a single other movie in 3D that was worth it.
But that's my point. There's no need for it. If a movie holds up without it, why have it at all? It's just a stupid gimmick that theatres force on customers so they can pay another couple of bucks. Most of the time, the 3D process is rushed only weeks before the movie releases. Except for Avatar, I don't know of any other movie that was made with 3D specifically in mind for its production.