June Contest: Create a Superhero or Super-villain!

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Dave

Dave

Staff member
The Contest:

Using UGO Entertainment's Hero Generator, make a Superhero or Super-villain! Then you take that picture and post it in this thread along with a bio telling about the person's powers and how they got them.

Judging will be based on creativity. Bonus points will be given for coloring and story quality. Please note that it's very easy to build a character in 2-3 clicks with the "Random All" button, which is why story matters. Mean digs at Forumites will make the entry invalid so no "Frosty Susan"s, please.

So! You've been making HeroMachine pics, and now you want to post them to the forums. Here's how to do it in a few easy steps...

HOW TO POST YOUR HERO TO THE FORUMS

1) Call up your hero so it is displayed on the screen. If you are using version 2.0 (full or beta) you might want to make sure that the 'Left Hand' component is displayed. If not, then click on the appropriate buttons until it is.

2) Hit the 'Print Screen' button on your keyboard.

3) Open a Paint document.

4) Hit the 'CTRL' button and the 'P' button on your keyboard at the same time. If nothing appears, do not panic. Instead of hitting only the 'Print Screen' button on your keyboard in Step 2, you need to hit both that button and the 'CTRL' button.

5) You should now see the entire screen that was up when you hit 'Print Screen,' now surrounded by a dotted blue line. Click on your hero and drag until the upper, left-hand corner of your hero's image matches up with the upper, left-hand corner of the Paint page.

6) Click outside the dotted blue line. Now there are eight tiny blue dots around the page, one at each corner and one in the middle of each line. Click and drag on the dot on the lower, right-hand corner until the corner of the page matches up with the lower, right-hand corner of your hero's image.

7) Go up to 'File' and hit 'Save.'

8) A window will pop up with options on different ways to save your picture. Select the file you want to save it in, and type the name of the picture in the box next to 'File name'. Next, click for the drop-down menu next to 'Save as type.' You need to select one of the following: 'JPG,' 'GIF,' or 'PNG.' I personally prefer 'PNG.' Now hit 'Save.'

9) Okay! Back to the forums! Because the vBulletin uploading of images kinda sucks, the best way to get these in the system would be to go to the MAIN FORUM TAB and click the down arrow by Community. Choose "My Albums".

10) If you don't have an album, create one by clicking the Create New Album. Name it whatever you want.

11) Upload the picture file to the Album. You may get an error message but for some reason they still upload.

12) Click on the file name and it'll bring the picture up. At the bottom you will see BB Code. Copy/paste that into the thread and you are good to go!

13) Or, you know, forget 9-12 and use the Advanced tab and upload it to TinyPic.


The Prize:

Um...Dunno yet. But it'll be at least $50 in value as they almost always are.



Have fun!




(By the way, these instructions were largely lifted from the UGO.com forums. I don't mean to steal their words but he says it much better than I could have.)
 
Hylian

Hylian











Story information

Alter ego: None

Species: Human Mutate (plasma-magnetic entity)

Team affiliations: None

Abilities:
Above average strength
Genius-level intellect
Creation of magnetic shields
Plasma based energy bolts
Heightened Agility
Heightened Speed
Flight



Origin:
One day a noted scientist Thomas Gilbert was working on an experiment that he hoped would help in unlocking the secrets of the universe. He was working on a large scale experiment based on a paper written by Winston H. Bostick in 1958. Bostick's paper theorized


“That plasma similarity transformations to pairs of plasmoids fired from a plasma gun (dense plasma focus device) would interact in such a way as to simulate an early model of galaxy formation”


Thomas had been preparing for this day all his life he had started working on this project when he was only 14 years old. He had been constantly reworking the design and running countless simulations over the next 8 years. It soon became relevant that he was on the verge of achieving something great. Finally the day was upon and Thomas was ecstatic. But when the big moment came nothing happened. The experiment was a failure. Thomas was distraught his funding was sure to be cut after this not to mention his life's work was a failure.

Thomas toiled away in for the next 3 years trying to figure out what went wrong. Finally one night after countless hours of frustration Thomas made a break through. His general theory was sound it just needed some slight tweaking here and there. Thomas went back to work and submitted his proposal only to laugh him out of the conference room. Thomas quit his job right than and there and tried going around looking for someone to sponsor his work. Finally after trying all private ventures he finally decided to try and getting a grant from the military. He knew that if some how that if there was security breaches his experiment could easily be used as a weapon by a terrorist group. Thomas presented his idea to the military and much to his joy and dismay they granted him the funds for his experiment. For the next year Thomas spent every waking moment pouring over every little detail of his plan. He wanted to make sure that everything would work this time. Finally it was time to actually test his experiment. But the night before the big day Thomas was working late and he accidentally discovered that someone inside the military was planning on selling the plans for experiment to the highest bidder. Thomas was tempted to go to the General but for all he knew the General may be in on the plan himself.

Thomas decided than and there that he would steal the experiment so that no one would be able to abuse it. Thomas quickly went to the room where the experiment was being held and started to pack everything up. He than destroyed all of his notes as well as wiping all of the computers that had been used on the experiment. Thomas than walked as calmly as possible out to his car and drove off. He went to a little shack he knew of on the outskirts of town that nobody ever went to. He spent the next 3 weeks resetting up everything he needed for his experiment. The work was slow and hard with only him there to do the work but he managed to get it done. He learned from a friend that the army was closing in on his location. He thought about moving to a new location but it would take him weeks to get everything setup again. So he decided to go ahead on perform the experiment. He started the process and everything was going great. Than he heard them coming the military had found him. Next thing he heard was a large pop and the lights went out.


They had cut the power to the shack. Instantly the shields that had been around the experiment to keep it contained went off. And without any controls to be able to adjust the experiment it started to grow in power. He ran to the experiment trying to contain it manually. At first it appeared to be shutting down but than it had a sudden surge and a blinding flash surged out all around him and he passed out. When he finally woke up he was strapped down to a bed with people in hazmat suits all around him. He looked around trying to figure out what was going on but when one of the people noticed he was awake they injected him with something that made him pass back out.


This time when he regained consciousness he was in a locked room with one window that had several people all watching him. He demanded to know what was going on and so they filled him in. Somehow the blast had mutated his cellular structure. His entire structure was now almost completely made up of plasma based energy. But the scientist could not quite figure out what was holding him altogether but they wanted to study him and try to figure out what had happened.

Thomas reluctantly agreed to let them run some tests. But after a few days he started to question why they were testing his energy output levels and seemingly nothing else. HE started to get upset over this and he went to ask one of the scientists what was going on only to be brushed off. Of course that made him mad since he knew more about the nature of his experiment than anyone else. When he reached his hand out to grab the scientist was had just turned and started walking off a blast of energy shot out of his hand and almost hit the scientist. They quickly shot him with some knock out gas and he woke up in his room again.

For the next few days no one came to perform any tests they only dropped his food off and left without so much as a word. One morning he awoke to a group of people walking again. They motioned for him to come out for some more tests. He tried to start up a conversation but was met with a stony silence. So he finally just walked along in silence. Eventually they walked into a room with multiple targets of various materials strewn about. The group of scientist quickly made there way out of the room and a voice came in over the intercom telling him to try and recreate the energy blast he had accidently done a few days ago.


He started to protest but they told him they needed to collect the data in order to figure out his condition. So he concentrated and after several failed attempts he succeeded in shooting out a blast of energy. Over the next few days he was tasked with shooting quick burst at fast moving targets and eventually to long concentrated burst at stationary targets. After another month of testing Thomas begin to full realize his powers. He was able to maintain sustained flight and he was able to project magnetic shields that could block most incoming projectiles.


But as the days progresses Thomas realized they were only testing the destructive capabilities of his powers. One day the general came to see Thomas and he requested the schematics for his experiment. When Thomas asked why the General told him that the army wanted to make more soldiers like him. Thomas was aghast and told the general that he would never give them the documents. Thomas than informed the general that he was done being there guinea pig. The general started to chuckle and told him that since the experiment had paid for the experiment that created him and since all the data had been destroyed in the accident the government was laying claim to Thomas as a weapon that they could use against their enemies. After that the general walked out of the room and left Thomas alone.


Thomas decided right than and there that he was to be no ones pawn. These were his powers and he would decide how to use them. So he concentrated all the energy he could into one blast and shot a hole right through the side of the building and took off into the night. But sadly he knew that with the government thinking he belonged to him there would be no true rest for him.
 
Cheesy1

Cheesy1

One of my characters from City of Heroes:

Dawn Revere was a scientist working in the R&D department of a local fireworks company, specializing in experimental chemicals for liftoff and explosions. While working with a particularly rare chemical, something went wrong, and Dawn was caught in a violent explosion. After recovering from the accident, Dawn discovered that she had gained the ability to conjure flames around her body without them hurting her.

Proud of her family's patriotic heritage, Dawn creates a "Star Spangled Banner" inspired suit made of a flame-resistant material that also allows her to effectively use her powers. She also creates a pair of boots that let her focus her flames through her feet and create lift, giving her the ability of controlled flight. Going by her hero name "Liberty Dawn," she is now determined to fight those who would threaten freedom and hurt the innocent.
 
S

Soliloquy

Do they have to be modern-age superheroes, or can they be from an earlier, fantasy-based era?
 
General Specific

General Specific



Captain Heroguy

An alien who saw the early Adventures of Superman emanating from Earth. He decided to try his hand at the very same thing. He has a few of the same powers thanks to his race's technological advancement. He just does not really understand Earth or humans very well.
 
S

Soliloquy



Charity Foxwit, Arcane Detective

As the enlightened age eclipsed the days of heroes and chivalry, the nations and peoples of the earth cast aside the gods and the dark arts. Such things were fickle and inconstant, unwilling to be bent to the whims of ambitious men who desired their power. And so, by the time Charity was born to a wealthy gunsmith who kept the king’s armies supplied with firearms, there were few who had even heard of the magics once wielded by the servants of the powers beyond this world.

Growing up, Charity knew nothing but the rational mechanics that ran the world. She watched her father shape the springs, triggers, barrels, and hammers of the weapons he created. Each part had a purpose; a cause to bring about an effect. And though it was frowned upon by all who knew of it, Charity devoted her hours to learning to use her father’s weapons, and studying what books she could find on the burgeoning theories of how the world works.

But one day, Charity head word that had spread throughout the city of a man that had walked out of the shifting forests to the east and laid waste to an entire village, and of how a regiment of armed soldiers was sent to stop him, but failed, and the man disappeared without a trace.

When she also heard that no one knew how the man succeeded in this deed, nor did anyone know how to stop him, Charity stole one of her father’s pistols and set off in search answers to these questions.

Now, though shunned as a witch by some due to her knowledge of the arcane, Charity travels the world to acquire knowledge of dark rituals and spells to uncover both the sources of power used by those who mean the world harm, and methods required to stop them.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

Dave, are we allowed to do more than one entry?

Anyway, here's one of my favorite villains I made for City of Villains, the crazed hunter Wallaby Jones! His original Virtueverse page can be found here.



Character Background

The son of wealthy land owners in Australia, it seems William was indoctrinated into the Australian way of life at a very early age by his father Saxton Jones, who was also a well known sportsman in his own right. The two would often go on hunting trips into their expansive estate, bonding rituals that helped develop the young boy's skills. By age 10, he was a champion marksman with several awards to his name, eventually earning the nickname "Wallaby" from his competitors for his often exuberant happiness when he would win. Good in school and with a bright future ahead of him, it seemed like the sky was the limit for young Wallaby.

Unfortunately, not all stories have a happy ending. Wallaby's mother, Jezebel Jones, had grown sickly after his birth and battled illness constantly. When she eventually died of illness, Saxton Jones became a changed man. He seemed to irrationally blame Wallaby for her death and would often beat and berate the boy at any chance he could. This abuse lasted for many years, until Saxton's later disappearance. There are rumors that gunshots were heard the night he disappeared, but with no body to be found, the local police had no reason to hold Wallaby and he was released.

The years after his father's disappearance are not well documented, manly due to Wallaby's tendency to rush off on another adventure at the drop of a hat. It IS known that he served a short stint in the Australian Armed Forces as a Sniper, until he was later kicked out following an incident involving an uprising in an Aboriginal village. This is the point when he is rumored to have taken up his work as an assassin. From this point on, Wallaby's travels are too erratic to document conclusively, at least until his arrival in Paragon City in 2008. It was at this point that Wallaby seems to have begun his hunts again, this time targeting both civilian and super alike. Wallaby was finally arrested in mid 2009 after his failed attempt on the life of the local hero Dynaburst. Deemed too dangerous for housing with the general population at the Zig, Wallaby was transferred to Astoria Asylum in hopes that the environment would be conducive to his rehabilitation.

Wallaby is surprisingly well adjusted for a man in his line of work and of his life experiences. Always polite and friendly unless reasonably angered, he is generally kind and compassionate to those he meets. He does not extend this compassion to those he hunts, though he generally does his best to ensure that anyone he hunts has a sporting chance, even if this would put him at a disadvantage. He clearly has a thrill seeking nature, almost to the point of self destruction.

Confirmed Kills

Stewart Irving: The renowned wild life expert and conservationist had crossed Wallaby's path on more than one occasion, often thwarting his attempts to hunt endangered game in the most remote parts of the world. Their feud was well documented, with Irving often making front page news whenever he stopped one of Wallaby's hunts. When Irving was found impaled on the end of a robotic stingray, it was clear to all who was behind the foul act. This was later confirmed by the fingerprint analysis of several cans of Fosters found at the scene.

Equipment and Weaponry

* CZ-550 chambered for .600 Overkill (Sharona)
* Modified Force-field Generator (Matilda)
* Traps and Hidden Weapons, too numerous to list.
 
phil

phil



HOMELESS MOSES FROM THE YEAR 2230........BC!


Beware evil doers! All the way from the future, if the future is the past is HOMELESS MOSES! Defender of the innocent, scourge of the oppressed, sometimes a flasher and usually drunk!

With his awesome telekinetic powers and his trusty sidekick Yahweh the rat*, he's out to ask for change! Maybe a buck or two to help a guy out, you know?

Also changing your face around if you're a criminal!

Feel secure citizens, for HOMELESS MOSES wanders the streets righting that which is wrong, so long as the police don't ask him to move it along. If danger is about, simply seek out the nearest soup kitchen, for HOMELESS MOSES might just be there to defend you with his 10 plagues of justice!

*Yahweh the rat sold separately.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

He kinda reminds me of Mr. Easter. Mr. Easter is a highly evangelical homeless person in (I think) ether the Wild Cards or Whateley universes, who only has three powers:

- Turns Water in Wine
- Can infinitely multiply fish and bread loaves
- If he dies, he comes back to life in 3 days.

With those three powers, he's generally considered the greatest Super Hero in New York, as his creative use of them allows him to largely protect and support the homeless population.
 
phil

phil



Gentleman Detective!

Gaining the powers of a detective from his father and he powers of a gentleman from his mother, Gentleman Detective has dedicated his life to solving mysteries with a level of class usually reserved for a Fitzgerald novel. Don't let his small stature fool you, evildoers, Gentleman Detective has the heart of a lion. A lion that he was marksman enough to bag from 1000 paces and skillful enough with both blade and needle to install that heart next to his own whilst under a self induced hypnosis. Following his successful surgery Gentleman Detective was, unfortunately, forced to skip his own recovery party to solve the case of the stolen mummy.

Where will his next case take him? No one knows. Perhaps he will find himself in the bedroom of the spider queen or trapped in the Amazon bing hunted by former Nazi scientists. Find out for yourself in the next thrilling adventure of Gentleman Detective!
 
phil

phil



Beware citizens! There's a new menace to be on the lookout for. Trash-Heap!

To say that one villain's trash is Trash-Heap's treasure would be an understatement. Every broken robot, every disassembled laser, every destroyed doomsday machine ends up somewhere, and that somewhere happens to be the lair of Trash-Heap. A genius and master salvager, Trash-Heap rummages through the garbage bins and waste yards of the city in search for those overlooked parts and seemingly harmless gadgets to add to his ever growing arsenal of doom.

Think twice before you throw out that old computer, or even that seemingly broken microwave, because you might just be adding to Trash-Heap's next attack!
 
phil

phil



INVALID ENTRY.

What you see before you is a normal human, nothing more. Observe my normal human clothes. They are all attached to each other for convenience and nothing more. Observe my normal human hair and hat. Data indicates that they are stylish. Observe my preference for one sporting team over another as depreciated in my attire. There is nothing more to see here. Perhaps if you wish we could discuss inferior human leaders and our praise and or dislike for them. Internal sensors indicate rain soon. What a hassle or blessing depending on preference.

Oh would you indicate local time. I must be going to my labor station for fruitless toils. Perhaps later one of us shall detect The Automatron saving inferior humans from danger. His superior robotic construction allows him to protect many humans at once against harm. Until next time, fellow normal human.
 
phil

phil

It's loading weird. You have to scroll down a bit to get to the actual generator. I used the 3.0 generator for two of mine because I thought the 2.5 one in the link was broken.
 
Ross

Ross

Staff member


Background: From New Jersey.

Superpowers: Clerk abilities, mediocrity.

Weaknesses: Relationships, awkward situations.

Tag line: "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
If you want to draw it yourself or use a different Hero Generator, knock yourselves out.
 
T

TwoBit



Zar-John, Evil Shadow Warrior Mage (Ninja Wizard).

"It is I, Zar-John The Ninja Wizard. And I hate nature. Not a regular hate, mind you. Not a hate your mother-in-law kind of hate. Oh no! Not even close. It's not even a hate your boss kind of hate. Or a hate tax season kind of hate. Or a hate the system that keeps a brother down kind of hate. None of those. It’s not even a balls-to-the-wall-oh-my-deity-of-choice-I’m-going-to-hate-myself-into-an-early-grave-right-after-I-bust-this-blood-vessel-in-my-forehead kind of hate.

It goes far beyond even that. It's more of a primeval kind of hatred, a kind of hatred that existed long before me and will be here long after I'm gone (and I'm going to live forever). It's as if I exist solely to manifest this malevolent loathing of everything nature stands for.

It's a burning hate, people. A hate that consumes from within. Do you know why I have no flesh? People ask me that all the time. They say: ‘hey Zar-John, where the hell did your skin and stuff go? Was it flesh eating bacteria? Cigarettes? The trans fats?’ And I say no. Not even close. It was the hate. I HATED THE VERY FLESH RIGHT OFF MY BONES, PEOPLE. You try that sometime. ‘S not very easy. It requires much effort. But in the end it paid off.

I am now an unnatural thing. Forget unholy. That matters not. It's nature in which I toil against, not the gods. Do I toil In vain? I hope not. Also? I'm totally a sweet ninja as well as a bitchin’ wizard. I've got like a hat and everything, people. And a katana too. Or is it a tachi? I'm not sure. I got it from this shady character at a flea market. Before I could ask him anything about the sword, I heard police sirens and he hopped into a pick-up truck and sped away. I hear he's now number four on the FBI’s ten most wanted fugitives list for assault against a government building with an explosive duck.

But anyway, I digress. I STILL HATE NATURE, PEOPLE. Oh, boy, do I ever! I hope one day to eliminate every last trace of nature off the face of the planet. How will I do this, you ask? I'm fairly certain that my lack of natural body parts makes me immortal, which seems to suggest I'll have infinite time to plan the downfall of nature. I can probably accomplish anything given unlimited time. Maybe even score Wynonna Ryder’s phone number.

I'm pretty good with fire spells. And lightning. Know what nature doesn't like very much? Besides oil spills and radioactive plastic? (Radioactive Plastic was the name of my band in college, BTW.) Fire and electricity. And I've got a shit ton of both. Look out, fluffy rabbits and dolphins and trees and anacondas and marmots and petunias. I'M COMING FOR YOU.

I hate nature so much it makes me wanna pee, a little bit. But, alas, I can't. No organs, people."
 
T

TwoBit



Little Miss Hippiepants.

“Hey, everyone, it's Little Miss Hippypants. I'm here to spread the love. Of nature. How much do I love nature? A lot! Why, every day of the week, I'm out amongst the grand splendor of nature hugging the ever loving shit out of it. I love nature more than life itself. More than hemp. In fact, nature created hemp! How about that for super fun time awesome?! I'm so giddy and stoned I don't even know what I'm saying!

Oh, yeah, nature. I loves me some nature. If nature was a person, I'd totally get with it. You know? Excuse me while I take this bong hit. Hoooooo, yeah, that was some good shit. But anyway! Hooray for nature! It's my job to protect it, you know? There's all these bad guys out to destroy nature. OK, maybe just a few. Oh, all right, there's just this one Wizard Viking. Pirate? Samurai? I'm not sure. He's a big meany, that's all I know. He totally hates natures. Wants to kill it. But I'm about to Captain Planet his boney ass. I'll do it right after I volunteer at the local co-op. And I’ll do that right after the rainbow demons get out of my unkempt hair.

Remember! Recycle or something. That's great, right?”
 
P

Philosopher B.

Warning: The following super-hero biography contains strong smexual themes:

Our Hero:


Lothario has only two questions:

1) Do you have a G-Spot?

2) Would you like help finding it?

Lothario knows all about the ladies in this city. He knows the hurt they endure at the hands of their small-dongled husbands, who go to the office every morning, sniff glue until 5 pm, and then come home for a brand-new game of smack-a-bee-yotch. That's like whack-a-mole, except with bee-yotches.

Lothario has sworn in blood (like the virulent hunk of man he is) that not only will he protect the good women of this city, but he will bang their tits off. However, if they prefer getting head to penetrative sex, he is more than happy to accommodate, and has mastered a wide range of techniques including gently but firmly reciting the Chinese alphabet into their sweet, sweaty forests of love.

He is the God of Foreplay, and an expert in fetishes, assuring that whatever you'd like to do before getting off, he's going to get into that like a racoon into goddamn garbage. Incidentally, if you have a garbage fetish, he has bags and bags of the shit on standby. Mostly, they're filled with used condoms.

Lothario popped out of a vagina at the age of 0. He was so fascinated by the whole experience that he has since employed his time in getting into every other vagina he can get his sexy, hairy mitts on. Since the age of 9, he has only gone, on average, three hours a day without some part of him inside some part of someone else. Mostly, he takes a break to eat, though vag is the main course in his diet.

Due to his unnatural stamina, he only has to sleep for an hour and a half, during which he spoons a Latino. There is no reason that it has to be a Latino, other than that they're fucking sexy.

Sexiness, as it happens, is something Lothario can get behind, and in fact frequently does.

Some have questioned Lothario's methods of saving women from unhappiness, even going so far as to brand him a womanizer. A typical response resembles the following:

'Well, I don't know what a womanizer is, but if they get a truckload of p*ssy on the end of their disco stick on a daily basis, then baby, I'm guilty as charged. Now get out the way. I've got an erection and I need someone to help me put it out.' - Lothario

Lothario's archnemesis, Limp Richard, has been especially critical in the press. When cornered by a Throbbing Bugle reporter, he had this to say:


Limp Richard says
[sc]http://soundcloud.com/kc-cb/limp-richard-1[/sc]

*Transcript*
The guy goes around showing off his massive junk to begin with ... but that's not all. You see those boots? Them shits is scented with an an aphrodisiac or some shit. You know how I know? Remember last month, when he decked me in the teeth? I know you do because you reported it and left out the part where I pinched him to start the fight. Man, that was a pinch. Hoho! You coulda wrote a song about that shit. Top of the charts, baby. But anyway, I keeled right over and got a whiff of the ol' leggings. Goddamn it all if I didn't want to have sex with the guy, too! He's not playing fair. You know that dog he goes around with? What better way to get a crowd of women automatically interested in a man? I'm telling you, they gobble that shit up like Grandpa at the feed trough. OM NOM NOM NOM. You gotta fight off the ugly ones when you got a baby pooch around. And what's more, he does! He don't lug around that club for his health; he does it to smack nasty ol' biddies in the face when they get too close to his Johnson. Hi-yah! Savior of the fairer sex, my limp d*ck!' More like a goddamn womanizer. That's a nizer, of womans. But yeah. That skeevy-ass bie-atch has got a lot to answer for. He better watch out, 'cause when Limp Richard pinches a second time, that shit STINGS!


When pressed for a rebuttal, Lothario had this to say:

[sc]http://soundcloud.com/kc-cb/lothario-1[/sc]

*Transcript*
I f*cked your sister!

Many people mistakenly believe that Lothario's superpowers include electrical abilities. Scientists have proven, however, that he is literally crackling with sexual energy, and if he has gone too long without a lay (which thankfully has never happened in the history of forever), it is theorized that a single touch of his rough hide could instantly induce multiple orgams in any hapless female who makes the contact.

It is not known if the same would happen in the event that a man touched him, and it is unlikely that the matter should be put to the test, due to the crossbow he wields in order that he might ward off members of the male sex.

What follows is the official list of known powers that Lothario posseses:


Special powers:
• Having sex with a woman from ten inches across the room.
• Prehensile penis.
• Rock hard abs and nipples.
• The ability to impregnate a woman with a look. Typically only used on nuns for a lark.
• Super-tongue.
• A sixth sense that enables him to hone in on the g-spot.
• Heightened animal magetism.
• Really sexy boots.

Nicknames:
• The Sex Machine (or The Sexier Machine, due to James Brown's association with the former)
• Daddy
• My Lord and Master
• The Conqueror
• Firm Richard (as opposed to his nemesis, Limp Richard)
• The Man Who Gave Me The Shaft

Special weapon: Cute puppy-dogs. If none can be found, kittens are a viable substitute. Especially orange ones.

Testimonials:

Helen from Trenton, NJ:
[sc]http://soundcloud.com/kc-cb/testimonial-1[/sc]

*Transcript*
I was in a terrible marriage with a man who finished in two minutes flat. Now I leap onto a monster jock every Friday night. We do it for hours, even with his tight schedule. Thanks, Lothario!

Jacquelyn from NYC:
[sc]http://soundcloud.com/kc-cb/testimonial-2[/sc]

*Transcript*
Before Lothario saved me from unhappiness, I couldn't orgasm for shit. Now I come rainbows every day. It's a dream, baby!

Annabelle from Philly, PA:
[sc]http://soundcloud.com/kc-cb/testimonial-3[/sc]

*Transcript*
Mffff!

It is estimated that Lothario has had sex with at least half a million women, though the exact number could be much greater. The only known man who has gotten more poon has apparently retired from the business and, according to his statements made recently to The Throbbing Bugle, bears Lothario no ill will:


Sean Connery says:
[sc]http://soundcloud.com/kc-cb/sean-ass-connery-1[/sc]

*Transcript*
I bear Lothario absolutely no ill will. D'you rememba James Brown? They said he was a sex machine. I say, horseshit. Lothario is a goddamned sex factory. He produces erections like the Beatles produced numba one hits. It makes me proud to see such a strapping young specimen of man following in my footsteps. If he can beat my record, he can beat anything. My hat's off to him. There can be only one, afta all.

In addition to being a hunk of the most brazen order, Lothario spends the few moments of his time in which he is not dutifully taking women to see the boneyard composing hit rap songs. His first #1 hit (coincidentally his first single) was 'Loth-Ari-O', from his debut album 'Is It A Bird - Is It A Plane - No, It's My Penis'.

Loth-Ari-O (Explicit)
By Mc Lothario feat. Sean-ass Connery

(Not available on Itunes, because Itunes are a bunch of pussies)

[sc]http://soundcloud.com/kc-cb/loth-ari-o[/sc]

Warning: The following lyrics would make your old man blush (twice)
My name is Lothario, I'm fucking huge
I'll slay you like Mario 'cept I use my splooge
If you got a lady, hey, go an' lock her up
I'll screw that baby faster'n I can pee inna cup
And lemme tell you somethin’ – I can pee real quick
Straight out mah dongle, man – I be stout and thick
But pee ain't the only thing I can spray
So get away from me when I get a new lay
I'm gonna pound it hard but I'm gonna pound it sly
I'm a genius not a tard; on my expertise you can rely
I happen to be king of that sweet foreplay
You gonna feel some things that are new in the hay
I invented several kinks in the last two minutes
And now we on the brink of gettin' all up in it
Oh yeah, girl, I'm so hard now
My vision is a blur and I'm gonna need a towel


Loth-ari-o, the king of the land - got a wicked-ass dick and a penetratin' hand. He'll do you with all his might right in the caboose, he likes the ladies tight, he likes the ladies loose
Loth-ari-o, the savior of girls - he's a sex machine and he will rock your world. He can go in, or he can go down - doesn't matter as long as he goes to town

But as Levar Burton would say, "Don't take my word for it"
On matters of the hay I got mad affidavits
Sean Connery said, “Check this bitch here out
He gives amazing head and his snake is stout
He's tall like Jaws and he's quick like Indy
He'll give you pause when he's all up in ye
He's immortal like MacLeod and he's hot like Bowen
His dick is always aroused an' it never stops growin'
‘I am the lasht one!’ That's what I said
But he be another dragon when it comes to giving head
If you think in the 60s that I was freaking hot
Well compared to this dude, the vaginas saw a drought
See, I screwed one of every five women there were
But he be screwin' plenty 'cause he takes 'em in pairs
Pussy Galore would never ever try to resist him
But when she was with me she was pissed like a bitch then"

Loth-ari-o, the king of the land - got a wicked-ass dick and a penetratin' hand. He'll do you with all his might right in the caboose, he likes the ladies tight, he likes the ladies loose
Loth-ari-o, the savior of girls - he's a sex machine and he will rock your world. He can go in, or he can go down - doesn't matter as long as he goes to town

I don't get the ladies into the hay
They jump there prematurely when they see me come their way
Kermit the frog said that it's not easy being green
Well, when it comes to head man, it's sure easy to be keen
Yeah I got mad skills, they be spillin' over
I'm stocked to the gills, with that manly-ass vigor
I could go all day an’ right through the night
Or I could say 'Hey - You want an end in sight?'
Pick a place and time, I don't really care
My lovin' be sublime, in bed or onna chair
Just don't tell your fat tubby hubby
'Cause your fat tubby hubby ain't lovey like dovey
But if worst comes to worst, I can shoot a mean arrow
Bring-'em down like-a horse, explode 'em like a barrel
I've slain many villains who posses small dicks
If only they'd chilled and had bigger disco-sticks
Women should be loved like twenty times a week
Now when push comes to shove I beat up on the weak
So check out mah chest, I got a bear tattoo
I'm better'n all the rest, and I do a rad screw

*Miscellaneous Woooing*


Regardless of your perception of Lothario or his methods, he is going strong, and will continue to roam our fair nation, his crotch bulging in the overcast sun, his mane of Godly hair swishing
in the noonday breeze.

Notable women with whom he has enjoyed carnal relations:


+
*Nearly every attractive woman you have ever met in your life*

Lothario has never either taken a shower nor sung, but in the even that he took up said hobbies, he would sound like this:

Lothario in the shower:
[sc]http://soundcloud.com/kc-cb/loth-in-the-shower[/sc]

*Transcript*
*Reading Rainbow Theme Song*
 
T

TwoBit



The Thingamajigger

“Hey you! Yeah, you. The guy in the three wolf moon shirt with the Chinese character tattoos that spell ‘dumb white guy.’ You seem to have just the right amount of bravery and limited intelligence that I need. I have a bit of a dilemma, you see. Using my immense intellect I have invented a goodly number of devices with which I intend to use to fight crime. I will be known as The Thingamajigger and the criminal scum will wet their pantaloons at the mere mention of my name. However, there is one hitch. I need someone to test my crime fighting equipment for me.

Why don’t I do it myself, you ask? Um…because my doctor said no. And when my doctor says no, he sure means it, I can tell you. What’s that? You don’t believe me? Well, I don’t blame you. I’m not, in fact, a very convincing liar. Truth is, despite having an IQ well over three hundred, I am not very brave. In fact, I am quite the wimp. Do not laugh and mock, good sir, because Mother Nature has seen fit to compensate me with a mind so vast in scope that I would have to have extensive brain injury just to think down to your very limited level.

I have tried many times over to test my rocket boots. But every time I strap them on, I have a panic attack. It’s no use. I have gone to countless psychotherapists to cure this condition. But to no avail. So I am asking you to test these inventions for me. What’s that you say? You don’t think it’s safe? Don’t worry about it. There’s no chance you could lose both feet in a horrific accident. OK, so maybe there is a chance, but let me assure you, it is very small indeed.

You could also try out this wrist cannon, while you’re at it. It could, just theoretically mind you, overheat and burn your arm off. But don’t worry. Your mind is so primitive, I’m sure it won’t register much pain anyway.

Before you go ahead with the test just sign this form. Don’t bother reading it first. Also, are you an organ donor? Just askin’.”
 
Piotyr

Piotyr



Name: The Enchanter
Alter-Ego: There are some who call him....Tim.
Arch Enemy: The Rabbit of Caerbannog - A creature so foul, so cruel that no man has fought with it and lived. Bones of a full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. For those that doubt their courage and strength, death awaits them all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.
Lair: In "the mountains".
Superpower: The ability to conjure explosions and fireballs.
Origin: Unknown
 
Zappit

Zappit

Staff member
Okay - last minute but here goes:

The Irish Rose



The Irish Rose is the American-born daughter of the Irish supervillian Laserfist. When Laserfist died secretly saving the world, his daughter, Rose, was convinced that the Actioneer (another character of mine) was responsible for his death. She sought out the young hero to take vengeance, but after a prolonged chase and an encounter with Mister Action (the hero who was with Laserfist when he died) the truth comes out. Rose, relieved at hearing of her father's heroic side, decides to use her powers to fight on the side of angels.
 
Green_Lantern

Green_Lantern

Staff member
Aura Girl



Lira Lurgo is a Vanshir, a Alien race that once had to use human DNA to change themselves to save the race from a genetic plague. That was a 10 thousand years ago however, the Vanshir still remember the fact and hold humans and the Earth with something of admiration, like how people admire the medieval times, specially now that "super-heroes" started to appear

Being a highly advanced race, Vanshir had several space colonies and starships, and the Lurgo Family lived in Pelia-03, a space colony orbiting the gas giant called Pelia, Lira's family consisted of her parents (Vauls e Daitana, the gravity engeners of Pelia-03), her younger sister Daula, and her older stepbrother Kir.

Because of a discussion with Vauls, Kir run away and was followed by his stepsisters, saddly he ran to the core mass effect generator, right in a moment when there is a energy surged, the parents though they lost they children... but as a miracle they survived

The kids are however changed, Lira herself find out that could increase and redirect gravity at will, Daula could negate and reverse gravity, while Kir... suffered a transformation that allowed him to become a "living black-hole" and soon escaped to cause havoc in the galaxy.

Lira and Daula however are sent to Earth, The Vanshir Star Republic din't had much experience with dealing with specials decided that it was better to send them to people who did, and that is how she enrolled in the Umbrella Institute a disguised Super-Hero school that trains heroes from anywhere in the world and beyond.
 
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