I've had 4 hours of sleep, so AMA.

You might get a weird answer. You might get a short video of me drooling on my keyboard. You might have a doomweasel show up at your house later tonight. Go ahead; take a chance.
 
Two-parter...

Do the doomies have separate hoards, or one big one?

and

What's the biggest thing you've caught them in the act of trying to steal?
 
I wanna see the drooling video..

Question: Do your doomies have a strong smell? We had a ferret when I was a kid, and it had a very distinctive odor. I'm not sure if he was fixed (which I hear helps a lot). I loved our ferret, but I'm kind of a stickler for the house having a neutral odor (I have a very powerful sense of smell). I won't even get a hamster for that reason. heh.
 
Two-parter...

Do the doomies have separate hoards, or one big one?

and

What's the biggest thing you've caught them in the act of trying to steal?
I have three separate groups of doomweasels because even amongst genetically-altered monstrosities designed to take over the world, there are utter bastards. There is a group of 4 that lives upstairs and a group of 10 that live downstairs. Mostly I have to deal with in-fighting for pecking order but since I have one strong-willed male and two strong-willed females who aren't backing down, I can't keep them together as a business. However, the aggression is good for unleashing on an unsuspecting populace so I encourage it.

Besides me (I've had 37 doomies in my life and fully half* of the them have tried to drag and stash me under a sofa/bed/cabinet), I had a little 1-lb sprite drag my upright vacuum cleaner under the futon, then drag a blanket over it to hide it. She loved to chase and attack it when I vacuumed and didn't want me messing with her toy.

So, yes, they are fully capable of dragging you back to Saskatchewan. You have been warned.

*No, I didn't have half a weasel drag me under a sofa. Hush, I don't math this early in the morning.
 
Weasels or ferrets?
There's a difference?

Owls or hawks?
There's a difference? :hide:

OK, OK, no hitting. That's a tough choice but I would go with owls. The adults are gorgeous and have a quiet grace while hunting that is beautiful to watch; the owlets look like something from the Jim Henson Workshop. Plus, they are fun to hoot at during the evening because I can tell it's bugging the crap out of them. :)

Why the animal thing?
I've always gotten along better with animals than with people. I grew up quiet, shy, and depressed and animals were there for me when adults weren't. They helped me get through some pretty rough times when medication and therapy wasn't helping, so I give back to them how I'm best able.

Why live somewhere too cold and northern for Santa?
I grew up in heat and humidity and can't handle either of them. Before I moved up here, I would be so sick from the heat that I could only eat once the sun went down (no, this does not mean I'm a vampire; put down the holy water). My first winter in Quebec was rough but that was mainly because I didn't have the clothes for it (plus, OMG, real snow!). Now I've adapted and wander around in -20C in my light coat instead of my heavy, -40C coat. I also like to laugh at Canadians who like to complain about the humidity. Oooooo, 45% humidity. How tragic for you![DOUBLEPOST=1449666859,1449666290][/DOUBLEPOST]
I wanna see the drooling video..
Will you accept a doomweasel drooling on the keyboard? I really shouldn't reveal my true identity before I put my evil plan in motion.

Question: Do your doomies have a strong smell? We had a ferret when I was a kid, and it had a very distinctive odor. I'm not sure if he was fixed (which I hear helps a lot). I loved our ferret, but I'm kind of a stickler for the house having a neutral odor (I have a very powerful sense of smell). I won't even get a hamster for that reason. heh.
Neutering/spaying doomies definitely helps - the males are the stinkiest, nastiest, greasiest creatures on the face of the earth (except for politicians) and the females aren't much better. It's not necessary to have them de-scented because while they do have anal glands that they use for defense, they don't spray like a skunk. At the most, it smells like a bad fart that dissipates quickly.

The main odour comes from the oil that they naturally produce and the best way to combat that is to wash their bedding regularly to prevent oil from building up and turning rancid. I wash my doomies' bedding in hot water with baking soda once a week and it keeps the odour way, way down. Feeding them a good diet (either a high-quality ferret kibble or a raw diet) will also keep down litter box odours. You're naturally going to get some smell because they are animals but it isn't any worse than dogs, cats, or teenage boys.
 
What is your best way to stay awake? Caffeine? Exercise? Television? What?

--Patrick
Today is definitely going to be a caffeine day. Normally, I would turn to exercise, like riding my bike, but 4 hours of sleep means that the energy level has hit rock bottom and I don't have enough umph to kick back my kickstand, much less push a pedal.

TV definitely wouldn't work. I'm already starting to blank out while reading my computer screen and the drooling has started. I'm thinking of painting eyes on the lenses of my glasses so everything thinks I'm awake.

This is going to be a long day.
 
During bouts of exhaustion, are you more prone to giggling fits or random weeping?
Definitely fits of giggling. It gets really interesting when I'm super-tired and I talk to someone on the phone and I start rambling off into weird areas and saying whatever pops into my head. Then the singing starts...[DOUBLEPOST=1449679276,1449679219][/DOUBLEPOST]
During bouts of energy, are you more prone to juggling fits or random sweeping?
You should see me juggle doomweasels. It's a sight you'll never forget, no matter how much you try, no matter how much alcohol you consume.
 
Why the move from the deep south to the deep north?

MacGyver or Mr Wizard?

Favorite Muppet?

Fav and least fav aspect of the great white North and Dixie land?

Fav. Canuckistani cuisine?
 
One human-sized weasel under your command, or five weasel-sized ones?

A hot air balloon or a helicopter?

Owls or sea cucumbers?

World Domination for a year, or the love of your life, for life?

Wealth beyond your wildest dreams, or knowledge beyond your greatest understanding?

Live and let live, or Live by the sword, die by the sword?

Clichés or stereotypes?
 
World Domination for a year, or the love of your life, for life?
But with World Domination sure could just force the love of her life into loving her. (and to take care of the time after that year, she can just have him disappeared to her retirement villa in Emyrskatchewan.



Does this sound like a good plan?
 
Why the move from the deep south to the deep north?
I had to get away from the heat/humidity and my crazy family. I had a friend who lived in St-Hubert in Quebec who invited me to live with him and I said "That's so crazy, it just might work". I was right - it was crazy and it worked. This April 4, 2016, I'll have been here 22 years and have my citizenship so I guess I'll stay, at least for a little while longer.

MacGyver or Mr Wizard?
Considering I've seen neither show (I watched horror movies when I was little; that's how crazy my childhood was), I can't really comment. I used to watch Mr. Roger's Neighborhood but he's not exactly known for blowing things up.

Favorite Muppet?
Oh, Sweetums, definitely, closely followed by Dr. Teeth and Uncle Deadly.

Fav and least fav aspect of the great white North and Dixie land?
Fav. of the GWN - The pace is slower compared to the US, the people are friendlier, it's cleaner. And there aren't as many people, so I'm not going to have as much trouble taking over.
Least fav. of the GWN - Sunset at 5:30 pm and sunrise at 9:30 am in the winter. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder and going to work and coming home in the dark can take its toll. Then again, there is sunrise at 4:30 am and sunset at 10:00 pm in the summer so that does help to balance it out.

Fav. of Dixieland - I miss the long growing season and the azaleas and magnolia trees. Spring in Mobile was always so beautiful before the cruel sun of summer torched everything.
Least fav. of Dixieland - See my above comment about the cruel sun of summer.

Fav. Canuckistani cuisine?
Smoked meat sandwiches at Schwartz's deli in Montreal. Heaven on a plate.
 
My post was calculated to appeal most strongly to those people already 26hours into their day.
I hope you didn't startle anyone. :)

--Patrick
I usually startle people around here when I'm reading Halforums, but at least I don't yell at the screen while I do it.

So... you mean you won't be my consort? :([DOUBLEPOST=1449687358,1449687153][/DOUBLEPOST]
Kirk or Picard?
Are you trying to start a war? Why don't you just ask me whether I prefer Subways or Quizos or how I like my steak cooked?

You've got to think about these things, stienman.
 
One human-sized weasel under your command, or five weasel-sized ones?
5 weasel-sized ones. Better for getting into tight spaces like up trouser legs.

A hot air balloon or a helicopter?
That's difficult. Both are good for dropping enraged badgers on peoples' heads but I think I would prefer the romanticism of a hot air balloon.

Owls or sea cucumbers?
Sea cucumbers are loathsome, spineless creatures that will be wiped from the seas

World Domination for a year, or the love of your life, for life?
I plan on having both, with unlimited renewal options on the world domination part.

Wealth beyond your wildest dreams, or knowledge beyond your greatest understanding?
Do I get an option for power in there anywhere? What kind of multiple choice is this?

I'll go with wealth. I can probably use one to get the other but wealth will get me power quicker.

Live and let live, or Live by the sword, die by the sword?
"What is best in life is to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women."

Clichés or stereotypes?
We'll go with clichés, simply because I like the way that word sounds. ;)[DOUBLEPOST=1449688983,1449688901][/DOUBLEPOST]
But with World Domination sure could just force the love of her life into loving her. (and to take care of the time after that year, she can just have him disappeared to her retirement villa in Emyrskatchewan.



Does this sound like a good plan?
Sound like a good plan? That is the plan!

PS: you're first on the list.
 
Will you teach any of the doomies to hula before they invade my island?
It's a good idea since it will necessary for them to blend in as much as possible before starting the attack. However, doomies are not known for their "line up and do things in a dignified manner" qualities. They are more known for piling on each other and being as much as a nuisance as possible. Think Dave Seville yelling at Alvin & the Chipmunks, except these chipmunks have fangs and claws. And are weaponized.[DOUBLEPOST=1449718748,1449718657][/DOUBLEPOST]
In complete 100% seriousness, how many weasels do you have?
I truly do have 14 ferrets - 4 upstairs and 10 downstairs. My plan is to open a ferret rescue shelter when I finally retire.
 
It's a good idea since it will necessary for them to blend in as much as possible before starting the attack. However, doomies are not known for their "line up and do things in a dignified manner" qualities. They are more known for piling on each other and being as much as a nuisance as possible. Think Dave Seville yelling at Alvin & the Chipmunks, except these chipmunks have fangs and claws. And are weaponized.
Okay, but in what universe is "doing the hula" something "dignified"?
 
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