I am sorry

There is a limit on people I can tag. I'd tag almost everyone.

@Gusto Your painting is beautiful. My friends comment on it all the time. My then-girlfriend was so happy with it - I think she was worried I'd commissioned something awful. You've impressed a lot of people.

@Charlie Don't Surf Apocalypse Now was constantly on my to-watch list until you turned up on the forums, and I made it a point to watch it. It is one of my favourite films. I hate that your name has become a by-word for people concerned about the wellbeing of others. You are an idealist, and maybe a bit of an ideologue, but I love that you care so much.

@GasBandit You're far and away my favourite poster here. I can't think of another person I disagree and agree with more. You polarise me daily, you challenge my thinking.

@stienman You're a good person. I'm so glad you take the time to pursue issues from the silly to the serious in such an impassioned way.

@Cajungal You always, always buoy my spirits.

@Jay I'm sorry I'll never get that poutine I owe you. Thank you for teaching me that devoir can also mean 'owe'.

@ThatNickGuy You will persevere where I have not.

@Frank I wish we'd grabbed a beer sometime. Keep doing Alberta good.

@phil Thanks for the letters. They make me smile.

To everyone here, I wish I had the energy to say something to you all individually, but I do not.

You've been so good. I miss North_Ranger. I miss ...

I like this forum. It is such a relief to come here. I'm so sorry for my weakness. Please see me on my way with humour. Morbid jokes, grim tales, perverse glee.

To anyone here who couldn't stand me: I liked and hated you all the same. Alien, or @lien or whatever, I really hated your overuse of ellipses. But you're a good egg, and don't quit on my account. I'm just some jackass who will be ash soon.

This forum was a weird home. I'm sorry I'm too weak to give back to it like I ought to. And yes, I used a preposition to end a sentence with.

Leigh Johnson.
 
Leigh, please don't do this.

Call this number right now, please do it.

403-266-HELP

Please do it, this helped a friend of mine when she was suicidal. It helped her get started. It is treatable. I know, I suffered depression for over a decade and went through it.

And if you won't call the number, do one thing first. Think about it. If you're going to end your life, give yourself a day to think about it. One day. 24 hours. You can take it for another day.
 
Leigh, it shows you being online, so please read this.

I know how you feel. Where everything seems so ugly, nothing is going right and the whole world is one big unfair mess. It's just one damn thing after another, and it never feels like it's going to get better. I'm feeling that way at the moment myself, have been for almost the last year. But I also know from other times I've dealt with this darkness is that IT DOES NOT LAST FOREVER. Time will eventually heal it. Maybe not all the way, but enough that you can live with it and keep going. Please know that we are all worried about you here right now. You are part of OUR family. Please, we've already lost Mikko, don't do anything rash. I think Mikko would want you to push on.

You tried to be there for me earlier this year when I was at my lowest low, and I couldn't call myself a friend if I didn't try to do the same for you now. Please, if you need to talk, PM me. Let's talk it out. I'll stay up as long as it takes to help.
 

Dave

Staff member
I'm up at 2 am trying to find out something - anything - to help out in the situation. And I'm not going to bed until I find out something.

Think about that, Leigh. We care that much. You rouse an old man like me from his sleep, it better be important. And you are.
 
@Chad Sexington DONT FUCKING GO QUIETLY INTO THAT NIGHT, RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT!

I am not going to be sappy, I have and continue to be where you are buddy. dont fucking do it, your life is the only one you have,dont end it now in your youth, there is so much science still to be done my good chum! So I am pulling for as is the entire Halforums family. You ever need someone to talk to you fucking talk to me! No one wants you to be another statistic!
 
Well, this was startling to wake up to.
I certainly hope Chad is just saying he needs to be away from the board for a while.

--Patrick
 
@Chad Sexington I was thinking about you last night when I was going to bed wishing that I sent you a PM after your earlier posts about the sounds. Please say that this is just a call for help.

There is always something to live for. You just have to find it. You only get one chance on this planet. One chance to: travel, explore, help, learn, laugh, sing, dance, play, and love. Please don't do anything that will change that. Know that there are folks who do care and think about you even though we've never met. Let us know how we can help.
 

Dave

Staff member
And if you are fine, do NOT feel bad about coming back in! Don't be embarrassed. We want you to come back, joke, talk, and generally be the sexy bastard you are.
 
Man, I just saw this post.

I know I am late but please don't do anything rash and know that there are people who really care for you :(
 
I'm very glad to know that you are still alive. I hope you recover completely, and I hope you understand our love and concern for you and your happiness.
 

fade

Staff member
We might not be there physically with you, but we are all your friends. If we haven't said enough when you've reached out, it's only because there's not much to say. We're there with a virtual hand on your shoulder. I hope you'll feel better.
 
I'm terrible at online sentiments - I'm a hugger and I wish that I could give you a hug in person.

I'm so happy that you're alive Chad. So, so glad.
 
Thread with personal information has been removed from public sight.
Yeah, I noticed when it ate the post I had spent way too long composing. Grr.

I don't have a lot of time because I'm just on a break right now at work, but I want to say this to @Chad Sexington and any of our other forum members who deal with depression; I frequently see references about how someone is not as "strong" as the rest of us, but this is an incorrect assumption. I'm sure that it must seem to you like the rest of the world has some magical ability or talent that somehow allows them to endure/avoid the same crushing weight that plagues you, but I'm willing to bet this is not really the case. After all, a person with a cold doesn't wonder how it is that everyone else around him manages to keep from sneezing/coughing, etc.

I'm just saying that depression is a normal thing that everyone experiences at some time or another. But persistent, clinical depression is an illness (chemical, physical, mental, whatever), and it deserves diagnosis and treatment just as much as any other illness because, just like any other illness, if it is left untreated for too long, it can and will negatively affect your life...or even kill you.

--Patrick
 
Leigh, I don't know if this has any value coming from me but I'm really really glad, and relieved, that you're not gone. And I'm sorry that I didn't do more to help you in the past.
I hope you'll get better, and to see you around here again when you do.
 
Yeah, I know I don't know you as well as others here Leigh but man, I love it when you post and I am SO happy you are still here.
 
Hey Leigh, so glad you're still here. I may be a lurker, but I love seeing your posts and am waiting to see you post again.
 
I just hope you get the therapy/medical attention you need. You obviously have something wrong as you had mentioned in previous threads that you were having auditory hallucinations. If anything like that ever happens again, please seek help right away in the future.

We like having you around.
 
@Chad Sexington -for whatever you're feeling right now, or whenever you read this, know that there are a lot of people who care about you and would find the world a poorer place without you in it. Please come back to us soon! (I'll draw more, I promise! ;))
 
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